Life on Manual

Dear Robyn, this is the picture I like of one of the Super Junior guys. keke


The model looks like Keira Knightley. So pretty

If there's one thing I learned this year it would be the unpredictability of life. My mother used to call me a "worry wart" as a child. I would start worrying about Tuesday swimming lessons four days earlier. My present roommate would often complain about how uptight I am about projects and homework that it makes her not work until last minute. I plan my near future according to my super far off future plans. For example back in Christmas I anticipated looking for an internship in HK so I had to start thinking about it in the fall and come Christmas get the job for the summer. Why in HK? Because I was planning to perhaps come back to HK after I graduate to find a job and to perhaps move to China in the next few years. Yes, I like to plan things.

But if you asked me last summer what I'd be doing a year from then, I would have never dreamed of this.

Do you know what I did yesterday?
I went to Mongkok with Robyn where we met up with Casey, yes, Casey for lunch. And then what innocently started off as an excursion to buy Robyn a skinny tie for her dad exploded into a four hour shopping spree. What triggered this mad frenzy was when Casey offhandedly said, "I need to buy some new clothes."
You came to the right person, Casey.
Robyn and I told him, "if you're serious we'd totally help you because we've been doing a lot of menswear browsing but have had no luck in finding an actual guy to dress."
I think this was really God-sent. LOL.

So off we went to look for chilling clothes for Casey.
And yeah we ended up at the menswear designer's store where we spent two hours talking, hanging out and watching Casey 'model' clothes for us. :P Bahaha. He ended up getting a customized suit jacket and dress shirt.
In the meanwhile we met another one of the menswear designer's (his name is Fai so I will just refer to his chinese name from now on)customers from Australia. The guy comes in and talks to Fai in canto but when he found out we were Canadian, he switched to english with a heavy Australian accent. I was thinking, "uh is that canto or english you're speaking because it sounds like neither." I noticed the bag he was carrying: a messenger bag that turns into a backpack. It was exactly the same one I was carrying that day but in a different colour. I literally shouted, "you have the same bag as me!!" to which he responded, "no you have MY bag. My bag is cooler"
Whatever!

Yep and we found out Fai's a sneakerhead with a room larger than his store containing more than 100 pairs of sneakers and 300 hats. I'd like to check out his closet. Plus he's straight but has no time for a gf. He asked us and basically Robyn's too busy and as for me I'm always surrounded by girls and guys who aren't interested in the opposite sex. lol.
I used to think that I wouldn't want to date anyone who was in my area of study but now after meeting him, if there was ever a guy like Fai who was Christian and spoke English, that would be so perfect.

Anyway we also found a super cool vest for Casey: double lapel with a removable third hoodie interior. Looks so awesome: I told him that if I saw him walking down the street with that vest on, I'd do a double take. lol. Just as he spreads the good news, he can spread the art of dressing to Toronto guys.
"hey Casey, the guys at CBC look up to you so if you dress like this they may think better of HK style dressing and will actually be more open to it."
BAHAHAH. If there are any Canadian guys reading this blog, you better take note.

I am convinced now that men have a change of heart at approximately age 24-5 when it comes to the art of dressing. I just got to be patient and wait for the fruit to ripen before plucking it off its tree. HAHA. Sigh I amuse myself way too easily in the creepiest ways.

Anyways the point of the post was that life is unpredictable. Who would have guessed I'd start taking an interest in the skinny 'fob' guys here? LOL. If someone told me "hey this time next year you're gonna be buying clothes for Casey with your cousin at this guy's store you frequent at least twice a week" I would have thought that would be highly improbable.
Today after church Robyn, Jer, Ang and I bought cakes and watched Death Note 2. Talk about random.

Okay I'm gonna shut up for now because I sound like a crazy woman. My posts are getting more ridiculous the longer I stay in HK. I wanted to write a serious entry but it turned into one big inside joke.
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Every time I say something off in canto, I hate myself for it. I feel less human here. And I hate it when people chide me or think their Canto is all that. When people say anything about it to me, the frustration and anger just flushes through my veins. Not being able to articulate what I feel kills me. My pride has always been in the ability to express thoughts through both the visual and the verbal.



You resemble Light in the uncanniest way.
I think I've gotten over this.

Menswear 101: masculinity derived from confidence not fashion

Discretion: I always feel like I have to justify what I say in my fashion posts because I know it sounds like the only thing I care about is appearances. But I don't mean to knock people's sense of fashion (or lack thereof) or put people down, I'm just presenting another view from what I've been seeing and experiencing.


Tee hee: You want ultimate menswear in effect? Here's Dolce and Gabbana Spring 2008. The stuff is very JT.


Then again I don't see why JT and D&G are so great if the Asians were already doing this in the first place.

I miss New York manicures.

Listening to: Jay Chou's Twilight Seventh Chapter. It's really an amazing combo of his regular pop with classical and rap. I love it. This song kinda sums up all my interests in music.

And this one's good too: 'It Started with a Kiss' OST, Jason & LaraSay You Love Me. Oh so fruity. XP

I couldn't sleep last night because my head was filled with ideas of shu cream, baking cakes and menswear. Sad. I woke up early this morning thinking about how to up the anti on a men's blazer. Sigh.

So yesterday I went to a press release for this collaboration between Lola, a cosmetic company, and the Children's Cancer Society. I went to work at 10:30 and had to draw on this shirt that Lola gave us. Long story short I did the design in an hour with fabric paint I bought a few days before. When I asked my designer what I would use to make the design, she said "pen and marker" and thoughts of gr 8 autographing t shirts on fuzzy cotton gave me enough chills to go out and buy paint. Yeah they looked good. There were a few celebs there: Christine Ng and Stephanie Cheng. One's a chinese series actress and the other a singer. Both of them I'm not really familiar with but I've probably seen a 'kek jap' or two from the actress.
The t shirt turned out better than I anticipated although I wanted to hurl when I saw my boss go up and tell them that it was her design. On one hand I understand she can't say "hey and my intern designed this for me..." but at the same time it annoys me that I'm not given any credit. I guess I was appeased when they unwillingly gave me a gift bag with one item in it: a lipstick that has this snap out mirror which I really like. And then as I was about to leave I discovered someone stole my $30HK umbrella! RAWR.

