Turning Point: Hope for the Weary

Hello, hello.

I just came here to say that God is good.

I'm listening to this song that the worship pastor played at my first small group meeting this past week. Hillsongs I Adore You
I was listening to it non-stop at work. And forever the Lord is exalted.

Snippets of my life these days. As you can see, I've become a pseudo fireworks photographer these days. With the terrific harbour view from my apartment, I'm trying to milk it for all its worth. The fireworks picture was taken on the New Years Eve at the Yacht Club. The cake picture is one of my many culinary escapades in the art of melding sugar and butter together. I'm failing a lot these days and I need to figure out how to master this to make it a piece of cake (I know, I'm cheesier than most dads). And as I mentioned earlier, a new addition to my collection of blogs-the style one- that's a necklace I made for the NYE ball: black Swarvoski crystal,velvet, safety pin and chains.

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A new year and a new beginning.
That's the great thing about being Chinese- you get to celebrate TWO new years and have the ability to start resolutions twice if you failed the first time around. Chinese New Year is coming up (coincidentally the same day as Valentine's Day which is quite unfortunate for all restaurants here banking on boyfriends dolling their pockets out to spend on their girlfriends cuz... now they have to spend it with family! haaaha).
So, I was close to quitting. I was very close to throwing my hands up and leaving. I didn't understand why I was here in the first place if nothing was really happening. It wasn't only this aspect of my life but also the spiritual dryness that I felt the past month. I could only run for so long on morning devotionals prior to work before I felt devoid of any emotion or desire to want to talk to God. Without accountability, spiritually close friends or friends whom I could look face to face and share with, reading the Bible and praying just became a chore. At one point I was just sitting and staring out the window that overlooked all of Hong Kong and just said, "honestly, God, I don't really have a desire to talk to You. I feel like I'm talking to myself or to a wall that doesn't want to have a conversation." and that was it. That was my prayer. Although it was point blank and took me about two minutes to say, that's all I really did feel.

I know this is out of nowhere, but can I say, I hate talking to friends on Skype. Or at least attempting to. I've been stood up so many times I feel like their lack of care and timing comes out of lack of respect for me. Just because I am not physically there to meet up with them, they find that it is okay to not show up until an hour later and just brush it off with a "sorry I'm late" and proceed to repeat this process. I get really angry about these things. Most people don't care but they don't understand that I never cared for skype or ichat until they told me to get it. And they told me to get it so we could converse via video. So when they come on late and let me know they either forgot/woke up late/whatever, I don't understand why I bother waiting at all. I am a person who likes multitasking and skype/ichat requires my 100% attention thus I can't really surf the internet or listen to music or watch youtube videos if I'm on skype. Which is fine because hey, if you're a friend, I'll give you the attention because I do have the desire to talk to you but the fact that you decide to go on forty five minutes later while I'm just sitting here waiting, irks the heck out of me. Once I remembered I had a skype date but didn't recall the time but decided not to bother checking because I just assumed the person wouldn't be on after a consistent number of times we had to reschedule. I was wrong, I think, but sadly I really did not feel any remorse. I can't seem to find the heart to forgive because I don't think they really care to ask for forgiveness or embody a spirit of repentance.

Anyway, life is changing once again. The nature of my work is changing come the new year. I'm a little apprehensive after my experience here for the past five months but at the same time excited. The news came to me on the day my parents were going to leave Hong Kong which was so perfect. I guess you can say I got a new position. Ask me! I am excited to share! It's an ENFP/Inspirer position!!! ^^

At the first SG meeting I attended this past week, they were discussing the sermon this past Sunday which was on the year of relationships. Apparently after five years at a church, people start to couple together hence the sermon. Our pastor believes it's a year of new relationships and marriage. Given that most of the people at our church are in their late twenties, I don't doubt that. Anyhow the SG leader asked me if I had a "list" of qualities I'd want in a significant other and when I said one of them was "the ability to initiate" everyone seemed a little surprised. The worship pastor asked me why.
To me this is such a no-brainer. It's the easiest way to get a girl: initiate. It's the biggest telltale sign and the smallest action that has the greatest significance. I told him that it was attractive to see a guy just saying hello or asking to eat lunch together (including group lunches like after service). I find it very attractive when guys initiate because it shows their self-assurance/confidence and potential qualities as a leader of a relationship (on the top of my abstract list). If I were to marry someone, I would want him to be the initiator and if he can't initiate in the beginning, there's a problem because a small action such as this is experienced over and over again from going out to lunch to deciding on where to go on vacation to where to settle down to start a family. I find people who do not initiate to be a turn-off mostly because they're afraid of being wrong or being rejected. I can't imagine in the future asking a boyfriend, where do you wanna go for lunch? and him saying "I don't care. You pick." Or What do you want to do this weekend? and him saying "doesn't matter to me as long as it's not shopping." I'm not interested in getting to know a vapid person with no opinion or taste. It won't offend me if you wanted Thai food instead of udon noodles. I don't care if you don't have a preference, just pick or offer options.
And that's partially there's a reason why all my guy friends are just friends.

