From Quebec with Love

Well I'm in love with my dad's wide angle lens. It's freaking amazing. I'll post a few pictures up later... I was really angry at myself today becuase I realized I think I left my picture uploader thing back at the Fairmont at Mont Tremblant. We're now in Quebec City. I pouted and sulked for a good hour until my dad lent me his camera.


I forgot how great it was to be living in a hotel. Mmmm. And all those years I've taken the five star hotels for granted. The first night we arrived in Mont Tremblant I took a long shower and tried every cream and shower gel and lay around in their thick terry cloth bathrobes. And I got to sprawl on a queen size bed and it smelled like fresh laundry. Mmm.


Anyway we're now staying in a massive suite (double bedroom with kitchenette, living room and one bathroom) in a boutique hotel. We've wandered around some parts and there are so many beautiful little art galleries (expensive) and cafes. For dinner my bro and I both ordered duck confit (duck soaked in fat.. hahaha). It was great. I'm not looking forward to weighing myself when I get home. I've been eating way too many unhealthy heavy things this month.


I am now debating whether or not to see the chick flicks of the summer: the novel-turned-film 'The Devil Wears Prada' and Sophia Copolla's 'Marie Antoinette'.
I never really liked the book itself when it came to the 'Devil Wears Prada'. I'm quite tired of chick-lit books- they're overdone. The only reason that I'd watch it would be for the clothes and then again I'm not a huge fan of pure designer clothing either. Hm. I wonder if Meryl Streep wears Hermes scarves every day. I must admit she looks amazing with silver hair. Tania just asked me to watch it with her. Now maybe I will. :P Plus it got good reviews.
As for Marie Antoinette, after reading a few reviews (no not critics but from other people's blogs) I have decided that I may give it a shot. Although people have said that Copolla used New Age music and portrayed the princess as some immature teenager it can be argued that the entire movie was stylized to show utter lavishness and luxury. However then I'd rather see the historically accurate costumes to be a bit more modern- I mean if you're opting for rock band music to Baroque violins, and a modern teenager personality to a prim, polished princess, you ought to change the costumes too so that the entire movie is unified in both visuals, emotional state and sensory perception. Yeah I don't really know what I'm talking about. However I've read that it's a little too much frivolity and the audience is unable to connect and empathize with Kirsten Dunst (whom I am not a real fan of). Anyway we'll see.


Wednesday is going to be one hell of a day. First I have my interview at H&M and then I have to go to my oral surgeon to get my wisdom teeth extracted. I really do not want to be put under. Just the thought of breathing in sleeping gas and unconscious for 20 minutes freaks me out a bit. I really don't care about the IV tube thing- I've helped my nurse hold the needle while it was still before when I was taking a blood test. Plus I remember I start sewing classes that night and I probably will be too drugged up to go. Ai yah

Gonna be on a mini hiatus for a while unless I have internet.
You'll survive without me. ;)

Dilemmas & Criticisms of a Christian Fashion Student

Today I got my first retail rejection from the H&M at the Promenade. Well it really wasn't a rejection- it was just that they didn't hire summer students and only permanent positions. Boo. I feel the pressure to get into the Vaughan Mills one. I like the store atmosphere and structure more anyhow- the one at Promenade is quite dead and quiet. We'll see how the interview goes.


I'm very tired of Christians putting down clothes/bags/anything that's labeled as 'girly/feminine/materialistic' as the epitome of greedy sinfulness. Oh please. I received my monthly subscription of the magazine 'Brio and Beyond' for Christian women in university. There was this one article called 'Foggy Castles and Designer Bags' and the writer wrote about a classical painting depicting a castle that she saw and fell in love with because it also reminded her of how real eternity is and how when the veil is lifted and we see Him face to face, we'd be glad that we didn't buy 'that cute skirt [she] saw on sale'. Another thing- she only mentions designer bags once in her article something that seemed so totally off within the context of the devo itself "On that day, the stuff I waste my time thinking about, the piles of stuff I want- the funky designer bags that look like something right off the shoulder of Sienna Miller...". Titles capture the essence and the most important points in articles and should draw the reader in. I just think the 'designer bag' part was a bit of an afterthought. Sorry, after taking grade 12 english with The Schiffer, I'm really anal about these things.
Anyway I really like to read the Reader's comments sections of every magazine to get a jist of how all the other Christian women out there think about Brio. One person mentioned that her friends would be more drawn to a Christian magazine if they added more fashion/trend related articles in. So guess what they did? They wrote an article called 'The Bare Facts on Baring It All' focusing on modesty and how a girl should dress modestly ("When you emphasize your figure with clingy tops, tight jeans, plunging necklines or bare bellies, you're not being considerate to guys"). That line sounded so cheesy the first time I read it and I was slightly miffed by the 'not being considerate to guys'. Notice how they used the word 'or' rather than 'and'. Are they implying that we should wear loose tops, baggy jeans, shallow necklines and long t shirts all in one go? That we should not wear a loose top with tight jeans? They even dedicated a page called 'Fashion Challenge: how do you know if an outfit is modest or not?'
Kill me now.
Before you go on arguing about how true this is and how wrong I am to think that modesty should not be an issue when deciding on what to wear in the morning, I can vouch for what I wear to be completely appropriate for church. However I do own some things that are considered 'unappropriate' (ie cuffed shorts) which I like to wear on every other day besides Sunday. And now you may say, "ugh how unchristian-like of you... remember the real service begins AFTER church service. How two-faced: how hypocritical." All I can say is that when I'm not hanging out with church guys, I'm free to wear what I like especially on those steaming days we keep getting in toronto. No it doesn't mean walking around in a bikini but I like to hang out with my female friends and be comfortable wearing shorts. You know what the model is wearing on the Brio magazine as the example that all christian women should follow? A blazer with a long sleeve underneath and a long skirt. You're going to be sweating bullets, woman. Let me remind you it's summer.










On the other hand I like having the challenge of dressing to accomodate Christian beliefs although it can get a tad expensive with all the layering involved. I am absolutely in love with the cheongsam- not your cheesy touristy ones in gaudy shiny red polyester and glitter, but back in the day when every woman had their dresses tailored in silks with hand embroidered details. Ah the art. I actually wrote a seven page paper on the evolution of the cheongsam/qi pao. After watching 'Flowers of Shanghai' and '2046' I was just taken away by the beauty these women portrayed. Then again although the cheongsam covers pretty much the entire body, it hugs the body and defines the figure. Honestly I don't think the statement Brio wrote that I mentioned above is quite accurate. It sounds like you can't wear anything that's low cut or tight or clingy. Period. Of course my favourite actress, Gong Li (which reminds me 'Miami vice' is coming out soon!) was incredibly sexy in '2046'. Click on the picture. She just looks so refined and elegant. The first movie I mentioned was set probably around the 1800's when the loose qi pao was worn with wide trousers. Though everything was loose, the women were perfectly coiffed and made up and the details in their clothes were incredible.
So is it wrong to dress to please yourself? What if your goal was not to dress for the guys but for yourself? I know one day I'll grow old and I'll have to cover up anyway. And that is not saying I'm wearing revealing clothes. I just feel a bit stifled in what I personally want to wear in fear of being mistaken as someone who seeks male attention.
So in the end I very much disagree with what Brio had to say on these matters. Either they were just too rigid in their thinking or they're being too loose with their choice of diction.


When I got home today, I saw the newest InStyle magazine sitting on the stairs for me. Apparently my mom went to Walmart and bought me a copy (magazines are marked 10% off) since she knew I wanted one. I was just flipping through it and saw the prettiest strapless (oh scandalous!) dress in pink with a sprinkle of white polka dots (haha tania your greatest hate. You're lucky it's $458- something I can't afford) and the first thing I thought was 'who made it?' and answerd my own question: 'Marc Jacobs' and went searching for the designer's name. Lo and behold, I guessed right and was very pleased. I get really excited when I can connect an item with the name it's designer. It's like how graphic designers have to memorize fonts. I suck with connecting singers to their albums or songs. I suck at recognizing faces. I suck at recognizing celebrities (even though I walked passed Drew Barrymore and the Green Goblin guy from Spiderman and had no idea until roomie told me). So it's a big accomplishment for me to have studied and read up things in magazines and be able to recognize a Marc Jacobs dress.
Going back to the issue of modesty, I actually saw the very same dress in a Teen Vogue issue a few months ago where the model was wearing a thin yellow t shirt underneath and I thought it looked very different and fresh by injecting a dose of modesty. In this, I applaud. I've taken this idea up and have been wearing tank tops under every dress I have.


I'm also very big into the art of suggestion. Why reveal what's more fun to conceal? I find that more interesting than a bare expanse of skin anyway. A woman who chooses to merely suggest what is underneath I personally find more mysterious and endearing.

Self-Titled Saint

You saw her today.
Angelic washed in a robe of white among the congregated saints.
Yet just a hollow shell,
Chocolate coated splendour.
An Easter bunny sugar wrapped in shiny tinfoil pastel.
But all that was left was a toxic venom-
unraveling and trickling down the fangs
Ready to burn and bleed all that was in its path
To destroy the things it most cherished.
A city in civil war.


And yet driving down that Sunday road after all routines were finished,
when all familiar faces had gone in cheerful laughter,
she wanted to scream and let go of the wheel
Losing herself in the music and all that was already lost
To be able to bare the fangs and pierce her skin
A puncture
To let it all out-
Slowly at first the black blood forms a sphere
only a dot like a freckle on the flesh
A globe that sums up a war torn country.
But it wells and overflows streaking the golden paper like spider veins.
All that poisoned her
To let it run and flow freely.


