I once was told not too long ago that I needed a mentor.
Usually I just brush it off and laugh: are you kidding me? You're telling me this now after more than two decades have passed?

All my life I've never had a mentor- partially because of my nomadic life, no one knew me well enough to give me guidance and partially because of my non entity-ness that didn't allow many people the 'upper hand' with more wealth in knowledge than I did.

Spiritually, I always flew under the radar at church. I've never had a solid relationship with any pastor thinking I'm just another sheep in his flock to fill a seat on Sunday mornings. Whenever I was confused about the Bible, I just asked someone or read a Christian magazine or just brushed it off. After I read Da Vinci Code months prior to its surge in popularity: I really was a little stumped about my faith and decided to call an elder from the church for clarification (just so happens to be a relative) and what I was told was "not to worry about it" because it's just fiction. She never realized the magnitude at which it would rock the church to the point many of the questions went to the Vatican. But telling me that it's just fiction doesn't answer my question of why John is also portrayed as a woman in the supposed book of Mary Magdalene that was edited from the Bible. It doesn't bring comfort to the fact that someone chose to ignore something I thought was worth examining to sharpen my faith.
Thus I had no spiritual mentor.

In school, in dear old Parsons, finding a mentor who was both ept in sustainable design as well as fashion proved extremely difficult. Having a knowledge in such a field needs someone who is already trying to innovate within the system. Yet I knew more than my teacher who was supposed to... teach me. But I realized all that I learned in my thesis year was self taught fueled by my own passion for systems design.

Mentors. Every hero has a mentor- just watch the movies. I just don't know anyone who I could trust to be one nor know anyone who knows me well enough I could respect enough to see him/her as one.

[pause]

I'm starting to tire of social networks. With the arrival of Google Buzz and in my curiosity, I regrettably became a follower of everyone and everyone became a follower of me. First it was MySpace and then it was Facebook. Twitter is Facebook on crack and for the attention deficit while Google Buzz vies another of your ten second time slot.

Not to mention the rise of blogs- everyone seems to be 'doing it' these days. While the majority of my friends have died off (what happened??) of Xanga, a new crop of friends have discovered new blog hosts that operate like Twitter. I can't help but feel a wave of cynicism wash over as I see the eager anticipation of people asking me to check their new blog which they fervently update every other day for a month and then suddenly dissipate into thin air. Most of the time, all I want to say is "really? is your blog really worth my ten minutes? Can I just visit your domain in three months time to see if it even stays afloat?" But being friends, I need to offer support and encouragement because I'm friend first, blogger second.

But I'm starting to feel dragged down by the frenzy of social networking tools. I really do not care to know what passes through your brain every half an hour as a plea for attention. And what is this all for? To feed the need for self acknowledgement? That every tweet or buzz represents the beat of your heart so that friends recall that you are still of substance?
I know this may sound terribly ironic coming from someone who has had a blog for five years that centers around the self and recently opened another two that branches off into her interests. I think best when I write it out and as a person who lives up to her name as being 'the listener', at times I really don't think people want my verbal reciprocation thus the existence of Anatomy of an Artist. The name was chosen for the purpose of dissecting my own thought patterns.
I am starting to feel a little schizophrenic as I try to address a different kind of audience in the trio of blogs once a week. It means that I have to figure out an outfit and be photographed at least once a week, bake once a week, and puke out something with a little depth to counterbalance the former. Not to mention WRITE and POST it up on the internet.

I see blogging as a discipline. I am the farthest thing from an athlete but I do know that discipline in training sets them apart from us couch potatoes. Blogging, to me, is my way of exercising my creative muscles. Every week I have to make a conscious decision to make sure all blogs are in somewhat of a good shape. You know, the hardest blog for me to fulfill each week is the style one. Because I hate being photographed. Why? Because unlike this blog and my baking one, the style one requires external help and the instability of that makes me worried. But because I can't think of anything innovative right now, I'll start here and hopefully in my discomfort, figure out a new form of blogging with fashion as the foundation. I'm hoping to learn something new from starting a style blog that allows me to tap into something I feel more comfortable with. Baking to me is second nature and this blog has been the easiest to maintain.