Anyway, the reason for this post was to just record the change in my work and the goodness of waiting on God because His timing is perfect. I'm starting to understand that very slowly.

When I feel depressed I take out my keys and look at them. I have access to two of the most beautiful homes in HK to remind me of God's blessing on me with one facing a beach and one facing the HK skyline. I can walk out of the shower with only a towel on and look across all of HK and no one would see me but I can see all of Hong Kong island. That made me chuckle on one of the days I was feeling really depressed.

Contentment.

My aunt said, "being human is easy. If you are in good health, your family is well and loves you and you have a job to earn money so that you may live and eat, you should be happy."

I remember when I was in high school when I would doze off in the sun drenched room of my art teacher's studio over a half finished sketch lit by the dappled light. He purposely kept the window's history with the memory of many layers of rain residue mark the glass to avoid the intensity of the sun so his twenty something orchids could flourish. The smell of baking sub sandwiches next door always made me drowsy; the warm smell of flour, the comforting fragrance of bread reminded me of an imaginary home. Although it was after school and I hung out at his studio at least once or twice a week learning how to watercolor or sketch, I never questioned my existence there.

I don't know why I remember those moments so vividly. I am most conscious of the things I am bored of. Yet as I look back, I've realized that the patience to learn has disappeared and left me with a voracious appetite for speed and temporal solutions. I used to think practicing violin was a pain. I never became good at violin because I hated practicing and what I hated practicing most were scales and arpeggios. If you can't master the basics, then you'll never be good and that was me. Yet despite a few tantrums here and there, I still diligently went. I never spoke of my rights nor never tried to justify not going.

I've realized my hot-headedness these days and sometimes the rashness of my words. It's been a very fast learning experience here in the workforce due to my lack of experience and sensitivity. Ask me if you want details because I do not want to share here.

It'll be interesting this next year. Chinese New Year. A whole new start. I'm vague in my paranoia.

My parents have come and now left. I still feel the tightness of my throat closing in. In my guise of independence, I still miss them when I say goodbye.

So my aunt is right. It is good to be just content with what you have. I have the job I wanted to get, a beautiful apartment, a church I am settling down into and am in good health with parents who just came to visit me.

My aunt said, "it takes a lot to be able to bake. You need to be in good health, have the strength to run around to collect the ingredients and make it, have the patience to follow a recipe, have the money to purchase ingredients and most of all, a space that has an oven. It is not easy to bake so when you are baking, even though it is seemingly a very small thing, it takes a lot for it to happen. Be content with that."

‘Most people make the mistake of thinking design is what it looks like,” says Steve Jobs, Apple’s C.E.O. ”People think it’s this veneer — that the designers are handed this box and told, ‘Make it look good!’ That’s not what we think design is. It’s... more”
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+When I see a blank blog post waiting to be written, I don't see a blink or a flash of the type on my computer. Instead, I see a heartbeat, a pulse, waiting for me to make a first move on the keyboard. Every half second it reminds me that it's still here, ready to write whatever it is I want to express. It exists because I give it life.

+I was browsing Lane Crawford the other day when I accidentally veered into the lingerie section (I was trying to find 'home' which was next door). I caught a whiff of spice. Have you noticed that creating intimacy is not only through putting more silk pillows, carpeted flooring and incandescent chandeliers- all visual- but also hinted through scent? The olfactory is largely ignored by design. If lingerie is for seducing, intimacy and a sense of being enclosed can also be created through warm, sweet smells that perfume the mind.

+A large part of my portfolio questions have come to this: how would you visualize taste? Rataouille did it through simple lines and colors that interacted with one another on a black background. How do you taste clothes?