And yet here I sit in composure
only silent tears the tell tale signs of turmoil.
The only comforting voice telling me that love is more than fate
That love is more than just a song.
A game of chess.
And I remember that we vowed that our fates would never fall into the tragedy of Snow Flower
But that has all passed summers ago.
And it feels like rubber stretched thinly over the lip of a glass jar.
Was this over before it ever began?


She closes her wings around her
A coccoon of lace and cotton.
Tending to the lashes that were only partially hers
The faults of two and not one.

Fashion and Dating

Blog:
an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page; also called Weblog, Web log
Example:
Typically updated daily, blogs often reflect the personality of the author.


I confess. I have an addiction to blogging.


Yeah that wasn't the most insightful point but whatever.
I'm considering channeling my thoughts elsewhere.
Where?
I'm a regular visitor of craigslist.com's job section and I always click first on 'art/design' (which always sucks in toronto) and then 'retail/food service' and then 'writing'. I remember several months ago I saw an ad asking for college students to contribute to the 'Campus College' magazine (which I have never personally read but I guess it's distributed at all unis within Ontario or something) within the topics of music, sports, movies and of course fashion. Dun dun dun.... they also asked for photographers but I thought the assignments were extremely lame and dumb. Get this. They wanted some people to photograph pictures of 'faces and places' for their annual Top Ten list. They're completely retarded:
Abs
Hottest faces
Haircuts
Cars (you must be in the picture)
Tan line
Hottest girlfriends/boyfriends (you both must be in the picture)
Celebrity look-alikes (tell us who you look like)
Pets (owner must be in the picture)
Nicest Butt (clothed please)


This is what they wanted fashion writers to write about:
Smelly celebs (celebrity colognes, perfumes, fragrances)
New celebrity clothing lines
Websites offering clothing (all colleges, unique product)
Essentials for certain situation (i.e. pool party, first date, beach, clubbing)
Do and Donts
Street style (independent style for person)


I really don't care for perfumes and actresses who decide one day that they want a fragrance nor am I interested in the whims of wannabe actress/singer turn-fashion designer (they only use their name to sell their clothes. Think J.Lo or Jessica Simpson. They probably get people to design most of their stuff anyway and just wear it to save money on advertising). I don't mind doing websites- I can find a ton of sites with unique products though may be pricey. haha... Essentials for clubbing? er. Not interested. I particularly hate the 'Dos and Donts' in magazines because they're extremely lame- who are you to tell me what's in and what's out? Street style would be interesting to do only if I lived downtown. Of course if I do anything of this sort my writing style would have to change to become more formal and more gramatically correct.


Anyway I read this from Susie Bubble's blog about fashion and dating and guys. It's really funny and true.

I am only too aware that some guys are put off by girls who take fashion very seriously and before you cry out in protest, I can even in fact see their point of view. Logistically, these guys might perceive the following:
1) You are clearly obsessed with shopping and lead a vapid life running up hugh credit card bills. If you were to be their girlfriend, could you be inflicting your spending habits on to them as well??
2) Fashionistas are haughty creatures, and guys could be thinking they are too-cool-for school let alone them, and all this added to guys' own insecurities, looking too good can be seen as somewhat threatening and frightening.
3) They just don't understand fashion itself. Dressing outlandishly and creatively may score points with fellow female fashion luvvies but with the majority of guys, the length of skirt, the bustline of a top and the tautness of clothing are all they need to know.
I'm aware few of us conform to these perceptions but we can't ignore the fact they exist either. Perhaps, I could attract all sorts of dates with a tighter/more easy on the eye ensemble or conservative style consistency but I would be betraying my self and my style.

salt. h&m. this is me.

Bought: Never Take Friendship Personal cd, Anberlin
I am so inspired by fashion blogs written by random people. They're not really into what's in per se but love to explore small name designers, conceptual designers and international fashion. This has been my addiction for the past few weeks:
http://stylebubble.typepad.com/style_bubble/
This blogger is located in Toronto:
http://www.eurobrat.blogspot.com/


They've encouraged me to look beyond what everyone else is seeing and to find things in the every day. To rethink how we wear things and to be more creative. I'm still looking for a good Do-It-Yourself fashion blog but unfortunately there aren't that many out there. Hm maybe I should start one but that would take quite a lot of time thinking of different creative projects.


Almost week ago, my mom took me to the bank to open her safe so I could take some of her jewelry and put it to good use. She has so many of those gold peach things from her wedding- they're garish. I was able to snag three jade rings and a small ruby/diamond necklace (too mature for me at the moment and I'm afraid of being robbed in New York if I wear it).
Personally I find fashion is a commentary of our times, our values, our loves- a physical representation of what we believe- no matter how much you hate the industry itself.


I'm very excited about my H&M opportunity. I'm actually extremely thrilled that I even got a chance for an interview being asked right on the spot (though it was a little daunting). My dad said I should work at LaCoste (I wish) so he could get polo shirts for a good discount. LOL. Did you know LaCoste originated from tennis wear? That's where I'm getting my future boyfriend his polos. Anyway, it's only a retail job but I'm happy to be able to get my foot in the door. Something is telling me to chill a little because I haven't been hired yet let alone have my interview. But there are discounts! Plus H&M is very much into collaborating with famous designers such as Stella McCartney (beatles anyone?) and Karl Lagerfeld (Chanel) to create affordable clothes with the designer brand. Apparently Madonna is now the face of H&M and a jumpsuit of hers is coming out in H&M stores soon. And if I get the job I'll be there- not liked I'd get it. What would I do with a jumpsuit? Then again I think many things can be worn if done appropriately. Plus the press just released H&M's new fall collection and it looks great in the photographs (duh). Okay I'm blabbering. If any of you need to buy things, I'll get them for you at discount- that is if I get the job. I think all my girlfriends are extremely thrilled. I think I'll visit the H&M at Promenade and hand in my resume there as a safety net just in case. I'm really excited- get ready for the mundane tasks of folding clothes and perhaps ringing things up at the cashier. I actually enjoy watching girls try things on and ask their friends what they think and watch them preen (to an extent of course).


Today at Moxie's, Andrew pointed that I had nothing to say because I blog it all here. The thing is, many of my thoughts are of things people wouldn't be interested in. I mean, what I have been writing so far? Fashion blogs, H&M and.... fashion. I doubt you'd be interested in having someone blabber on about stuff like that. Plus writing allows me to reread, add and edit things. It's fun.


I've really enjoyed the tape sermons at SALT the past couple of weeks. I think that's my prime motivation to go every week. I personally find it daunting to attend the university student group- people I've known of but never personally known. Or people I used to talk to and never do anymore. It's just awkward. Yes you can't know everyone in the fellowship but I don't even feel comfortable in the group. I feel set apart. I feel uptight and scared. It's not a psychological thing but I really do feel some kind of barrier. Sometimes I don't know whether to say hi or not to people I only know of and I guess people just mistake it as unfriendliness. I'm really shy to begin with- not outgoing and bubbly like Angie. I guess you could say that's the 'art kid' side of me. And I feel extremely vulnerable. I know people I don't know names of are reading this. I remember when I was in New York, I couldn't wait to come back because at my Ny church, no one knew me whereas if I came back, people at least would know my name. And now I'm back I feel insecure. And all those old memories and feelings have been unlocked and I remember. My brother reminds me of myself.
Omg my brother knew who Anberlin was even before me. He gave me this look at dinner when I asked him how he knew the band and he said "I have friends you know."
These songs are so great for cruising in the car. Hm.... yay I'll get the car tomorrow!

Paper Thin Hymn: the beauty of words

These roads never seemed so long
Since your paper heart stopped beating leaving me suddenly alone
Will daybreak ever come?

Who's gonna call on Sunday morning?
Who's gonna drive you home?
I just want one more chance
To put my arms in fragile hands

I thought you said forever
Over and over
A sleepless night becomes bitter oblivion
These thoughts run through my head
Over and over
Complaints of violins become my only friends

August evenings
Bring solemn warnings
To remember to kiss the ones you love goodnight

You never know what temporal days may bring
So Laugh, love, live free, and sing
When life is in discord
Praise ye the Lord

-Paper Thin Hymn, Anberlin


I think I've found my new 'It' band (though not MTV famous)- they're actually coming to Toronto this summer along with Yellowcard. They've also played in concerts with Christian bands like Kutless and Relient K. Funny. I'm not sure if they are a Christian band but I heard this song was inspired by the death of someone's grandmother and many of their songs hint of God (save 'Cadence' where God is the main focus from what I hear in the itunes clip). I find their songs quite poetic with a sense of abstractness and personification. I love the name of the song (I think all the names of the songs are great: symphony of blasé). I love saying words allowed- feeling its texture and luxuriousness as they roll on your tongue. It's one of those pleasures we tend to forget- the gift of speaking. I'm not talking about speech but just being able to talk- to make sounds and communicate with others. I think that's why I love writing descriptions- feeling my way through colours, moods and contrast; sifting through words, finding the perfect one to sum up all I want to say. Feel your lips moving as you create words and sounds. Luminous. Iridescent. Opulence. Flourish. Sadness. Depth. Intoxicate.
They're such beautiful words to say. Take pleasure in the little things.

Lips That Need No Introduction

Everyone in this town

is seeing somebody else

Everybody's tired of someone

our eyes wander for help

Prayers that need no answer now

I'm tired of who I am

You were my greatest mistake

I fell in love with your sin

Your littlest sin

The Feel Good Drag, Anberlin

Er I don't know if this is a popular band.. I was surfing the internet and got into this girl's My Space page and the song was playing... I guess it isn't since tania had issues dling it for me. Listen to it at her blog. It automatically starts: http://www.myspace.com/cointreaurock I am addicted to it. I love the repeat chorus at the end with just the drums and the singer and to add adrenaline, the rest of the acoustics are added in. I honestly have not heard a good song in a long time.