No worries I was going back to Mong kok anyway so I bought a new one. I think I should just live there because I'm there every other day. Robyn and I ended up chilling with the menswear designer for an hour and a half showing him our sketchbooks, placing orders and minding his store when he had to help customers in the change room. I purchased this one button vest for my brother: a thin navy black wool that I got to pick out from his swatchbook with two pockets on one side and a pocket on the other but I customized the single pocket so it has a double flap. The shoulders have the military cuffs and the placket I placed two slits on either side so you could slide a skinny scarf or tie through it for a punch of colour. The back has a separate back placket with two points. Very cool. The buttons are black and gold with a classic emblem and a small face. I love it. I'm going to force my brother to wear it. XD I swear I kept it to the minimum so it still looked 'manly' :P. For all the customizations, tailoring and alterations I got it for $270? We're friends so we get a discount. ;)
I want to swap my internship and work for him. It's a lot more fun. Here I get to watch customers try on clothes, give opinions on styling and colour: more people come in because Robyn and I are just sitting there. I think psychologically one enters a store where there are other customers: makes you feel less self conscious if there are others browsing. ;) So when we were just hanging out there, there was a continuous flow of customers coming in and out. Then there are the guys who bring their mothers/aunts/sisters/girlfriends. So funny. They remind me of my brother: kinda "meh" about everything while their mothers are nitpicking about the colour and the way the clothes hang on the body. But the look of the day: a customer who already had a white vest paired with a grey blue dress shirt, black skinny tie and the designer's black pants and a pair of white sneakers. HOT
Anyway there are times when I don't realize I'm smiling at people because I'm so in love with what they're wearing. The corners of my mouth twitch into a small smile and then I have to look away lest I look like a creep. Correction: I already look like a creep. :P
Anyway I want to work at his place now: it's tiny but I can sit on his stool all day talking to customers in my broken canto. I've realized a lot of the time the reason for me going to a certain place is not because of the location and the activities offered, but because I like the crowd that hangs around that area. In Toronto I love bubble teaing at Go for Tea and Destiny's on certain days because there are a lot of others around my age there. I love going to Mongkok and Causeway Bay because there are a lot of fashionable people to see. The reason why I'm not interested in say the clubbing scene is because the people don't really interest me. I go to places for the people. And the problem with my workplace now is that there are very few clients so I'm missing the salesperson-client interaction. I love talking to customers. It's so much fun especially when they're uncertain about what to try on and I get to help them.
Yep and the designer's super cool! Doesn't slouch, doesn't like to game (says it's a waste of time), is passionate about designing menswear and took initiative to start his own company. Why aren't there any Christians guys like this?
I know I sound smitten by him. I am somewhat am. He's like the male version of me in terms of his intensity in his passion for what he does.

He asked us what Canadian guys were like in terms of fashion. Um, baggy t shirts and.. cargo pants/jeans? I pointed to what he was wearing: a t shirt with sparkly beaded text, a long necklace and snug black cotton pants and watermelon green plastic Converse and told him all our friends would think he looked too feminine. He looked a little surprised and retorted that he couldn't talk to guys who weren't interested in clothes. Lol.

If the inside is what counts, then something caught fire when I got here. Before this trip I was okay with the Waterloo attire. I'm not against people who don't care about fashion but at the same time it REALLY HELPS. I guess it happened gradually: firstly menswear was on my radar thanks to japanese dramas, and then my skinny tie obsession.. then I saw Andrew for the first time after his four month stay in NY. Yeah that time at Congeee Wong for the photo shoot he entered in his Mong kok black trench coat made me think, "wow you look so much better! cleaner lines, less baggy and more cosmopolitan." It was just one coat but it became a symbol, if you will, that canadian guys can change if they put in the effort. XD Oh and also go to HK to get some clothes that actually fit them. Yeah go talk to my cousin: she's also been caught in this whole hk menswear look. XD Correction: just look at her sketchbook. KEKEKEKE!!!
For some reason something inside me 'woke up' when I began observing how people dressed here. As a Christian I'm always in this tug o' war between the focus on appearances vs character. Yet something about how a guy dresses reflects what he thinks about himself and sends me a message to me that he cares about how he presents himself as well as his availability. Lol. It makes no sense but in my head it does. Trust me, if you put the designer next to any Chinese Canadian, I'd notice the former first. The typical baggy shirt and jeans guy makes me think that he's bored, just fell out of bed and decided to make an appearance for the heck of it. It doesn't make me think "hey you're an open, friendly person to talk to!"
Sorry the hoodie and sweatpants combo doesn't do it for me: I won't judge people because of their outfit changes but at the same time it inevitably sends me one message or another. If the inside is what matters then why are all the girls ga-ga over Timberlake? Because he dresses well.

While most NA guys would probably say the designer's clothes are too feminine and 'gay looking', he has the ability to wear it in a way that makes them look masculine. He looks as if he owns the clothes and the clothes don't own him. And that ability to still appear masculine despite the feminine connotations in his fashion sensibility shows confidence. When I look at him I don't think "gay!" and that's saying something as a person who goes to fashion school. Even when I look at the stuff he sells I wonder how to make it look like it's not from the women's section: he styles them very well. I think a lot of guys would look good in his clothes however the reason he can carry them off and a lot can't is because he wears them with ease. Stick one of his blazers, vests or dress shirts on the typical Canadian guy, he'd immediately slouch his shoulders, look away and fumble nervously. Clothes with a strong character and taste require wearers who can match them in intensity and personality. Put 'flamboyant' clothes on a insecure guy will look awkward and out of place.
They say, "I don't look good in these kinds of clothes."
I just say "you look good in them. It's not an issue about your body size. You already look good: you just need a confidence to match it."