+My roommate told me yesterday, "I want to be at your wedding. I think it would be the prettiest but I think you'd be an unexpected bridezilla". I asked her if it's because I'm anal and she said yes. "i dont know what kind of guy to find you i dont think one that will fit your standards exists cause he needs to be tall, he needs to be good looking, and he needs to know how to dress, and he needs to let you be independent, and he needs to like... not be gay. i dont think those exist"
I wouldn't need someone who dressed well, that can always be altered. I don't think it's impossible though, I've met one.
I remember in my previous interview with a male model, he shared with how smart and attractive girls are intimidating because a guy has his ego and pride to keep. They have to pretend to be a little dumb initially. I can't help thinking, although I know I am still young, that I will be a spinster for life. I can't pretend to play stupid.

+If I can learn to be content with what I have, I would have achieved something not many people in this world possess. I have much to be thankful for. I can only do with what I have been given (as said by John the Baptist) but my mind is always on Cloud 9.

+I saw 'Coco and Igor' today. It's about the love affair between Chanel and Stravinsky. I like the kaleidoscope introduction to the Art Nouveau lettering to the shots lit with natural sunlight from the window. I love how films magnify the small things in life- an intake of breath, the wrinkling of an eye, the sound of paper rustling. I find them precious.

+I love it when a font is carefully chosen to reflect the text. Font gives personality and life to text. I don't read text like most editors do, I see it. People read words, I picture words. In my sketchbook, I doodle different fonts according to the context of the word.

+I find it interesting that when you enter a place steeped in personal memories, you find yourself overwhelmed by thoughts of the past. Living in your head, alone, whilst in the present.

+I got a beautiful pair of sandals. Thanks dad.

+I've come to realize that my spending habits are higher than the average person (whatever that means). I like to spend more on things that occur in the every day. Unlike clubbing, drinking or smoking which I find all external from the daily necessities of life, I would much rather spend $10 more in a nice cafe for lunch or $100 more on a pair of shoes I know that will last me longer and give me more satisfaction than say McDonald's or MK shoes. They are enticing though.

+What I have come to treasure are those friends who are not physically here but our hearts are very close to one another. I have come to learn that these friendships do exist and all the more, I should cherish these the most.

Meditations

Okay so I'm finally updating every single one of the three blogs I've opened now. Whoopee.

I've started to wonder why I decided to launch this project. Then again that is the reason why I always write a mission statement in my first post when I feel a little lost.

I feel like I can be me the most on this blog. I like not having a face. I like being able to say exactly what I think without worrying about what people think because hardly anyone knows this blog. It's comforting.
On my style blog I feel overexposed. I'd rather remain anonymous amongst everyone but people who are interested in fashion. Because that's all I really want- to have a dialogue with people who are style-hungry.
As I was walking to work today, I wondered to myself why I stopped style blogging two years ago. Two years ago, I got into a magazine because they spotted my blog. For some reason, even after that small success, I stopped. I now ask myself why I stopped if someone in the industry saw something in that. If I had continued, would I be in a different place from where I am now?
But I don't feel like that this is me- this blog thing I'm doing. I'd rather share thoughts than pictures.

If I could say anything about myself positively, is that I'm dead honest with myself. I now know where my vulnerabilities are, what character issues I have to work on, when I start to think illogically. I'm impatient, easy to get angry, holds grudges, counts wrongs, never satisfied with what I have. I am serious when I say who I am inside is not pretty at all. How ironic. By the way, I learned this all at work.

Concerning 'marketing' the blog (majority put it on their msn name/fbook) I set up this blog system because... I like a little obscurity. I need to figure out the line between private and public.

-As of now, if you are male, you probably don't know my style one. Unless you have an interest in fashion. I know me and I know girls like attention. I don't want my fashion blog to turn into a 'look at me!' fiesta. I want to talk about fashion and not how good/ugly/hot//bad/fat/skinny I look. And it feels weird talking about shallow things suddenly. In addition, I don't want people to know me inside out. You know my innards and I think that's enough. This blog records five years of my thought journey and I cherish this one a lot more than the others because of the commitment put into this. I feel like here, I can write exactly what I think and not care what anyone else thinks because, hey, you can't see me. For all I care, you can judge my insides as long as you can't see me.

-If you are reading this, you probably know this and my baking one. You will know my baking one if you're my friend on Facebook. I am fully aware of the dangers of blogging to the unknown hence no pictures of me here. That's weird.

