Entry #2 of Today
Hm. I was just sitting in one of the interior design floors of the Ryerson building and across was this red brick building with an enormous Adidas billboard on it. I'm paraphrasing cuz I can't remember the exact quote.
"Impossible is nothing. It is a word created by small men who are weak and used to satisfy the unexplainable. They are people who do not want to go any further and are comfortable with what is. Those who are strong push to the limits, explore and challenge the unattainable."
Yeah.. something like that. I wish I could find that quote again.. Tired...

Ow.. I have a splitting headache... not gonna blog long... GUESS WHAT?! I've got a commission! A collaborative commission!! I am so excited! this is so amazing! But so much work it's kinda freaking me out! HAHA... Yeah, I'm kinda vague here cuz if you wanna know what commission, you have to ask me in person. ;). Whoohoo.. I need the money anyway. I don't get any allowance during the summer... :( Wheeee.... this is totally awesome! But it's such a big responsibility, I don't know if I can handle it. I should start researching. LALAL!
The ROm was kinda boring.. I think this was my first time ever being there. You know that intersection where the ROM is? It reminds me of the time I went to the LOTR exhibit... LOL.. Cuz it was held at the planetarium. Good memories.. we even ate at the same McDonalds as I did with my friend when we went to visit the exhibit. Afterwards we just strolled the expensive Bloor area. LOL. When we got to the dark Gucci store we decided to stare at the annoying stuck-up security guard.. HAha. When we were returning he was blocking the door and staring out from the glass.. Lol. We went to Chapters.. so fun! And we went into the Nike store.. the colours are so beautiful!! Orange and grey!
Ya.. Ryerson was okay... The students cannot draw people. It's kinda funny. I like the Sheridan program better but they only offer a diploma whereas Ryerson offers a degree... ERGH!!! Why do they have to be so difficult... Iono what to do...

Trish is still here! And Suzie left! ERGH! People make bad choices. Geez. Next episode doesn't sound that interesting though. Ya, go scream Lois! I cannot believe I just missed ten minutes and I was thinking "Oh nothing is gonna happen in the first ten mins" And guess what happens!? They revealed the spy! ERGH!! And I missed all their reactions! How sucky! But Kitty caught me up. lol.
Math quiz was good.... But for one question she forgot to give us one length of a side and just had two angles so I was so clued out as to how to find the side with only two known angles. Lol. I thought it was some special formula that I missed out on when I went to sheridan and I didn't wanna ask. Just scared that I would sound like an idiot. But it was good...
OH akjlsdfhakldsjfa. I totally forgot! I had to make brownies for April!! ARGH!! I am such a total idiot... ERGH! It's her birthday tomorrow!! Wait.. I'll give it to her at her birhtday party.. which is kinda my birthday party.. but I don't know about it.
Lol. Now our joint party with Julia and I has expanded to include chantel but I kinda need to tell pple.. time to get presents.. lalala.. and to reserve seats at restaurant! *drool* Wow .. for hte first time I've talked to chantel.. but it's on MSN. Haven't talked to her for so long.. We're catching up on stuff.. LALA! Okay that's it for now. Wow.. tomorrow is gonna be 21 degrees and then it's gonan drop the next day.. what the heck. OMG! The trees are budding and blooming! I was mesmerized this morning.. don't mind me. Simple things just stun me. Lol.

Argh. Can we please decide on a day to do our party thing, Julia. This is driving me insane cuz Mother's Day is coming up and I have April's party to go to and my last in class driving session... I need more time.. someone give me an extra weekend. And I really hope we don't have a math test soon. And I wanna go shopping with Kitty next Tuesday.. and Steph may come so she can buy her shoes! :D. OMG!! I just remembered.. that day I have to play at concert... ergh.. and Monday I have driving.. and then have to go to school again for concert. And I need to plan party... And buy presents for Julia.. AH!!! *sam breathes in and exhales*. And I have my interior project due soon and this Friday I have another field trip, this time to Ryerson and the ROM. And my ajdsfadj Impressionistic painting... Oh yeah.. I just remembered, I should start researching my newspaper article project for Ancient History.. hohoho.. SCREWED. Okay okay.. I have this all figured out.. I really do.. yeah.. lol. I'll start researching tomorrow... And.... interior I've pretty much figured out thanks to my mom who gave me a ton of ideas after school. She sat down and looked at it and offered suggestions on how to change it to maximize the floor space. She had some good ideas I've incorporated into my floor plan. So I'm good for that.. all I have to do is the elevation, find inspiration and make a sample board.. My head is swimming.
wow.. I just realized Chantel just added me onto her MSN... haha.. hardly ever talk to her anymore.. :(. We used to hang out every day at lunch. Sometimes I hate how everything changes so quickly... how your focal group of friends just shift from one to another before your very eyes. I hate that. I hate it.
Yes. I've finally rearranged and slotted all my LOTR newspaper articles and magazine articles into clear folder slips and into this one inch binder which is practically bursting... and busting.. I need a larger binder.
Sweetness. Bachelor tomorrow! and more screaming and yelling on MSN with Lois and Kitty... It's hilarious. Total jokes. Trish Trish Trish! Ew... Yay, go Tara and what's the other one called again? Jessica B! She's awesome too. And Trish finds out that Jesse knows her evil side. That is hilarious. I don't understand why it's called reality tv.. It's really not. It's total irony... irony? Whatever.. can't think at the moment.. everything seems like a total blur. I need to sleep earlier... I need to start getting organized.. I need... I need..
Oh.. You know what I need.. I need to practice more tennis. My muscles are killing me after half an hour yesterday... And my hand was all shaky and stuff.. wow.. My arm is totally out of shape.. I actually managed to drag my dad with me to play... I seriously have to play more as soon as the weather starts to improve.
Ah. Kitty, I wanna go to the Chris Tomlin thingie!! Saturday right? I wanna goooo... Tell me if there are any tickets left... I think you should get that denim thingie you wanted.. And sandals.. and a skirt! LOL. Ya ya.. after you're done that stupid Java program, we'll hit the mall... I need to buy present for Julia too and I have no clue as to what she wants.. except like really expensive things... TNT stuff, a puppy... some modelling thingie...
Haha... She actually liked the little note I wrote on the back of the photo of her and I at Vanessa's party... I made her day! Aw.. how nice.. lol. funny how a few encouraging words and letting someone know that you're here for her, can make a person so happy. But I guess that's good. And she's happy. She thinks I'm a 'supportive friend'. I guess so? I don't know.. I don't like thinking I'm a 'good supportive friend' cuz it makes me feel.... conceited.. stuck up.. superior? And it just shatters that... whole image... If you get what I mean.. Okay I can't think.. gonna go and meditate in my room of tangerine.

Read second entry for my most recent. This one was just copied and pasted from a previous entry for someone.. HAHA..

April 15

Happy Birthday Tania!
So did you read Day 2? Lol. Probably. As soon as I got to school I read yours. Very comforting. It's a substitute to our daily MSN conversations. It's very odd not seeing you and talking to you.. AND CAN YOU SWITCH ON YOUR CELL PHONE?! DID YOU EVEN BRING IT!? AGH! Lol. Sorry, I've been checking incessantly for a text message or some hint that you're still alive. I hope you're having fun over there.
So another year older. How time goes by so quickly. Seventeen... Soon we'll be in university. Schmucks. I'm so worried now cuz I'm totally out of ideas for your next present.. which is like.. Christmas.. And your birthday! And they have to top all the ones I've made you so far which is pretty darn difficult.. Better start scheming now.. and it has to be something extra special cuz as Kitty said, it's our last year of high school! :S. This is hard... Something to top a scrapbook. vintage NBA games and a miniature dream room... Come on... BRAINSTORM WITH ME!! Wait.. I shouldn't write this all here cuz I need to save some stuff for the very slowly now picking up pace letter... oh shoot.. I still have some unfinished hw I just remembered... ARGH... Finding photos for art.... ergh. SO!! I miss you lots and lots. Come home. I love you. Happy Birthday again! Tell me how you celebrated. Haha. The weather is absolutely gorgeous here. I'm so envious. It's usually gloomy and cloudy on mine.. booo... love you. Looking forward to opening the last note tomorrow.. none for Saturday? aw...

