Scandalous Women: The Apple vs. The Clothing
I am starting to feel the side effects of too much wind. Ugh. Not pretty. I wish I owned or could have access to some really long, impractical gowns for people to wear and for me to take pictures. I think I could then render the wind to do some interesting high fly motion pictures.
Wearing a silk dress yesterday was not the greatest idea- it was really annoying. That Saturday night, I planned my outfit to serve one purpose: to endure long hours in the hot sun of 36 degrees. But the problem was that it had to be relatively 'conservative' for church but light enough to wear outside later on (yet of course, since it was technically with Christians, you still have to wear something that covers one's body up. Because heavens! To even see a thigh- now that is very unchristian.) Anyway, I never really thought it would be that gusty. Oh the perilousness. I should have worn shorts- shorts that go to the shins to cover what skin there is. What was meant to be conservative ended up as an annoyance.
I was speaking to my cousin Grace who I had just given my dress to borrow for church. We were sitting in J Grill and she asked me if the dress had cap sleeves and I thought it did but asked her why it mattered anyway- it had straps! She then asked what the dress code was for RHCBC and if we had a 'no tanktops' policy. I was quite perplexed to begin with because I do not study what the people of the congregation wear in that perspective- I've just been told by my mom after once wearing shorts to church to never wear them again out of respect (now I say, to whom? To the congregation or to God?). Well I told her that I thought RHCBC really doesn't have a 'no tanktop' policy but then again our AC is so cold, I always bring a shrug or a sweater just in case I feel the draft during the sermon. Grace told me that once a girl wore a tank top to church- something sleeveless, and during the service she sneezed and not because she was cold. Well the lady who was speaking stopped what she was saying and in front of everyone, asked the girl if she was cold who in turn answered that she wasn't. Well the lady insisted that she wear someone else's jacket so she had to. When Grace got home after dinner at the Jap restaurant, she tried on the dress and her mom said the neckline was way too low for church. I suggested that she find a really thin tank top in some muted colour to wear underneath to cover what unforbidden area there was to see.
I understand that guys are more visual in that sense but women are no longer celebrating the way they were designed. I mean, what church tells their congregation there is a 'no tanktop policy'? It's an unspoken rule yes, because heaven forbid you show a little shoulder and clavicle. The silly thing is is that the summer is getting hotter thanks to global warming (it has never been this hot in Toronto at this time of the year) and yet are we still expected to cover up? Since I was little when shopping with my mom, she'd make me do a series of 'tests' (ex bending over) to ensure that my clothes stayed perfectly in position without drooping lest I revealed something. I once received a tube top (a shirt without sleeves or straps) as a gift but my mom started questioning whether it was safe to wear it or not and I never did. I remember that one Easter service I was on worship team as the violinist I was afraid that a knee length skirt and wedges would be too revealing despite my mom's constant assurance that it wasn't. And then she told me to not wear shorts in church. So can I wear them outside of church? But then is that in some way, leading a double standard?
The other day I saw Allison and her sister at FMP while I was at the bubble tea stand and I couldn't help but notice that they were wearing tank tops with denim skirts- mid thigh and little part of me wished that I had that kind of confidence- or more like the ability to do so without feeling like I made someone commit a sin. I've considered wearing stockings underneath my shorts and mini skirts but that's kind of ridiculous in 36 degree temperatures. On Sunday I saw Karen wearing a mint green tube top and thought "wow, is that allowed?" Not in a judging manner but surprised.
I am not rebellious against dress codes and being modest, I am just questioning where that fine line is. I am certainly not interested in leading guys on in that sense but I would like to air out my pores when it get hot and humid. I would also like to dress to please myself- I don't want to hide all the time.
So for the past month my mom has been always asking why I wear so much clothing. Today despite the 30 degree temp, I had two halter tops on and a long sleeve. Another day I had my thick black bolera on and my mom made me change into something lighter. In HK to solve this problem of 'immodesty', I wore a collared shirt on top of every scandalous thing to make it 'unscandalous'- and I wore them so much that one became permanently soiled with sweat at the back of the neck and one ripped in the sleeve.
As for bottoms, because I am a 5'8" asian, anything that cuts above my knee make my legs appear miles long. I know it sounds silly but it's true. If you're a magazine junkie like I am, one suggestion for short women is to wear miniskirts to make them appear taller whereas if I did, I'd be afraid of being called 'slutty'.
I've realized from understanding myself and seeing others, that Christian women all over have been taught by the church to fear their bodies. Because if you dare to wear something 'revealing' you either 1) get raped or molested by some dirty guy but it's ALL YOUR FAULT because you just called for it- you and your skirt. 2) allow a guy to have dirty thoughts about you but still, it's ALL YOUR FAULT because his thoughts are yours to control.
Tsk tsk women. Know that your beauty can wield great negative power in the minds of men. So fear the skin you're in. Cover it all up because YOU ARE the STUMBLING BLOCK for our Christian brothers over here. Remember? "The woman made me do it. She made me eat from the tree." I think we've taken this blame game way too far and point our fingers way too long at Eve to even remember there was an Adam or a serpent. Of course this is all about intentions- the reasons for why a girl dresses the way she does either to lure guys or to please herself or to unburden herself of the hot temperatures- but that's hard to tell most of the times because we see the shell before the thought.
So now I'm very self conscious of the things I wear- come to think of it- define 'skimpy clothing' because the lines are blurred for me. It's not a thing about personal discernment because if it was, we wouldn't have church members implying to teens to tone down their way of dress. It is no wonder that women fear themselves.
On the other hand I purchased a great pair of denim bermuda shorts for $25 at the Winners on Bloor today.