I wish my canto was better so I could talk to him more. He'd make one really cool friend. I was looking at his shoes and saying how much I liked them, he points to one pair and says "Undercover."
While probably most people would ask "why are they under cover?" I just grinned.

Designer in Conflict: Pride and Humility// Self Image

Iono why I like this pic. Just.. pretty.

Omg so I found the sermons from my church in HK posted up here:
The Sevens

On Revelations and the churches and a slew of other sermons from the past. I highly recommend listening to them because the pastor is awesome.
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I'm addicted to this Usher sounding song by JJ Lin: K O
It makes me want to work. I'm tired of listening to Norah Jones in the shop.

I'm not sure where pride and humility fall into place when it comes to interning/designing. On one hand I am happy that my designer is giving me this opportunity to help out at her shop. She's given me this project to undertake: the Mcdonald's charity house needs a new t shirt as a promotional tool to be sold in efforts to fundraise the new renovations. They'll also be worn by the volunteers at their October gala.
So we traveled to Shatin and after a run through of all the designs my friend and I did, they selected this particular one I did. I'm pretty happy that they liked my stuff enough to want it to be be placed on their t shirt. However I know my designer is going to take the credit for the design.
On one hand I am happy that I got a chance to do something that will not just stay on the page but actually 'come to life'. On the other I dislike the idea that MY design is going to be 'mistaken' as someone else's. It's mine, my idea, my effort and my work. Why is someone else taking all the credit for what I worked hard for? Yet I understand the fashion industry is like this: Donna Karan does not design all her DKNY stuff. The industry is broken down so that you have the 'figure head' at the top and a slew of designers employed under the main designer who create clothes to his or her trademark aesthetic. I understand that I am here to work for her but at the same time I dislike the idea that she takes credit for all the clothes/uniforms that my coworkers design FOR her. It makes me a little angry when I hear her talking to a conference room full of people that she designed this and she designed that when in fact I know it wasn't her to begin with.

I'm not sure where pride and humility fall in the realm of art and design. Do I say nothing and let everyone think she designed something she had no part in or do I stand up for what I put my all into?
How do you know when to say "I will do this job because I will see everything as above me" or "I want to do something better because I know I can do better."?
*

Whenever I come to HK, I struggle with body image issues. Being surrounded by skinny asian girls makes me depressed: I've written about it before. What makes it worse is that more than half of the guys here are skinnier than me too. That's just messing with my head. My grandmother thinks I'm trying to lose weight because I don't eat enough to satisfy her standard. Yet the other day I wanted to try on a jacket and the saleslady tells me I have a "meaty upper body" so I'd have to try a medium. No one has ever told me my upper body is large because I'm actually really small on top in relation to the rest of my body. While I'm considered skinny in North American standards, I'm perceived as, as my grandmother said, "not fat but not skinny" in Asia.
I'm known as the "wah lei ho go ah sau yee lei hoi yee jeuk do keui loh!"
(translation: you are so tall you can wear it!"
Or the girl with size 40 feet. Although size 9 is not uncommon in North America, it is extremely hard to find anything larger than a size 8 here. Depressing.

I always feel too big, too tall, too 'fat', too curvy in Hong Kong. Even my workplace carries mainly size 2 clothes which fits the designer fine but not me. Loving yourself is hard when you see that no one really accepts you as you are physically.

Romanticholic

That's what it says on my t shirt. Nice and undecorated: just a label sewn across the chest. Ironically the big bold black print on a filmy unbleached t shirt does not reflect the perception of a romantic person. Despite the love connotations it may bring, I romanticize a lot of stuff most people don't. Romanticism comes to me in saturated colours, far off compositions, dewy textures, diffused light, sheer layers. Romanticism can come in the grimy form of the chinese wet markets or the neon lit streets of HK in the prime heat. I find a lot of things 'romantic' thanks to Wong Kar Wai and a slew of photographers. Not your typical chocolates and roses.

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work they put between us,
You know it doesn't keep us warm
...
All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside

This has been going on a loop.

Post-SATC has made me want to deviate back to my former 'la-la land closet' self. You know.. the stuff that makes most men go "huh?" and most women go "I could never pull that off."
For the past three weeks I have been shopping half the time. My definition of 'shopping' does not equate to spending; most of it is browsing/observing/looking/people watching and purchasing here and there.
For the past three weeks I have been working at the boutique surrounded by cheongsam, chiffon gowns and print day dresses.
In the past three weeks I have gained 10lbs of magazine weight. I have the Chinese Vogue, the Chinese local magazine called 'Jessica', the urban style magazine called 'Touch' and 'Milk' and a slew of runway/couture ones not found in North America.

And I'm scared. My cousin and I returned to two stores I really liked back in Christmas (uh sad but the owner remembers us.. she said she thought of me yesterday because she had a client who was chinese and spoke english T-T What a strong impression I must make on people. She also remembers exactly what we bought six months ago). This time I went through the racks in about 10 minutes. Nothing. My cousin says to me, "back then you were so excited to see the clothes for sale but now your style has totally changed."

It sounds silly to be stressing over such a minute thing: "So you can't find clothes that you like... and your style and taste has changed. So what? Fashion is fickle and the trends come and go. You'll jump onto one thing sooner or later."
But that's not it. The reason why I'm stressing over this is because I'm not inspired anymore. And if I'm not inspired anymore, how am I supposed to design? I've been going out, looking around and seeing what's available but nothing has made my head spin. Nothing takes my breath away. Nothing has made me go "OMG I WANT THAT! HOW DID THEY EVER THINK OF THAT?!" It's more or less: "oh I've seen that. Okay I saw this Christmas and now it's on sale. Okay another spin on the neon colour trend."