YAY YAY YAY! I got my photos from Kitty's baptism and stuff and they turned out awesome. Those civic center ones we took were so good! And I was just taking those to waste the film so I could get the developed faster! Yay yay yay! I've framed some of them in my picture frame that hangs above my bed. They're so gorgeous!
Well today my day was very very good.. went to Frankie's Tomato a tad late... HAHAHA... Tania is evil... Don't use that against me. That was only my second time.. and this was your fourth time switching off the comp! So there!
We didn't have that much food.. we actually did not eat $16 worth of food.. so we kinda lost a little money. Lol. It was funny... mine mine mine mine... I mean.. my precioussss! The food was quite good though.. nothing particularly special. I liked Kitty's card to Lois. It was so neat! The writing I mean! lol. And I want those photos.. people send them to me!!
And then we wentto Steph's house which was really fun. AHEM. Steph and I have the bragging rights.
Steph and Sam won Tania and Lois at foozeball 2-1. We rule the foozeball kingdom! HAHA.. Yup yup... We creamed, smoked, grilled, stewed them.. HAHa.. Ya ya.. one day everyone has to come to my house and see my orange room and to play foozeball and we can all see LOTR with big tv and surround sound! HAHAHAHA.. I mean... :D.
And so yeah, Tania and I went up to see Steph's blue blue room.. with all her JYD pics and Bosh posters.. lol. The plethora of stuffed animals. And it was fun just sitting there... lol. Mitch called and Steph answered on a Hello Kitty phone.. LOL. You guys never make your beds.. GEEZ!
OMG! VIV SEND ME THE MATH HW!! AH! I DIDN'T GET IT THROUGH EMAIL! screwed. HAhaha... ambiguous angles? What? and they aren't in the textbook? This is so screwy. YAY! You are online! HAHA... Thanks Viv.
Ya.. Wow.. I just read Kitty's Thursday blog and she sounds so pissed.... people judge Kitty.. it's nature.. To compare what you have with others or to compare others with others. Iono.. I judge a lot.. but it's hard not to cuz you kinda do it automatically and it's totally a subconscious thing.
Okay.. I'm out for today.. I have church tomorrow!

Today was sooo much fun! I loved all of it! Especially cuz I wasn't in school the most part! haha... We left at 9:35am to go to Sheridan College in Oakville with the Gr 11 Visual Arts people. It was a gorgeous day and the sun was out and the sky was blue blue blue.. It was lovely. We had a 40 minute tour with a guide who showed us all these amazing art places.. we saw how glass was made at some demonstration, we saw handmade furniture, hundreds of illustrations hung in a gallery, little design houses (Moe loved them), animation flicks by the students (kinda like that squirrel with the acorn in Ice Age), conceptual art, lighting designs, theatrical costumes, paintings (none that were really amazing though) and interior design boards.
We were all walking through the Fundamental Art section for those people who hadn't had enough training in high school, and we saw some of the models from our life drawing class in the pictures! it was so cool.. We were like "hey there's Pat!!" "Ew it's Brian!".. haha.. and our guide told us "And yes, those people were naked when our students drew them.. You are adults in university". We were laughing at him cuz we already were exposed to this kinda media. The illustration was absolutely amazing... I have no idea how they drew and coloured that stuff in.. but I saw a Peter Jackson one!! HAHAH... just so happened to pass by that area.. omg, our guide was going so fast, we always got left behind and lost our entire group. Pretty funny though. It's all Moe's fault for having to take photos.. lol.
Omg! We saw this conceptual art.. IT WAS SO COOL! It was this bottle hanging in midair with wine coming out of it, splashing into this basin.. So we were thinking "How did the bottle manage to stay up there?" My guess is that there's a tube in there and the 'wine' flows out onto the side and back up the bottle cuz you see some of the liquid bubbling inside the bottle. It was really neat though!
So after our whole tour, April and I ran to the Tim Hortons we saw when we were on our tour and bought medium ice caps... Mmmmm... haha.. I got April addicted to them! HAHA.. and of course people tell me how high in calories they are.. lalala.. not listening... We then migrated to the caf and had lunch there... Moe and everyone else but Dorothy, April and I, stayed at the caf cuz they wanted to go and see the classic animation and whatever at the other buildings.. We stayed there for another 1.5 hours just talking and it was so much fun! Talking about what we should go into for university, to what we would've wanted to take if we had time, to stupid SATs, to grad trips after prom even to where we would get married.. lol. Well that was Dorothy. Some beach. HAHa. And then Steven, Jason and Adam came and sat next to us and played cards... and I couldn't help notice how interesting it was.. that here were three girls doing nothing and just talking... and next to me were three guys playing cards... and it's funny how girls can just sit and talk while guys have to do something and it's not possible for them to just sit and have a conversation. Lol. Guess that's how we're wired.
Anyway, so we stayed there for another hour or so and migrated to look at the interior design gallery. OMG! The boards were so gorgeous.. I absolutely loved them! There was this one that really stood out. It was a design plan for a Haagen Daaz cafe (an ice cream brand) and the person used the ice cream lids as a matte board and stuck his designs on these round lids. And they were totally unique and awesome! They also had to do elevation drawings which are basically a direct side view of each side of the floor plan... And they coloured it with special marker and had all these pretty pictures and beautiful lettering!! And now I am so inspired to do extremely well on my own final assignment cuz we have to do something like that too! The layouts were absolutely gorgeous. All their inspiration images were mounted on matte boards and they had glass cubes and fabrics and wood chips for samples.. It was totally awesome. The creativity that was on display was absolutely.... astounding. The furniture was sooo cooll! We went into this gallery there and April and Dorothy fell in love with this black veneer glass table. I saw this really cool mosaic of these two people. And when I went close to it to examine it, the pieces were in fact letters... some message written across-changing colour to form two people laughing. Really really cool. The textile room was neat too.. it made me happy cuz it was so bright and cheery from the vibrant cotton prints suspended from the ceiling. Kaleidescope of colours. I felt so young there.. reminded me of grade 8 and having that orientation in UHS... All the people there were old... lol... as in we did not see any first year students..
ANYWAY so when we got back I went out and got my hair cut. It feels very light now.. Iono... I don't like it when a guy washes your hair.. just feels kinda creepy and you're like... noo,.. stop touching my scalp. Lol. He was some apprentice and he had to blow dry my hair.. OMG!! He does it so slow... He uses the brush and as it runs down he blows it dry.. And the blow dryer was extremely hot... and when he did the sides where my face was.. it started to sting from the heat.. Ya.. not good at all. But now my waves are gone.... good or bad. My mom thinks I look younger.... for better or for worse.
So after getting my hair cut, my mom and I went to Curry's to get me some markers!! People use these in university for interior design and stuff... and these are special markers!!!! Cuz they cost $4.35 each!! HAHAHA.. ya.. so I got 8 of them... I want a few more.. They are really good quality though.. I love them... No one can use them!! My precioussss....... puahah.
Well I arrived at Vanessa's house at 5:35..... one and a half hours late.. HAHAHA.. well Mitch was even longer! Two hours! That's way out of the 'fashionably late' category.. lol.. Ya.. so I got to see her doggie again! He is so adorable. Kinda scared of all of us though. Lol.
Vanessa's mom is a crazy chef... bruschetti, canelloni, salad, fruit salad, chicken, spring rolls and supposedly chicken wings which we did not have cuz we were too full. Vanessa made brownies too.. lol.. the recipe I use... It was good... fresh out of the oven.. I never eat my own brownies anyway.. oh well.. Ya ya.. so we ate and talked and watched Kill Bill and played cards... Kill Bill was very bloody but very stupid film... Kinda stupid.... sigh.. LOTR has its negative effects on me... like I haven't seen any good films since! How disappointing.. HAHA...
Omg, never again will I play some violent cards games cuz I hurt my pinky finger.. hey.. it doesn't hurt anymore!! :D
Ya ya.. so that was my lovely day... Viv gave me the math hw but has no page number.. or was it the worksheet? I hope it's easy. :D
Haha... I think I have the most opposite mom from everyone... dorothy and april and I were talking about.. stuff.. and it seems that my mom is the total opposite from their's... my mom forces me to get my G1, makes me practice driving, is gonna kick me out of the house for university, doesn't want me to have a chinese wedding... what else? Lol. Oh yeah.. she does not totally flip out if I screw up my math or something.. which was a total surprise to me in Grade 9 when I ended up with a midterm mark of 69%... she told me she failed physics in Uni of Waterloo... LOl.... And I was so grateful.. haha.. yeah.. so april and dorothy's moms are the exact opposite.. HAha.... Ah well... I like my mom now... lol. Although she is very opposite to most 'common' moms... lol. That is kinda weird though,.. oh well.. I am so sleepy!! Gonna go now.. what if this doesn't publish.. I'd be so mad.. gonna copy it first just in case...