So today was very uneventful since I woke up at 11am... I basically sat at the comp for a super long time- so bored that I even read NBA articles and read up on botched tattoo articles. I read the newspaper while making doll noodles (gung-zhai-meen) and cut up articles on garment outsourcing to China and how to display things to make people buy your products (for future reference) and this article on how little kids get philosophical at a really young age ("Daddy how did Jesus die?" asked his daughter and then his son chimed in "Jesus died from eating too much ice cream" hahaha...) And then my mom came back finally to rescue me from boredom and I ended up decorating more of those mascarpone cheese chocolate tarts for a couple's tenth anniversary. I also gorged on a huge Chinese almond cookie, a croissant and a mouthful of the mascarpone cheese. LOL. After dinner I decided to work up the guts to find a job at the mall so my parents and I drove to Vaughan Mills (because I don't want to be seen at Markville mall by people I know) and the first store I went to was H&M and they made me wait for a good 15 minutes because the hiring guy was doing cashier. It's insane in there even when it's near closing time. I had to fill out this short form about working times and why I wanted to work there. He then asked me why I wanted to work there and I was so nervous I said "because I love working there- I mean shopping there" The guy just laughed at me (my mom later pointed out I was wearing nothing from H&M. To make it even better I wore this ratty white shirt that's both torn in the sleeve and a little stained from overuse. It's my first time wearing it since... oh.... grade 8? HAHAHA. It's been lying on the floor for the past year. That's why I don't throw clothes out.. I know I'll wear it again in the future). Anyway I am scheduled for an interview on July 5 at 12pm. I hope it's more of a conversational interview than an interrogation. I have reasons for wanting to work there- I really do love that store. I would never sign up at a store that I hated- that's why I only handed out two resumes today as opposed to my friend who handed out 80. I cannot imagine sitting there lying my butt off saying how much I like their stuff if I really didn't. If have to work retail, I need to work at a place that I usually shop at and love and love the space and surroundings. I hate the Guess atmosphere and overpriced clothes and I hate Le Chateau's ugly white lighting with concrete walls. H&M is always changing, with nice bright lighting and hardwood floors. I just want some extra cash to spend on more clothes. LOL. just kidding- kind of.

I want to make money as well as fill up some of my summer with something more productive. The prime reason is so that I can slowly climb up the ladder- I'd like to end up some luxury store doing visuals but we'll see. Start small and I'll get there. I just need some retail experience in my resume. Pure resume.

Omg I just heard Paris Hilton's new teenybopper song 'Stars are Blind'. It's totally synthesized and smoothed out by the wonders of technology. If you want to know what Malibu Barbie sounds like in real life, this is it. I really dislike her. She is the prime example of a kid who goes far in life just with her dad's money and tabloids.

Miscommunication

Omg I was surfing 'Engrish.com' and found this. LOL. I couldn't stop cracking up. This was taken in Osaka, Japan of an obviously clueless guy... going on 4 days now.. puahaha.

Anyway I also found an interesting article on celebs and ignorant white people getting Chinese tattoos because they're 'exotic' yet either they mean gibberish or are awkwardly translated. It's hilarious. Includes some NBA stars too.. lol.

http://www.thefighting44s.com/discussion/viewtopic.php?t=6250&sid=36c4f27ef81d0bcc53b42f95c1a6af0f

So the moral of the story kids, don't get chinese tattoos period. Or t shirts printed with foreign language.

Fantasy Meets Reality

Heaven is a reality that we have created a fantasy out of.
I just finished watching 'The Hills' on MTV. For all you Canadians out there (haha. My roomie and I are MTV junkies- well I don't watch it anymore. It's only fun with someone who you can commentate with) 'The Hills' is basically your reality tv version of the OC where cameras follow a girl called Lauren also known as 'LC'.. and we get to see what she does every day (oh did I mention she's also very rich and has very rich friends and they do nothing except sunbathe and live on Laguna Beach? That was the name of the prequel: Laguna Beach now playing on MTV Canada at a tv near you. 'The Hills' is the sequel). Anyway, in the sequel, we get to see her go to university (LA school of fashion and merchandise- some nobody school..hehehe... ) and so far she has got this huge duplex apartment complete with a winding staircase and a pool (duh). She also gets an internship at Teen Vogue and what does she do?? She goes to celebrity/promotion parties and takes photos of the models for future fashion shows and attends the shows... what is this??
But perhaps you don't know why I'm throwing such a hissy fit. It's actually because this so-called reality show was literally created by someone. She's breezing through life with her money and MTV fame. Look, I go to Parsons School of design and stay at home doing work every night while I see working on her suntan by the pool (where is her picnic basket?? I wonder if she can make a paper shoe that can withstand her weight without using tape or glue.. hahaha). And as far as internships are concerned, I have friends who worked at Ralph Lauren and did nothing but dumb presentation boards with fabric swatches and tedious crap that no one wants to do or run errands around the city for a couture designer. Geez. That's partially why I didn't want an internship this year: I don't want to be doing useless things like fetching coffee or finding the right colour match for the fabric. You dont go to shows and do all the fancy glitzy stuff they had her do. Yet little girls buy it up and say "I want a Teen vogue internship but I'm only 13".
But then again maybe that's why Parsons has so many famous alumni and the LA whatever school doesn't. hahaha.. Then again so many famous designers dropped out of Parsons and became huge... like Donna Karan for DKNY. lol. 'Biggest failure at Parsons' our dean said.
Anyway I guess what I'm trying to say, in a bigger sense, is that we're all trying to search for this fantasy in our lives. For God designed us to end up in heaven- that fantasmic place we can hardly try to imagine how glorious it'd be yet we'd rather search for it down here. Something we can see, have immediately and be able to escape into and forget everything else. It's everywhere. The reason why guys play video games, buy X Box 360s and become the hero of the hour. The reason why so many girls splurge on a new outfit- to become someone better or different- an escape to a world where she is the definition of beauty. The reason why we watch sports- getting lost in the anticipation, and excitement of a game. The reason why many of us are so driven to become wealthy and/or famous- we get into the ideas of sleek cars, glamorous parties, and couture gowns. The reason why we value business so much (er did you see how big DECA was this year at uhs? It was the hugest club out of our entire school). The reason why fashion ads are peppered with impossibly skinny models in some surreal graphic setting (the exaggeration of an idea as Parsons grad, Behnaz Sarafpour, put it. Now why exaggerate an idea? There are very few ads out there that actually realistically portray life as we know it). The reason why MTV plays 'Sweet Sixteen' or 'The Hills' or '8th and Ocean' or we have 'American Idol', and 'America's Next Top Model'. And all in the name of a fantastic dream of fulfilling our greatest desires: to find that bridge where fantasy meets reality where we find complete and utter happiness and contentment.
Fantasy is reality. Many of us just don't see it. Many of us will never find it. Fantasy met reality when Jesus met the tree (sorry I don't want to use cliches as true as they may be).

Louis Vuitton

This is another fashion related post. Just warning you.
Sometimes I wonder about Value Village and the people who directly donate their stuff to them. I mean, usually they go to charities which collect the items and then the vintage store people come in and take the best stuff and the rest is shipped to thrift stores, Africa and companies that use them to make rags (yes I have read up on this. This time I have cold facts from the toronto star... or was it the globe and mail..). Anyway since it was such a nice day out, I decided to walk to Value Village- it takes 3.25 rounds of 'Come What May' to get there (I know I'm getting a little obsessive over a thrift/junk store.. but I'm helping charity and recycling. I think Value Village can be far more interesting than Hillcrest Mall). Anyway I was wandering around when I saw the very common poo brown and mustard yellow bag. And I could not believe it! In the dark musty corner of their display case, was a squashed Louis Vuitton bag (the one featured in the picture. I researched it later and found out it was their Montsouris backpack named after a park in Paris or something). I took it out to see while the store clerk just stood there and then seriously contemplated on whether or not to sign up as an employee to get some great discount on already heavily discounted stuff. I mean the bag was a freaking $60!! Do you understand how cheap that is??? No probably not. That bag runs from $700-$970 US in stores. Geez. So I took note of all the details of the bag from the stitching (if it was consistent and clean) to the monogram and stamp (to see if it said 'made in china' or was really lightly stamped- a tell tale sign of a fake) to the colour and texture of the leather to the hardware details (LV written on the zipper and 'Louis Vuitton' on the rivets) because the store people didnt know if it was real or not. I'm pretty convinced it's a real one- the one at the store. It just puzzles me that some dumb person donated it. I'd sell it on ebay. Oh well, better for vultures like me. Some other lady in the store had a lime green Prada purse in her shopping cart. Geez.. I think value village really has upped it's wares- I found a Sisley sweater there too except it was ugly.
Anyway though I've always hated the stamped LV bags, I have been entertaining the thoughts of getting it in the next few days (trust me, things go in a couple of days). When it comes to discounts and thrift finds, I can be a label whore. I went onto the LV website and just watched this mini video clip on how they made their suitcases and I am mesmerized by every process (I had to study their suitcases for my picnic basket project). If I ever become rich, I'm getting a custom made trunk- they're so cool. Not because of the label but they have the most interesting ways of opening and closing things, storing things and I find it so entertaining and appreciate the craftsmanship after so many hours of slaving away at a warped picnic basket (actually very few people can tell it was done by me with all the staining and fancy gold hinges. It has become one handy night table).
Anyway I ended up just getting a $3.99 bag.


