For the Love of Food// Concerning the Matters of the Heart: Asian Beauty
The past few days I have been inhaling whatever food my mom places in front of me. My skin is paying the price of eating to much mango (well that's what I think it is). Yesterday I shared a mango crepe with Robyn, sucked on three mango pits that my mom saved for me and one mango pudding she made just for me (we have a whole line of them waiting for me to consume still). This morning I woke up with hives and my skin was irritated and it was so embarrassing. I need my Reactin again.Food plays such a huge aspect within the Chinese culture.. To the non-Asian eye, we appear to eat anything that doesn't kill: abalone, shark fin, birds nest, sea cucumber, squid, chicken feet- many of the things Westerners turn their heads away, us Chinese hold as a delicacy. Have you noticed while many Western malls have very few people, Chinese plazas are always full of cars and people? Just take a look at how people used to greet each other- they ask 'have you eaten yet?'. Our restaurants overflow with people- the cheapest and most satisfying meals can be found in Chinatown or the Markham area. 'Guai lo'/ Caucasian office workers line up at 'Zhong's BBQ' shop in First Markham place to get a succulent meal of two meats of their choice and a mound of steaming white rice for a mere $6. From festivals where men raced up mountains of buns (yeah I learned that in the Hong Kong History Museum!) to the sharing of moon cakes, the Chinese have long celebrated both food and the process of consumption dearly. Perhaps this is from the lack of food in the past- in our history- that we have held food with such reverence.Yet in the wake of this mass consumption, is China destroying itself by feeding its people? With unsustainable practices of collecting food such as that black grass stuff called 'fat choi' (which personally reminds me of black hair), the natural riches of China will soon run dry. This particular grass which is found in northern China holds in much of the moisture in the soil yet with the Chinese eating it for the sake of the 'luckiness' found within the name, the land is quickly becoming a barren desert. Why they don't harvest it, I don't have the answer to. See I'm trying to write in an essay format! :P
Concerning the Matters of the Heart: Asian Beauty
My friend Vanessa(who is Filipino and white) once wrote a personal essay in grade 12 that I had to edit, that dealt with the absense of belonging within one race. She compared and contrast her loud, boisterous Filipino family with the quiet, reserved side of her father's family who are Caucasian. Yet more and more, I can see how Asian Americans can identify with this sense of a loss of a cultural identity. I think, all my life from living in Toronto to Hong Kong, I've never really been seen as Asian in a Chinese person's eyes yet not 'white' in a Caucasian's point of view. There is always this shift in between the two-never fully embracing one or the other.
And today was a reminder of such differences. I was at FMP with my mother because I was tired of the typical American clothing and I thought a bit of 'fobby' clothing would do me some good. We were walking around when I spotted this lookalike Anthropologie/Anna Sui dress (chiffon yellow green tone with ruching on bust, feather and dot pattern spiraling upwards from hem with a green sash.. underlayer a darker green if you must know. :P A mere $69 plus 30% off.) so I decided to go into the store to look at it (Chinese salespeople intimidate me). My mom and I concluded that it wouldn't fit me but the woman insisted I would so I tried it on anyhow. And standing in front of the mirror (which is outside of the dressing room which i hate.. who wants people to see what they look like before they get to see themself???) it just reminded me of my grade 8 graduation and my search for a dress that just fit (Caucasian dresses have too large of a bust area and Chinese dresses are too short or small on me). Because the Chinese dress is designed for your typical cute waif 5'5" Chinese girl with no breasts- the garment hit me in all the wrong places at the top. I was quite disappointed- so was my mom. I always feel fat in Asian stores. What a downer.
Yesterday I was reading my old 'Asian Beauty' book that I had purchased in gr 10... I remember buying this book- it was a hefty $70 for a hardcover and a ton of illustrations. This book was chockful of beautiful images and makeup advice and whatnot for Asian and biracial women. However I read this book many times not because I wanted to follow the makeup tips to enhance Asian aesthetics but because it served as a self esteem booster. A rare item that would help me appreciate my own physical attributes contrary to what they say in Harpers or Elle. (You must understand that it is so very important to me when I see an Asian model within the fashion world- I sometimes just cut out a picture of them because they're Asian). I never did once do anything that this hardcover book advised me to do- I read it to make myself believe that I was beautiful without the blonde hair, blue eyes and delicate nose. This book seemed to tell me what I wanted to hear- that Asians were also included in this definition of beauty. I brought this book back with me to Hong Kong during the summer of 2002 where I spent many hours just poring over the pages of makeup tips (as you can tell, I don't follow any of them).. I carefully copied two of the models in my sketchbook, fully fleshed out in colour pencil (you can see them on my deviantart gallery) and have cherished this glossy book for many years. Sometimes, I just pull it out off my shelf and flip through the pages and read bits and pieces everywhere, close it, and put it away for another day.