Happy birthday to my dad! Lalala! One day after Lois's! Lol.
anyway, I haven't blogged in here for two days... Yesterday my internet was going screwy and all I could do was go on MSN which is still good!
Wow this is gonna be a busy weekend.. Well kinda... Tomorrow I have to go to Vanessa's party (yay I get to see Julia.. who I hardly ever see anymore..evilness) and then the following day: violin lesson, maybe the movie and Lois's party. -_-.. I'm just happy that all my tests are done! Yahoo! Aw.. I should make Vanessa some brownies... do I have time? Not really... How about mango candies...
YAY!! I am gonna hack off my hair tomorrow... die hair.. I hate it. It's like this great big straggly mop of hair, all knotted as if in dreads or something.. Okay, actually I should be more thankful that I have hair.. so... iono... I'll just tell the hairstylist to do whatever he wants with it. I cant' be bothered to find some design that I want. Do what you like... just don't make it look fobby and crap looking. Haha.. how many times does a hairstylist hear "do what you want" on a customer's head.. not much.. lol.. If it turns out looking like crap, I'll just hibernate until it grows out or something. HAHA. Right.. That means I can't go to Lois's party! :o. Okay I'm starting to go off on my own little tangent....
yup yup, so I talked to Julia on the phone... she's gonna be really busy up until after July so I probably won't see her at all. Her and her dancing school, competitions, performances and this weekend going to some modelling competition in Barrie where Jessica Stam is gonna be and all these famous models and stuff. I hope to see her on Fashion television if it's broadcasted. and if she becomes famous she can have her own entourage (lol... our little dreams over dim sum with maria, sophia and people. lol).
I'd rather do fashion photography though. I actually like looking at advertisements in magazines cuz I enjoy looking at the lighting and all that stuff.. It's really neat. And the colour! Lol.
Yeah so anyway, good luck Julia cuz we'll be seeing you on the runways soon. Don't forget about me! Lol. Btw, remind her to make me a blueberry and a banana cream pie.. she owes me.
*dum dum dum*.. Sheridan open house field trip tomorrow! Sweetness! I know my way around already.. lol.. from the retreat in the summer..wow.. sumer... Very confusing place to be... Not where I would really wanna go unless for the bachelor of design York/Sheridan program but whatever... just wanna go for the sake of being signed out! HAHA.. I mean..
So what else is there to say... Oh yeah, the other day I was just thinking how the word 'intolerant' contradicts itself. If you call someone 'intolerant' aren't you being intolerant of that person yourself? Lol. Very confusing..
Yay, after art today, my dad picked me up and we went to Sescolite! I love that place! Lol. It's a lighting shop if you don't know.. I wanted a new light for my room cuz mine is the standard drab looking one. And all the ones I wanted were at least $200 something.. HAHA... I saw some of the coolest lights there! They are so totally innovative and awesome! I want one... My dad and I picked out a few outdoors lights for the garage since ours are falling apart.... But he still wants my mom's approval.. -_-.. booo.. Just buy it. LOL.
Okay.. I guess that's it for now.. I'm already very sleepy.. Waiting for my mom to get back from church.. alalala.... Nite nite.

I'm dead... dead... dead!!! Math killed me. Stupid transformations and crap! HAHA.. so now hopefully I'll still remember all of it in the morning.. Watch me panic tomorrow.. ERGH! And my furniture history test.. screw it. I didn't really study much. I rather get high on my math than furniture.. lol...
Today at lunch we were talking about getting drunk and having hangovers over caramel correttos.. Very interesting.. I just don't understand the reason behind getting drunk in the first place. If you just wanna experience getting drunk.. that is so stupid. Why would you wanna be hovering over a toilet, regurgitating for a couple of hours and have headaches... Wouldn't it spoil the time you had.. say if you were at a party or at a wedding... Why would you want to have no recollection of the day before and ruin it by getting drunk.
If people think it looks cool to be swigging bottles of beer or taking a dozen shots.. that's just ew... Alcohol is basically poison to your body. Especially to women since it stays in the blood longer. Plus do you really wanna act like a total idiot in front of everybody.. lol.... and have no recollection of it the next day?
I have no respect for people who just wanna get a hangover cuz they're just curious.. that is just the most retarded answer. It's like smoking. Why the heck do you wanna do something that's so unnatural to the body? and besides, think of all the calories in those thingies.. LOL. Yeah, so as Rachel calls me, I'm a 'good girl'. But at least I have enough self respect as to refrain from drinking. Oh.. or is it because you just wanna feel 'rebellious' and do something so bad to make sure people know you're not really a goody goody? But what exactly is rebellion? Having premarital sex, getting drunk and smoking pot is rebellious? But so many people think it's rebellious that the tables turn and being good is 'rebellious'. Doing the right thing is revolting against all the bad things people do. So if you wanna be a rebel, do the right thing. But what it all comes down to is self respect. You wanna screw yourself over, you just do that. It's so easy to be bad.. I mean all you gotta do is just break laws.. how hard is that? Just walk into a convenience store and steal a pack of gum. But how hard is it to be good? And to have the intentions to be good and not just to pretend to be good... Like some people act as if they're good, but deep down inside they just wanna do something bad? Is it harder to submit to peer pressure or to turn away?
I don't mind being labeled the good girl although there are the higher expectations and standards than the 'rebel' type as the world likes to call it. This is the life I chose to follow... and I know, it'll lead me to better places in the long run.
"Do not be drunk on wine but be filled with the Holy Spirit"
That Bible verse just popped out of my head cuz I remember my friend who was hooked on getting drunk... she changed after going to a conference and this verse really stuck to her... it kinda stuck to me. yeah, someone can tell me where it's from..

Lalala! Very high from playing Lord of the Rings on X Box. LOL. My mom said if she had not known I was playing X Box, she would've thought there was something wrong with me.. Haha.. It was really funny though.. lol. Legolas is hilarious with these waving 'batons'.. okay.. I'm blabbering... lol.. but you have to see it. I was laughing till I cried.
I did not shake today! My bow arm did not shake! Whoohoo! Lol. For service today, I was so queasy and all of us were really jumpy and stuff... but it was good.. Sam looked pretty today. Haha.. For once.. :S. At least I think I did? HAHA.. Whatever. At least I was happy with my appearance today. :). Though it was a TAD bit cold to wear a skirt! lol.
Lalala.. I had some stuff to say here and now I've totally forgotten! Blame it on the X Box. Oh yeah, Kitty, sorry for getting sandals before we got the chance to go shopping. Lol. Soon soon...
This week is going to be insane. Math, furniture history and art history tests! I'm scared for math.. Cuz I have no idea how she is gonna test us. Ergh. And I have a field trip to either the ROM and Ryerson or to Sheridan. Either of the two. Yay.... GO LEAFS! Win... ergh... die Ottawa! HAHA..
OMG! Kanika got to meet some of the LOTR actors! Like GIMLI AND ALL THESE PEOPLE! NO FAIR!! I wanna visit wellington now! Haha..
NO!! WE LOST!! ARGH!! It's my mom's fault.. she came down when they shot the winning goal.... -_-.
EW.. they had cameras during the churhc service so they could broadcast it for the children and for the congregation outside.. I played for 800 pple.. :S. And Evelyn (rob's sister) said they got some good close up shots of me.. EW!! EW EW EW EW... I hate that.. ew... *shudder*
ANYWAY... need to go now... lalala... this was such a meaningless entry.. oh well.. SCHOOL tomorrow! *shudder*

I am so worried for my math test now.. really really.. don't feel like blogging but whatever.
I feel really stressed right now cuz I'm so scared of screwing up on my little duet tomorrow during worship.. really scared...
And my mom took me to drive today.... around the RHCCC parking lot and she keeps gripping onto the car handles as if I was gonna do something crazy. She thinks my turns are too sharp. -_- We then went to Hillcrest mall to get me a pair of new sandals.. and iono what the heck they use to keep the shoes clean and looking new, but my skin got really itchy and I got hives but as soon as we walked out, it disappeared. ARGH. Stupid chemicals. They should be more considerate of people who have sensitive skin... But that's kinda weird how my skin reacts.. very odd indeed. Yeah, so finally I got a pair of new sandals cuz I kinda need them for church tomorrow... muahaha..
Yeah.. that was my lovely day.. had a super long rehearsal to test the AV stuff and I finally got a Tim Hortons Ice Capp!! MMM... Haven't had one in so long! I love those.. Okay, this totally sounds fragmented but whatever.. don't feel like doing anything....