My mom asked me how I could stand looking at fashion so much. I actually really do get sick of it- I'm not big on seeing celebrity clothes. I get tired of it when I'm surrounded by it 24/7 at school with all the 'fashion' kids who have to look like 'fashion students' by dressing in labels. I'm really into watching actual people in the streets of New York and on online blogs and forums. Personally those are a lot more inspiring than Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan (did you know she spent about $1 mill on clothes the past year). But my mom is slowly getting into the clothing thing. Although she doesn't really buy much, she now reads the Toronto Star Fashion section on Thursdays, and tells me what she reads over email and saves me articles and free magazines. She also reads the chinese weekly magazine on asian celebs and such.
I enrolled into sewing classes at the Bayview community centre and I hope they'll have enough people to hold the lessons. I really want to learn despite my fear because I want to get a head start when going into 'Garment and Body 1' course in Parsons come fall. I also want to be able to make my own clothes whenever I want and be able to personalize things rather than buy in stores. That way I can examine how a piece of clothing is made, deconstruct it and recreate it with a few yards of cloth and a sewing machine. It's also a very useful and practical skill to have. For example I had just purchased a new shirt from that store in FMP- er- JYC or something and one part wasn't sewn on really well and partially fell off yesterday when I was downtown so today I got out my mom's sewing box and pretended I knew what I was doing by copying what I saw within the other stitches in the shirt. haha... er it's holding up now- so far.

Art Commentary

That's exactly how I feel as I commented before in an earlier post on art and 'art collectors'. This is by a graffiti artist, Banksy.

Scandalous Women: The Apple vs. The Clothing

I am starting to feel the side effects of too much wind. Ugh. Not pretty. I wish I owned or could have access to some really long, impractical gowns for people to wear and for me to take pictures. I think I could then render the wind to do some interesting high fly motion pictures.
Wearing a silk dress yesterday was not the greatest idea- it was really annoying. That Saturday night, I planned my outfit to serve one purpose: to endure long hours in the hot sun of 36 degrees. But the problem was that it had to be relatively 'conservative' for church but light enough to wear outside later on (yet of course, since it was technically with Christians, you still have to wear something that covers one's body up. Because heavens! To even see a thigh- now that is very unchristian.) Anyway, I never really thought it would be that gusty. Oh the perilousness. I should have worn shorts- shorts that go to the shins to cover what skin there is. What was meant to be conservative ended up as an annoyance.
I was speaking to my cousin Grace who I had just given my dress to borrow for church. We were sitting in J Grill and she asked me if the dress had cap sleeves and I thought it did but asked her why it mattered anyway- it had straps! She then asked what the dress code was for RHCBC and if we had a 'no tanktops' policy. I was quite perplexed to begin with because I do not study what the people of the congregation wear in that perspective- I've just been told by my mom after once wearing shorts to church to never wear them again out of respect (now I say, to whom? To the congregation or to God?). Well I told her that I thought RHCBC really doesn't have a 'no tanktop' policy but then again our AC is so cold, I always bring a shrug or a sweater just in case I feel the draft during the sermon. Grace told me that once a girl wore a tank top to church- something sleeveless, and during the service she sneezed and not because she was cold. Well the lady who was speaking stopped what she was saying and in front of everyone, asked the girl if she was cold who in turn answered that she wasn't. Well the lady insisted that she wear someone else's jacket so she had to. When Grace got home after dinner at the Jap restaurant, she tried on the dress and her mom said the neckline was way too low for church. I suggested that she find a really thin tank top in some muted colour to wear underneath to cover what unforbidden area there was to see.
I understand that guys are more visual in that sense but women are no longer celebrating the way they were designed. I mean, what church tells their congregation there is a 'no tanktop policy'? It's an unspoken rule yes, because heaven forbid you show a little shoulder and clavicle. The silly thing is is that the summer is getting hotter thanks to global warming (it has never been this hot in Toronto at this time of the year) and yet are we still expected to cover up? Since I was little when shopping with my mom, she'd make me do a series of 'tests' (ex bending over) to ensure that my clothes stayed perfectly in position without drooping lest I revealed something. I once received a tube top (a shirt without sleeves or straps) as a gift but my mom started questioning whether it was safe to wear it or not and I never did. I remember that one Easter service I was on worship team as the violinist I was afraid that a knee length skirt and wedges would be too revealing despite my mom's constant assurance that it wasn't. And then she told me to not wear shorts in church. So can I wear them outside of church? But then is that in some way, leading a double standard?
The other day I saw Allison and her sister at FMP while I was at the bubble tea stand and I couldn't help but notice that they were wearing tank tops with denim skirts- mid thigh and little part of me wished that I had that kind of confidence- or more like the ability to do so without feeling like I made someone commit a sin. I've considered wearing stockings underneath my shorts and mini skirts but that's kind of ridiculous in 36 degree temperatures. On Sunday I saw Karen wearing a mint green tube top and thought "wow, is that allowed?" Not in a judging manner but surprised.
I am not rebellious against dress codes and being modest, I am just questioning where that fine line is. I am certainly not interested in leading guys on in that sense but I would like to air out my pores when it get hot and humid. I would also like to dress to please myself- I don't want to hide all the time.
So for the past month my mom has been always asking why I wear so much clothing. Today despite the 30 degree temp, I had two halter tops on and a long sleeve. Another day I had my thick black bolera on and my mom made me change into something lighter. In HK to solve this problem of 'immodesty', I wore a collared shirt on top of every scandalous thing to make it 'unscandalous'- and I wore them so much that one became permanently soiled with sweat at the back of the neck and one ripped in the sleeve.
As for bottoms, because I am a 5'8" asian, anything that cuts above my knee make my legs appear miles long. I know it sounds silly but it's true. If you're a magazine junkie like I am, one suggestion for short women is to wear miniskirts to make them appear taller whereas if I did, I'd be afraid of being called 'slutty'.

I've realized from understanding myself and seeing others, that Christian women all over have been taught by the church to fear their bodies. Because if you dare to wear something 'revealing' you either 1) get raped or molested by some dirty guy but it's ALL YOUR FAULT because you just called for it- you and your skirt. 2) allow a guy to have dirty thoughts about you but still, it's ALL YOUR FAULT because his thoughts are yours to control.
Tsk tsk women. Know that your beauty can wield great negative power in the minds of men. So fear the skin you're in. Cover it all up because YOU ARE the STUMBLING BLOCK for our Christian brothers over here. Remember? "The woman made me do it. She made me eat from the tree." I think we've taken this blame game way too far and point our fingers way too long at Eve to even remember there was an Adam or a serpent. Of course this is all about intentions- the reasons for why a girl dresses the way she does either to lure guys or to please herself or to unburden herself of the hot temperatures- but that's hard to tell most of the times because we see the shell before the thought.
So now I'm very self conscious of the things I wear- come to think of it- define 'skimpy clothing' because the lines are blurred for me. It's not a thing about personal discernment because if it was, we wouldn't have church members implying to teens to tone down their way of dress. It is no wonder that women fear themselves.


On the other hand I purchased a great pair of denim bermuda shorts for $25 at the Winners on Bloor today.
Oh and I saw a picture of Michelle Wie, the now highest paid female athlete (though tania thinks golf isn't a sport. :P). She's quite pretty.

Fluidity: as the river flows

My back is aching... ugh. I love entertaining people but I despise the cleaning up. My spine feels sore. When I was washing dishes I felt this pain whenever I breathed in. Ugh. I get that at the most random times so I have to take short quick breaths. So ma fan. I just watch my mom sometimes cooking and cleaning and it depresses me. I know she's doing it for us but I dont want to be cleaning and cooking day after day... ew. Tania's dad does the cooking in the family. haha... It's definitely a useful skill but it becomes a chore- a routine.
I enjoy baking because I personally find it more beautiful than cooking. I like watching the dark richness of the chocolate mix in with the white creamy mixture of the sugar and butter- marbelize and then watch as the dark slowly overtakes the pale. I like watching chocolate in its liquid form, fall in a thin ribbon and lie luxuriously on the cake below. It then hardens with a glossy sheen to it- a shell. I like watching the brownies slowly rise and form a light, airy 'crust' on top. I like watching the pail of fluffy whipped cream fall into generous dollops on top of the mascarpone and egg mixture. I like whipping the whipping cream from its very beginnings of looseness and liquidity to clouds with peaks and shape as the whisks leave a trail of spirals on the smooth surface- a pattern of curlicues and brushstrokes.
But anyway, I got to know some people better today especially Grace who I haven't really gotten to know. I think I had some preconceptions about her judging by what I see at church but she really proved me 'wrong' today. She's really nice, helpful, polite, funny and sweet. I also got to know a little bit of Alex that I never knew before. After half of them left while me and Sam were cleaning, he suddenly told us how much he hated his sister's purse and that he liked "Gucci designs, and some Coach" and disliked Nine West and Guess but loved Grace's bag. Lol. Something totally unexpected. And then told me that his goal for this summer is...... to get a six pack. LOL. He cracks me up. A lot of guys really annoy me- just their whole attitude of trying to be cool and whatnot. Today I was driving back from buying groceries for dinner and a motorcyclist (obviously a hipster/jock type judging by canary yellow wifebeater tank with a white underneath and sunglasses) kept looking into my rear view mirror. I take it since I could see him, he could see me. Anyway he decides to be all cool and zoom past my car, looked back to see that my car was still present and proceeded to sway his body back and forth to make the bike go from left to right in an S-curve on a slant. However when he was doing his fancy manuveurs, his movements reminded me of that of a woman- the swaying of the hips. LOL. I cannot stand their egos. Just like the other day when Tania and I went biking to Mill Pond and there were three guys I guess gr 11.. there was a kid and his dad ahead of us and stopped to let the guys go first. The first guy says "I'm sexy" to all of us.. I wanted to say "that's one person's opinion." I don't understand why they find that kind of 'assertiveness' attractive. I find it rather pretentious, revealing an insecurity within them as if they were trying to prove that they're 'hot stuff'. For me I think humility and honesty are the traits of a real guy. Is this a feminine view? No. I'm not saying that a humble, honest man has to be a wuss, but I think those are the most pure and true from the lot of sheep.