-None of my blogs link to each other. Will link the style one to the baking one but not baking to style.

-If you are not reading this, then, you are 99% of my friends. I decided to make this blog anonymously accessible. Can't google this one up.

-The only link to my style blog is through the means of which I got into the magazine two years ago.


If this appears to be a snob thing, it's not. It's my method of protecting myself from overexposure and more importantly, protecting what matters most which is my heart. I know, it sounds ultra cheesy, but I've made mistakes in the past where I got emotionally attached to things that were not there to begin with. I do not want to start idolizing my blogs so by preventing certain people from seeing certain blogs, I can make sure I don't end up being incredibly self-centered.

In the end, know this. I am not setting up boundaries to keep people out, I am setting up boundaries to keep myself in line with God. It is so incredibly difficult to die to myself each day and trust that because God is greater, that life is better when I am secondary. I do not want to set myself up to be vulnerable to people I do cherish but not in ways that are just. However I do want to share but with the right people. I want to create, design, innovate and play in the freedom that allows me to push me to succeed not by human attention or validation but out of the pure joy of just making.

Yeah, that's why I blog. And that is why I've started two other blogs: to realize the joys of making and to share that with people who have similar interests.


God, help me, I'm feeling so dry.

People have told me, “a portfolio of baking and fashion (styling)? That isn’t a really cohesive mix if you also include your sustainable fashion business proposal and menswear croquis.” It’s why, after half a year, since making the resolution I made over bubble tea to have a portfolio website up and running by Christmas, is still left uncompleted.

Being in Hong Kong now for about five months, has given me time to really mull over my own interests and I’ve realized after immersing myself in many spectacular blogs concerning fashion, that the portfolio I want as a designer is not the traditional artisanal ones that Renaissance apprentices would tote around to show to their fellow artists. Rather, what I really want is one that is a close synthesis between blog and portfolio. I like conversing with people thus writing and photography (of fashion/baking) is what I realize to be the best way of expressing me in the most comfortable, raw form. The reason why I opened two more blogs was to monitor my own sub conscious ways of making. I want to understand why I create the way I do, the underlying overall aesthetic that I deviate to (if you know me, I am constantly at a tug o’war between minimalism, 18th century frivolity- symmetry/geometry versus arabesque/script forms, colour versus absence of colour, feminine versus masculine). When I start to spot some pattern, I will go with it and hopefully create a distilled aesthetic that is inextricably me. I don’t want to make up an aesthetic because pretension is not the name of the game. If I try to invent something that is outside of what I already do, I am forfeiting the natural ways I am designing.

Within the confines of my cubicle and the absence of social groups, I’ve poured all my focus into being conscious of the unconscious. Now I am itching for a home to place all my work in. I think I will make it my goal for June. I already know what name I want for my site and it most definitely will not be my name alone. Someone told me, “if it’s your first site, you should use your name.” Except my name is nothing new nor has any personality in it.

While most designers want a portfolio to speak to potential clients and employers, I want a portfolio that just speaks to the masses. Perhaps you won’t hire me because I seem all over the place. Perhaps you wont’ hire me because my skill levels range from culinary to clothes to drawing to writing. But what I can’t do is deny these are my strengths and that even if they do not merge into one perfect package, I do them well. Perhaps all in their own individual domain, but nevertheless I am not just a fine artist. Not just a writer. Not just a fashion designer. But three in one.
I’ve been trying to fight being three in one but the thing is, why I am fighting at passions that have been so clear cut? In the end, I use all three to do one thing: create and communicate. I wear the clothes I wear to challenge the MK mold, I bake because I like to give and I write because it’s the easiest form for me to express core ideas and philosophy.

I just read a stunning article about Meryl Streep in Vanity Fair. I envy her ability to be so secure in who she is that is not defined by people. When she was young, people thought of her as unattractive but she thought to herself, "oh well, can't do anything about being less attractive." And she poured herself into acting- she didn't stumble on beauty road blocks. Rather she simply chose to not see it as something worth paying attention to. And she just moved on. Yet the industry is full of established beautiful people whom cannot seem to let go of this first to truly pull ahead and focus on their acting. It's why I love Meryl Streep and why she is, in my eyes, one of the only women in this industry whom I'd actually consider a talented actress. One who can play a myriad of characters because she first got over herself in order to become the person required on screen. The simplicity in such a realization is hard to actually fulfill.