YAY!!! I'm so happy! Lol. Finally I hear that Tania is alive. Lol. She sent me an email! whoohoo! LOL. Omg, I didn't have my math test today! LOL.. It was postponed to Monday then she changed it to Tuesday today. Lol. Yeah.. so I should actually go and study... hrm... and I got an email! email email email email email email from Tania! LOL. did I mention that already? Whoops. I have it on a separate window so I can reread it over and over again when I want to. Do I sound like a cocaine addict or something? Lol..
ANYWAY. So now I'm happy cuz she received my text message which I was dying to know if she got it CUZ I'VE BEEN WONDERING FOR THE PAST FRIGGIN THREE DAYS!!! Lol. Don't mind me. I'm just a little high after I found out. :) Dum dum dum...
Yeah so now I've come to the conclusion that Lois wrote that little tagboard message supposedly 'in disguise' as Tania. Lois you suck cuz your hyperness gives it away. I knew it was you all along. Evilness.
Yeah, anyway I went driving with my mom today in the parking lot outside of Cineplex Odeon. Stupid "I think I'm so cool cuz I have a licence and a car" guys had to follow me so I was like what the heck. Yeah some of your Leafs fans Alice! Give a guy a car and his ego goes soaring high and wide. Cheap thrills. I made some fast sharp turns and freaked my mom out. Hee hee.. But as you can see, I'm still alive! Muahaha... You haven't gotten rid of me YET. ;).
Kitty
Lala.. In response to your note that you gave me today whilst in English class, I'm gonna reply one of the things I said cuz I can't wait till Monday to write you a note cuz it's still fresh in my head. You said that you thought that missing other people only occurs with boyfriends and girlfriends.
But exactly what is the difference between a close friend and a boyfriend? There's not much of a difference. You spend time with them, share with them, laugh, talk, dream, and hang out with both friends and boyfriend. The only thing that sets them apart is the physical intimacy and that's about it. You would share the exact same things about life, dreams and goals with a boyfriend and a close friend. Perhaps even more so with a close friend because they understand you in that aspect more than a boyfriend does. So is there really a difference? Not really. Perhaps you would not miss a friend that much because you may not be very close with that person. I don't know and it's just a speculation. Anyway, let's go shopping. I'm flush again. I got the money that was due to me from the NBA Live 2004 game. I need new sandals as I wrote to you in the note.. and this isn't a 'want' it's a 'need'. Even my mom says so, so there! LOL. Okie dokie, I'll talk to you later...

yup yup so that's all for now.. Maybe post again later if I feel like it. Gotta find some things to amuse myself... let's play the LOTR X Box game! or maybe I should start planning my party...

Happy Birthday Tania!
So did you read Day 2? Lol. Probably. As soon as I got to school I read yours. Very comforting. It's a substitute to our daily MSN conversations. It's very odd not seeing you and talking to you.. AND CAN YOU SWITCH ON YOUR CELL PHONE?! DID YOU EVEN BRING IT!? AGH! Lol. Sorry, I've been checking incessantly for a text message or some hint that you're still alive. I hope you're having fun over there.
So another year older. How time goes by so quickly. Seventeen... Soon we'll be in university. Schmucks. I'm so worried now cuz I'm totally out of ideas for your next present.. which is like.. Christmas.. And your birthday! And they have to top all the ones I've made you so far which is pretty darn difficult.. Better start scheming now.. and it has to be something extra special cuz as Kitty said, it's our last year of high school! :S. This is hard... Something to top a scrapbook. vintage NBA games and a miniature dream room... Come on... BRAINSTORM WITH ME!! Wait.. I shouldn't write this all here cuz I need to save some stuff for the very slowly now picking up pace letter... oh shoot.. I still have some unfinished hw I just remembered... ARGH... Finding photos for art.... ergh. SO!! I miss you lots and lots. Come home. I love you. Happy Birthday again! Tell me how you celebrated. Haha. The weather is absolutely gorgeous here. I'm so envious. It's usually gloomy and cloudy on mine.. booo... love you. Looking forward to opening the last note tomorrow.. none for Saturday? aw...

* * *
I started and finished a book called 'The Five People You Meet in Heaven' by Mitch Albom. It's quite good.. It's kinda like the Alchemist.. Really philosophical and deep. It's about a guy who dies and goes to 'heaven' where he meets five different people who affected his life for better or for worse. So it's basically about learning how to appreciate your life and the people around you: family and friends. They had a couple of good quotes which I really liked:
"'Fairness,' he said, 'does not govern life and death. If it did, no good person would ever die young.'"page 49 (Kinda reminds me of Gandalf.. HAHA.. okay..)
"'No life is a waste,' the Blue Man said, 'The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.'" Page 50. (I just like that quote).
"'Lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. you dance with it. 'Life has to end,' she said. 'Love doesn't.'" (I like that one.. lol)
Ergh my computer is screwed. I can't see Kitty's blog.. loser.. and I get pop ups therefore it can be only one thing: stupid viruses and bugs that are attached to my comp which my Norton Antivirus cannot detect.. ARGH.. so annoying!!! Anyway, I'm out for today!!!!

Oh this sucks. I miss Tania already. Starting from fourth period I was like.. ergh... I won't see her till Monday. No one to meet up with me after interior. I don't get to see that extremely bored face waiting for me... sigh.. watching The Bachelor. She's killing me with all these little letters that are to be opened on a certain day.. and I'm so tempted to open all of them. Evil evil.. funny thing is, is that we both wrote each other one page letters with a date to open for each day we wouldn't see each other.. LOL. I was pretty surprised she came up with it too.. I guess it's cuz we both read 'PS I love you'.. lol.. Or maybe great minds just think alike. I sent her a text message. I hope she has her phone and will switch it on.. ERGH!!!! (Ew.. trish and that cheerleader are such ditzes and fakes).
Hey Viv... I still don't understand what you were trying to explain to me. You focused more on the aspects of loving other people whereas I have problems loving the image I was created in.
Don't feel like blogging today...

Wow. Donyell Marshall has five three pointers so far.. And you wonder what they've been doing all along... Why is he getting three pointers now when it doesn't count anymore....We're winning.... this is a miracle. Anyway.
Today was pretty good.. Not used to waking up so early now. Lol. Sometimes when things look pretty dull, they turn out the way you least expect it to. Like for lunch today, everyone was going to the library(boring) except for Kitty and I (omg we won...).. and Kitty was lying on the floor as if she was gonna sleep... Well we ended up talking for the whole entire lunch period and it was really fun... just about things like birthday plans, some kind of 'dream' trip after grad, hotels, hotels in China, and very random things. But it was good.. I had a good talk today.
AND I CAN'T BELIEVE ALICE GOT 95% ON HER SEMINAR!! And she was freaked out! GEEZZ!! I'm so happy for you! Congratulations.. I expect you to get 96% for Isben's Dollhouse.. lol.
Talking to Julia, Lois and Vivian right now... People are actually talking to me! And NOT doing hw! Another miracle! Aw.. my dear beloved cousin Grace is talking to me...doing bio. whoopdidoo!
Mmm... I just made the perfect brownie for tomorrow's bake sale. I'm so tempted to save a few slices for a couple of friends. Gonna bake one batch for April's birthday cuz she's addicted to them. I bet you, if I died within the next year, the one thing people would say they remember about me are the brownies I make.. -_-. haha.. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
You know how the Bible says that you can't love people if you can't love yourself... I don't really get that. How can you not love other people when you don't love yourself? It doesn't make sense to me.. Can someone help me clarify... viv.. lois.. kitty... anyone.... I mean, I really do not like the proportions of my body.. though I know the Bible says we were 'fearfully and wonderfully made' but I can't help but want to be thin. It's been plaguing me for I don't know how long and it makes me miserable. I know, it sounds very sad but I can't help it. The other day I was looking at my old sticker photos and all these different photographs of when I was in HK and I've gained so much weight and I hate it. I hate it so very much.
Okay anyway I think I'm gonna leave now.. have to finish some work and look up a few things. Ergh. I don't want the weekend to come.. two hours of worship team which will probably last longer due to AV system set ups, babysitting, violin lesson and studying for math.. And I'm very nervous for Sunday cuz I have a duet with someone but I need to set the right tempo and I keep screwing up... Okie dokie. Until tomorrow.

