I was listening to this online sermon by my pastor (www.nyjourney.com) concerning dating. I've learned that contrary to the romantic way our society thinks, there is more than one person out there who could be our 'soul mate'. Unfortunately because it was an online sermon and I didn't have the notes, he never read out the bible passage from where he got it from. But soulmates are made, according to the Bible, when God joins two people together. So it is possible to have anyone actually. But he stressed mostly on the importance of setting the standards high and keeping them there- to find that person of integrity. But how? If you look at the potential person you'd like to date, does he/she cheat on tests or tell little 'white' lies? Then in a marriage these 'little' things would be amplified ten times the size. I don't know about everyone else, but I a striving to be a person of integrity.. not cheating, lying or stealing. I think I've been tempted many times to do those little things. For instance, once we had to do this shop project with wood: to drill and screw in a nut/bolt and a screw into a piece of wood... and I did it with a few girls but we didn;'t know that we had to screw a screw into the wood too.. so that meant we had to go back to the shop again (which is on the 9th floor and it's really annoying since we only have like two elevators for a billion people and we have all these rules we have to adhere to). Well my friend just took someone elses project since we didn't need to keepit after we completed the assignment and pretended it was her own. i was so tempted to do the same and ask someone but I didn't. The other time was when I had found that cell phone on the sidewalk and when I finally met up with the person's sister who lost it, he offered me $20. At that moment I said no but I really wanted to take the money... I was so extremely tempted to accept it.. I could buy something nice to wear or put it towards shoes. But I still said no and when I told my mom, she said she was proud that I didn't. However my roomie said I deserved it since I didn't give the cell phone because I thought I'd get that reward. Then it struck me that perhaps I should have accepted it and put it in the offering plate at church to glorify Him. I don't know. I feel as if it's an ongoing struggle to keep to that path of righteousness.
I love that song Only One by Yellow Card. I need a guy like that. In the normal lovey-dovey song, we hear 'I will love you forever, I will keep you in my heart until the day I die..' but this is totally unconventional. i love the lyrics and the melody is so nice. My roommate and I are obsessed. It is a magical song though. Hahaha.. we played it when this guy she liked came in and they ended up sharing a kiss outside in the hall. Haha.. Now she wants me to switch it on everytime he comes in. LOL. sigh. According to your faith will it be done to you, said God. Faith faith faith....

I guess no one reads this anymore since i hardly write in this...
I've realized that a person of integrity shows his virtues and character through the small things in life.
I feel so frustrated and impatient with God sometimes... when will He deliver when I've asked for such a long time? I know He has His own plan... He knows when to bring another person into my life and that I should just concentrate on building upon my own character. But it's hard to wait. Sometimes I think it's just me and my self esteem. I feel as if all non christians have it easier because there are so many of them. I feel as if everyone else can throw themselves on anyone and don't feel the guilt whereas I feel disgusted at such behaviour. This sounds vague but I guess you get the point at what I am trying to get to.
I've realized that perhaps Parsons was for me... I'm not talking academic wise but spiritually. What would I be like if everything was taken away from me: friends, family, my home, my church..... would I still stand? I think I've clung more onto this faith than anything else. The other day at growth group I felt like crying.. someone was talking about how God will always have challenges for each person and that once you get through that pit of darkness, the highs of your life will just seem sweeter. I wonder how non christians can live and cope with everyday life. To rely on oneself is not enough. I think society has stressed too much on independence and individuality that we've lost that interdependence.... pride has taken over humility.
I guess we always want something that someone else has. I remember the other day my roomies and I were talking about our bodies.. I've realized through one blunt roommate, that I have a large behind because I have wide hips.. I don't like them... I keep bumping into things and it hurts. YEah so now I've concluded that I have an hourglass figure since my shoulders and hips vertically align. My other roommate, who has a boyish figure, kept mentioning that she'd love to have big hips. I guess we'll never be happy with what we have so I might as well be content with how I was made. How sad. hahaha. My proudest feature is without doubt my fingers. I love my long, slender fingers.. or ET. Whatever. I tihnk they look rather quite normal.
This entry makes no sense and it's horrible stylistically speaking. I think I shall go work on Adobe Illustrator more now..