Waiting.

Looks somewhat familiar eh. Swapped the long gown and brown wig for cliche art critic hair and Edna Mode attire.

-I'm leaving to HK today/tomorrow. It's funny that I actually am missing people already although I am so far away from them 98% of the time. How can you miss people you hardly see? Just the idea that we'll be an ocean apart scares me. I wonder if it'll always be like this.
-Although I'll be staying with family in HK, I don't feel that same sense of family like I do with my family here. I guess it's the language barrier. I pray that God brings me close to my grandmother and help me love my aunts although it can be unbearable at times.
-I'm a little scared for my self esteem while I'm in HK. I don't usually worry about my weight because my love for food is stronger but I can't imagine being surrounded 24/7 with skinny, short Chinese girls and not feeling like crap. I know I can't buy shoes or garments for the lower half of my body because they don't come in my size. My roommate doesn't even consider me Asian anymore in terms of physique. Please, please I don't want to get caught up in trying to be like someone who I'm not.
-Baby, don't cry again; how familiar this scene is. Hold your hands tight; you and I don't wish to part. Everytime when I want to say something; it is just better to stay silent.-Kiss Goodbye, Wang Lee Hom
-I met up with a friend from NYC who went to my high school back in toronto at Destiny today. She personally knows Henry Lau from the Korean boy band, Super Junior and now she regrets not going out with him. LOL. Best laugh of the day. I am convinced that many of these manufactured stars are not really good looking, they've just been styled to look a certain way and look good as a team but not as an individual.
-I've realized that as much as I want to start a relationship, I've noticed that I never like it when I actually get it. Having encountered certain relationships the past semester, I've realized that when things come too easy, I become disinterested quickly. No pain, no gain. They say the guy likes the chase/hunt for the girl however I've kinda noticed that I like the fact that I can never reach what I want to obtain. I guess this comes from a part of my artist mentality where perfection is never realized. You can come close to it, but never taste it. I can't explain it. I like initiative; it's attractive but at very key moments which I find many guys often miss. Key moments such as just making the first move in introductions to follow up. Then all the stuff inbetween depends on how much pressure the guy puts on the girl. My NYC/Toronto friend once told me she loved the chase where if the guy came too easy, she'd mark him off right away. At the time I didn't think myself of that type of person until an incident came up that made me realize perhaps that our sadistic natures actually are attracted to some level of pain in order to make the objective seem more appealing once it is fulfilled. Then again, it's a delicate balance between the two.
-I once wrote that if a guy were to propose to me, the bells and whistles prior to the actual proposing would have to be extremely creative to the point where I could not have thought of it something like that. I was talking to the UN Crew about this and we concluded that all the theatrics was necessary before saying 'yes'. Generally I'm a pretty thoughtful person when it comes to giving things to people be it planning events or giving gifts. So I want to be impressed. Basically I want him to be able to top me when it comes to creativity, artistry and details. I am extremely detail-oriented visually. It's no different from a writer with his grammar.
Yeah good luck with me finding someone like that. But the UN Crew agrees: no ring in a flute of champagne please. That'll just reflect poorly on his lack of creativity. Fear of possible rejection means going beyond the standard and doing something sublime.
-Tennis in the rain. It was good to get that out of my system. I am itching to play on a dry court with a mix of sun and cloud. If only.
-Tanya, Alex, Angie, Robyn, Dor, Pui, Jon, Tammy along with old school friends. I'm still afraid of going back despite some hints of familiarity. I'm already tired of the exoticism that so many people find attractive in traveling. I just want to burrow my head in a comfortable place I can call 'home'.

So here goes nothing. Back to a place I called home nine years ago. That's almost a decade. On one hand the memories seem so distant but on the other, it feels like not too long ago.