Am I supposed to be sick of fashion so soon. This is my major. This is what I'm supposed to love. Yet I'm looking around at the abundance of nothing. There are heaps and heaps of clothes here in Hong Kong but nothing is giving me that adrenaline rush. Where'd the creativity go? It's too early in the game to be uninspired. Well, at least I know I don't want to go into pure fashion. It's kinda dull.

I think ever since that incident with the whole clubbing thing where my friends where saying how I'm such a grandma with nothing really appropriate to wear for such events.. I've been trying to reject that part of me that thinks in a 'prim and proper'
It's why I've stopped wearing puff sleeves, lace and ruffles although now my workplace 'requires' it because of my boss' aesthetic. I hate being labeled especially prim and proper. Oh the connotations. It's why I went the total opposite direction with hoodies, t shirts and shorts. All I've been buying these days are t shirts and obnoxious neon cardigans. If you know Sam, she doesn't wear t shirts. EVER. Except working out.
Though I don't and probably never will like clubbing, I guess all I can say now is that I want to bring sexy back which was pretty much non existent in my self. I'm searching for a confidence that can't be bought and worn. But because I express my thoughts and ideas through clothing, I do wear my heart on my sleeve. If you want to know what I'm thinking, just look at what I'm wearing. It gives a nice compact summary.
I know this makes no sense: it sounds like a lot of self pompous jibberish that is just a lame excuse to become a shopaholic. But yeah. I'm feeling very restless these days.
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Thank God.
$27,740 of my tuition of 2008-2009 has been paid thanks to scholarships/grants and loans.
And since I got the sustainability scholarship too that bumps it up to: $29,740.

So I've calculated how much I'd owe the bank/school in loans after I grad: $21,125.
That's not too bad. I've never had that much money but it doesn't seem out of control either. I think with time, money management and patience I could get it all paid off.

Lately I've been trying to figure out what to do with life after I graduate. After talking to family and people in the industry, I'm wondering if I should become a buyer for some large company. A buyer basically picks what goes into the store each season. It's kind of a hybrid between business, design and management, fashion and stylist. It would be a good networking opportunity as well as give me more insight on the workings of a boutique/department store. I think I've had enough of small companies, I want to go big next. Maybe corporate won't be so bad after all.

I <3 New York// Love Keeps No Record of Wrong

Weekend: Robyn and I went to Guangzhou, China with my aunt for a couple of days. The goal was to see a garment factory there so I could get a feel of what it would be like in preparation for my senior thesis. All I can say is that we don't pay enough for the clothes we buy. It baffles me to know that the manual labour there is worth only pennies.


100+ year old part of Guangzhou. These historical buildings will be replaced by high rises soon.


Yep it flooded. Rained A LOT. The roads were like rivers. Correction: the roads were rivers.

I<3 New York
I saw two movies the past week: The Incredible Hulk and SATC aka Sex and the City both which were set in New York City.
Incredible Hulk: Saw it with Robyn and a bunch of random friends. It reminded me of a super steroid version of WWF. Lack of character development and had some ultra cheese along with pure illogical 'fantasy' in it (clapping kills fire?). I also didn't like how they ended it- I don't want to say what happened but I thought it wasn't well concluded. Btw, NYC taxi drivers are not as crazy as they portray them to be in the movies. -_- You want crazy? Go to Guangzhou. Now that is crazy. To sum it up, Incredible Hulk= King Kong. 6/10 stars
SATC: Watched it at work: went to the bank Credit Suisse today to help with my boss' presentation and then the event follow up was to see the movie. Besides all the sex and 'jokes', I can only comment from a designer point of view. All in all the movie just tried way too hard to make Carrie Bradshaw's life materialistically appear fabulous. All the brand name dropping got a little tiresome as well as the panning shots of Tiffany boxes, Hermes, LV bags etc. And in every scene the four girls are dressed up in something different and in garments that only look good in editorial spreads. Come on now, fur and tulle coat with Balenciaga four inch heels? -_- Incredible. Though I must give myself a pat on the back when I was able to recognize the majority of the wedding dresses that were featured.
Plot wise there was a lot of dead air. There was one five second shot that did touch me; Charlotte's defense for Carrie against Mr. Big. Now wasn't that obvious: I seem to be a sucker for friend-friend scenes. I understand that forgiveness is not a fast process but there were some stagnant scenes they could have just cut out. The producers tried to jam in as many glamour scenes as possible: shopping at Gucci, going to NY fashion week, trips to Mexico.. it all just seemed a little much. I mean we all know how wonderful it must be to be running around the Meatpacking District in a slinky sequined dress with four friends but the point is is the company, not so much the perceived glamorous lifestyle. After all, in the end it's all about the friendships, not the clothes. That message got a little lost when your eyes are trying to focus on what latest piece Carrie Bradshaw is sporting. 6/10 stars

I <3 New York.
So when I watch New York based movies, I hardly focus on the foreground and the character at hand. Like in the movies just mentioned, the majority of the time I was trying to figure out where they were geographically in the city.
But nevertheless it's a graphic tee slogan I've seen everywhere here. There's something about New York that seems to fascinate a lot of people. Perhaps for Hong Kong-ers it's the perceived exoticism and glamour woven into the city's fabric. To me, Hong Kong is very similar to New York so it is beyond me when I'm walking around Mongkok and all I see are these shirts. I guess where places a lot of people only see on film, I've been to.
As Carrie said, girls come to New York for two reasons: labels and love. My only answer to that is a roll of the eyes. I am obviously not a successful case study.
I didn't come to New York to fall in love but I have started to fall in love with New York.
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Love Keeps no Record of Wrong