Ew.. these strawberries have this watery taste to them.. nasty. :P... I just learnt that Audio Adrenaline, Relient K and Switchfoot are coming to Wonderland on May 6th! So that's what Derek and Grace were talking about.. geez.. After they told me they got THESE TICKETS to a concert I was like who are they... lol.. Iono who switchfoot is.. I've heard of Relient K and Audio Adrenaline..
Yup yup.. my mom and I went to buy chinese groceries and we bought green tea ice cream and mango popsicles! Mmmm.. it's got actual 'mango' or some fruit in it.. real neat.. And I got my mom hooked on green tea ice cream.. I gave her one scoop and she asked for more afterwards (if you know her, she's not exactly the type to ask for more dessert.. I am.. :P). Yeah.. and today worked on math for so long and I am done! Stupid transformations.. blech.
whoohoo.. I got all the webcam pics we took at Kitty's house.. now to digitally improve the colours and contrast... How annoying. At least I have the 'automatic' button.. lol.. it does all the colour changing for me.. whoohoo... go me!
Meh.. dont feel like blogging much today.. just wanna do nothing and think about how much it sucks to have to wake up super early tomorrow.. are the leafs winning... they better be... Lol... okie dokie.. I'm out for today.

The one thing that man underestimates about God is His longing desire to forgive us.

Wow. Today was absolutely amazing! I can't believe it.. lol.. Starting from yesterday... at the sleepover.. Although we didn't do much, just sitting there talking, watching the Bachelor (Moe and Kitty ruined the ending for me!!! :() taking random pictures and braiding Moe's hair (lol) was really fun.. And we slept really late... According to Moe, Kitty and I were having a 'sleep talk' conversation.. and it went something like this:
kitty: Hey Sam
Me: yeah?
Kitty: Folder
LOL. I have no idea what 'folder' meant.. Lol.. What folder? And she kicked me in the face in the middle of the night. -_-. Anyway, we woke up at like 7:45 am to get ready and Dan came over and we all went to Tim Horton's for breakfast... then as Kitty went to get ready, the rest of us went upstairs to write her card and wrap the worship cd we got her (More like Moe did but that's beside the point! Besides, Kitty likes it! YAY!!!). We waited for Alice and Janet to come by with the roses (pink and white roses with yellow daffodils). We made sure to take a ton of pics of Kitty to embarrass her. LOL. Sucker! The testimony was sooo touching though. I was gonna cry. Seriously, the girl who went up there just spoke her heart out: about how God delivered her even though her mom had cancer, her grandfather died, she had two part time jobs and her university didn't allow her to continue her program cuz her marks were plummeting... She said that she felt as if all the people who were dear to her were fading away from her. She went into major depression but decided to let God have her life. She was accepted into Ryerson for fashion (so hard to get in) and got an internship in NY.. When she returned she discovered one of her closest friends had passed away a few days ago.... And the way she said it was so touching. I was on the brink of tears but not gonna cry sitting next to Alice and Lois. LOL.. but it was soo good and she was crying through the whole thing... she told us about how she didn't want the sympathy from her friends because she had so much pride in herself.. she wanted to rely on herself and she tried to keep this 'I'm so happy with my life" facade... I can't explain it.. She said it so well I can't repeat the words.. But she's okay now I think..
anyway, afterwords we took dozens of pictures outside in the warm sunshine. We walked to the plaza nearby to eat... Lois, Moe, Alice, Kitty and I walked there while Chislon drove the rest of them there. It was a gorgeous day. All eleven of us ate at this restaurant called "Asia Hut": Chislon, Nathan, Wilfred, Kitty, Lois, Alice, me, Viv, Janet, Dan, and Moe. It was really fun.. Then Chislon drove everyone back to church and Lois, Moe, Alice and I went to get ice cream from Baskin Robbins to eat while walking back. Did I say what a beautiful day it was?
Anyway, I slept as soon as I got home and then my parents and I went to the Signature Art show thingie downtown, came back and I finally got to eat sweet and sour fish at one of the restaurants in FMP.. You do not know how long I have been waiting ever since I returned from HK. ARGH! LOL..
And now I found Janet accepted Christ! that is just totally amazing.. I can't believe it!! I'm so happy for her and Viv who has been praying for her since Gr 10.. That is utterly utterly amazing. I am so speechless....
Anyway, so that was my day.. Lol. I wanna get my pictures develoepd.. but I still have like ten to take.. ARGH. I'm floating on cloud number 9 right now.. Lol.. Earth to Sam! No! wait... let me correct myself: Middle earth to sam! LOL... funny! haha.. okay.. -_- Btw, viv send me the details on the Chris Tomlin concert.... Wow.. you have a vision man... You have some vision don't you? Well I hope you're right.
I've been having a few issues with trying to love those who I don't like at all... and I found this passage the other day,
"'But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and on the unjust , too. If you love only those who love you, what good is that? even corruup tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans (non believers) do that."
It's so difficult to do that.. I mean when you hate someone it's so hard to try to love them because you are blinded by their faults.. Yeah.. I will have to work on that one.... It's so difficult... Oh. Here's a good verse too!!
"You can enter God's Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose the easy way. But the gateway to life is small, and the road is narrow, and only a few ever find it."
Oh yes.. the narrow road.. lol. but I'm happy. The narrow road is better. Though it's harder, we will reap the rewards in the end.

He has risen. It is finished. My goodness today was amazing!

So tired.. I went driving for the first time today. My instructor expected me to know a bunch of stuff as if I have driven before.. I'm so sleepy... Woke up today and went to worship team practice which went over an hour... Then went driving and freaked myself (and the instructor) out. Now I've packed and am ready go to swimming and then to Buffet King then I'm gonna migrate to Lois's house for a night with Kitty, Viv, Lois and Moe.. am I missing anyone? People are gonna meet us there at MCBC... people from UHS I guess. Is Steph and Alli? I'm kinda confused at the moment. Lol.. Whatever. Oh yeah, Steph isn't allowed. Now I remember. Btw, I'm blogging early just in case I can't reach a computer later on in the night.
Anyway, so yes.. This is just for precautions just in case Lois doesn't lend me her comp or I can't get to it...
Tania

Why aren't you online.. Lol. I came on early just in case I can't be reached by MSN later. Lol. I'm so disappointed you're not online. -_-. Yeah as you can see I'm still alive even after driving around the neighbourhood.. I survived! whoo hoo. Lol. I don't really think it's fun though. Aw, I won't be able to talk to you for like four days! -_-. I guess I'll just have to find other means to amuse myself. lol. Not gonna go on the comp that much then.. Must find some other things to do. So anyway I hope you like the birthday present cuz I was totally freaking out beforehand. I like the card cover. Lol. It looks very contemporary... Andy Warhol minus the colour changes. Can you smell it? cuz I think I've been desensitized from sitting in it too long. So I was wondering if you found all my little symbols and whatnot in the scrapbook. If not, here they are:
Layout #1- The handwriting background.. Self explanatory.
-The sepia toned, black and white, and colour photographs: Past and present.
-Gold angel- obviously from the quote
Layout #2- Blue and orange: LOL.. You should know what that means
Layout #3- For the quote on the left hand side on the second layout. On looking behind and in front and beside.. Get it? Lol.. Two irises in the gloom. Yup. Haha... Yeah... You msut think me really weird or something
So yes, that's all for now... I love you a lot and I'm kinda disappointed you're not ONLINE!! ARGH!!! HAHa.. your nickname is very depressing. cough. any meaning to it? Okay I gtg! See ya.

