This song: Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence
It reminds me of everything I miss about New York and all that I took for granted.
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I suddenly remembered the night before I left New York for Toronto. I was doing last minute work and packing. David suddenly calls me to see if I wanted to go to Max Brenners with the gang because they had just finished something else... it was closed so we went to one of our favourite Japanese snack bars. It was 2am but I was both happy and sad because it was our last time hanging out that year.
How was that a year? I don't understand how time just flew by. I'm finding it hard to treasure my time in Hong Kong. It feels so direction-less. I have few friends here and only memories of the past to comfort me.
I miss them so much.
I miss walking around Soho with David my shopping buddy whom we both share an eerie taste for the same type of clothes (minus Princess Peach).
I miss going to Max Brenners with Betty. I wasn't there for the chocolate but for the accountability.
I miss those random Tuesdays with Tommy and our food adventures for Japanese squid balls.
I miss hanging with Dion in HK. We did nothing yet everything just sitting at a 24 hours McD's.
I miss Joon and his renditions of Howl's Moving Castle. Somehow he understands my love for that film above all the rest.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. But it's so painful this feeling of knowing that things will never be the same again. I'm crying now because I don't know when I'll see them next. But more so I am afraid that I will forget them they of me. That in the near future, I won't care anymore.
There was a level of understanding that each of those individuals could perceive me at but more than anything, they could understand the value at which I placed our friendships. I was very touched by the little ways in which each person gave. David was always so verbally encouraging when I felt down; Betty understood me spiritually through every struggle I went through the past year; Tommy in how he expressed his gratitude through cards that last night we were all together; Dion and his uncanny ability to pick up the smallest of nuances to make me laugh the hardest and Joon for his quirky mannerisms that kept me amused.
'Emo' they scoff. I've kept these things to myself in fear of being called just that. But it's been so difficult for me to find a group of friends to hang out with that when God suddenly placed these people in my life this past year, I've been overwhelmed by the blessings that each person had to offer. The greatest thing about it was that I enjoyed not only their company as a group, but also as individuals. And that in itself is very hard to come by. Beyond that, each individual is so incredibly gifted that when I see how God works in their lives, I am even more so encouraged to do better myself. From Betty's croquis and potenial Gap internship to Dion's pro-active attitude in design collaborations/projects/competitions, when I see them, it drives me to want to do just as well.
On the first page of my sketchbook I've taped a piece of crumpled paper to the front. It reads '12'
It's funny that God used such a number to change my life. I think only a couple of people understand the value I place on that scrap piece of paper. It is a reminder that in God, all things are possible.
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I'm struggling, right now, to find a faith as big as a mustard seed.
Today I felt so burdened about that crippled man I saw last week. Yet today's sermon rang out louder to me than ever concerning having faith despite our fear of man.
I've been reading through the first four chapters of the New Testament for my morning devos and wonder if God still physically heals people through us. I tell myself, why of course He does yet somehow in the back of my mind, I still doubt. And that doubt is a manifestation of my inability to recognize God as having power over everything even in conquering death.
But what if God could really heal this man and all I really needed to do was have the guts to approach him and pray for him? What if God has been waiting to show me a miracle if I had only just taken the first step?
My faith is so little yet my fear of what people perceive of me is so great.
I think this following passage in Mark summarizes me,
17A man in the crowd answered, "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. 18Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."
19"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me."
20So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.
21Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"
"From childhood," he answered. 22"It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
23" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
24Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
God, help me overcome my unbelief. It is not that man who needs physical healing, but I need Your spiritual healing.
It reminds me of everything I miss about New York and all that I took for granted.
================================================
I suddenly remembered the night before I left New York for Toronto. I was doing last minute work and packing. David suddenly calls me to see if I wanted to go to Max Brenners with the gang because they had just finished something else... it was closed so we went to one of our favourite Japanese snack bars. It was 2am but I was both happy and sad because it was our last time hanging out that year.
How was that a year? I don't understand how time just flew by. I'm finding it hard to treasure my time in Hong Kong. It feels so direction-less. I have few friends here and only memories of the past to comfort me.
I miss them so much.
I miss walking around Soho with David my shopping buddy whom we both share an eerie taste for the same type of clothes (minus Princess Peach).
I miss going to Max Brenners with Betty. I wasn't there for the chocolate but for the accountability.
I miss those random Tuesdays with Tommy and our food adventures for Japanese squid balls.
I miss hanging with Dion in HK. We did nothing yet everything just sitting at a 24 hours McD's.
I miss Joon and his renditions of Howl's Moving Castle. Somehow he understands my love for that film above all the rest.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. But it's so painful this feeling of knowing that things will never be the same again. I'm crying now because I don't know when I'll see them next. But more so I am afraid that I will forget them they of me. That in the near future, I won't care anymore.
There was a level of understanding that each of those individuals could perceive me at but more than anything, they could understand the value at which I placed our friendships. I was very touched by the little ways in which each person gave. David was always so verbally encouraging when I felt down; Betty understood me spiritually through every struggle I went through the past year; Tommy in how he expressed his gratitude through cards that last night we were all together; Dion and his uncanny ability to pick up the smallest of nuances to make me laugh the hardest and Joon for his quirky mannerisms that kept me amused.
'Emo' they scoff. I've kept these things to myself in fear of being called just that. But it's been so difficult for me to find a group of friends to hang out with that when God suddenly placed these people in my life this past year, I've been overwhelmed by the blessings that each person had to offer. The greatest thing about it was that I enjoyed not only their company as a group, but also as individuals. And that in itself is very hard to come by. Beyond that, each individual is so incredibly gifted that when I see how God works in their lives, I am even more so encouraged to do better myself. From Betty's croquis and potenial Gap internship to Dion's pro-active attitude in design collaborations/projects/competitions, when I see them, it drives me to want to do just as well.
On the first page of my sketchbook I've taped a piece of crumpled paper to the front. It reads '12'
It's funny that God used such a number to change my life. I think only a couple of people understand the value I place on that scrap piece of paper. It is a reminder that in God, all things are possible.
------------------------------------------------------------
I'm struggling, right now, to find a faith as big as a mustard seed.
Today I felt so burdened about that crippled man I saw last week. Yet today's sermon rang out louder to me than ever concerning having faith despite our fear of man.
I've been reading through the first four chapters of the New Testament for my morning devos and wonder if God still physically heals people through us. I tell myself, why of course He does yet somehow in the back of my mind, I still doubt. And that doubt is a manifestation of my inability to recognize God as having power over everything even in conquering death.
But what if God could really heal this man and all I really needed to do was have the guts to approach him and pray for him? What if God has been waiting to show me a miracle if I had only just taken the first step?
My faith is so little yet my fear of what people perceive of me is so great.
I think this following passage in Mark summarizes me,
17A man in the crowd answered, "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. 18Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."
19"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me."
20So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.
21Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"
"From childhood," he answered. 22"It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
23" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
24Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
God, help me overcome my unbelief. It is not that man who needs physical healing, but I need Your spiritual healing.