So for Friday. I first have to vacuum and mop the floors and learn how to clean the bathroom (ugh). So tomorrow I guess will be another post-party clean up.
And then I'm going to Winners. Ha.
I don't want a job this summer partially because I don't want to work and I also have a fear of being rejected because I have little experience. But one of the greater reasons is that I believe if I have to pay $42k to go to a fashion school, that Parsons should supply me with connections. Why should I be stuck in some crummy retail job that any teenager here can get when I could be getting an internship at some fashion house? Yeah, that's the stuck up side of me, but it's true. Then again I have considered working at Value Village and Winners because they're so close to me AND I really like those stores- not the typical Aritzia/teenybopper crap you see at all the malls. Haha. Plus I don't like the salespeople at all those stores. However I doubt the pay is good at Winners/Value Village- especially the latter since it's secondhand stuff. Whatever. If I lived downtown, I'd want to work for some vintage/ independent store. Those are the more interesting of the lot where you get customers who are more interested in clothes rather than logos. Last week the Toronto Star had a huge article written by some woman who went to every Winners downtown to see where all the good merch was. So now I'm going to take a trip to the one on College which I have passed by twice already and another around the Bloor area.


Oh right. And there's Salt tomorrow. The reason why I've been avoiding it, is because I'm intimidated. I think it's because I don't know the crowd and feel a little lost. I dont like that period of floundering- waiting for a person I recognize (hopefully) before the session starts. I have no idea what to do with myself and feel a little awkward. But I guess I'll give it a shot tomorrow.


Anyway, Saturday I'll get to spend a little time with Grace, my cousin, in the late afternoon... she's interested in Requiem for a Dream so I'm gonna test drive it on her. There are people you know that would like this kind of film (like soph or vanessa.. not so much julia) and those who would think it's the sickest story ever and who would probably think that you have some really twisted mind for loving such a movie(if you can take gore, don't watch this film. It's not 'gory' per se but you see the guy stick a heroine needle in an already infected wound. yummy).
She's also coming to borrow a dress for church- something, as she said, "something not pretentious and too fancy". Okay. "Something modest enough for church." Gotcha. I like it when people borrow clothes- it makes me feel that they're being used more (plus it also means that they like what I wear. lol) and it's interesting to see it on another body.
I really love the female anatomy. I know it sounds really gay but I love it. Men? Meh not so much but perhaps it's because it's unfamiliar territory for me. A curve I really like in women is the back- more specifically, the small of the back where the spine curls in and back out. I just love the fluidity and the 'swooping' effect. In life drawing we have been taught to first draw an exaggerated line of the model's spine and then build form around it. The primary goal in gesture drawing which lasts from 10 seconds to about 30 seconds, is to basically to capture the movement and pose of the model. It has less to do with anatomy than it is with the fluidity and the strength of the charcoal/conte/pencil on paper and how well you've captured the gesture itself. The most beautiful ones are those that are simple- where only a few lines represent a part of the body. We exaggerate the spine because when we draw, we tend to make the pose stiffer so to counterbalance that we dramatize the spinal cord to correct ourselves.

Under the Maple

My beautiful Japanese maple is thriving in this glorious spring. When I was outside I saw the sunlight strike one of the buds creating a luminous ruby red. I ran back inside to get my camera.
My cousin got her hair cut at the Aveda Salon on King street and I must say she looks hot. lol. It just so happened that The Constant Shopper in the Toronto Star had an article on it. I must say it's one of the most environmentally and socially conscious hair salons out there by incorporating organic hair dyes, designing the space in order to accomodate both stylists and clientele and using bamboo flooring. And my cousin also said service was great, it only cost $30 (depending on how advanced of a stylist you want). They also gave a short consultation and how to maintain healthy hair.
Anyway they also straightened her wavy hair and recommended her to buy a ceramic hair straightener. Since her birthday is in September, I wanted to buy her one. So I looked on sephora.com to realize their ceramic hair straighteners range from $160 to $200. Schmucks. I don't have that money.
I was a little eager today and decided to set the table to figure out what to do for the 'centerpiece'. The only 'rules' I set for this time was to make it casual (haha which means minus the wine glasses... I want to put them in just to add some height.. must resist...) and less feminine (failed miserably again). I also didn't want to spend a lot of money so it struck me while biking with Tania at Mill Pond to use the leaves from our Japanese maple and dying flowers from our garden. Yeah so I spent probably an hour picking and arranging.... from placing the pieces and then standing back to see how it'd look. HAhaha.. sad sad. Sam had to stop by to borrow my cheesecake mold and asked if I had a pan that she could borrow. I had issues finding one and considered asking her into our kitchen to search but didn;t want her to see that I was already setting up the table like some loser. HAhaha... I crack myself up.
Anyway, it's all done for today. I made my tiramisu and curry fishballs today and will have to go to the grocery store again tomorrow morning and make the rest of the stuff by 7.
There's an earwig that has been living in my room for the past three days running around my room and I've been trying to outwait it until it either 1) crawls back to where it came from 2)dies of starvation 3) wanders to another room- preferably one that I don't go into much). If you don't know what an earwig looks like- google it up. It's the most hideous bug ever. And last night after I washed up, I switched on my bedroom light and saw this creepy thing crawling on my wall under my inspiration board. Omg.. I just wathced it crawl from one wall to another for a good fifteen minutes and finally down the wall where my bed is located. I wanted to kill it but didn't want its guts all over. I hate killing bugs. When I get tissue paper and press down on one, a cold, eery feeling runs through my veins and I imagine the bug being crushed and dying. Yech. That's why I like either spraying them with the shower head and watch them drown than rather having to make contact. Ugh., I am so scared now.. I keep looking around my room for signs of the earwig.. AHHHH.
I think I'm the only one who maintains a daily (or almost) blog. I guess no one else has the time or energy to keep one and I'm always checking people's blogs constantly to find an update but always am disappointed. When I see the same format of the same entry over and over again I get slightly annoyed at seeing the same entry up. lol. Nothing personal- I just want something to read. So I've taken matters upon my own hands and am reading either friends' of friends blogs or reading this random girl's fashion blog (she has the creativity rather than the nose to just follow what other people do. She lives in London and HK so she gives me news updates of HK.. now I want to go back.. booo I always want to go when I can't go and go when I don't really want to).
I'm hungry. It's 1:25am.
I wish summer would slow down. Take a seat, close your eyes and feel the sun on your face and take a sip of that ice cold lemonade.

I Love... LORD OF THE RINGS!

And it lives! Our not-so-private Raps crew blog breathes new life again.

My fingers smell like fennel.
Being cocky and all, I bought a cooking book from Costco and saw this pretty picture of 'salmon rosette on fennel and cream' and I thought "I want to make that!" It was really because the salmon was shaped in a flower and I just wanted to make something pretty. Anyway it was an expensive experiment but tasted a little bland. I should have added more salt. I'm not really good at cooking. :P Anyway the recipe required a three inch circular cookie cutter which I did not have- I had gingerbread men, bells, hearts, diamonds, stars, sleighs but no circle. Being the genius I am, I called upon my skills from making my paper shoe, got some tin foil, folded it several times to make it sturdy, and then cut a slit into one side and the other a flap, and I slotted them in together to create a circle. It was so genius! It worked perfectly. When I first showed my mom, she thought I used tape. Nuh uh. haha. I'm so proud of myself.