Back to the overexposure on social media networks, I've realized the hazards of being so open to everyone about everything. I guess that's why I've kind of drawn the line between audiences across all three blogs. Some people do skip between all three borders but because I let them and because usually those people are avid bloggers themselves. HAhaha I tend to write A LOT so imagine reading this times three. Yeah but no thanks. No one needs to read or know that much about me anyway.

Whoops I accidentally published this rather than saving as a draft. Ooops.

The Pre-Peter Heirs

You know, I've been thinking.

I've been thinking about the greatness of God descending on the heirs of His Kingdom.

I've watched two movies in the past two days since there's not much to do on Chinese New Year: Percy and the Lightning Thief and Avatar.

Why is that we think greatness and a life full of excitement and adventure only exists in the realm of film? If there's something worth noting in these movies is that the hero always begins as a commoner, unaware of his potential and power, is taken in by a mentor who tells him/her that she was born with an ability to change the world, finds hard to accept his/her new position, trains to become the person he/she was born to be and conquers evil alongside fear and self doubt.
And yet when we leave the cinema, we are so divorced from the idea that perhaps our own lives are meant to be as equally, if not more beyond our imaginations were entertained in those few hours.


My heart is troubled because I don't believe that that power lies within me. For some reason, as someone who confesses to be an heir and daughter of the living God, I regard myself as weak and unable to connect with the idea that the power that Jesus had on earth is the power we Christians could have in our own lives:


Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. 12I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. 14You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. John 14:11-14

This passage bothers me to no end. It sticks out like a sore thumb. "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." You mean literally? This passage tells me that I can't pretend that life will be normal, that what Jesus did like walk on water, appease storms, turning water to wine and raising people from the dead was only reserved for Him alone. If we are one with Christ, we should all be able to raise the dead, heal the sick and cast out demons and apparently something crazier than what Jesus did- I can't even fathom what 'crazier' would entail.

It bothers me to no end because I have no idea how that comes out nor have any idea to ask God for these really crazy things partially because of my lack of faith and the depth of fear.

But when I was reflecting last night on the root of my fear, the fear of Man, that what I know I will regret in the future when I meet God face to face is the following conversation,

God: Why did you not witness to [insert name]?
Me: Well.... cuz I was scared....
God: Why were you scared?
Me: Because.... I was scared of her reaction.
God: But you have Me with you
Me: Yeah I know... but I was scared of looking like an idiot.

That sounds totally lame. Yet even in my knowledge of this I still bicker with myself.

Putting it bluntly, I don't ever see God's supernatural power in me. I mean I guess it could be transferable but I don't see that God would ever give that to me. God is willing and God is able says Hybel. But one of the problems I face is seeing God as Father and not God as a pinata that I have to beat with my prayer stick before He unleashes out the candy miracle.

But as Hybel puts it, don't focus on the mountain (the problem) but focus on God who can move the mountain. I remember reading a book title that said, 'If You Want to Walk on Water, Get Out of the Boat'. I think that is precisely my problem. I can't see God's supernatural power because I can't even get out of the boat to allow Him to work. I'm cruising on my ocean liner of fear and self doubt, focusing on my own inability and mistaking it as God's lack of power when in fact the reflection of my self is precisely untrue. We have it all backwards: we often see ourselves as powerless therefore God is powerless too when it should be that we see God as the Almighty that we too, are given that same strength through the Holy Spirit, our Counselor.

I have heard of people being raised from the dead, people being physically healed and people given the gift of tongues (understandable languages too such as Italian) in this present day and age. But me? Oh no of course not. Why would I ever experience that? Sometimes I do find myself saying 'The End' when I shut the Book and divorce any thoughts of being the next Paul or the next David. "Psh, they had God on their side that's all!" but is not God of yesterday and two thousand years ago, the same God today?