Tired.. but feeling good. Feeling sleepy now.. I just want to relax.. but I have math plus I'm supposed to make this other scrapbook thing for April cuz Dorothy saw Tania's and told me to make one for her (April 29). Ergh.. And I was gonna make one for *********. LOL. Was extremely stressed.. and I mean EXTREMELY stressed today and very very spazztic. Lol.. Excessive amount of energy= a lot of arm flinging. Haha... and a lot of nervous laughter.. I don't even know why I had so much anxiety in me..
I realized how many cliques there are with cliques.. Within a group of people they always bunch together into even smaller 'teams' or 'couples' or 'triples'. It annoys me sometimes.. See, the thing about having a 'best friend' or having a couple of 'best friends' is that you may prevent yourself from making other friends... And you cannot totally rely on a couple of friends... Yeah, so it's good to expand the horizons.
When you look around at friends.. have you noticed how each person has some way of dressing? Like Mitch, Steph and Alli (and perhaps Tania?) are in the athletic wear: hoodies, puma, jerseys, basketball wear and Paul Frank (okay that's not totally 'athletic' but I'll stick it in that category). And there are those who go by colours like Moe and perhaps Alice: Blue and white in the different shades: electric, ultramarine, baby, cobalt, cerulean, aubergine..... And then there are people who wear some typical kind of clothing you know... Like Leaf or Lois. Leaf: cargos with red t shirt or long sleeve with a t shirt over it. And Lois: black or tan pants with a t shirt or hoodie or her long black knit coat thingie... Haha... And then there are people like Vanessa. Fashionistas who layer over layers of denim, Parasuco, Triple Five Soul, Paul Frank and Roots. You know.. the expensive brand names.
Haha... I'm not really anything myself.. Very ecclectic. Just take whatever I feel like looking for the day.... One day it's 'athletic', then the next more 'business' like and whatever.. It's much easier that way so I can 'transform' into what I please and not get people going "OMG why are you wearing that??!! I have never seen you in that before!". It's fun to be flexible... I can't stand being one type for too long... It makes me feel bordered in expectations and boundaries... Like I can bring a purse to school if I wanted to or a sling on... for some people, the feel so 'formal' carrying a purse cuz they're used to one way or another.. and vice versa.. And I like the flexibility of interchanging. Makes me feel less self conscious. Like a chameleon.. And that's the way I am.
Lol... Nice description of your house, Kitty. Inspired by yours truly! ;). (Stop laughing at me.... I can't help getting THAT stressed... and that stupid table.. ARGH.. caused me so much frustration.) I can just picture it in my head.. your kitchen that is. Light wood flooring and speckled marble top counters with frosted glass cabinets and little lights to illuminate the cupboards with an island and tall fluted bar stools parked underneath. And of course a pearly finished hardwood floor.. Man I just learnt how expensive hardwood flooring is in Interior Design.. Did you know 'laminant' is just a photo of wood stuck on a board and slotted into your floor? Lol.. No wonder it's so cheap.
You know what? There's not much of a difference between a friend and a husband/boyfriend. The only difference that stands between the two is the physical intimacy but other than that, they're exactly the same. If you think about it, you would share your 'deep' thoughts with both husband and friend, have fun and do whatever... there's not much of a difference at all. So if a person can find fulfillment in her friends, she would not need a boyfriend to make her feel 'complete'. This is starting to sound like an essay.. hahaha.. but it's so true. And there are things that you wouldn't tell a boyfriend or whatever.. you'd most likely tell a friend especially when it comes to thoughts and dreams and whatnot...
Mmm.. I smell mango.. LOL... not real mango just the escada stuff.. A lot of people like it.. that's good. :)
*YAWN*. tomorrow I will be sleeping in thornhill. Lol... Next to a person who wants to murder me (Moe)! Haha.. Betcha can't reach me on my air mattress! ah ha! I hope they have yellow and white roses... why those two? Purely for symbolic purposes! Yellow= friendship, white=purity. Hopefully some grocery store will have them. Goody..
I can't believe today is over! Lol. Wow... the party went by too fast.... Kinda rushed I think... I wanan do our dessert thingie! but my house is sooo puny. But whatever.. if everyone wants to... chaotic mess.. Lol. And yes, let's go have a tour of my orange room. :S. Cuz it's soooo exciting!! HAHA... and cannot yet again, fit THAT many pple in there.. I should finish cleaning it.. wow.. I have a ton of paper on the floors from today's last minute gift making. And play foozeball! HAHAHA... and watch a good movie.. say.. how about LOTR? or play X box! Like how about LOTR??? LOL.. I'm good at it! HHAH.. Whatever.. I think it'll be really fun.. something different.
Okay that is it for today.. I am so totally beat... I have worship team practice again at 11 tomorrow.. At least I can sleep in.. hey.. that's my definition of sleeping in. Lol. Tired.. gonna go sleep and finish listening to my cd! :)... Night...

Sorry, stupid internet did not work yesterday. Lalala.. I feel very tired and slightly stressed.. ARGH.. I wish I could be at two places simultaneously.. I could do things much faster but no..... I have to be running and checking back and forth.. very annoying.
anyway, school was so boring today. Very dull. Mean Alice had to use LOTR against me and make me go to history class instead of skipping. At fourth I had already decided to skip since Kitty skipped anthro with the exact same teacher and steph and mitch told me too as well (duh...).. and then Alice comes along with my portfolio and gives me some lecture on how Samwise Gamgee would never skip cuz he never took the ring from Frodo and when he did.. he gave it back. -_-.. EVILNESS! Lol. I know, all you non LOTR fans are just rolling your eyes at me.. I just know it.. Ah taking me so long to just make a blog up to here.. a whole hour.. whoops. lol... things on my mind..
Yeah, so shopping was kinda fun... ahem. My stomach still feels queasy from all that perfume we sprayed on all these sample cards: alli's Tommy Hilfiger, Miracle, Escada, Dolly, Glow and obviously Steph's Ralph Lauren.. She sprayed it 11 times on herself.. or was it 15? Yeah.. so it was quite intoxicating (Oh look lois! You learnt a new word!). We bumped into Steph Chow there who hung out with us for the rest of the time since her friends didn't show up at the theater. And I got my Escada perfume... Mmm... Made me so hungry after smelling it... Lol.. Reminds of mangos, and sunny beaches. Yeah.. so I burnt a huge whole in my bank account... as well as because I bought a cd. The new Wow 2004! Whoohoo.. It sounds good.. at least the first three songs! HAHA... Yes, so now I'm really screwed in terms of money usage. LOL.. Need to start saving again.. Lalalala... Life is good... Busy. But good.
I'm having an artist's block.. ARGH.. Can't do this.. Okay.. I really have to get off now... This is no good.... Look at the time.. NOO!!!!!
It's like Good Friday service at 10, violin lesson, last minute gift stuff and then party, and then worship team practice from 9:30-11:30! Die die die! LOL.. anyway... must work... see everyone later.

Wow, I feel as if I did nothing today.. absolutely nothing. School, Ecoaction, then went to hang out with Alice and people down at the caf for a while since they were having that b day party for Dan, came home and did math, then worked till I got sooo hungry, went to check some stuff online, went to eat dinner and drove somewhere to get a present and came home. And here I am. At the end of the day and what have I accomplished? Nothing that anyone would care for. Silly me. Why do I even try. People don't see the extra effort I go into doing something for them. They just expect me to do it. And it hurts.. And I could be using that time for other stuff.. but no...
Sometimes I wish that my heart was made out of marble: cold and hard. Then nothing can touch me and I wouldn't care.... When it hurts, it hurts. And it runs deep. Gonna go play on X Box with bro.. do something a bit 'productive'.
* * * *
Well that was loads of fun.. Should start playing more X Box maybe.. even though I just scream and hit all the buttons that say 'A' and 'X' (Or was it Y?) for 'defense' or something. And my brother is just rolling his eyes at my stupidity. But it's fun nevertheless... Not the game, just how I handle the controls.. and watching the characters do stupid things.. lol... Cheap thrills.
Sometimes I just wanna scream at people to leave me alone and go away cuz they just get under my skin.. but I can't.. I don't want to be alone yet I don't want people around me. That doesn't even make sense.
Everything was fine in Grade 9... The circle of friends were different and it was light and fun... I don't know anymore.. the transitions... I miss Sarah. I want her to come back from Colorado. I don't even know if I'll know her when she returns.. I remember the Sarah from Grade 9... She's probably changed but whatever... We'll go watch Return of the King to complete our 'tradition' that we started when the Two Towers came out... And we'll eat white chocolate dip and have a sleepover at your new house..Why can't you go on MSN anymore. I miss you Sarah. Teach me to horseback ride. And we'll go to watch the TSO play the entire soundtrack and reminisce about the good old times with Cass, you, me, Danielle, Lauren, Julia, Chantel, Lois and Leaf. From swimming at Cass's house... oh remember Amy and her harp? How she tried to teach us to play it? And we failed miserably.... yeah.... And remember waking up real early for swim practice and having to wait for you to brush your hair? yeah.. good times... and now you're gone. but you will come back.