Anyway my journey through Middle Earth continues. I have now arrived at Minas Tirith where the great war is about to commence. Spoken like a true LOTR nerd. HAHAH. There are just so many great aspects about this movie. Ahh... There's just one part I don't like watching and it's the part where Frodo lures Smeagol in from the Forbidden Pool to save him from being shot which he misinterprets as being betrayed.
So, what I love about LOTR in a nutshell:
-you are always the hero of your own story but connected to a patchwork of others in the grand scheme of things. you are never a subcharacter. You can only be the hero of your own story. Ex. Although Frodo is the 'central character' and Sam the secondary, he undeniably plays a huge role in the war against Mordor.
-The music. End of story.
-Arwen's sacrifice- to leave behind her father and her kin and to give her place up on the ship to the Grey Havens and her immortal life in exchange for the hope of seeing Aragorn again. I love that scene where Elrond paints her a picture of her future- when she attends Aragorn's funeral and mourns until she dies of heartbreak. She is constantly full of hope and optimism.
-Faramir- being the second son, he tries to earn his father's love but is always returned with hate and disappointment. Aw... I felt so moved when I saw the third movie. Yet he did what Boromir could not- resist the ring of power. And just like Sam said, 'You (Faramir) have shown your quality. The finest.'
-I've noticed one of the central themes in LOTR is about hope and never letting go of it despite how dark it becomes. I think they must have said 'hope' a hundred times.
-Sam's speech at the end of The Two Towers about how that little bit of good in the world is still worth fighting for. It's very inspirational. I think I've copied it in here before. It encourages me too.
-Sam. Although he was a bit harsh to Smeagol, he has a pure heart. He may be a simpleton but he is loyal and true. I remember that line when he believes that Frodo is dead from the spider, Shelob, he says to him "Don't go where I cannot follow." awwwww.... I LOVE SAM (and sharing the same name is great too.)
-Aragorn: those who are humble, shall be exalted. He fears in taking upon the throne, he will fall into the same temptation that let to the downfall of his ancestor, Isoldor. But of course, in the end, he becomes what he was born to become.
-The humanity. LOTR is just beautiful because we are able to see their fears and their anguishes as they go on their journey to fight against the lidless eye. I think viewers are able to relate to the films because there is just so much mortality. You see them struggle- they had to fight to get there. They're multi-dimensional characters- we see Gimli and Legolas compete against each other to see who kills more orc- a humorous side of them, we see them love, laugh, fear and cry.
-The end scene where Aragorn the king bows down to the four hobbits and everyone bows too.. I LOVE THAT SCENE. The hobbits are like Jesus' disciples.
-The archery. Come on, don't tell me you didn't want to take archery after you saw Legolas and his ability to recycle arrows, shoot double arrows and ride a selfmade 'skateboard' down a staircase while shooting orcs? I love the part where Aragorn goes to Helms Deep after being thrown down a cliff (when everyone believes he is dead) and the first thing Legolas says is "You are late" and then "you look terrible." hahah.. He's always flawless, have you noticed that?
-"I will not risk open war" -King Theoden. "Open war is upon you whether you'd risk it or not" Aragorn. Hehehe.. get the spiritual connection?
-The props- I love Legolas's bow and the beautiful sets. Rivendell is breathtaking. When I first saw it, I wanted to live there. The mural of statues on my bedroom was was taken from Frodo's room in Rivendell- you can only see the statues in the background. I have examined that room thoroughly through photos. Lothlorien is beautiful too.
-The Two Towers Trailer. HAHAH... Requiem for a Dream soundtrack is in there.
-The environmental issues addressed in the Two Towers and how the Ents were angered by Saruman's iron industry. That's what happens if you cut down trees.
-Costumes of course are amazing. I want a pair of those steel 'gloves' that the Ringwraiths wear.
-The strength and valour of Eowyn in killing the Witch King "I am no man, I am woman"
-Like Maximus, every single person there know who they are and it is deeply set into their hearts.
-The struggle between good and evil within Gollum. He is more complex than your typical 'bad guy'- we are shown his history and his desire to be accepted despite what he has done in the past. Frodo was the only one who was able to break through and grasp onto what good that is left within Smeagol.
-The scene where the Steward of Gondor is eating in the most disgusting manner while his son is off to war- a lost cause. Reminds me of King David and Bathsheba in some indirect way and Pippin sings a beautifully sad song.
-"All you have to decide is what to do with the time that was given to you." Gandalf
-Compassion and pity- pity saved Smeagol who then destroyed the ring when Frodo could not (though not intentionally). When the eagles flew to rescue Frodo and Sam after they destroyed the ring, three eagles came- one for frodo, one for sam and one for... dun dun dun.. GOLLUM! But he was killed.
-The farewell scene when Frodo leaves on the ships with the Elves. I teared in that one.. aw.. it was so sad...

The Feeling of Suppression

Why am I always so disgusted with myself.
No, I'm not talking about physical appearance.
The irony is is that I really like talking about clothes but those who read don't give a darn.
I went to my eye doctor today and he asked me how long I had my contact off and I said "two weeks minus one day". He said I was so precise and said that my mom said I was bad at math and asked how many days were in two weeks "14" and what was "14-1". I was deciding whether or not to just stare at him or to laugh . I replied "13". Duh. That was getting really pathetic. I don't suck at math to the point I can't remember how to add and subtract. I am just relatively slow to all those Chinese kumon kids out there. And when I'm out with other kids at a restaurant or somewhere tabulating bills, I need to either physically write the numbers down or allow myself a minute or two to calculate tax and tip. My eye doctor said I could "use my fingers to count if I wanted to". Sheesh.
Maybe I'm too sensitive. I am very sensitive to people's choice in diction and if they use a word that has a negative connotation to it, I get either offended, sad, disappointed, angry or confused. Too much gr 12 english for me right there.
Well anyway, I have to wear my glasses for another two weeks because my cornea has turned an odd shape. MY right eye did not pass the driving test but my left did so I can still drive. Yergh.. my eyes are so messed up right now. I'm getting used to the glasses though appearance wise. I'd rather sacrifice another two weeks and get a more accurate prescription than getting my contacts in two days and have it be imprecise.
Last Tuesday I went to the gym in my grandma's apartment and she spoke to this old woman who also swam at around the same time. I decided to do the treadmill because I dislike going back and forth in a pool unless I have something to think about. When we were getting changed after showers, the lady spoke to my mom and asked why I didn't swim. She replied that it was because I was lazy (chinese parents). And then the woman said at least I was doing some form of exercise. She then continued to tell us she had only two sons and that she wished she had a daughter so she could talk to her and to have a friend. Auntie Fenny, my mom's friend from Vancouver also told me that- that my mom was lucky to have one boy and one girl. That my mom was lucky to be able to go shopping with me and go to out to different places. And all I could think was "that's right mother, be grateful."
Today my mom and I went to the Forrest Hill area in search of a teapot for Vanessa's belated birthday gift. Found nothing. I love that area with all it's unique little shops and cafes. My favourite: the french bakery there called 'Cafe Cigogne'. They have the most luxurious little cakes. I had some coconut and dark chocolate one. mmmm. We got some eclairs, chocolate croissants, chocolate cake to take home and the lady noted to my mom that we must all really like our chocolate. hahha..
Anyway, I was talking to my mom about the year before when I had just decided to go to Parsons. You know what? Everyone (meaning my mother's friends and family) was against me leaving Toronto. My grandmother kept saying it was so far away and asked what was wrong with Ryerson... you know what guy told me? He told me that New York is physically big- that I'd get physically lost- not only that but soulfully lost. Thanks, thank, thanks. My mom said "come to think of it, everyone was against it except Auntie Julie." Auntie Julie is my mom's best friend who lives in HK. She said it would be a great opportunity and that she could help me get my clothes made in China (though my intentions would be to get them done out of eco fabrics and non sweatshop labour).
Guess what today is (june 12)? Officially one month since my birthday and since my holiday started. Ai yah.
So my aunt is now putting a little pressure on me to go to Urbana this December. I read the email and they listed a few questions and if you said 'yes' to any of them, the event was supposed to be perfect for you. One of the questions was : Are you searching for a direction in life? I cracked up because, really, who isn't??? I can get really irrational and cynical. I don't really care to answer questions like the "meaning of life" in some philosophical, theoretical term. Waste of my time.
I think our CD team is way too big right now. Only two weeks left.


I remember when Tania used to come to my house on those rare occasions back in high school, I'd clear my bedroom of any trace of a fashion magazine, picture of clothes, or anything materialistic. I'd sweep them all under the bed or cover them with some rather 'intelligent' book. I don't care if she sees them anymore but why do I always feel the need to appear more than someone who cares beyond the aesthetic? Then I love my magazines. Yet I feel almost bound to some 'Christian duty' to show some depth and less love for materialism. And yet I still like to hide the things I'm interested in. In this, I feel stretched like a thin, translucent sheet of rubber- torn between my interests and my ability to reveal something deeper than fabrics that sit on skin/ desire for people to understand that there is something more. I realize I am not that open in person, but it's because I feel insecure and vulnerable. I don't put down any opinions in cd team (I love chants actually. To me they sound ethereal and holy. Done well, they sound beautiful. At least the ones in LOTR are and a few I've heard here and there.... wait.. what's a chant. Okay I am right, yes I love how controlled and monotous they are.. and I don't really 'care' if we sing the doxology or not. I don't know why we got so into that. Maybe someone can enlighten me).
Then again I think perhaps all that I said before was some demon inside of me telling me that people believe that I'm just a surface type of person without depth. I don't know. All I know is that I'm not whole right now. I'm still trying to find a harmony. But it feels good to let it all out. I love clothes. No I don't spend hours in front of the mirror. Yes I've spent $350 on a purse (it was a gift from mom's best friend). No I'm not high maintenance (then again it's all relative but you have to give me credit for living in a room with three girls. How can I be high maintenance??). No I don't spend tons of money on clothes (but probably a lot more than you do. But I'm in love with my Value Village and Winners). I love my summer dresses and yes I rarely wear 'casual clothes' (according to my mom) so technically these are my everyday clothes. I only wear one t shirt and it's not the typical cut(and again my mom questioned me why today). And above all, I'm not trying to be pretentious. I know among the Raps crew or at church teens they're always in jeans, tanks or those really slouchy wide pants. I'm just not like that. and now I think I'm overanalyzing.
Okay, I've said it all for today. I want to apologize but I don't know what I'd be apologizing for. I'm feeling kind of stupid right now.

Passion vs Talent

The greatest compliment I got today for my mascarpone cream tarts was from Steve: I don't like chocolate or cheese but this is amazing!
My mom asked how I divided the tarts up. I didn't: girls like to be all dainty so they take the bite sized ones so they're not messy. Guys take the big ones. haha.
Omg I had the greatest grilled salmon today on the house at J Grill. The sushi chef who used to own our old favourite restaurant is now working under another guy so we regularly visit him and eat yummy sushi. :)
Anyway people always ask me why I don't go into the culinary arts since I always make tiramisus, tarts, cakes, cookies and brownies. People also ask me why I don't go into photography. I think in both these cases there is a difference between passion and talent. Am I talented in baking? No. I just follow the recipe- like chemistry. I just like doing it. Am I talented in photography? Not really. I just apply my fine art concepts to it and how I like to see things (up and close). I just enjoy taking photos (like today I whipped out my real camera for the group photo... er does anyone want me to send them the picture? I don't even know him). For these things... I guess actually talent is made up of both natural skills as well as being educated in it some way be it through school or some other educational institution. I love photography because it doesn't require much meticulous preparation and time to create a photo (as opposed to painting on canvas). Kind of like a quick dose of beauty. Disposable beauty. When I get tired of the picture, I take another. Then again the most stunning photos are indisposable- timeless. Haha.. That's why I don't think I have a talent for it. Perhaps if I did study photography and got better in it, I could consider becoming a photographer. As for baking, I always joked that if I wasn't cut for design, I'd open up my own chocolaterie or patisserie cafe. But mixing business and mass production into baking itself is a whole new different world. I just like making things for people. How about that. So I guess those two could be potentially fleshed out so that they really are my talents but for now, they're more for experimentation and to feed this passion I have in serving others via the stomach and finding beauty within our everyday lives.