After listening to this week's sermon, I asked God for a power sign (sorry forgot the official term our pastor uses.... listen to the sermon! google 'solomon's porch hk'). It could be a miracle or a wondrous sign OR it could be the gift to perceive into a person's thoughts. It is true that one of Jesus' uncanniest abilities was not calming storms but His gift of seeing right into the depth's of a person's heart with a piercing accuracy.

God, please please pull me out of pre-Peter phase. Please help me to get out of the boat, let alone walk on water.


One of my favourite verses out of the Bible comes from Ecclesiastes. When I watch movies now, I watch it with a whole new perception realizing that we ourselves can actually relate to characters such as these. Percy, the son of Poseidon, realized his power over water and in Avatar, Jack realizes his power as a demi-Navi to save a race from being wiped out by the 'sky people'. We, as humans, yearn for the 'something more' because God placed that desire deep within us:

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

Poetry, Solomon, that's poetry. You probably got that from your father, David

-Picture above from my schizophrenic fashion blog. I love this T-shirt. The only thing on it is a big black circle. The simplicity of the graphic boggles me- not the genius in it but the designer's certainty in the sufficiency of his work. I can't imagine handing my boss a graphic T-shirt proposal in with a big black dot as the focal point. I'd think my boss would assume me to be lazy and/or unoriginal. Yet with the overwhelming number of tees and logo-ed graphics, I love this shirt has only one clear loud voice in the form of a dot.

-Alexander McQueen passed away last night. I assume the people I address in this portion of my life are not in fashion, but he was an influential designer known for the shock value of his runway shows. He recently collaborated with Lady Gaga to produce her MV for Bad Romance (yes the weird insect shoes were dreamt up by him) and also had the privilege to debut her hit single. It was said he committed suicide not long after his mom passed away a week ago and his dear friend and mentor, Isabella Blow committed suicide three years ago. At work I was wikipedia-ing his mentor, Isabella Blow, a famous fashion figure within the industry who also committed suicide three years ago. Apparently she tried many times from jumping off buildings (breaking her ankles) to taking sleeping pills. I can't help but think the passivity of Christians. There is an obvious number of hurting people but where is the church?

-I tried another Small Group this past Tuesday. my coworker's. We're going through a book called 'Too Busy Not to Pray' by Bill Hybel a pastor at Willow Creek Church in Chicago. Usually when the topic of prayer becomes the center focus of studying and conversation, I find it cumbersome and not fun. I know prayer is in direct communication with God yet lately due to my lack of accountability, I've gotten fed up with talking to God. Although I know He hears me and He answers in His own ways, there were some days I just said I had nothing to say and would go on with my day.
The SG was three weeks into the book so I read the three chapters in half an hour before they started. The things I got out of it:
-God is willing
-God is able
If you are a Christian who believes these two truths with your whole heart, you have a faith that can move mountains. I struggle predominantly with thinking that God needs to be coaxed into listening to my requests and if I bang on His door hard and long enough, He'll exasperatedly answer me. I mean, that's how humans are aren't they? Somehow I equated God with our humanistic faults. If God is our Father and we are heirs to His kingdom, as His children, His love for us should overflow with the desire to give us the best.
Secondly, God is able was and is one thing I am having trouble overcoming. If you could pray to God with 100% certainty He would grant it, what would you pray for?
As I pondered this question, what I realized was not the topic of my prayer request, but the fact that that I was even dabbling in the idea of a 100% fulfillment proved that I actually do not believe that God will answer my prayers.
We broke down into small groups to discuss the book and look over the questions. I ended up with three people including one of the small group leaders. I started sharing about my inability to trust in God's omnipotence and shared with them the incident with the crippled man. I still feel, to this day, I was supposed to go back to him. I've never felt so strongly about approaching someone in poverty but that day onward I felt an immense burden to return to that same spot- except I didn't and made lame excuses every Sunday. I shared with them the spirit of doubt within me and started to cry with the shame and remorse of being a pre-Acts Peter. I hate shedding tears for a part of me hates the way people associate artists and women with tears as a sign of weakness. But I couldn't help but weep over the realization that my faith can't move mountains and that my relationship in God was being put to the test and to my discovery, was in fact quite shallow. What do I know about God and being king over all? What part of the song that says 'You are mighty God, Lord of everything,' do I really believe in? For if faith the size of a mustard seed can command mountains to throw themselves into the sea, how minute mine must be!
I've been lacking in Christian accountability and support. They must think me crazy but I knew after that one meeting, that this was the Small Group I am supposed to settle into.