Ok I'm on antibiotics. Die stomach flu die.

Um, Hello.

Wow I think this is the first time that I've only posted once in a month.
Oh happy new year and merry christmas.

I stopped blogging because I just wanted to forget all that's occurred this past month. Not that it was anything terrible but the frustration and the pain of knowing what I used to have mixed in with still trying to adjust to life/work here has made me not want to write at all because all that I would be writing would be rants. And I don't want to look back at a blog full of anger.

Im sick again. I've been getting sick approximately once a month- this time with weird stomach problems. Stupid HK- it's forcing my immune system to take an upgrade.

I've also started/launched two new blogs. I'm not sure why I have three distinct blogs for three separate interests of mine but I do. I've launched one that records all my baking that I started about three months ago that I've been telling most of my close friends about. I recently started one for fashion, specifically one that records my own style for a few experiments sake. That one I've been less gung ho about telling people due to its narcissistic nature. I mean it's basically saying "hey guys, look at what I'm wearing today!" Mmmm not my cup of tea. I won't be advertising either blogs here- you'll find the baking one if you're my friend on facebook or msn. You'll find the fashion one if I told you personally (or unless you ask of its existence which I would not mind sharing either way). If you know all three of my blogs, well then, you're about the only one who does because I trust you. Anatomy of an Artist will always remain the thought/text heaviest of my blogs to flex my brain muscles and allow me to flesh out my tangled thoughts. I just don't like the idea that people know me 'inside out' through my text and photo blogs. It seems rather overwhelming and makes me uneasy. "You know what I'm wearing AND thinking. Isn't that kinda creepy"
One day I hope to merge the two photo-heavy blogs together to create one blog aka a portfolio. Traditional art portfolios are dead in my eyes, a blog-style portfolio is what I am aiming for which synthesizes both thought, process and work into one steady stream of raw material.


The other day I was reading my personality type under the Myers-Brigg personality test I did back in high school. I was an ENFP. To this day, I am surprised at the precision this test defines me. Although I hate being 'type-casted' the ENFP personality description describes me to a tee. Known as 'The Inspirer'- I remember the past year when I was working on my thesis, I began creating my own 'company' by trying to find a principle that I would want my employees to work under. After writing two pages of endless subconscious thought, it came down to one thing: to inspire creativity within the company. That whatever the company did, it would always think in the 'what if' instead of the 'what is'. Now that I reread the Myers-Brigg test, the more I am in awe of its accuracy. I don't think any part of that description I could say is not me. I rule by morals, am people-driven, lack commitment (erm) and hate menial daily tasks.
In another description of the ENFP it says this: "ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it."
SO TRUE.

So the past week I've been spending a great portion of it with my cousin who came back from Philly. He had 10 friends come back with him from Australia and the States. It's been interesting. They are the people I would avoid on a normal basis- you know- the popular, smart bunch of guys who like to party 24/7 (from what I recall, there was not one day,or should I say 'night', they did not party here in HK). I guess this comes from my ENFP personality- this easy-to-judge nature of mine. I guess it comes from a resentment that I know these people in return would certainly not hang out with me because I am not the party-type. I don't like to drink, smoke, grind at clubs and stay up late talking to random strangers. And because I do none of the former, I am type-casted as the 'good girl', the 'goody two-shoe' and the 'innocent one'. People like my cousin, wouldn't take notice of me nor care to hang out with me precisely because I do not partake in those activities (there is no reason for him anyway). People always say, "Don't taint her because she's so innocent." I may not know many things not because I am ignorant, but because I don't see the reason why I would need to know such things.

The reason why I never partied was because I never saw the benefits that would come out of it logically speaking. I never saw the need to 'rebel' as a teenager in the most typical forms of teenage rebellion. Rebellion isn't about drinking or partying to start an uproar against the parental figureheads. That's just cliche. I always went against the grain in my own subtle ways. Starting in high school I never went into Life Sci (not that there's anything wrong with that) and went into the ambiguous field called 'design', I chose to go to a US college and was one out of two to actually go to the States for school, in college I chose not to go into the typical fashion program because I didn't want to pigeon-hole myself and just have a sewing/croquis portfolio despite a lot of people questioning if I had a direction in life, and in my department my roommate and I started a mini uproar with our heads because of the design of our course requisites and I chose to study fashion and sustainable design precisely because I did not see how using organic cotton was helping the environment. And now that I'm working, I started a mini uproar here questioning the legitimacy of every single task that I do. It's not to say that anything I mentioned about is unworthy but it wasn't for me. Rebelling for the sake of looking cool is stupid. Rebelling for a cause and a belief that you firmly believe in is something worth labouring over. It could be as superficial as questioning why every girl wears Ugg boots and hoodies and thinks it's fashionable and defining dress differently. I don't see why I have to dress like that so I don't. It's totally a small thing, but it's something I could change instantly- literally.