Okay I can't blog anymore. My brain is a block of cement. And tears are coming down my face and the screen is just a blur. The words are just blending into illegible blotches. I'm out.

"The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?"
- Henry David Thoreau

Jesus, lover of my soul.
Jesus, I will never let you go.
You've taken me from the miry clay,
Set my feet upon the rock and now I know...
I love you, I need you.
Though my world may fall I'll never let You go.
My Saviour, my closest friend.
I will worship you till the very end.


The song just popped up into my head while I was vaccuuming the floors. :) I like the song cuz its very simple: plain and unadorned. There are a ton of other worship/christian songs I like but not gonna put them all down cuz it'll just bore people. haha.. Speaking of Christian music.. It's funny how people have this misconception that 'Christian' or 'church' music consists of only hymns.. it's really odd.. I guess they're just too ignorant or have read too many books or watched too many movies where the nuns are singing hymns and whatnot... Like this song is christian and it's rock! But it's quite old.. relatively.. two years ago? Most churches have worship songs and if there are hymns, they're more contemporary. The team consists of usually a drummer, a piano/keyboard, guitars, singer and if you're lucky a bass.. I love the bass! :D It adds some undertone to the whole melody thingie.. lol.. Hm.. and did you know that there's christian rap like Tate, and hard rock like Skillet? My friend brought his Skillet cd and it's quite good.. at least one song I liked cuz I'm not really into that LOUD music.. I heard there's some christian rapper who sounds eerily like Eminem.. that's neat.. and there's R & B and pop (such as Stacie Orrico.. wow, I've heard her songs so many times on Kiss 98.5 :S). It's kinda neat to see them outreaching through music cuz music is such a powerful force and it's amazing at what it can do to people... good or bad. So when I go to the christian bookstore I'm gonna get a bunch of cds..
Speaking of music, it's nice to know some people who like soundtrack music like me! HAHA.. Funny that Vanessa, Vicky and Sophia think the last song in the Gladiator soundtrack 'Now We Are Free', is a sad song... I guess so.. in a way.. but I love it cuz it does have some hint of hope but does that make any sense? I like it. I think he was better off dead anyway. LOL. He was reunited with the two people he loved the most in the world. Which I think is a happy ending.. or else where would he go? Start a new life? New people? Marry the queen or something? I like the black guy.. the African soldier, Maximus's friend.. He's awesome! LOL. Ya so anyway, I didnt think there were that many people who were into soundtrack music or anything like that... Everyone I know seems to be into like R & B, pop, and especially rap.... usher, beyonce, or whatever... Not that I don't like them but it's so mainstream you know? It gets a bit cliche and boring after a while... I haven't been listening to the radio in ages.. so I have no idea what is 'new' or 'hip' or whatnot.. LOL... one day..after I get bored of Gladiator... That's it for now... too busy doing other stuff to blog at the moment... yay! Shortened week!

Wow.. very hectic day today.. Only got a little while to go online.. boo.. sucks to have a ton of stuff due tomorrow. LOL.. well it's my fault for procrastinating for so long.. guess I deserved it. :P Yay, I got a copy of all the songs we're gonna play for the service... I attempted playing along with the cd though... I'm really used to just having guitar chords on top of the lyrics and it's kinda like jazz. You make it all up... basically improv. But Spencer gave me REAL music and I was like "whoa... what am I supposed to play.. I can't play the melody.. it sounds so bland" So now I have no idea as to what I am supposed to do.. follow the music? So what I did was just by ear, make stuff up. Am I good or what? LOL. Not really... I'm gonna screw up big time.. And we got a new song and I'm supposed to do a introduction duet with a flute player.. AH!! Doom doom doom. lol. They expected me to sight-read the harmony as well as transpose it an octave higher. Sorry, when you have so many mumbo jumbo chords, it's kinda hard to pick out the harmony from all the little black dots and put it an octave higher especially when you wanna figure out the fingering. -_-. Robyn wants me to play it at her funeral cuz she thinks it sounds gorgeous.. HAHA.. it's supposed to be a happy song. What a weirdo.
Bah, screw the homework. Math took less time than expected. Yahoo.. AT least I'm done one out of three.. :S

Lol, Sophia thinks we should get together once a month and try a new restaurant or do a cooking party thing. LOL.. Next time we're doing Korean BBQ cuz Julia's never had it before.. then we plan to go to the Marche after and then Il Fornello's and then... It's just nice cuz then we can just get together and talk and have some good food.. Food is always good!

How nice.. Kitty did a blog for me as I requested. Haha... I'll do one of you tomorrow, don't have time today.. or the day after... when I have time.. Perhaps after our stupid history presentation. Btw, you still owe me a note. Write it in anthro when you have nothing to do. Hopefully, you'll have done your ISP.. noo.. that means you're going to the library for lunch tomorrow. Ah you suck, I'll visit you if we're not going to Civic Center. Wow... tomorrow is Passover right? That is neat.. is it? Yes... wait.. LOL.. can't remember the holidays anymore.... Brain is dead...

Decided to put up the Kitty blog, so I'll remember it forever and a day. It cheers me up... Am I only good for the baking? Thanks a lot. -_- lol:

samantha wong.
i was really afraid to type about you... for......ergh ah nevemrind. you know. but ...yes, now i finally get a chance to blog about you. and you should really feel special cuz im suppose to be doing my ISP, but im blogging about you. so.. im still not done reading my ISP book.. and im on like page 90 something now :D i improveeed :P only like 150 more pages to go :D! then i can write something and hand it in tomorrow and fail! haha. so.. samantha.. haha.. its funny how i am the only person that calls you by your full name :) alright. so how did we first ever talk.......hmm i wonder.. oo this goes back to lois. i remmeber one day in the summer or something.. or mb christmas.. my memory was quite bad.. lois was at my house... and i was on her msn.... and u got piss at me.. and i got piss at you... i remember that.. see ! u know what i mean by i remember wierd things? ;) haha.. that was kinda like the fight of the day! lol. MEH.. lets not go into that now.. =/ oh yeah, i guess i've started talking to you this semester since we have the same lunch together =) which is soo awesome cuz i learn sooo much from you.. about evertyhing.. from baking.. to god to... who knows! haha... i remember there was this one email that u sent everyone and said how u thought about everyone? haha something like that.. and then i wrote u back a note about YOU! LOL.. i guess thats when our "note" exchanging started ;)! pretty cool eh? and then.. oo yes.. it gotta be blogs.. cuz u talked to me about lois.........and haha.. wow i think ur the first person that i share with...... about.. lois ;) and then u show me what she wrote to me.. and i show u what i wrote to her..e tc etc... and then u started to make ur own blog =) and asked how i was soo talented to find a nice layout :P and then.. i show u the site.. and then.. and then what happen.. oh yeah....... u got that ugly old lemon tree thing that i cannot read.. haha that layout is soo ugly.. well its a nice picture.. evne i liked it. but i cannot press on the scroll bar and i cannot read ur stupid font.. then u have a tag board =) and i tagged it ;)! .. then. .next u found a cherry layout.. which is what you have right now........HMMM.. i like that one too.. i was gonna use it,, but too bad, i dun like cherrys much....... and u knowww that MY layout is better..ooh look at all this blahing.. its great isnt it ;) well this is what u wanted.. last night.. i remmeber sammy said KITTY!!!! with like full caps and everything.. i was like whoaaa!! okay okay.. i'll write about you.. no worries! which is wierd.. are u turning into lois? FULL of CAPS? this is an exmaple of me and lois' conversations:

LOIS: HI KITTTTTTTTTTTY YUNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!
KITTY: HI PRINCESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
LOIS: LETS GO DOWNTOWN TOMRROWW!!!
KITTY: OKAY SEE U THERE.
LOIS: WE'll GO TO EATON .. BUS THERE.. SUBWAY.. etc etc
LOIS: ITS GONNA BE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNNNNNNNN
KITTY: good night sweet dreams i love you!
LOIS: I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SEE U TOMORROW ^_______^

sound familar lois? ;) whoa whoa.. i gotta remind myself.. this post is for samantha.. cuz she requested it ;) and i wanted to make a post for her anyways.. okay if i have a choice to who i want to room with when i got o unvierstiy, i will seriously pick samantha.. 1. she can bake 2. she can bake good 3. she can bake <- hahah! nowadays we talk a lot more.. on msn and our note exchanging stuff got us much much closer. good to have a christian friend by my side :) alright.. i think its about time to start my isp.. dont you agree? yeah.......... ARGH i still didnt start. stab me. agian.