Help me overcome my unbelief.

You Never Let Go

What reminds you of emptiness? Of loneliness?

Food courts remind me of loneliness.
Food fills the stomach, but the soul is still empty.

I've been eating dinner a lot at food courts these days, imprisoned within my own barriers of language. My host's father has been ill so she's been busy taking care of him so I've been eating at food courts in malls the past few weeks.
Is it lonely? Yeah it is but at the same time I keep myself preoccupied by observing.
Observing what?

People. Stores.


I guess it's safe to announce that within the five months I've been at my first job, I've transferred positions. I now am officially a Fashion Analyst working directly for the CEO doing trend reports, competitor case studies, company-brand case studies and marketing. It's quite exciting. They literally came and moved my entire desk near to the CEO's office and gave me a better monitor.
In a way I love it. I love how I am getting paid to learn. Say what?
I don't claim to know much about why this company is successful and why it fails in other areas. I have my hunches but what I love is that I can act as a student, do a lot of research and come up with hypotheses based on my research and then start testing them out with various theories and strategies.
What I realized after I graduated is that upon graduation one does not cease to learn. In fact I still remain a student.
I will always be a student. I am a student of my company analyzing information and material that is presented to me as I seek to find correlations and patterns within consumption habits of customers. That old saying, "you can never teach old dogs new tricks" is a load of baloney. Old dogs are just unwilling to learn. Who can claim they know let alone understand the whole world? Added years don't make a person old, stubbornness and pride make people old.

I've been given a design assignment and I've started looking at the people around me for inspiration. You can mock big corporations but I admire them. I admire stores like H&M and Zara who probably know their customer better than the customer's own social circle. To be a successful fashion store you need to understand the customer beyond what they wear. Fashion permeates what you eat, what you watch, what you do on the weekends. Often the lifestyle reflects the clothes they wear. I was behin a a girl walking from the subway today who resembled a customer who would fit perfectly in one of our fashion brands. She was wearing a short dress covered in florals, a studded beret hat and a leather jacket. Judging by all the trends she was wearing (leather this past fall/winter, florals this spring and studs the past winter), I would judge the clothes are less than a year old since date of purchase. She fit perfectly into the consumer I wanted to capture so I took note of the trends, colors, silhouette and fabrics that she was wearing. What was she holding? She was holding a Jill Stuart shopping bag. If she was my customer, she would like the Jill Stuart look- girly, feminine, pink. How big was the bag? The shopping bag was very small so I'm guessing she bought jewelry or most likely, makeup/cosmetics (they recently issued out a new eyeshadow set in pinks, red and gold) which must mean she's an aspirational shopper. The aspirational shopper would love to own an entire wardrobe of Jill Stuart but because of her financial limitations, can only buy a piece of that dream by purchasing cosmetics at a lower price.

Yeah, I love looking, observing, note taking all this stuff. I find fashion fascinating because the success of a company is directly rooted in how well one understands one's customer. Understanding the customer takes perseverance, a lot of observation and a huge dose of humility and sensitivity.