Two things in life that have reliability issues: technology and friends. If someone could please produce a computer that can stand an upload of 100+ pictures and seven internet explorer windows running at the same time please let me know. And please, if you know some reliable people, please introduce me to them. I consider myself a pretty patient and understanding person. Love is supposed to cover a multitude of sins right? I'm at the brink of throwing a tantrum these days. I really want to start screaming at a person I call a 'friend'. Is it wrong to have expectations within friendships because I've gone from a few to zero. Now I expect nothing from them because all they do is end up disappointing me. But how insulting is it to know that your friend has no expectations from you because of their lack of faith and trust in you? I know people aren't perfect but OMG. If you say you're free on this day and I call the day before and no one picks up.. what do you think you should do? That's right, call me back. Okay so I finally get ahold of you only to realize in fact, you can't make it. That's just swell. This is the THIRD time within the past two weeks this has occured.
I don't know anymore. This isn't even with just one friend. It's a whole slew of them. And it's getting pretty pathetic. Am I just hanging around the wrong people? Attracting the wrong group of friends? There is a lot of... frustration stirring within me and I've become extremely resentful. One friend asked me for pictures. It was my fault for not sending them right away but as soon as I asked her how she was doing, she immediately replied that she wouldn't give me an update until I sent her pictures. That really offended me so I decided to not send her pictures nor speak to her. I'm a person, I'm not interested in what you can get out of me, I'm interested in you getting to know me and I in you.
I've started to not talk to people because their lack of initiation is driving me up the wall. You may wonder why I can be so open on my blog, well, it's because I equate reliability with trust. If you aren't reliable even to meet with me, why makes me think you are trustworthy enough for me to confide in you? There are so many people I'd love to get close to, unfortunately their flakiness is the one reason why I hold them at arm's length.

Looking back if I was ever asked about which boyfriend I'd pick: either one that's always there for me or one that is pretty busy but surprises me occasionally, I think my answer would now be the first one if the latter was a flakes because I've experienced way too many of those in my life that I'd care to indulge in.

Last Friends

Vogue..? love the colours in this picture.

It's raining yet again. Yesterday I was the maid for my designer: I cleaned out her entire two display cases of jewelry. She just buys stuff she likes and sticks it all in there so you can imagine how much crap there is. I tried to eliminate a lot of it but she wanted it all back in the cases so I had to resort to hiding some of the jewelry in several glass bowls and such. But now it looks so much better: I created 'themes' for each shelf according to colour. It's true, I was born to do window display/aesthetic store designing. When I started looking for display boxes and models and tried to think of ways to incorporate tea cups and a lot of random ugly jewelry, I felt like I was back at my New York apartment. Yeah so from 12-9 I was cleaning out the jewelry cases and shelves, rearranged the front desk area (found an old sewing machine for a nice visual display), did some interior design drawing work for her, helped out a few customers and 'designed' my own dress. She wants me to design a garment to wear in her store except currently my style does not reflect her garments. Hopefully today we can run through the charity tee shirt project because seriously I've spent about at least 10 hours on this project: researching, sketching, drawing and inking all the graphics in. I'm proud of how they turned out so I'm hoping I can show her them today.


'Prisoner of Love' instrumental version from j-drama series

Ruka, you remind me so much of myself.
The way you love people and the way you keep things to yourself just like me.
All that was narrated was all that I realized in the past year.

He said, oh I thought you were the strong and independent type.
I laughed and said he was fooled.

The truth is that though on one hand I value this blog as a source of reflection and communication, on the other it's quite worthless if I can't say these things face to face. It's the things that matter most to me which sound so foolish in person. When the words slide of my lips, I instantly regret saying anything at all. Thus all that is written tends to jump around the things that concern me most. I never say it like it is, because it is out of my nature to do so.

Dramas like 'One Litre of Tears' don't tend to move me. Stories about lovers are not my cup of tea. But episode 8 of my most recent j drama drug was the best. Stories of camaraderie, support, strength in weakness, and unspoken acts of love make my eyes prickle.

It makes me so happy when I see two of my friends whom had little to do with each other, become good friends. She told me that they've been having sleepovers, going out to dance, eating out and watching movies together. She told me she was the close girlfriend she asked God for. She told me they were going to start a Bible study together. I miss them- although I only hung out with them twice, I miss their friendship.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

"Lei hai mm hai mai bei lei gau lam pung yao ah?"
Are you buying for your boyfriend?

Why does it have to be a boyfriend? I have a brother and a bunch of guy friends. I think the most embarrassing thing is that I'm not really buying for anyone in particular. I just make a beeline for every menswear store in HK and start ga-ga ing over every single piece. Double faced blazers, pleated shirts with faux ties, jersey vest hoodies, tailored vests with interesting detailing, skinny ties, graphic tees.... We saw this one suit jacket that has a vest buttoned onto it which could be worn as a neat collar or just the vest itself. So cool! Too bad it was 'expensive'!
So Robyn and I were walking in my now favourite mall in Mongkok when we spotted this one salesguy in the shop with this awesome blazer jacket. I asked if I could take a picture of him:


GAH!!! I just love how he takes a rather dressy blazer and rolls up the sleeves, pairs it with a red cap, plaid and pleated shirt with dark washed denim and sneakers. SO COOL! He carries it off sooooo well.