- kitz was numb @ 6:32 PM

Wow today was soo busy.. Can't believe it's over. Doubly screwed cuz I still have to do my history presentation, interior design write up, math and finishing my graphite drawing all for Monday.. screwed screwed screwed. Lol.
So, my day was crazy... At worship team practice, I got there half an hour late cuz my friend called me last minute for a ride and she lives like Highway 7.. near Time Square.. And when we got there, not everyone was there... and then Spencer our worship team leader told me to sight read a song and I died.. LOL.. I'm okay now, just had to recover.. not use to playing in front of people anymore.. Hm... when Derek borrowed my violin to do improv, I had to sing.... Angie was very surprised when she heard me... :S. She thinks I have a good voice but I think it's really weak but whatever... I'll stick with my violin... Was half an hour late for violin lesson cuz I lost track of time playing the duets....dim sum took so long cuz Julia was downtown getting an interview from Sutherland Model Agency (we'll be her entourage.. haha), Maria came late and the place was packed. After when we were driving to my house, they squealed when they saw the Colonial houses that were imitations of the old English houses... Are they that special? Lol. They were also the first people to see my 'newly renovated' room. They loved it very much... My orange walls are awesome and so is my mural! LOL. Sophia declared that she would commission Maria and I to do her walls. lol. They think my room is cluttered.. in a good way.. what Sophia called an "artsy blend of past and contemporary items" LOL. I guess it is what it is. She likes my big big window that looks out to the backs of the other houses... and the fact that I can actually sneak out if I opened my window big enough.. the problem is how do I get down from the second floor. LOL. and why the heck would I sneak out anyway? She doesn't understand how I can tolerate having small pictures of skinny models on my inspiration boards and collages and whatnot... The truth is, I can't tolerate them.. lol.. that's why I have them there.. to keep me motivated to do more exercise.. very sad, but how else would I get off the chair and do some exercise? Ooo.. speaking of exercise, they've put up the tennis nets so I can go play tennis as soon as the crummy weather passes! Very excited! Maybe Vanessa and Sophia can come over and play with me one day.. But I think I'd be picking up more balls than hitting.. HAHA.. :P. Yup, so we just chilled, and Sophia wanted to buy my watercolour irises painting from me but I have my sentimental attachment to it.. not to mention all the hardwork I put into that piece of paper. When Vicky came by we made all these cakes (Oh yea, they came over to do the Greek architecture presentation.. and we were gonna bake a cake.. LOL.. in a form of the Parthenon. Sophia and Maria, who aren't in my group, decided to be nice and volunteer to help). It was really funny... the temple looked hilarious and it was all iced and stuff.. we decided to put pink and blue sprinkles.. Vicky accidentally opened the purple sprinkle container and they fell through...Sophia exclaimed "Look! the blue and pink sparkles are turning purple!" Puahaha.. that was really funny. Our temple is in the fridge at the moment. Yes, so to make a long story short, whilst the cakes were baking, we plotted and tried to predict how to control the group of the most annoying guys in our class who won't shut up and are so sloooow... lol.. it was like a mind game... Anyway....
When they left, I just did my stupid graphite drawing.. so screwed, not done.. ARGH... Tomorrow I have to work hard...

Oh thanks Kitty, "Sam you are cool too". Lol. That was such an afterthought. As if you were forced to say it just in case I'd start screaming at you. LOL. I expect a nice blog for me tomorrow... ISP done or not. LOL... Kidding...

Anyway, gotta go now.. one less hour of sleep.. I'm off on some tangent of my busy day... who even cares. Lol. Lalala... sleep...

I think this whole issue on what are our human rights is soo... annoying. People use it so much in order to get their way that it becomes an utter excuse. There was an American atheist who tried to take out "In God we trust" or something like that from some legal document or something like that in the US.. I've forgotten now.. His reason being the government should not be of one religion and because he had his 'rights' to speak out and take out the phrase. Oh please. If everyone had 'their' rights, we'd be living in a chaotic society.. wait a minute.. we are living in one right now. Hm.. I wonder if there would be a day when some Canadian atheist is gonna speak up and say "Let's take out the 'God keep our land glorious and free' from the Canadian national anthem, because we have our rights". And then there's bill that's trying to label the Bible as 'hate literature' and to ban it because it condemns homosexuals. -_-. From what I remember when we had Canadian history, people came to Canada to get that freedom of religion not to be refrained from it. So it really annoys me to see people doing that.
And another thing... the Black Eyed Peas cd... lol. They have one good song "where is the love" and then the rest of the cd is full of trash. What a get up to sell cds.. sing of love, compassion and hope in one song and then telling people to just 'shut up' in the other. And they croon "Do you practice what you preach". Puahaha... Anyway, some random thought when I heard the song and I remember hearing some other crummy song by them and it was like "Woah.. this is the same band? The same one who preaches about loving others and pleading to the Father up above to show mercy? Dude, you have got some odd set of values." Haha.
hm... I guess that's all that's been getting under my skin for the past day or two. Haha.. Good luck to those who are participating in 30 Hour Famine. When I did it two years ago, I just slept the entire day. You don't get hungry after a while, you just feel bloated. Like me. haha.
Vanessa and I went to two bike shops today to ask for donations for Eco Action.. the first one.. we entered and we said "Hi we're students from Unionville High School" and the manager says "You're looking for two boyfriends?" Ya.. not off to a good start right there and when we made our pitch he was looking all around and finally told us "Sorry, our budget for advertising has gone". He is not a good businessman. If he was, he would know that a measly $25 gift certificate cannot get you anything in a bike shop and he'd be missing on free advertising. So we went to the second one and the guy was pretty smart in saying he doesn't have anythign to lose. Good good.. we celebrated by getting chocolate dipped soft ice cream cones. Now I feel guilty again for eating something so sugary.. ARGH. HAHa.
No fair gotta wake up real early tomorrow.. I don't wanna do work.. and I have math hw... *grumble grumble* So that's it for now! :P. Aw.. Viv just msged me on her laptop from church... what the heck is she doing there at this hour. Ergh and why is everyone suddenly msging me when I'm about to leave!? AH!!!

So bored.. have math quiz tomorrow. Grrr... Dum dum dum...
Dreading Saturday, kind of.. I have a super busy schedule.. ugh... starting at 9 am in the morning:
9-11:00am: Worship team practice
11:30-12:45pm: Violin lesson
1:30-2:30pm: Dim sum (at the request of Julia) with Julia, Vanessa, Maria and Sophia.
3:00-6:00pm: Vicky, Vanessa, Sophia and Maria comes to my house to work on Greek architecture presentation. We're baking a cake and making a model of some Greek theater or temple out of cake. LOL. Sopha and Maria are graciously offering to help.. with the thought of cake dancing in their minds. haha.
7pm: Maybe go to family gathering if I'm not too tired.

AH and I still have to work on stupid graphite sketch. Grr... stupid stupid.

You know what I was thinking about.. I've been thinking a lot about dying. No, I'm not suicidal. I'm not really afraid of dying... and I hope of natural causes if it was something else, I am afraid. Lol. But then again, this is all talk and not when I'm actually facing death's door. I think of it is as Jesus is simply calling me home. And one day I will see Him and Heaven.. I wonder what it looks like.. Lol. I can't imagine it. My imagination is so limited. I'm just sad that I may not see everyone there. Grr.. anyway....

All alone at home.... parents and bro have gone to church for several reasons.. talking to Viv.. [I hope you're feeling better... You cannot miss this math quiz!! I'll pray for you tonight.] What happened to Kitty's blog? Weird.
*yawn* gonna go work on Tania's birthday present. I can't use rulers.. how sad of me.