Match Point

I pray that this passion doesn't become an obsession. Walking the fine line.


I had a dream last night that my friend and I were getting revenge on this annoying guy and we went into his bedroom and ransacked it and through the whole thing I was scared that we'd get walked on.


So today I got to chill with Sarah F, Vanessa and Soph and we rented Matchpoint with John Rhys Meyers and Scarlett Johansson. Not many people have heard about it surprisingly. It's directed by Woody Allen. Anyway it's about an affair Rhys Meyers's character has with Scarlett Johansson. Your typical love triangle story? No not quite. It's really good actually. It's deals with issues concerning luck and how it plays within our lives. Most people say the wealthy and the famous did it all through hard work yet cannot admit much of it is due to luck. I would like to say what happens in the end but I don't want to ruin it for others. He gets away with something- yes from pure luck- yet one questions whether or not he truly was lucky. In a sense he was able to keep his physical freedom but is imprisoned by past memories and of his own actions within the mind. However the script was kind of weird and static. They'd have all these pick up lines which sounded kind of lame. If you play tennis or know how tennis works in a very simplistic form, it becomes more interesting too.
The picture above is of Rhys-Meyers. We all loved his open trench coat with the chocolate brown sweater and black pants. So I basically did my usual thing and paused the dvd and took a picture of it. LOL.


AHHHHHHHH!!!! My friend Soph told me that the main theme song from Requiem for a Dream (my love) was used in the Lord of the Rings Two Towers trailer. I found it on yahoo- it's on the longer version: Trailer 1. And it's true! All my favourite movies are borrowing from one another. Aw I'm so proud of them. I've watched the trailer four times already. I shall really watch the films tomorrow and remember why I was captivated by these movies in the first place. Click to see:
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1804738128/trailer
I love all the characters.. Tolkien is pure genius. I had troubles reading the books because they're really flowery and in language that I'm not really accustomed to reading (style wise).


hm. Reading an interesting fashion (don't judge) forum made up of girls ranging 12-20 something: specifically a thread pertaining to Ethiopia, hunger and how people here can afford to buy $5000 bags and not feel guilty or don't donate money. More later.

Zip-ah-dee-do-da!

My fingernails smell like espresso.



Yesterday my parents and I were running some errands and going to Costco and we spoke about traveling and how next year or the year after, the UN crew could travel alone to Japan (stopover), Hong Kong, and the Philippines. Every time I start talking about Japan, Hong Kong or Shanghai (my interest in that area has peaked recently), I get really giddy. In Japan I wanted to sleep in the traditional houses with tatami mats and spend most of my time in Kyoto where the temples, teahouses and gardens are. I think Julia would prefer Tokyo with its city culture and cosmopolitan lifestyle (she also has this idea that Japanese people love tall blonde girls).
Most Asians I know (whitewashed/westernized) look down upon Chinese/Korean/Japanese traditions, culture and art. My roomie hates asian art but loves Rococco (french) and anything with lace, bows, flounces, Star Warsy (ie capes, cloaks). I think the whole idea of Paris being the city of romance is way overdone. I'm quite tired of seeing a picture of the Eiffel tower or some Parisian cobblestone street with Art Nouveau scripted restaurant signes and Americans injecting random French words like 'tres' or 'bonjour' or 'ma cherie' into their english: it just sounds contrived.
So I'm trying to embrace the other point of view where paintings are very flat and lack depth (compare the mona lisa to any chinese painting), calligraphy with its fluidity and expression (I find Chinese characters translated by the computer are so rigid and sterile. I enjoy looking at brushstrokes and movement and not being confined within a rectangle), everything is set low onto the ground (traditional japanese furniture vs western: high vs low), Japanese shamisen music (fluid, harmonious Western music vs. static, dissonant Asian music: instrumental that is) and slow moving, symbolic Chinese films with pretty cinematography and interesting angles.
Okay so I'm embracing more of the traditional art and culture side of Asian society but all those things from interior design to fashion to music to films have a large influence on me.
I don't understand why Chinese Americans dislike Chinese art- I think it's more because they've been used to looking at European art and Baroque art that when they look at Chinese art- it appears bland and different in an unsettling way. I always find the whitewashed Asians to be quite narrow minded in thinking that Western things are far superior than those of the East. It would be interesting if magazines featured more things in the East or shot their editorials in Guilin, China. No more Italy please.


How are you supposed to react when you find out someone you used to hang out with no longer wants to hang out with the same mutual group of friends anymore? I first felt surprise, confusion and then anger which turned to resentment and at the same time understanding and slightly guilty. To make things a little more odd- I see her at church and probably will later on. But perhaps it's because I don't know her side of the story. It's hard not to judge people.


I discovered a PHD is much like my 3D design class (though very miniscule)- you do self research, come up with a thesis, do tests and labs and write a freaking long essay. in 3D we had to come up with an object that no one else had done before, do research, create prototypes and actually make it- more project based than writing but the same principles are applied but as I said before on a miniscule scale (I don't want to get bashed by all those scholarly friends of mine out there ;)).


I like watching my brother play X Box. It's kind of fun. He's playing this roleplaying game called 'Oblivion' which is kind of like Lara Croft in how you problem solve, search and talk to people to finish quests etc. He's good at the fighting and such and I'm good at spotting things most people don't notice (I suggested he steal this evil book within a cult for fun and the cult he was pretending to be under tried to kill him... hahhaha I also got him out of the cult cave when I spotted a wooden lever in the dark cave to open this stone wall... see my eye for interiors allowed his character to escape! LOL). I know it sounds bizarre. I like the 'problem solving' in those games.


Today at our family gathering, I gave the adults a mini 'slide presentation' of Robyn's pre prom pictures so her parents could see what they missed out on. The ones I manipulated, altered and photoshopped were a huge hit in the family- something I was quite surprised by. They were all rather impressed by how I enhanced the photos by fading things out and changing colours and adding titles and adding curls and brushes or just adding a mere reflection of the main image- something so simple in the eyes of a professional graphic designer yet they would never have conceived in their minds. They really loved the outdoor photos though and said I should consider wedding photography or something. Hm I will keep that in mind. I also showed them a few landscape pictures I took in Hong Kong which I got many compliments for. Nothing makes me happier than for my work to be appreciated.


I realized that all I talk about really is not backed up by any hard evidence or facts. Everything is all that I feel and think. When I copied stuff from the newspaper in my previous entry, I was like "wow I have some solid proof!". hahah... Not a very Sam thing to do. My entries may be essay-style but minus all the facts and works cited and citations etc. Those annoy me.

Newspapers and Nightmares

Nightmares
For the past week I've had several nightmares. Last night I dreamed that I was sitting in my car and watched a dog being shot at many times- it's side had a bullet wound and the owner repeatedly shot at it as it desperately ran along the sidewalk for cover.
The night before I dreamt that my family and I were in some LOTR-esque world (mordor area that is) and my mom was walking in the front, my brother in between and my dad behind. I for some reason, was standing from a distance watching them climb this rocky slope. My brother suddenly pulls out a cigarette and smokes it- my parents for some odd reason, don't see it. I later confront him and find out he's a meth addict too. It sounds really funny but it wasn't. And then I saw Tania who changed into some punk kid with black and white stripey shirts and some weird short pouff of a haircut- she also started smoking and hanging out with other kids. I think that dream circled around the idea of self-destruction.


Reading the Newspaper
Now I must admit I don't read the main section of the paper when we get it (we receive both Globe and Mail and the Toronto Star)- news travels so fast that I can hardly catch up... so I just don't read it unless it's something that attracts my eye. I more into the Life, Focus, City sections which hit close to home. I know I should know what's going on in the world- like I barely know what's going on in Iraq except that there are a ton of bombings and the deaths of innocent civilians. Well today I was reading about same sex parents and how they 'conceive' and it makes me even more convinced that this whole thing is biologically wrong. Even same sex couples admit it in some distant way that something is off: they post up 'wanted' ads for a co-parent to their child. One lesbian couple said that they think having a dad in the life of their future child would be healthy. So they know inside them, that it isn't healthy for two females to raise a kid and that some male model must influence the child. Some gay couples want to find a lesbian couple so that they could have children. That is so messed up.

Anyway I was reading another article in the Weekend Review on visual arts. I myself dislike art collectors because most 'art collectors' are businessmen who don't know how to appreciate art- they just know it'll be worth a lot in a decade or so. Art collectors are also scouting young talent within art universities trying to predict who would be the next Jackson Pollock or Andy Warhol. And where do these beautiful pieces of work go to? Their homes- unappreciated until some Christy auction is held and their work is appraised for tens of thousands more than they purchased it for. And who buys it? Casino 'art collectors' and more businessmen. They don't know what art is worth- they only know what it's dollar value is. They only perceive art as a price tag ready to be sold to the next highest bidder.
"When it comes to buying art, most people are autograph collectors. It takes a lot of confidence and faith in your own eye to buy something when you don't know who made it." -Ellis, Buy low. Sell Haida, Toronto Star
Then the work sits in some grand hallway framed in bullet proof glass, pristinely being admired by- no one. Doesn't this remind you of Toy Story 2 when Woody gets stolen by a lard-like toy collector who wants to ship him to Japan for a million bucks and Buzz Lightyear goes to save him? And he has the choice to either be admired behind glass walls or to be loved by an owner. Same thing.
This is not a 20th century thing. Since 1774 when the Spanish captain Juan Perez sailed north to the Queen Charlotte islands, they greedily exchanged their own wares for the native's artwork knowing that it would fetch much money once they returned back to Spain. In one incident, the chief exchanged a ceremonial blaneket in exchange for a mere red Spaniard cap and Martinez, Perez's second in command said "It is most elegant for having been made by a people without culture." (taken from newspaper article).
It's disgusting. Art has become just another commodity- another way for businessmen to make big money.