He understands so well that it's not only your entrance that is important, because exiting a room can be just as alluring. Especially if you have something like this on the back of your blazer:

That's one hot zipper! XD
Any guy with that jacket would turn my head. Not in a gay way either. XD
Anyway we spent a good half hour talking to this guy. When he was 19 he saved up his money as a stock/salesman at a boutique in the upper levels of the mall and then opened up his own store because he didn't like what he saw in the menswear department. He's 24 years old and has been running this store for five years now. Impressive. Very impressive. I fell in love with every single thing there. Frick. Blazers with a simple slit in the front placket to slide a scarf in (see the left jacket in the first image). Sparkly black piping along black blazers to add just a little oomph. He showed me and Robyn his other designs and catalogs full of Chinese frogs that I could get in Sham Shui Po. I ordered the blazer that you see in the first picture. So many reasons why I would buy it:
1)I like to support local designers and to buy into their vision.
2)He only makes about two pieces per design. It's almost like buying couture without the $100,000 price tag.
3)Everything is made-to-order: that means you can't just buy and take the item back with you, you have to order it two weeks in advance and he makes it to your specifications in China.
4)You can customize according to your own taste. Don't like the placement of the pocket? Change it. Prefer a charcoal grey over black? That can be changed too.

And it only cost $40CDN. That's cheaper than getting a blazer at H&M. aerawknrawewj! The only problem is is that I don't know anyone who would wear his stuff. I think a lot of guys would look good in it but I don't think they'd have the confidence to wear it. I don't think I even need a boyfriend now.. I just need about five guys who are willing to let me change their wardrobe for them at their monetary expense. That would be sooooooooooo perfecttttttttttt. Anyway.
Coming to HK has just made me realize... WHY ARE NORTH AMERICAN GUYS SO LAZY?! Okay I know it's partially because of the culture. I'm not asking for everyone to turn metrosexual but it would be nice if they dressed a little nicer. You know.. a little cleaner, a little more tailored, a little more style and edge. Less bedhead and baggy you know? We can eliminate the man bag, the hair gel, the draped shirts. I just find guys who wear blazers soooo appealing. XD Robyn can testify to that.
I got my blazer fixation yesterday in Causeway Bay. Jer, Robyn, Pui and I were people-watching from above in a mall (yes we're creepy like that) and there was this one particular guy with a silver grey blazer with black detailing all over. Sooooo good looking. I want his picture. He was so hot! And I mean that from a fashion standpoint. To see someone carry a very specific style with confidence is very very appealing. See usually the plaid and pleated shirt the designer's wearing would make me think "gay" but his attitude and how he carried himself would say otherwise.

It's funny to see how my fashion tastes shift gears. This time last year I was 'obsessed' over babydoll dresses, lace and anything extremely feminine in a doll-like vintage fashion. This year due to the influence of ABDC, the Olympics, athletic/neon trends, I've swung to the exact opposite: bright colours, shorts, graphic tees. You know.. the whole urban look. In just two weeks, besides practicing my cantonese, I've become fluent in Japanese urban/city brands like Base Control, b+ab, D-Mop, Y-3, Hyoma, Graphin, As You Know It, CDG etc. It's fun- while most people find that they should stick to one style, the one that all their friends see them in, I like experimenting with different styles.
Yet lately I've become really frustrated with womenswear. It's really going nowhere. While half the female population is still stuck on the neck bows, frilly dresses and babydoll looks, the other half is preoccupied with jersey knits, t shirts, short shorts and knee high socks. I'm in that stage where I am neither here nor there: I don't really like the whole girly look anymore nor do I like jersey and the entire tee and jeans look. Jersey pills easily plus if I am to spend money on clothing, it has to look like I actually spent money on it meaning that it should have something unique about it. And lately everything has been pretty dull which is why I've probably deviated to looking and buying menswear clothing. All the stuff I've bought for myself so far are from the cheap women's markets in Mongkok or Causeway Bay. The most expensive pieces I've bought are all for guys. lol.

Not sure who I'm even gonna give the stuff to. The most special pieces are the ones that I'd love if a guy wore it but I know there everyone would go into hiding as soon as I pull it out of my suitcase. But menswear here is delicious. HK has singlehandedly changed my mind about considering opening a menswear line in the future.
After doing a lot of people watching I've realized why guys look better than guys in... Canada. Whenever I see the males at any kind of dressy event, they've never really looked good. And at the time I didn't understand why that was the case. Now I know why! When it comes to suits the Western style in Canada is tailored to the larger Caucasian guy. The reason why Asian guys in Asia look so good in their suit jackets is because the jacket is designed for them: the button is lower to elongate their torso, the armhole is higher up and the suit is generally more fitted with less padding. I examine some North American guys in their jackets and they look as if they're kids dressed up in their dad's business suit: it's overall too big and almost swallows up their entire frame. I recommend every Asian guy in Canada to get a suit jacket made in Hong Kong. Plus there are more unique details you could add onto them with more youthful looks. Trust me. I'm in fashion. XD
Wow I cant' believe I pulled that one.
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-A lot has happened the past few days: camping out at my cousin's 'place', a lot of eating and 'shopping', went to get a facial, a ton of walking and people watching. Got to see that old friend I bumped into at Times Square a week ago and we hit it off talking about movies, j dramas, actors and clothing brands. She knew the clothing store I bought that blazer from since her friend gets his clothes from there too. So funny. I showed her the pic of the designer and she starts laughing her head off.
-My cousin to my left, New York friend to my right, and Canadian friend next to my cousin we worshiped in the same church in Hong Kong. At that moment I realized that though I see my life fractured where each geographical world is its own separate entity, He could bring us all together even for the briefest moment. Although I see my life in New York distinct from that in Toronto which is wholly different from the life I had in Hong Kong, God has the power to bring all those things together. And I felt so grateful at that moment that for once all those worlds intersected; be it friend or family, city or suburbia, young adult or college student. Worship itself was wonderful: the lyrics of the chosen songs helped me to re examine my heart, my priorities and the issues I've been dealing with lately. The icing on the cake: everyone else enjoyed the service and the church too! My NY friend told me how she was really frustrated that it took so long to get to the church but as soon as she got there, she thought it was worth it. I was pretty happy to hear that.
-"Love keeps no record of wrong." I was shuttling this verse in my mouth yesterday as the pastor was preaching. It'd be interesting to hear a sermon based on this one line because I struggle with letting go of the wrongs people have done me and I end up focusing solely on the negative. I'm just really.. annoyed. I hate flakes. I hate them so much. Why aren't there anymore reliable people in this world?
-Absence makes the heart grow fonder. How true. Always wanting what I can't get and not liking the things that are attainable.

