Fluidity: as the river flows
My back is aching... ugh. I love entertaining people but I despise the cleaning up. My spine feels sore. When I was washing dishes I felt this pain whenever I breathed in. Ugh. I get that at the most random times so I have to take short quick breaths. So ma fan. I just watch my mom sometimes cooking and cleaning and it depresses me. I know she's doing it for us but I dont want to be cleaning and cooking day after day... ew. Tania's dad does the cooking in the family. haha... It's definitely a useful skill but it becomes a chore- a routine.
I enjoy baking because I personally find it more beautiful than cooking. I like watching the dark richness of the chocolate mix in with the white creamy mixture of the sugar and butter- marbelize and then watch as the dark slowly overtakes the pale. I like watching chocolate in its liquid form, fall in a thin ribbon and lie luxuriously on the cake below. It then hardens with a glossy sheen to it- a shell. I like watching the brownies slowly rise and form a light, airy 'crust' on top. I like watching the pail of fluffy whipped cream fall into generous dollops on top of the mascarpone and egg mixture. I like whipping the whipping cream from its very beginnings of looseness and liquidity to clouds with peaks and shape as the whisks leave a trail of spirals on the smooth surface- a pattern of curlicues and brushstrokes.
But anyway, I got to know some people better today especially Grace who I haven't really gotten to know. I think I had some preconceptions about her judging by what I see at church but she really proved me 'wrong' today. She's really nice, helpful, polite, funny and sweet. I also got to know a little bit of Alex that I never knew before. After half of them left while me and Sam were cleaning, he suddenly told us how much he hated his sister's purse and that he liked "Gucci designs, and some Coach" and disliked Nine West and Guess but loved Grace's bag. Lol. Something totally unexpected. And then told me that his goal for this summer is...... to get a six pack. LOL. He cracks me up. A lot of guys really annoy me- just their whole attitude of trying to be cool and whatnot. Today I was driving back from buying groceries for dinner and a motorcyclist (obviously a hipster/jock type judging by canary yellow wifebeater tank with a white underneath and sunglasses) kept looking into my rear view mirror. I take it since I could see him, he could see me. Anyway he decides to be all cool and zoom past my car, looked back to see that my car was still present and proceeded to sway his body back and forth to make the bike go from left to right in an S-curve on a slant. However when he was doing his fancy manuveurs, his movements reminded me of that of a woman- the swaying of the hips. LOL. I cannot stand their egos. Just like the other day when Tania and I went biking to Mill Pond and there were three guys I guess gr 11.. there was a kid and his dad ahead of us and stopped to let the guys go first. The first guy says "I'm sexy" to all of us.. I wanted to say "that's one person's opinion." I don't understand why they find that kind of 'assertiveness' attractive. I find it rather pretentious, revealing an insecurity within them as if they were trying to prove that they're 'hot stuff'. For me I think humility and honesty are the traits of a real guy. Is this a feminine view? No. I'm not saying that a humble, honest man has to be a wuss, but I think those are the most pure and true from the lot of sheep.
So for Friday. I first have to vacuum and mop the floors and learn how to clean the bathroom (ugh). So tomorrow I guess will be another post-party clean up.
And then I'm going to Winners. Ha.
I don't want a job this summer partially because I don't want to work and I also have a fear of being rejected because I have little experience. But one of the greater reasons is that I believe if I have to pay $42k to go to a fashion school, that Parsons should supply me with connections. Why should I be stuck in some crummy retail job that any teenager here can get when I could be getting an internship at some fashion house? Yeah, that's the stuck up side of me, but it's true. Then again I have considered working at Value Village and Winners because they're so close to me AND I really like those stores- not the typical Aritzia/teenybopper crap you see at all the malls. Haha. Plus I don't like the salespeople at all those stores. However I doubt the pay is good at Winners/Value Village- especially the latter since it's secondhand stuff. Whatever. If I lived downtown, I'd want to work for some vintage/ independent store. Those are the more interesting of the lot where you get customers who are more interested in clothes rather than logos. Last week the Toronto Star had a huge article written by some woman who went to every Winners downtown to see where all the good merch was. So now I'm going to take a trip to the one on College which I have passed by twice already and another around the Bloor area.