Anyhow, party boys do fascinate me because their thought pattern is the complete opposite of my own. Although I do distance myself from them my curiousity to figure out why they find fulfillment in such activities does interest me. My relatives borrowed their friend's baller yacht and we went sailing one day (fascinates me even more when people who drink get seasick so easily). I spent my Christmas at the Country Club for lunch and New Years at the Yacht Club with all of them at a black tie event. It was beautiful- the Yacht Club has Hong Kong as its backdrop and in the parking lot area they decorated the area with a Christmas tree, lights, balloons and poinsettias. Inside, the restaurant overlooked Kowloon side and every table was laden with silly circus hats, candles, party fare and twinkling tablecloth. There was a live band and a dance floor- one of the guys paid one of the others $150 to get up on the dance floor wearing a silly hat and do a solo dance for 30 seconds. It was the funniest thing ever.
While all the guys have been spending a large portion of their late mornings at the tailors for $1000 HKD custom-made tuxes, I opted to wear magenta for the ball. My initial thought was to wear sleek black but recalled that the majority of men would be wearing black and since black is the most popular shade of this year in womenswear, I was hedging a bet that most women would be as well (I wasn't wrong). Black is safe right? :P
I went for a magenta strapless dress I found in a slash-tag store in Central and got it altered from a UK size 10 to whatever I am. 'Magenta' and 'strapless' because I know in the past I would have never worn a saturated hue in a body-conscious dress. Consider it a psychological cure to a self-esteem issue through the physical and my own way of rebelling against being type-casted as the 'good girl'. The guy I sat across from at the dinner echoed the same sentiment and said he liked my choice in color as opposed to the black color palette. The guy next to me unnecessarily puts his hand on my back and asks me my preference in wine and apologizes that his fingers are cold. I must have flinched when I told him that I didn't like to drink (but you know I'm laughing on the inside).
Party guys, I will never be able to figure you out totally but I do understand a smidgen.
Besides that, I made my own jewelry for the event. I've started making my own things these days to keep my creative juices from stagnating- black Swarovski crystals, chains and black velvet ribbon close around the neck courtesy of Sham Sui Po garment district. I love that area. I'll post an entry in my fashion blog soon.

Anyhow, it was a somewhat lonely New Years. The countdown was lovely- all the buildings in HK went up in fireworks (although if I saw it from my temporary apartment, it would have been even better). It was lonely in a way because when I saw my cousin and his friends together, it made me miss my friends back at home. The other day someone asked me "do you miss home?" to which I asked, "which home are you referring to because I technically have not lived in Toronto for over four years." These questions are becoming more difficult to answer as time progresses. Last year everyone came over- I was exhausted but there was this warm familiarity that wasn't present this year. This year the first person people would turn to say "happy new years!" was not me but their significant other, or in the case of my cousin and his friends, each other. After that, they quickly hopped on cabs to go to the Grand Hyatt hotel for the Hed Kandi Circus party. Partyers. My other cousins and aunt and uncle went for a super early breakfast buffet they were hosting at the Yacht Club and at 3:30am, I knocked out at my uncle's place.

For the blog record, I went to Disneyland on the 26th. It's sad when I need a fake consumer-Christmas feeling derived from Disney but I miss home.

My apologies for any grammar mistakes: I've lost a lot of electrolytes today and am barely awake at 8pm. I slept 12 hours last night after having knocked out on my cousin while we were skyping (sad). I rarely sleep that much- it occurs once a year. I just feel exhausted and sluggish when I walk. My dad's back and we went shopping and Cova for tea (not the best idea in hindsight) but it was nice to spend time with him. =)

New Years Resolutions:
1. The average human uses 10% of their brain, I will use 15% (not quantifiable- I just thought it would be funny)
2. To be great at what I am good at.

There was one more but I do not recall at this moment (drinking Gatorade in hopes that it will come back to me).