First Day @ Work// Yeen Yeung Cha//Absolute Boyfriend

PRETTY XD

First Day @ Work
So I had my first day of work.
It was rather interesting.
Besides my splitting headache it was a pretty slow day. I worked from 12:30 till 9:30. General duties included steaming a load of clothes, cleaning up the entire store, acting as sales clerk and assisting customers, helping with fittings etc. Other than the normal stuff, I have to do a trend report and then I'm assigned to a 'client' who I'd have to design for based on her needs. While the client is an actual client of the boutique, she wouldn't necessarily be buying something from our proposed collection. As a critic she'd look at the designs and then give us her view on it. My friend is designing for a 30 year old lawyer while I'm put in charge of a 32 year old bride-to-be. That includes the wedding gown, a cheongsam and an evening dress as well as bridesmaids. It's pretty sweet becuase I started researching quite a while ago for Joyce's upcoming wedding so I got a lot of background on designing wedding attire. Anyway I have to do market research which requires me to go into expensive stores to look at their evening wear. Although it is a lot of fun I don't usually like going into Gucci, Valentino, Prada, Armani etc, because it's a little pointless if I'm not buying. Luckily I brought my Valentino couture book with me here as a reference. Ugh I regret not bringing any of my art supplies here.
Anyway the other project is designing a graphic tee for McDonald's charity house: I'm actually excited for this one because I've been looking at a ton of graphic tees lately. I'm usually staring at people's chests here examining the silkscreen image. :S I know I come off as a creep- I can't help it. It's their fault for wearing such cool shirts! Anyway yeah I already have a few ideas on how to design a cool tee for both sexes to be worn by volunteers and perhaps a few Chinese celebs who will be at the opening. yeyeyeyeye!
Okay another project I'm kinda doing is really... odd. As designers we usually design for the living. So guess who I am designing for? That's right. Dead people. But due to confidentiality reasons I don't think I will divulge much here. All I can say is that old people are hilarious as critics because they're so blunt and so cute! Personally I think, hey if we're designing for dead people it's not like they have a say in what we design for them so we can design whatever we want! XD Jk!

Today I met a woman who works at Credit Suisse as well as the General Manager of the Peninsula Hotel. They opened some salon thing in both the HK and NY buildings so she needed some evening looks. Her best friend told us they were gonna see 'We Will Rock You' so I was able to put my two cents into that since I saw it last night. It's all about networking these days. Honestly. I need to make that business card for myself soon: I have a pretty neat idea that I want to try out.
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Yeen Yeung Cha
Otherwise known as Yin-Yang tea: a mix of coffee and tea. I think that's what it is. I only tried it once with Andrew.
Today one of my coworkers asked which one of us interns was better at Chinese. When it comes to these kinds of questions, I really dislike answering them because they just seem so pompous. What am I supposed to say? "Yeah I'm better than her at Chinese"? I'm generally a proud person and often times I do things to keep my pride in tact but when it comes to these really tricky cultural questions, I often avoid answering altogether.
But it hurts when you hear your friend telling her that "Sam can't speak Chinese."
It's never one lash that kills a person- it often comes in the thousands when the person bleeds profusely and dies from the loss of blood.
I've been mulling over the reason why my Chinese isn't as great as... great as a fob. It's partially because I'm a third culture kid that's never really soaked in just one culture. You can ask me what I think about HK vs NY vs TO and I could go on and on yet I'm no local to any one city. I pride myself in having a broader perspective on life and culture than most people because traveling has been in my blood since I was young. I have no desire to teach abroad in Asia or go backpacking in Europe. I've done Malaysia, Singapore, Japan, Indonesia, Beijing/Guangzhou/Shanghai/Guilin, Thailand, Kosovo, Paris, Hong Kong, Rome, Nice, Monaco etc: some places numerous times too. In just twenty years I can say that I've lived in three major cities in the world. I don't have that same view of what is exotic compared to most people. Although I do find Japanese culture interesting it annoys me a little when people think it's the most awesome and the coolest culture in the world. Get a life. Grow up. Get out of the house. If you think it's so exotic and cool, try living there and you'll probably see it in a totally different light. In the same way there are a few people who live in another country thinking that they have so many locals as friends when in fact those locals just see them as 'exotic'. But familiarity is the death to exoticism.
As a kid growing up in Toronto/HK, I always wanted to be white. I prided myself in HK in that I was fluent in English. So yeah I'd speak English wherever I went because I thought it gave me the upperhand.
I've realized that my Cantonese is not amazing not because I don't know the words, it's just that my tongue is not used to that certain way of talking. It starts tripping over words that sound so perfectly clear in my head but the muscle realizes it's become weak and can't deliver.
At the same time I've started speaking only in cantonese to my parents and it seems that I can talk really fast and fluidly to them. And only to them. I'm so afraid of people judging me that when it comes to conversing with others beyond my parents, it takes me a long time to say things that I would try without hesitation if they were mom or dad. My dad said to me that in just one week he's noticed a vast improvement in my canto since I'm forced to speak it here.
So when she said those words, it stung. It's at those times which I am so tempted to lash out at people about their English. I couldn't help but feel a little smug when she said 'week' in English rather than Cantonese when talking to a photographer. I know I shouldn't feel this way but at the same time I'm sick and tired of people laughing at me that I'll find some way of deriving satisfaction from my cross-cultural traveler background. I won't verbally say anything, I'll just keep it to myself so that it makes dealing with them more tolerable. It's the one thing I dislike about myself that I like.
I know I sound really bitter. I am. Not at anyone in particular, I'm just pissed and tired that I keep getting the same annoying comments with a 'weakness' of mine that I'm already aware of. I don't need to be beat over the head a million times with the same issue.
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I remember having a conversation with a friend about dating and marriage. Within our group of seven or so friends she said I'd be the least likely to marry first nor would I marry the first person I date. We'll see about that.
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Absolute Boyfriend
Sometimes you don't realize the impact of your actions until years later.
Seven years ago I wrote and illustrated a short children's book for my gr8 teacher as a Christmas present. I remember she loved collecting children's illustrated books so I decided to make one for her as a gift. She loved it so much that she got a publisher friend to 'publish' it (aka bind it) and presented three copies for myself and one to the school I was at.
Fast forward seven years, just half an hour ago a high school friend told me she was volunteering at my school. It was reading time and two gr 2 girls asked her to read this particular book again. She opens it to find my name printed on the inside. Apparently it's pretty worn down from being checked out of the library too many times and there's a waiting list for it. I'm kinda surprised that it became such a hit; it's not that the illustrations are stunning and the story itself was pretty simple. I can't remember exactly what it was about save that there was a selfish angel who somehow learned her lesson. Anyway I'm quite flattered that it's become a well loved book at my old elementary school. It seems that people know me for that book.

