Randomness Revisited
Opposites Attract
I find that depending on who I am with, I naturally try to become the opposite of what/who they are. For example, here at Parsons, since people are so obsessed with their looks, I just feel the need to let go a bit in order to find some balance between all this mad frenzy for outer beauty.
Then if I am with any sciency people who like to discuss deep theories and whatnot, I naturally act more 'shallow' (perhaps to piss them off a bit) and care about outer appearances more.
Same with extroverts and introverts. With my UN crew, I tend to be quieter because Julia and Soph make enough noise that I don't feel the need to open my mouth. Whereas with the Raps crew or AY one, I like to talk a lot.
Overall, I think I'm more attracted to people who totally opposite of me.
In the Quest for Beauty
One of the things I dislike about Parsons is that everyone is so into their appearances, it's disgusting. For one, it makes me feel extremely insecure. Allie was just talking about how when she came to New York, she has seen the most beautiful 19 year old girls (in a non-lesbian way) and that there is not one single ugly person at Parsons. She also mentioned that if a girl has a beautiful face but an 'ugly' figure, she'd still think the person beautiful. If there was a really skinny girl with an ugly face, she'd think her ugly. In the end, she concluded it's all about the face. That really depressed me.
So naturally, I feel as if I need to 'do' something to keep up, thus my answer: through consumerism. So far I've been pretty good: I've only been splurging on wood and 3d materials and dvds and nothing on clothes. To me, you cannot change the physical attributes of the face- makeup can only go so far, yet I feel as if clothes can make up for the face. Sad.
Good Friday
Today I attended the Good Friday service at Brooklyn Tabernacle. It was really good-well the talking inbetween put me to sleep and Robyn nudged me to wake me up. Though the play of the death of Jesus was relatively simple (but with 40 actors all in costume) struck a cord in me. Out of nowhere, tears started to well up in my eyes. You know how you are suddenly struck by some kind of profundity- for the briefest moment, everything just falls in place and makes sense but vanishes as quickly as it came? Well that's what happened to me. I will never begin to comprehend why Christ came down in the form of something He had created and allowed Himself to die for something that despised Him. Why would He even care for them? If I was God, I'd smite them or do something really evil to make sure they know who's in control.
It's hard to write down something you can feel but can't explain. I wish I could write it so perfectly that you could feel how I felt at the church, but I sadly cannot.
Apartment
I can say, this process has been a miracle. Everything that happened, has been a miracle. When I first saw this listing, I prayed to God that if this was the one, that it would go smoothly and that I'd be able to find two guarantors that would amount to $172000. Though there were some bumps here and there, we got the apartment though there were many people looking at it.
Blah.. this post has been pretty empty, I know. Just scrolling over it leaves me quite unsatisfied with myself. My thoughts seem just really bland and I'm just really tired.. getting sick.
I SKIPPED CLASS TODAY! Hehehe. I slept in and went to the broker's office and met with my other guarantor who got her paper notorized.. we then went out to eat at this nice sushi place and had a nice talk. My aunt is insane. She watches three movies in a row on Saturday nights.. she has watched every musical you can ever imagine: five times at least. She travels like crazy.. she has already been to Las Vegas five times this year... going to toronto next week and then Japan and then a two week Scandinavia/Russia cruise and then Beijing. She travels every other week. Something about her life, fascinates me. Perhaps it is because I am so grounded (relatively) in New York that her life seems like a whirl of travel and entertainment.
I find that depending on who I am with, I naturally try to become the opposite of what/who they are. For example, here at Parsons, since people are so obsessed with their looks, I just feel the need to let go a bit in order to find some balance between all this mad frenzy for outer beauty.
Then if I am with any sciency people who like to discuss deep theories and whatnot, I naturally act more 'shallow' (perhaps to piss them off a bit) and care about outer appearances more.
Same with extroverts and introverts. With my UN crew, I tend to be quieter because Julia and Soph make enough noise that I don't feel the need to open my mouth. Whereas with the Raps crew or AY one, I like to talk a lot.
Overall, I think I'm more attracted to people who totally opposite of me.
In the Quest for Beauty
One of the things I dislike about Parsons is that everyone is so into their appearances, it's disgusting. For one, it makes me feel extremely insecure. Allie was just talking about how when she came to New York, she has seen the most beautiful 19 year old girls (in a non-lesbian way) and that there is not one single ugly person at Parsons. She also mentioned that if a girl has a beautiful face but an 'ugly' figure, she'd still think the person beautiful. If there was a really skinny girl with an ugly face, she'd think her ugly. In the end, she concluded it's all about the face. That really depressed me.
So naturally, I feel as if I need to 'do' something to keep up, thus my answer: through consumerism. So far I've been pretty good: I've only been splurging on wood and 3d materials and dvds and nothing on clothes. To me, you cannot change the physical attributes of the face- makeup can only go so far, yet I feel as if clothes can make up for the face. Sad.
Good Friday
Today I attended the Good Friday service at Brooklyn Tabernacle. It was really good-well the talking inbetween put me to sleep and Robyn nudged me to wake me up. Though the play of the death of Jesus was relatively simple (but with 40 actors all in costume) struck a cord in me. Out of nowhere, tears started to well up in my eyes. You know how you are suddenly struck by some kind of profundity- for the briefest moment, everything just falls in place and makes sense but vanishes as quickly as it came? Well that's what happened to me. I will never begin to comprehend why Christ came down in the form of something He had created and allowed Himself to die for something that despised Him. Why would He even care for them? If I was God, I'd smite them or do something really evil to make sure they know who's in control.
It's hard to write down something you can feel but can't explain. I wish I could write it so perfectly that you could feel how I felt at the church, but I sadly cannot.
Apartment
I can say, this process has been a miracle. Everything that happened, has been a miracle. When I first saw this listing, I prayed to God that if this was the one, that it would go smoothly and that I'd be able to find two guarantors that would amount to $172000. Though there were some bumps here and there, we got the apartment though there were many people looking at it.
Blah.. this post has been pretty empty, I know. Just scrolling over it leaves me quite unsatisfied with myself. My thoughts seem just really bland and I'm just really tired.. getting sick.
I SKIPPED CLASS TODAY! Hehehe. I slept in and went to the broker's office and met with my other guarantor who got her paper notorized.. we then went out to eat at this nice sushi place and had a nice talk. My aunt is insane. She watches three movies in a row on Saturday nights.. she has watched every musical you can ever imagine: five times at least. She travels like crazy.. she has already been to Las Vegas five times this year... going to toronto next week and then Japan and then a two week Scandinavia/Russia cruise and then Beijing. She travels every other week. Something about her life, fascinates me. Perhaps it is because I am so grounded (relatively) in New York that her life seems like a whirl of travel and entertainment.
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