Part One: To Dine For: Enriching the Senses

What I'd like to learn one day:
Fencing (I know- very random)
Shamisen (The dissonant Japanese instrument that's a distant relative to the guitar. I really love the sound of it- very sterile and short compared to fluid western music. Hm.. I should buy some shamisen music on Itunes.... hahaha. Not your typical teenage music. :P)
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I'm quite excited about this dinner gathering/party I'm hosting with Sam at my house for a few RHCBers (seven to eight guests to be exact) on Thursday evening next week. It's quite pathetic. There's something ingrained in me- this love for hosting parties/events. I once considered doing event planning but figured there really wasn't a college that would hold such degrees or courses (Parsons does for Design and Management kids- my roomie is going into event planning... I bought her a book on it for Christmas as a Secret Santa present and I flipped through it- there is so much stuff to consider from caterers to parking to how guests get around to budgeting etc. That's multitasking at its finest). I love planning these kinds of things- something I know many people dislike because they take much time, care and planning. But to see the end result and to watch your guests having fun seems worth all the effort.
I think this interest of mine sparked when several years ago I purchased this book via media recommendation called 'Be My Guest'- a hardcover book of 168 glorious pages of the most elaborate, expensive themed parties held by Chanel to rich New Yorkers to Oscar de la Renta to close friends. Of course I can't recreate such lavish parties but it just sparked and ignited my imagination which then prompted me to hold intimate parties with my friends. From gr 10-12 we held a Murder Mystery party with the help of those store-bought packages (I was the murderer as so we discovered towards the end of the game) to a 'French' Diner de Tetes (much like a masquerade but all focus goes to the head- I included cheap masks in my invites that were shaped like a side profile of a head: image on the right) to a Hollywood Affair (invites included paper doll avec les robes) to Afternoon Tea with Robyn and my aunt (I remember trying to find the three tier plate but no one sold them) Christmas Potlucks to Valentine's Day Girl Gathering (I created cupcakes iced with sayings like 'XOXO' and 'Eat Me' a la Alice in Wonderland) to a Summer Graduation Fete (dessert only haha) to a Raps Crew gathering (image on the right: invite was made out of plastic measuring cups which I filled with some baked goods and the paper invite itself was a cookie shape. The name tag was a cut-out piece of paper with a fortune cookie and the guest's name printed on it). Oh yes and my birthday last year- since it would be the last for my high school friends and we'd go on our seperate ways, I decided to do a scrapbooking party to remember our four years together. Invites consisted of different scrapbooking materials such as paper and ribbon and each guest was given a scrapbook upon arrival. Anyway I used the Masquerade theme once over last Christmas with another AY party- and one of my creative fob friends made a Chinese Opera mask- it's so great! check it out: image on the right. It was made out of a paper plate and construction paper. Genius! But now I'm really sick of the Masquerade theme. They've all been quite fun though they resembled nothing like the ones in the book but we all had our fill of laughs, food and fun.
So when I got the opportunity to do the decorations for RHCBC's Masquerade, I immediately jumped on. I had a grand sum of $250 to spend on whatever I wished (I stretched it a bit- they initially only wanted to allot $150. I told them: are you kidding me, I need more for so many tables). Borrowing from the ideas from the 'Diner de Tetes' (image on the left) using styrofoam mannequin heads and making crazy art pieces from them. Because I already once used this idea for a dinner party I held in gr 10, I knew where to buy the heads ($6 ea.) and I went with my parents to the party store and came home with about twenty five heads in huge cardboard boxes. I must admit it looked really creepy when it was dark- all you could see were forms of heads sitting and staring at you. Anyway, I couldn't afford to replicate the heads they did for the party that was suggested in the book (included glitter covered heads and huge ostrich feathers in indigo blue) so wire, candy canes, masks (the same ones I used for my own invites) and christmas paraphernelia to decorate the white heads. The tricky part was first storing them- I had a Christmas party that year with my Art friends and had issues with hiding them to prevent them from being knocked over. Secondly- the hardest- was to create a stand that would hold the heads up. In the book the heads were placed on iron rods that rose four feet off the table to create drama. I ended up using chopsticks and stuffing the heads with tissues paper to keep the stick in. The base was made out of dollar store tupperware filled with gravel and wrapped in tissue paper. Those things pissed the heck out of me because they kept wobbling (Now looking back I should have just used wrapped boxes that are tall and narrow). Carting them to the church was quite an ordeal- and taking them in. But all my work with the stands went to waste when Karen started planting seeds of doubt in me- telling me that they'd topple over and catch fire because of the small tealights. I have to learn to be more assertive. Anyway, we ended up taking the heads of their bases- they weren't as dramatic then but oh well. I couldn't afford to do heads for every table so the side tables had gold plastic plates with dollar store candles of varying heights (three makes a wonderful number) and pinecones I had purchased and blotted with gold. Also the existing tablecloths that the church had were all different colours (-_-) so I ended up getting more silver I think and sprinkled iridescent confetti over the table. I think the only minor glitch that happened that evening was when the back christmas lights fell and me and karen had to try and rescue them while the play was going on (the play was amazing- I loved the spotlighting which enhanced the characters and all the props- thanks to Robyn). Too bad I didnt' take pictures of the sanctuary when it was all finished.. Stupid. I don't even remember why I didn't take pictures- I took 'before' shots but never took any 'after' pictures. :S I think it has been the most lavish RHCBC Christmas dinner I have ever seen at the church. I remember being shown the comment/question surveys at the end and the decor got a full ten stars. That made me really happy. This year, I was just looking at someone's pictures from the previous dinner and felt kind of depressed: blue tablecloths with a single tealight in the centre and the same Christmas lights hung on the walls.
So the ultimate question: why go through so much of the trouble, money spending and pains to create invitations, decorations etc? I mean the Christmas dinner should not be focused on decor anyway: it should be focused on outreach through a skit or music or a sermon or the personal testiomnies. Decor should be a secondary factor.
Firstly, when an invitation is well made be it a piece of paper or three dimensional, it has the seductive powers to lure guests to RSVP with a 'yes'. It can set the tone/mood of the party and becomes the motivating factor for guests to go over the top and participate fully in all their regalia or whatnot if it's a themed party. It's the equivalent to a teaser trailer for a movie and offers inspiration and excitement for the recipient.
As for the decor- it adds to the mood and heightens the senses. When a guest walks in it's like 'bam'- he or she is confronted by an explosion of glitzy heads, jewel-toned masks, swirls of feathers and metal, gleaming confetti and candlelight. The Christmas Masquerade decor basically summarized the theme of the evening in a glance: pretense and facades and echoed the beautifully painted masks that the actors wore. What does the guest see first? The skit or the room? The decor of course! If that goes well then you have a great start to the evening. Though you may not be a visual person, the decoration became the building blocks for the climax which was assumingly the play itself. It adds excitement- dramatizing the overall evening (the reason why I wanted to keep the bases rather than on the table: exaggerate the height of the heads allows the centerpieces to command a sort of presence.. When the heads are just placed on the tables, it lessens the effect). And since Auntie Jo wanted 'theatre', I gave her 'theatre'. Theatres are not for the borish and certainly not created to just blend in. They're created to heighten the senses of the viewers, to accompany the themes of the play/musical/skit. Have you seen the Parisian Opera House that was also featured in the film 'Phantom of the Opera? Its lavishness and over-the-top architecture and interiors- those principles are basically applied here. The centrepieces brought the entire room together, tying it nicely like a great essay- creating an intimate space in a large bland gym. People come to see a show, to eat and to mingle with friends. It's supposed to be an evening of relaxation and partying and not some conventional, cautious piece of 'blah'.
There is one thing I propose to RHCBC in terms of christmas decor if they'd prefer to skimp on the visuals: BUY REUSABLE ITEMS. The sad thing about the Christmas dinner I did was the fact that we never got to do a group review to run through the glitches of the evening and how we could improve them. All RHCBC has to do is buy plastic gold plates from the dollar store (about $3 each) and dress them up differently each year. You can stick candles like I did or place a centerpiece on top or place a few pinecones or tealights and a dust of confetti. It's simple, cheap, easy and environmentally friendly (not to mention, save a few plastic tablecloths from sticky wax). It's also more visually pleasing than just tealights sitting on plastic. It may cost a little more but it's more worthwhile.
It's not an artistic snobbery- far from that- but the reason why I go to such great lengths to dress up a room when having a party. When you see something dressed up beautifully- don't you go 'wow'? If a woman can seduce a man in a strapless evening gown, can a beautifully embellished room not captivate an audience? Even so for the non-artists, it subconsciously adds something more to an evening. It creates something for people to remember and to show others that Christians aren't bland, boring and serious- we can do things with colour, drama and flair. Admit it, if you brought your nonchristian friends, you'd want to impress them and for them to be impressed. If not, you could bring them to sit in a rather boring sermon... haha. And I've been to one too many. We can show non christians how to have a dazzingly good time and that we can be flamboyant and over-the-top. We're not as conservative and dullish as you may think. We can give them a night to remember.