Um, Hello.

Wow I think this is the first time that I've only posted once in a month.
Oh happy new year and merry christmas.

I stopped blogging because I just wanted to forget all that's occurred this past month. Not that it was anything terrible but the frustration and the pain of knowing what I used to have mixed in with still trying to adjust to life/work here has made me not want to write at all because all that I would be writing would be rants. And I don't want to look back at a blog full of anger.

Im sick again. I've been getting sick approximately once a month- this time with weird stomach problems. Stupid HK- it's forcing my immune system to take an upgrade.

I've also started/launched two new blogs. I'm not sure why I have three distinct blogs for three separate interests of mine but I do. I've launched one that records all my baking that I started about three months ago that I've been telling most of my close friends about. I recently started one for fashion, specifically one that records my own style for a few experiments sake. That one I've been less gung ho about telling people due to its narcissistic nature. I mean it's basically saying "hey guys, look at what I'm wearing today!" Mmmm not my cup of tea. I won't be advertising either blogs here- you'll find the baking one if you're my friend on facebook or msn. You'll find the fashion one if I told you personally (or unless you ask of its existence which I would not mind sharing either way). If you know all three of my blogs, well then, you're about the only one who does because I trust you. Anatomy of an Artist will always remain the thought/text heaviest of my blogs to flex my brain muscles and allow me to flesh out my tangled thoughts. I just don't like the idea that people know me 'inside out' through my text and photo blogs. It seems rather overwhelming and makes me uneasy. "You know what I'm wearing AND thinking. Isn't that kinda creepy"
One day I hope to merge the two photo-heavy blogs together to create one blog aka a portfolio. Traditional art portfolios are dead in my eyes, a blog-style portfolio is what I am aiming for which synthesizes both thought, process and work into one steady stream of raw material.


The other day I was reading my personality type under the Myers-Brigg personality test I did back in high school. I was an ENFP. To this day, I am surprised at the precision this test defines me. Although I hate being 'type-casted' the ENFP personality description describes me to a tee. Known as 'The Inspirer'- I remember the past year when I was working on my thesis, I began creating my own 'company' by trying to find a principle that I would want my employees to work under. After writing two pages of endless subconscious thought, it came down to one thing: to inspire creativity within the company. That whatever the company did, it would always think in the 'what if' instead of the 'what is'. Now that I reread the Myers-Brigg test, the more I am in awe of its accuracy. I don't think any part of that description I could say is not me. I rule by morals, am people-driven, lack commitment (erm) and hate menial daily tasks.
In another description of the ENFP it says this: "ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it."
SO TRUE.

So the past week I've been spending a great portion of it with my cousin who came back from Philly. He had 10 friends come back with him from Australia and the States. It's been interesting. They are the people I would avoid on a normal basis- you know- the popular, smart bunch of guys who like to party 24/7 (from what I recall, there was not one day,or should I say 'night', they did not party here in HK). I guess this comes from my ENFP personality- this easy-to-judge nature of mine. I guess it comes from a resentment that I know these people in return would certainly not hang out with me because I am not the party-type. I don't like to drink, smoke, grind at clubs and stay up late talking to random strangers. And because I do none of the former, I am type-casted as the 'good girl', the 'goody two-shoe' and the 'innocent one'. People like my cousin, wouldn't take notice of me nor care to hang out with me precisely because I do not partake in those activities (there is no reason for him anyway). People always say, "Don't taint her because she's so innocent." I may not know many things not because I am ignorant, but because I don't see the reason why I would need to know such things.

The reason why I never partied was because I never saw the benefits that would come out of it logically speaking. I never saw the need to 'rebel' as a teenager in the most typical forms of teenage rebellion. Rebellion isn't about drinking or partying to start an uproar against the parental figureheads. That's just cliche. I always went against the grain in my own subtle ways. Starting in high school I never went into Life Sci (not that there's anything wrong with that) and went into the ambiguous field called 'design', I chose to go to a US college and was one out of two to actually go to the States for school, in college I chose not to go into the typical fashion program because I didn't want to pigeon-hole myself and just have a sewing/croquis portfolio despite a lot of people questioning if I had a direction in life, and in my department my roommate and I started a mini uproar with our heads because of the design of our course requisites and I chose to study fashion and sustainable design precisely because I did not see how using organic cotton was helping the environment. And now that I'm working, I started a mini uproar here questioning the legitimacy of every single task that I do. It's not to say that anything I mentioned about is unworthy but it wasn't for me. Rebelling for the sake of looking cool is stupid. Rebelling for a cause and a belief that you firmly believe in is something worth labouring over. It could be as superficial as questioning why every girl wears Ugg boots and hoodies and thinks it's fashionable and defining dress differently. I don't see why I have to dress like that so I don't. It's totally a small thing, but it's something I could change instantly- literally.