Sadly, the most tragic of ironies within this book, are the models. Half of them are biracial (they were born gorgeous.. why do we even need to feature them in an Asian book. some of the barely look asian) and those that were Chinese, had blonde/western wigs, and coloured contacts. She speaks about being comfortable with our own ethnicity yet models her women from Westerners.
You can say it's pathetic, but this is how I find my reaffirmation from a Japanese celebrity make up artist who has worked with stars like Mel Gibson and Audrey Hepburn. I remember reading this article on a woman who on an impulse, purchased a $4000 Vera Wang and never wore it out.. she wore it around her house whenever she felt sad or disappointed... and it was worn many times. To everyone else, this was lunacy, to her it was therapy. And for me, this book does the same.
Concerning the Matters of the Heart: Asian Beauty
My friend Vanessa(who is Filipino and white) once wrote a personal essay in grade 12 that I had to edit, that dealt with the absense of belonging within one race. She compared and contrast her loud, boisterous Filipino family with the quiet, reserved side of her father's family who are Caucasian. Yet more and more, I can see how Asian Americans can identify with this sense of a loss of a cultural identity. I think, all my life from living in Toronto to Hong Kong, I've never really been seen as Asian in a Chinese person's eyes yet not 'white' in a Caucasian's point of view. There is always this shift in between the two-never fully embracing one or the other.
And today was a reminder of such differences. I was at FMP with my mother because I was tired of the typical American clothing and I thought a bit of 'fobby' clothing would do me some good. We were walking around when I spotted this lookalike Anthropologie/Anna Sui dress (chiffon yellow green tone with ruching on bust, feather and dot pattern spiraling upwards from hem with a green sash.. underlayer a darker green if you must know. :P A mere $69 plus 30% off.) so I decided to go into the store to look at it (Chinese salespeople intimidate me). My mom and I concluded that it wouldn't fit me but the woman insisted I would so I tried it on anyhow. And standing in front of the mirror (which is outside of the dressing room which i hate.. who wants people to see what they look like before they get to see themself???) it just reminded me of my grade 8 graduation and my search for a dress that just fit (Caucasian dresses have too large of a bust area and Chinese dresses are too short or small on me). Because the Chinese dress is designed for your typical cute waif 5'5" Chinese girl with no breasts- the garment hit me in all the wrong places at the top. I was quite disappointed- so was my mom. I always feel fat in Asian stores. What a downer.
Yesterday I was reading my old 'Asian Beauty' book that I had purchased in gr 10... I remember buying this book- it was a hefty $70 for a hardcover and a ton of illustrations. This book was chockful of beautiful images and makeup advice and whatnot for Asian and biracial women. However I read this book many times not because I wanted to follow the makeup tips to enhance Asian aesthetics but because it served as a self esteem booster. A rare item that would help me appreciate my own physical attributes contrary to what they say in Harpers or Elle. (You must understand that it is so very important to me when I see an Asian model within the fashion world- I sometimes just cut out a picture of them because they're Asian). I never did once do anything that this hardcover book advised me to do- I read it to make myself believe that I was beautiful without the blonde hair, blue eyes and delicate nose. This book seemed to tell me what I wanted to hear- that Asians were also included in this definition of beauty. I brought this book back with me to Hong Kong during the summer of 2002 where I spent many hours just poring over the pages of makeup tips (as you can tell, I don't follow any of them).. I carefully copied two of the models in my sketchbook, fully fleshed out in colour pencil (you can see them on my deviantart gallery) and have cherished this glossy book for many years. Sometimes, I just pull it out off my shelf and flip through the pages and read bits and pieces everywhere, close it, and put it away for another day.
Sadly, the most tragic of ironies within this book, are the models. Half of them are biracial (they were born gorgeous.. why do we even need to feature them in an Asian book. some of the barely look asian) and those that were Chinese, had blonde/western wigs, and coloured contacts. She speaks about being comfortable with our own ethnicity yet models her women from Westerners.
You can say it's pathetic, but this is how I find my reaffirmation from a Japanese celebrity make up artist who has worked with stars like Mel Gibson and Audrey Hepburn. I remember reading this article on a woman who on an impulse, purchased a $4000 Vera Wang and never wore it out.. she wore it around her house whenever she felt sad or disappointed... and it was worn many times. To everyone else, this was lunacy, to her it was therapy. And for me, this book does the same.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home