Oh right. And there's Salt tomorrow. The reason why I've been avoiding it, is because I'm intimidated. I think it's because I don't know the crowd and feel a little lost. I dont like that period of floundering- waiting for a person I recognize (hopefully) before the session starts. I have no idea what to do with myself and feel a little awkward. But I guess I'll give it a shot tomorrow.
Anyway, Saturday I'll get to spend a little time with Grace, my cousin, in the late afternoon... she's interested in Requiem for a Dream so I'm gonna test drive it on her. There are people you know that would like this kind of film (like soph or vanessa.. not so much julia) and those who would think it's the sickest story ever and who would probably think that you have some really twisted mind for loving such a movie(if you can take gore, don't watch this film. It's not 'gory' per se but you see the guy stick a heroine needle in an already infected wound. yummy).
She's also coming to borrow a dress for church- something, as she said, "something not pretentious and too fancy". Okay. "Something modest enough for church." Gotcha. I like it when people borrow clothes- it makes me feel that they're being used more (plus it also means that they like what I wear. lol) and it's interesting to see it on another body.
I really love the female anatomy. I know it sounds really gay but I love it. Men? Meh not so much but perhaps it's because it's unfamiliar territory for me. A curve I really like in women is the back- more specifically, the small of the back where the spine curls in and back out. I just love the fluidity and the 'swooping' effect. In life drawing we have been taught to first draw an exaggerated line of the model's spine and then build form around it. The primary goal in gesture drawing which lasts from 10 seconds to about 30 seconds, is to basically to capture the movement and pose of the model. It has less to do with anatomy than it is with the fluidity and the strength of the charcoal/conte/pencil on paper and how well you've captured the gesture itself. The most beautiful ones are those that are simple- where only a few lines represent a part of the body. We exaggerate the spine because when we draw, we tend to make the pose stiffer so to counterbalance that we dramatize the spinal cord to correct ourselves.
I enjoy baking because I personally find it more beautiful than cooking. I like watching the dark richness of the chocolate mix in with the white creamy mixture of the sugar and butter- marbelize and then watch as the dark slowly overtakes the pale. I like watching chocolate in its liquid form, fall in a thin ribbon and lie luxuriously on the cake below. It then hardens with a glossy sheen to it- a shell. I like watching the brownies slowly rise and form a light, airy 'crust' on top. I like watching the pail of fluffy whipped cream fall into generous dollops on top of the mascarpone and egg mixture. I like whipping the whipping cream from its very beginnings of looseness and liquidity to clouds with peaks and shape as the whisks leave a trail of spirals on the smooth surface- a pattern of curlicues and brushstrokes.
But anyway, I got to know some people better today especially Grace who I haven't really gotten to know. I think I had some preconceptions about her judging by what I see at church but she really proved me 'wrong' today. She's really nice, helpful, polite, funny and sweet. I also got to know a little bit of Alex that I never knew before. After half of them left while me and Sam were cleaning, he suddenly told us how much he hated his sister's purse and that he liked "Gucci designs, and some Coach" and disliked Nine West and Guess but loved Grace's bag. Lol. Something totally unexpected. And then told me that his goal for this summer is...... to get a six pack. LOL. He cracks me up. A lot of guys really annoy me- just their whole attitude of trying to be cool and whatnot. Today I was driving back from buying groceries for dinner and a motorcyclist (obviously a hipster/jock type judging by canary yellow wifebeater tank with a white underneath and sunglasses) kept looking into my rear view mirror. I take it since I could see him, he could see me. Anyway he decides to be all cool and zoom past my car, looked back to see that my car was still present and proceeded to sway his body back and forth to make the bike go from left to right in an S-curve on a slant. However when he was doing his fancy manuveurs, his movements reminded me of that of a woman- the swaying of the hips. LOL. I cannot stand their egos. Just like the other day when Tania and I went biking to Mill Pond and there were three guys I guess gr 11.. there was a kid and his dad ahead of us and stopped to let the guys go first. The first guy says "I'm sexy" to all of us.. I wanted to say "that's one person's opinion." I don't understand why they find that kind of 'assertiveness' attractive. I find it rather pretentious, revealing an insecurity within them as if they were trying to prove that they're 'hot stuff'. For me I think humility and honesty are the traits of a real guy. Is this a feminine view? No. I'm not saying that a humble, honest man has to be a wuss, but I think those are the most pure and true from the lot of sheep.