Oh and I saw a picture of Michelle Wie, the now highest paid female athlete (though tania thinks golf isn't a sport. :P). She's quite pretty.
Wearing a silk dress yesterday was not the greatest idea- it was really annoying. That Saturday night, I planned my outfit to serve one purpose: to endure long hours in the hot sun of 36 degrees. But the problem was that it had to be relatively 'conservative' for church but light enough to wear outside later on (yet of course, since it was technically with Christians, you still have to wear something that covers one's body up. Because heavens! To even see a thigh- now that is very unchristian.) Anyway, I never really thought it would be that gusty. Oh the perilousness. I should have worn shorts- shorts that go to the shins to cover what skin there is. What was meant to be conservative ended up as an annoyance.
I was speaking to my cousin Grace who I had just given my dress to borrow for church. We were sitting in J Grill and she asked me if the dress had cap sleeves and I thought it did but asked her why it mattered anyway- it had straps! She then asked what the dress code was for RHCBC and if we had a 'no tanktops' policy. I was quite perplexed to begin with because I do not study what the people of the congregation wear in that perspective- I've just been told by my mom after once wearing shorts to church to never wear them again out of respect (now I say, to whom? To the congregation or to God?). Well I told her that I thought RHCBC really doesn't have a 'no tanktop' policy but then again our AC is so cold, I always bring a shrug or a sweater just in case I feel the draft during the sermon. Grace told me that once a girl wore a tank top to church- something sleeveless, and during the service she sneezed and not because she was cold. Well the lady who was speaking stopped what she was saying and in front of everyone, asked the girl if she was cold who in turn answered that she wasn't. Well the lady insisted that she wear someone else's jacket so she had to. When Grace got home after dinner at the Jap restaurant, she tried on the dress and her mom said the neckline was way too low for church. I suggested that she find a really thin tank top in some muted colour to wear underneath to cover what unforbidden area there was to see.
I understand that guys are more visual in that sense but women are no longer celebrating the way they were designed. I mean, what church tells their congregation there is a 'no tanktop policy'? It's an unspoken rule yes, because heaven forbid you show a little shoulder and clavicle. The silly thing is is that the summer is getting hotter thanks to global warming (it has never been this hot in Toronto at this time of the year) and yet are we still expected to cover up? Since I was little when shopping with my mom, she'd make me do a series of 'tests' (ex bending over) to ensure that my clothes stayed perfectly in position without drooping lest I revealed something. I once received a tube top (a shirt without sleeves or straps) as a gift but my mom started questioning whether it was safe to wear it or not and I never did. I remember that one Easter service I was on worship team as the violinist I was afraid that a knee length skirt and wedges would be too revealing despite my mom's constant assurance that it wasn't. And then she told me to not wear shorts in church. So can I wear them outside of church? But then is that in some way, leading a double standard?
The other day I saw Allison and her sister at FMP while I was at the bubble tea stand and I couldn't help but notice that they were wearing tank tops with denim skirts- mid thigh and little part of me wished that I had that kind of confidence- or more like the ability to do so without feeling like I made someone commit a sin. I've considered wearing stockings underneath my shorts and mini skirts but that's kind of ridiculous in 36 degree temperatures. On Sunday I saw Karen wearing a mint green tube top and thought "wow, is that allowed?" Not in a judging manner but surprised.
I am not rebellious against dress codes and being modest, I am just questioning where that fine line is. I am certainly not interested in leading guys on in that sense but I would like to air out my pores when it get hot and humid. I would also like to dress to please myself- I don't want to hide all the time.
So for the past month my mom has been always asking why I wear so much clothing. Today despite the 30 degree temp, I had two halter tops on and a long sleeve. Another day I had my thick black bolera on and my mom made me change into something lighter. In HK to solve this problem of 'immodesty', I wore a collared shirt on top of every scandalous thing to make it 'unscandalous'- and I wore them so much that one became permanently soiled with sweat at the back of the neck and one ripped in the sleeve.
As for bottoms, because I am a 5'8" asian, anything that cuts above my knee make my legs appear miles long. I know it sounds silly but it's true. If you're a magazine junkie like I am, one suggestion for short women is to wear miniskirts to make them appear taller whereas if I did, I'd be afraid of being called 'slutty'.
I've realized from understanding myself and seeing others, that Christian women all over have been taught by the church to fear their bodies. Because if you dare to wear something 'revealing' you either 1) get raped or molested by some dirty guy but it's ALL YOUR FAULT because you just called for it- you and your skirt. 2) allow a guy to have dirty thoughts about you but still, it's ALL YOUR FAULT because his thoughts are yours to control.
Tsk tsk women. Know that your beauty can wield great negative power in the minds of men. So fear the skin you're in. Cover it all up because YOU ARE the STUMBLING BLOCK for our Christian brothers over here. Remember? "The woman made me do it. She made me eat from the tree." I think we've taken this blame game way too far and point our fingers way too long at Eve to even remember there was an Adam or a serpent. Of course this is all about intentions- the reasons for why a girl dresses the way she does either to lure guys or to please herself or to unburden herself of the hot temperatures- but that's hard to tell most of the times because we see the shell before the thought.
So now I'm very self conscious of the things I wear- come to think of it- define 'skimpy clothing' because the lines are blurred for me. It's not a thing about personal discernment because if it was, we wouldn't have church members implying to teens to tone down their way of dress. It is no wonder that women fear themselves.
On the other hand I purchased a great pair of denim bermuda shorts for $25 at the Winners on Bloor today.
Oh and I saw a picture of Michelle Wie, the now highest paid female athlete (though tania thinks golf isn't a sport. :P). She's quite pretty.
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