Observe first, speak second, design last.



What store can successfully pipe baroque music into their speakers and get shoppers in the mood for buying?

Muji.

I find Muji a fascinating store as a consumer case analysis.
What Ikea is to America is what Muji is to... everywhere else. While Ikea predominantly focuses on furniture, Muji focuses on smaller home furnishings.

What are people buying when they buy Muji?

1. Control: who doesn't want to grasp the reigns on their life? Everyone loves to FEEL organized. Muji offers the promise of a control of one's life through organization and compartmentalization of STUFF. Isn't it ironic? We all own so much stuff but Muji makes you think we need even more stuff to organize our existing stuff.
2. Customization: blank, minimalist design of plastic clarity offers the possibility of personalization. Mark your territory your own way: Muji products are a blank canvas for the consumer artist.

I love walking through this store and examining all the different products. It's highly addictive.

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The more I observe and design in this realm of systems, the more I realize the possibility and existence of God. The person who says 'God does not exist, the universe is one big cosmic accident,' to him I ask how the complexity of each system in life is so beautifully balanced. Like my host says, a minor stroke can impair a few nerves in your brain and throw off the digestive system or your ability to speak. The fragility of life is a display of the precision of God's workmanship. Go against the way things were created, you go against God's design.

You never realize the gifts of God until something goes wrong or is taken away from you.
The gift of health- I never really appreciated how natural the digestive system works seamlessly to recognize vitamins from each other without being conscious of it until I got stomach flu twice. When I was sick, I couldn't wait for the day I could go to the bathroom normally as a marker of my health restored.

For the person who says the earth was some mystical stew that brewed over so that we all evolved as apes into humans, I wonder where they get their self worth from. I am learning to be free as was said this past sunday, to be free not only in the knowledge but through experience. I often catch myself saying things like, "your feet are so big, I wish they were smaller," (Yes I talk in third person to disassociate myself from my body at times) but I remind myself that if God has planned my genetic makeup, surely there is a reason for my size 9 feet. Not a mere coincidence, not an accident but a reason: the reason being that God created us for His pleasure. His workmanship is perfect. Perfect? You mean flawless? I am flawless? Created in the image of God and above the angels, yes. Perfection in God's eyes is not measured by human standards of fleeting beauty and self worth.
Much of my self worth is built upon my exterior AND interior (my success in work). The human side of me finds satisfaction in how other people weigh in on my exterior and my ability to design. If my skin breaks out, my self esteem drops, if I get stuck in creative rut, I get depressed. I've wondered why I value human approval over the Creator of this world. It logically does not make sense at all. Naturally you would think one would want approval from the highest rank. For me, would I not want approval from the CEO above his VP? I find our whole world is backwards.

Sorry I am lacking eloquence and it irks me that the above paragraph sounds very caveman-esque. Shortage of sleep and listening to worship songs is impairing my ability to write and think 'out loud'.
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But God is good. It's all I can say.
Someone once told me, "Why would the CEO listen to you? Someone who came for her first job and has only worked here for two months. Do you have any right or credentials that will make him care to listen to you?"
I am reminded of the book of Psalms.

Five months later, I have become a pseudo Daniel (a whole lot less discipline unfortunately =S). Fresh grad, first job and now working directly for the CEO (aka King Darius). I've been given a position that no one has ever filled before in the history of this company. I don't have a sense of pride, more like a sense of gratitude towards the grace of God in His deliverance. The best thing about this position is that I know God placed me here for a reason thus I know He will be with me every step of the way. I am uncertain and naive about many things in this business, but if I got this job, I know this is no mere accident. There is no weight on my shoulders or burden to please my superior because when the time comes, God will come through. I am only here as long as He decides me to be here for.

