Romanticholic
That's what it says on my t shirt. Nice and undecorated: just a label sewn across the chest. Ironically the big bold black print on a filmy unbleached t shirt does not reflect the perception of a romantic person. Despite the love connotations it may bring, I romanticize a lot of stuff most people don't. Romanticism comes to me in saturated colours, far off compositions, dewy textures, diffused light, sheer layers. Romanticism can come in the grimy form of the chinese wet markets or the neon lit streets of HK in the prime heat. I find a lot of things 'romantic' thanks to Wong Kar Wai and a slew of photographers. Not your typical chocolates and roses.
These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work they put between us,
You know it doesn't keep us warm
...
All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside
This has been going on a loop.
Post-SATC has made me want to deviate back to my former 'la-la land closet' self. You know.. the stuff that makes most men go "huh?" and most women go "I could never pull that off."
For the past three weeks I have been shopping half the time. My definition of 'shopping' does not equate to spending; most of it is browsing/observing/looking/people watching and purchasing here and there.
For the past three weeks I have been working at the boutique surrounded by cheongsam, chiffon gowns and print day dresses.
In the past three weeks I have gained 10lbs of magazine weight. I have the Chinese Vogue, the Chinese local magazine called 'Jessica', the urban style magazine called 'Touch' and 'Milk' and a slew of runway/couture ones not found in North America.
And I'm scared. My cousin and I returned to two stores I really liked back in Christmas (uh sad but the owner remembers us.. she said she thought of me yesterday because she had a client who was chinese and spoke english T-T What a strong impression I must make on people. She also remembers exactly what we bought six months ago). This time I went through the racks in about 10 minutes. Nothing. My cousin says to me, "back then you were so excited to see the clothes for sale but now your style has totally changed."
It sounds silly to be stressing over such a minute thing: "So you can't find clothes that you like... and your style and taste has changed. So what? Fashion is fickle and the trends come and go. You'll jump onto one thing sooner or later."
But that's not it. The reason why I'm stressing over this is because I'm not inspired anymore. And if I'm not inspired anymore, how am I supposed to design? I've been going out, looking around and seeing what's available but nothing has made my head spin. Nothing takes my breath away. Nothing has made me go "OMG I WANT THAT! HOW DID THEY EVER THINK OF THAT?!" It's more or less: "oh I've seen that. Okay I saw this Christmas and now it's on sale. Okay another spin on the neon colour trend."
Am I supposed to be sick of fashion so soon. This is my major. This is what I'm supposed to love. Yet I'm looking around at the abundance of nothing. There are heaps and heaps of clothes here in Hong Kong but nothing is giving me that adrenaline rush. Where'd the creativity go? It's too early in the game to be uninspired. Well, at least I know I don't want to go into pure fashion. It's kinda dull.
I think ever since that incident with the whole clubbing thing where my friends where saying how I'm such a grandma with nothing really appropriate to wear for such events.. I've been trying to reject that part of me that thinks in a 'prim and proper'
It's why I've stopped wearing puff sleeves, lace and ruffles although now my workplace 'requires' it because of my boss' aesthetic. I hate being labeled especially prim and proper. Oh the connotations. It's why I went the total opposite direction with hoodies, t shirts and shorts. All I've been buying these days are t shirts and obnoxious neon cardigans. If you know Sam, she doesn't wear t shirts. EVER. Except working out.
Though I don't and probably never will like clubbing, I guess all I can say now is that I want to bring sexy back which was pretty much non existent in my self. I'm searching for a confidence that can't be bought and worn. But because I express my thoughts and ideas through clothing, I do wear my heart on my sleeve. If you want to know what I'm thinking, just look at what I'm wearing. It gives a nice compact summary.
I know this makes no sense: it sounds like a lot of self pompous jibberish that is just a lame excuse to become a shopaholic. But yeah. I'm feeling very restless these days.
-----------------------------------------------------
Thank God.
$27,740 of my tuition of 2008-2009 has been paid thanks to scholarships/grants and loans.
And since I got the sustainability scholarship too that bumps it up to: $29,740.
So I've calculated how much I'd owe the bank/school in loans after I grad: $21,125.
That's not too bad. I've never had that much money but it doesn't seem out of control either. I think with time, money management and patience I could get it all paid off.