I've become addicted to this one j-drama currently being aired in Japan called 'Zettai Kareshi' aka 'Absolute Boyfriend' (yes we love the translation!). Basically it's about a loner girl who signs up for a robot boyfriend customized to her ideal male type. Ideally it is supposed to eliminate all heartache and fulfill every girl's dream in a guy. We obviously know how the story ends. It's a predictable one with a very typeset cast (copy+paste Domyouji from HYD) but I find it very appealing. Perhaps more on a personal level, not that I'm looking for some mechanical relationship, but I identify well with the main character. She's very similar to me in terms of personality if you remove all the Japanese kawaii-ness from it. The decisions she makes in certain incidents are relatable and how she reacts is exactly what I'd do if I was in her situation.
She likes to bake and she also has a sweet tooth. Hey we have something in common! But more importantly she often bakes for people and I guess that's where I see a 'mutual' understanding. As the main male character says, she is one to knit a sweater for someone she likes. And she's also too serious when it comes to relationships. That really does not sound too far off. Except I hate knitting. But you get the point.
And yay, episode seven is finally up! I'll save it for tomorrow and treat myself to it. XD

Street Style Commentary

RIP YSL.

Today my uncle left back to Toronto. My friend and I decided to scour the shops in Mongkok alone this time. I tell you I hate shopping with people who don't like shopping so last time when the two guys came, I just felt bad for them and so I didn't even bother looking in to any of the stores. I memorized the boutiques I wanted to go to and went back today: the majority of them being graphic tee shops and menswear boutiques.
I bought a skinny skinny tie today in hopes of injecting the Asian style into some guy friend back at home. But then I tried it on because I was trying to learn how to tie a tie and... I think I'm gonna keep it. XD
On my way home from Central I saw this guy with a skinny tie, jeans and collared shirt. I couldn't suppress a smile because he looked so good! I think coming to Asia has opened a whole new dimension of looking at menswear creatively. The gender lines are less 'definitive' here: draped menswear with cowl necks and deep v-cuts are available. Guys and girls alike LOVE shopping; there are just as many menswear stores as there are ladies' clothing in some plazas. Guys here have what Americans call 'man bags': either large slouchy duffle-like bags (ex Gucci) or the sleek messenger bags (I love the Lacoste ones that I've seen a couple of guys wearing around).

Trends I've noticed:
1) Marshmallow-like (puffy) trucker hats perched on the crown of the head. Don't push it all the way down so that it's snug because that ain't cool on this side of the town.
2) Large puffy sandals. I asked my Mongkok 'tour guide' and he said they're some brand called 'Crystal'. They look like plain black guy sandals injected with steroids.
3) Commes Des Garcons 'Play' t shirt. Enough said. I've seen a million of them people-watching in Causeway Bay.
4) Loud graphic tees: preferably with a random slogan.
5) Birkenstocks: errr they're not really popular in the States but I've seen both sexes wear them in a multitude of colours. Or fake ones at the least.
6) Graniph tees: similar to threadless.com, designer tees by artists.
7) Checkered scarves: for both guys and girls.
8) Oversized black nerd glasses (look at 'Edna Mode' or think 'stereotypical art snob' for general reference. You get the picture... no pun intended)

Yep, tune in next time after I do even more people-watching! XD

So who said Japanese street style is any better than the Chinese? No I didn't take these (I wish because I'd love to become friends with them. jk!): I got them off a Chinese street style blog. It's also a little sad that I know where some of these pictures were taken. Exactly which mall on what street too. I've obviously been hanging in Causeway Bay way too many times:


I want to know where this guy got his jacket. I want to steal it.


Not exactly sure what I like about this outfit- it's just really sharp with the black and white contrast plus it includes all the elements I like in menwswear: bag, graphic tee, blazer... Tailored but urban.


Wow this is exactly the Causeway Bay style I'm talking about: Comme Des Garcons 'Play' shirt, Gucci bag, denim. This is him- this is the stencil.


Or like him: loud Henry Holland-esque t shirt, the woven checkered scarf.


Let's throw a girl into the mix shall we? Now this is what I call a 'power couple.' Lol. Although I think the guy looks better than the girl. That's some awesome anime hair he's got.

Alright, until next time. I'm tired!