I love this song: Matt Redman- You Never Let Go

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

And I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth


My only words of advice is this: if you are frustrated with life, recognize the opportunities of your life and take them. Don't consider them unworthy projects or too small of an opening for you to take up. Recognize the parts of your life or aspects of your job you CAN change or do better and excel in them. I realized I got this transfer because the CEO recognized and appreciated the excellence in which I wrote a four page paper for one of our upcoming projects. I didn't have any fancy adobe programs so I created a manifesto type layout on Word and planned/fleshed out the exact specifications of the project and the necessary manpower for the job. I did it because I realized my ability to offer input in this project because of my strengths in fashion, blogs and the media and most of all, I have a passion for this kind of stuff. I realized that even though the project was small (I actually took the initiative to do it), I knew that if God has given me the insight and the interest in matters such as these, I could offer a lot with the small amount I was given. He recognized that and so did one of the other managers today who told me that the CEO appreciated my work on this simple project. God is good. Remember, do all things for the glory of God.

A new chapter begins. How fitting. Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Free From Fashion

I had some time at work today to just read about the business of fashion as well as other interesting articles. It was brought to my attention by Style Bubble of this article in The Guardian (UK) about why this journalist hates fashion and why people who love it, are essentially morons.

I've come across my share of fashion haters. I think many of us who study in this industry, especially my fellow Parsons girls, are particularly sensitive when others put it down as a senseless, unfulfilling choice of career. It has always been a struggle as Christians, to find meaning and a voice in what we are called to do and always a conscious decision to make it something we use to glorify God rather than glorifying It- the 'It' being 'fashion'.

I remember days of the past when friends who would continuously tell me that they don't care about fashion or how they dress suddenly get riled up over what to wear for prom or for some party. Now when I look back, I muse and ask, "if you really didn't care about fashion at all, then you would go just as you are in a tee and jeans to the prom because really, if you think fashion is beyond you, it shouldn't shake you up this bad."

It does anger me, when people denounce it as pure senselessness (see the article above- no one that riled up can be that unaffected by the industry). I'm a lot calmer these days when people put it down because I often just dismiss them as not fully understanding the potential of innovation and impact. Although I've stopped trying to justify the reason I am in this industry, because I think the justification that God has placed me here is a reason enough to justify itself, I do shake my head at people who think they have little to do with the long arms of the realm of fashion.
How I see it is this: at one point in time all of us had or have the conscious choice to stick with the norm or to go beyond. Most people think sticking to the norm, that is a T-shirt, jeans and sneakers, distances themselves from fashion in relation to those people, like me, who are very sensitive to the pulse of Vogue/style bloggers/designers/trends. To them, they find people who are interested in fashion, people who are self-absorbed, insecure, have self esteem issues, worship at Carrie Bradshaw's feet (or shoe closet) and most of all, copy whatever goes without a thought of asking why.

I see that. It's a valid argument but I usually associate that with girls who buy from American Eagle or Abercrombie. It's not a diss against girls who like AF and Abercrombie, heck half of my closet is from H&M/Cotton On/Zara which is the epitome of mass production- it just so happens they cater to a different customer from the AE girl- but the fact is that I chose early on to ask "why must I dress in AE when I could go to a thrift store, tweak a dress and make it my own?" sets many of us apart.
Creating, customizing, consuming and changing/adapting is what makes fashion so great. I love offering a viewpoint when I dress the way I do- can I do 'this' differently from what was seen before to create a temporary new aesthetic? It's a dialogue, a challenge and a form of expression that allows many of us to validate or question the idea of 'the classic' or 'what is beauty?' Here, Hong Kong girls dress modestly and their ideas of beauty is either the super sweet (trapeze t-shirt dresses with leggings even in 30 degree heat) or super fake (MK- dyed hair, fake eyelashes, blush that looks like family abuse with neon halter tops and short shorts). The way I dress now (or at least I hope) questions the idea of the cookie cutter Asian: how does one look good if one was born to stand out and not conform? How do I dress to fit my body type when I can't fit in the free size that all standard Asians fit into? Can I take what is considered 'sexy' and make it look good without sacrificing morals? Can I create even without a sewing machine? Can I make this for cheaper but make it look just as good?