Anyhow, party boys do fascinate me because their thought pattern is the complete opposite of my own. Although I do distance myself from them my curiousity to figure out why they find fulfillment in such activities does interest me. My relatives borrowed their friend's baller yacht and we went sailing one day (fascinates me even more when people who drink get seasick so easily). I spent my Christmas at the Country Club for lunch and New Years at the Yacht Club with all of them at a black tie event. It was beautiful- the Yacht Club has Hong Kong as its backdrop and in the parking lot area they decorated the area with a Christmas tree, lights, balloons and poinsettias. Inside, the restaurant overlooked Kowloon side and every table was laden with silly circus hats, candles, party fare and twinkling tablecloth. There was a live band and a dance floor- one of the guys paid one of the others $150 to get up on the dance floor wearing a silly hat and do a solo dance for 30 seconds. It was the funniest thing ever.
While all the guys have been spending a large portion of their late mornings at the tailors for $1000 HKD custom-made tuxes, I opted to wear magenta for the ball. My initial thought was to wear sleek black but recalled that the majority of men would be wearing black and since black is the most popular shade of this year in womenswear, I was hedging a bet that most women would be as well (I wasn't wrong). Black is safe right? :P
I went for a magenta strapless dress I found in a slash-tag store in Central and got it altered from a UK size 10 to whatever I am. 'Magenta' and 'strapless' because I know in the past I would have never worn a saturated hue in a body-conscious dress. Consider it a psychological cure to a self-esteem issue through the physical and my own way of rebelling against being type-casted as the 'good girl'. The guy I sat across from at the dinner echoed the same sentiment and said he liked my choice in color as opposed to the black color palette. The guy next to me unnecessarily puts his hand on my back and asks me my preference in wine and apologizes that his fingers are cold. I must have flinched when I told him that I didn't like to drink (but you know I'm laughing on the inside).
Party guys, I will never be able to figure you out totally but I do understand a smidgen.
Besides that, I made my own jewelry for the event. I've started making my own things these days to keep my creative juices from stagnating- black Swarovski crystals, chains and black velvet ribbon close around the neck courtesy of Sham Sui Po garment district. I love that area. I'll post an entry in my fashion blog soon.

Anyhow, it was a somewhat lonely New Years. The countdown was lovely- all the buildings in HK went up in fireworks (although if I saw it from my temporary apartment, it would have been even better). It was lonely in a way because when I saw my cousin and his friends together, it made me miss my friends back at home. The other day someone asked me "do you miss home?" to which I asked, "which home are you referring to because I technically have not lived in Toronto for over four years." These questions are becoming more difficult to answer as time progresses. Last year everyone came over- I was exhausted but there was this warm familiarity that wasn't present this year. This year the first person people would turn to say "happy new years!" was not me but their significant other, or in the case of my cousin and his friends, each other. After that, they quickly hopped on cabs to go to the Grand Hyatt hotel for the Hed Kandi Circus party. Partyers. My other cousins and aunt and uncle went for a super early breakfast buffet they were hosting at the Yacht Club and at 3:30am, I knocked out at my uncle's place.

For the blog record, I went to Disneyland on the 26th. It's sad when I need a fake consumer-Christmas feeling derived from Disney but I miss home.

My apologies for any grammar mistakes: I've lost a lot of electrolytes today and am barely awake at 8pm. I slept 12 hours last night after having knocked out on my cousin while we were skyping (sad). I rarely sleep that much- it occurs once a year. I just feel exhausted and sluggish when I walk. My dad's back and we went shopping and Cova for tea (not the best idea in hindsight) but it was nice to spend time with him. =)

New Years Resolutions:
1. The average human uses 10% of their brain, I will use 15% (not quantifiable- I just thought it would be funny)
2. To be great at what I am good at.

There was one more but I do not recall at this moment (drinking Gatorade in hopes that it will come back to me).