Lately I've been trying to figure out what to do with life after I graduate. After talking to family and people in the industry, I'm wondering if I should become a buyer for some large company. A buyer basically picks what goes into the store each season. It's kind of a hybrid between business, design and management, fashion and stylist. It would be a good networking opportunity as well as give me more insight on the workings of a boutique/department store. I think I've had enough of small companies, I want to go big next. Maybe corporate won't be so bad after all.
These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work they put between us,
You know it doesn't keep us warm
...
All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside
This has been going on a loop.
Post-SATC has made me want to deviate back to my former 'la-la land closet' self. You know.. the stuff that makes most men go "huh?" and most women go "I could never pull that off."
For the past three weeks I have been shopping half the time. My definition of 'shopping' does not equate to spending; most of it is browsing/observing/looking/people watching and purchasing here and there.
For the past three weeks I have been working at the boutique surrounded by cheongsam, chiffon gowns and print day dresses.
In the past three weeks I have gained 10lbs of magazine weight. I have the Chinese Vogue, the Chinese local magazine called 'Jessica', the urban style magazine called 'Touch' and 'Milk' and a slew of runway/couture ones not found in North America.
And I'm scared. My cousin and I returned to two stores I really liked back in Christmas (uh sad but the owner remembers us.. she said she thought of me yesterday because she had a client who was chinese and spoke english T-T What a strong impression I must make on people. She also remembers exactly what we bought six months ago). This time I went through the racks in about 10 minutes. Nothing. My cousin says to me, "back then you were so excited to see the clothes for sale but now your style has totally changed."
It sounds silly to be stressing over such a minute thing: "So you can't find clothes that you like... and your style and taste has changed. So what? Fashion is fickle and the trends come and go. You'll jump onto one thing sooner or later."
But that's not it. The reason why I'm stressing over this is because I'm not inspired anymore. And if I'm not inspired anymore, how am I supposed to design? I've been going out, looking around and seeing what's available but nothing has made my head spin. Nothing takes my breath away. Nothing has made me go "OMG I WANT THAT! HOW DID THEY EVER THINK OF THAT?!" It's more or less: "oh I've seen that. Okay I saw this Christmas and now it's on sale. Okay another spin on the neon colour trend."
Am I supposed to be sick of fashion so soon. This is my major. This is what I'm supposed to love. Yet I'm looking around at the abundance of nothing. There are heaps and heaps of clothes here in Hong Kong but nothing is giving me that adrenaline rush. Where'd the creativity go? It's too early in the game to be uninspired. Well, at least I know I don't want to go into pure fashion. It's kinda dull.
I think ever since that incident with the whole clubbing thing where my friends where saying how I'm such a grandma with nothing really appropriate to wear for such events.. I've been trying to reject that part of me that thinks in a 'prim and proper'
It's why I've stopped wearing puff sleeves, lace and ruffles although now my workplace 'requires' it because of my boss' aesthetic. I hate being labeled especially prim and proper. Oh the connotations. It's why I went the total opposite direction with hoodies, t shirts and shorts. All I've been buying these days are t shirts and obnoxious neon cardigans. If you know Sam, she doesn't wear t shirts. EVER. Except working out.
Though I don't and probably never will like clubbing, I guess all I can say now is that I want to bring sexy back which was pretty much non existent in my self. I'm searching for a confidence that can't be bought and worn. But because I express my thoughts and ideas through clothing, I do wear my heart on my sleeve. If you want to know what I'm thinking, just look at what I'm wearing. It gives a nice compact summary.
I know this makes no sense: it sounds like a lot of self pompous jibberish that is just a lame excuse to become a shopaholic. But yeah. I'm feeling very restless these days.
-----------------------------------------------------
Thank God.
$27,740 of my tuition of 2008-2009 has been paid thanks to scholarships/grants and loans.
And since I got the sustainability scholarship too that bumps it up to: $29,740.
So I've calculated how much I'd owe the bank/school in loans after I grad: $21,125.
That's not too bad. I've never had that much money but it doesn't seem out of control either. I think with time, money management and patience I could get it all paid off.
Lately I've been trying to figure out what to do with life after I graduate. After talking to family and people in the industry, I'm wondering if I should become a buyer for some large company. A buyer basically picks what goes into the store each season. It's kind of a hybrid between business, design and management, fashion and stylist. It would be a good networking opportunity as well as give me more insight on the workings of a boutique/department store. I think I've had enough of small companies, I want to go big next. Maybe corporate won't be so bad after all.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home