So for Friday. I first have to vacuum and mop the floors and learn how to clean the bathroom (ugh). So tomorrow I guess will be another post-party clean up.
And then I'm going to Winners. Ha.
I don't want a job this summer partially because I don't want to work and I also have a fear of being rejected because I have little experience. But one of the greater reasons is that I believe if I have to pay $42k to go to a fashion school, that Parsons should supply me with connections. Why should I be stuck in some crummy retail job that any teenager here can get when I could be getting an internship at some fashion house? Yeah, that's the stuck up side of me, but it's true. Then again I have considered working at Value Village and Winners because they're so close to me AND I really like those stores- not the typical Aritzia/teenybopper crap you see at all the malls. Haha. Plus I don't like the salespeople at all those stores. However I doubt the pay is good at Winners/Value Village- especially the latter since it's secondhand stuff. Whatever. If I lived downtown, I'd want to work for some vintage/ independent store. Those are the more interesting of the lot where you get customers who are more interested in clothes rather than logos. Last week the Toronto Star had a huge article written by some woman who went to every Winners downtown to see where all the good merch was. So now I'm going to take a trip to the one on College which I have passed by twice already and another around the Bloor area.
Oh right. And there's Salt tomorrow. The reason why I've been avoiding it, is because I'm intimidated. I think it's because I don't know the crowd and feel a little lost. I dont like that period of floundering- waiting for a person I recognize (hopefully) before the session starts. I have no idea what to do with myself and feel a little awkward. But I guess I'll give it a shot tomorrow.
Anyway, Saturday I'll get to spend a little time with Grace, my cousin, in the late afternoon... she's interested in Requiem for a Dream so I'm gonna test drive it on her. There are people you know that would like this kind of film (like soph or vanessa.. not so much julia) and those who would think it's the sickest story ever and who would probably think that you have some really twisted mind for loving such a movie(if you can take gore, don't watch this film. It's not 'gory' per se but you see the guy stick a heroine needle in an already infected wound. yummy).
She's also coming to borrow a dress for church- something, as she said, "something not pretentious and too fancy". Okay. "Something modest enough for church." Gotcha. I like it when people borrow clothes- it makes me feel that they're being used more (plus it also means that they like what I wear. lol) and it's interesting to see it on another body.
I really love the female anatomy. I know it sounds really gay but I love it. Men? Meh not so much but perhaps it's because it's unfamiliar territory for me. A curve I really like in women is the back- more specifically, the small of the back where the spine curls in and back out. I just love the fluidity and the 'swooping' effect. In life drawing we have been taught to first draw an exaggerated line of the model's spine and then build form around it. The primary goal in gesture drawing which lasts from 10 seconds to about 30 seconds, is to basically to capture the movement and pose of the model. It has less to do with anatomy than it is with the fluidity and the strength of the charcoal/conte/pencil on paper and how well you've captured the gesture itself. The most beautiful ones are those that are simple- where only a few lines represent a part of the body. We exaggerate the spine because when we draw, we tend to make the pose stiffer so to counterbalance that we dramatize the spinal cord to correct ourselves.
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