All these questions come into play every day when I open my closet. These things, while most 'intellectuals' would snub their noses as saying that they are 'above and beyond' the frivolity of dress, I retort that what I love to do is bring into conscious what we do unconsciously daily. To me, nothing ignites my imagination or excites me more when someone takes something ordinary and makes it extraordinary through examination, questioning and exploration. Granted when I dress, there is no genius behind it, just that I know what I like for this moment is what's on my back, but just the fact that I'm trying to understand my own thought process really comes down to me trying to understand the unconscious portion of my thinking. That's why I love thrift stores. Not because things are cheap but because someone threw this away thinking it was garbage makes me happy. I like to think of the alternative and I love mini challenges like this: taking something that has no or little value, and creating value and beauty in them with a tweak here and there. Although there aren't any thrift stores here in HK that are really that sanitary, I'm trying to make do with what there is here namely street market products.

To be free in Christ is to be free from the idols that people worship. I have started to understand that particularly after coming here and realizing I don't fit in, trying to/failing and having God speaking to me that as His children none of us were meant to blend in. As was said in the movie 'Julie and Julia', "you couldn't fit in when you were born, literally, so you don't!" The simple truth is that even if I were not in fashion, the way we are meant to live our lives must be different from non-Christians. It's not even an option, it's a necessity. Now I am not saying that I am consuming my way to be more holy through dress, but I have broken free from a corrupted self-image that the industry has weaned me on. Being the thinnest girl is not my goal because I know validation does and should not come from the scale nor the flawlessness of my skin the reason to be called beautiful, but looking myself in the mirror and saying I was born like this because God wanted it so, makes all the difference. Once I began to realize that nothing is a mistake- not the two birthmarks on my legs which I used to want to get lasered off to the length of my fingers- but that everything has been orchestrated for a purpose, I found a confidence that being born different is really not that bad. People remember you for your idiosyncracies and your quirks- not because they fit a beauty mold but because they don't which sets you apart. Who ever has said "oh I like her because she's the same as everyone else?"

I like fashion not to seek validation but being free to celebrate the creativity and the beauty of which I was called to be. I do struggle with materialism, granted, because that is the evil part of my interest with fashion. It' a given. Yes I still, at times, wish I could lipo the fat out of my thighs (I guess my baking blog conflicts with this whole interest) or wish my skin was poreless (aka airbrushed) but knowing that the God I worship is not hanging in my closet reminds me that whatever purpose and passions we were given, we have full responsibility over until we are called Home.

I now understand the parable of the talents farther in depth than I ever have before. It's a sermon preached over and over again but you really don't understand the power of it until you come across a real life encounter. That real life encounter came when I had to do my thesis and when I started working. I had a decision to just barely graduate with a thesis that wasn't innovative and work mindlessly in an office, OR I could take this opportunity of doing whatever the heck I wanted for a thesis as long as I dreamt big and at work, seek other opportunities of having positive impact. God placed me here for a reason, I refuse to grumble about my situation and bury my talents like the worthless servant; I wish to find alternate purposes and explore my talents while waiting for God to show me the path I need to run. I don't want to meet God one day and have Him ask me, "so I gave the the abilities to write, bake and create... what did you do with them?" and answer, "oh really? I thought you were gonna give me the opportunity to serve as CEO to use my gifts so I put them on hiatus in the meantime!"
Anyway this has meandered beyond fashion and into the overarching theme of talents, patience and what it means to be free from this world.

And where best to start than in an industry most Christians have discarded as hopeless and useless to become leaders in and to see God work?

Oh another good article as a person who is passionate about sustainable design. BOO TO ANTHROPOLOGIE- you give off this idea of vintage furniture sold for high prices when in fact you trash unwanted merchandise: Click here!