The Feminine Side
The Little Things I Relish in Life
-Moonlight
-A sunset across the vast Canadian sky (deprived for so long living in skyscrapered cities like HK and NY. That goes for the above too)
-A good song on the radio
-The sound of gravel underneath my feet
-The coolness of the sand between my toes (providing it's a nice beach)
-The sound and feel of a good top spin in tennis
-A clear blue sky (they're so rare now)
-The tingly sensation on your skin from the cold sheets before going to sleep
-Waking up to a sun-kissed room
-Shoveling snow (hahaha I enjoy that)
-Taking walks by myself
-A good & meaningful conversation
-The sound of water
-A good joke
-Snow flurries
-An honest, expressive email
-A compliment
-A hug
So I've read half of the book I bought called 'Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul' and it reminded me of my days as a little girl twirling around our living room in my mom's apron singing to some song I made up. It reminded me of the times I'd go to Jenny's house and we'd play dress up in her play room. You know that's how I stopped drooling? My mom told me I drooled longer than most kids. I finally kicked the habit when we had to attend a wedding and she had bought me this pretty dress and told me that I couldn't wear a bib because it'd look ridiculous, so I just had to keep it in me. And that's how I stopped. Hahaha. I think it's pretty funny. I remember playing 'restaurant' with my then little brother and our parents were our customers. I played that well until I was 13. We had a vast array of plastic foods. Want a slice of pizza? We had it. TV dinner? Yup, in its own carton and tray. Whatever meal you could think of, we had, served in all its faded plastic splendour.
Of course then we had a large collection of plastic Hot Wheels and town mat to play on. I had purchased my own antique ice cream truck toy to counteract all his sports cars and monster trucks. I also had a hot dog vendor truck with a little man inside waiting to serve his next hungry customer (blame it on my cousin for getting me into food).
Then there were my days where I'd just bring out any toy I had from little plastic doll figurines to a snow globe (which I caused to roll off my bed and smash into a million glass pieces and alarmed my parents) to cake statuettes-basically anything I could find, and made up some story with all of them. We'd take chess pieces and make up little battles and whatnot.
I remember going to Silver Stream Farms, which is now closed because of stupid housing projects, where my cousins and I would go to pick strawberries. We'd then gather back at my house and have whipped cream with them. Those were the days.
My cousins and I used to have sleepovers and that's when they introduced me to Fimo. I got pretty good at it and I can make some darn good miniature roses the size of a pea. We used to go to Toys R Us and my aunt would let me pick something to buy. Once I wanted this Barbie popsicle stand where you can make these popsicles if you stick water inside it and put the stick through after it froze. She said it was too expensive and I sulked. I still remember that. She ended up buying it for me. I felt bad after. Haha.
But one of the things I remember the most were my times with a sheet of paper and a pencil/pen. I used to draw on anything. I used church announcement paper to draw my Sleeping Beautys celebrating their 16th birthday (prior to her prick of the finger) in her castle with cake and presents. That was inspired by Tchaikovsky (we listened to all these tapes with a composer and children... beethoven.. mozart) to restaurant paper placemats in Hong Kong in which my mom told me that I drew my best drawings on at that time.
When I was little, I used to love the sound of high heels clicking on the surface of the floor. I still like it.
So there were many ways in which I was able to relate with the authors of the book. I had my 'horse' stage to my 'twirling skirts' stage (hm come to think of it, I don't think I ever got out of that stage. hahaha).
And I guess it's come down through the years to this stage in which we all come to believe like the typical Bridget Jones 'I don't need anyone, I can be an independent, confident woman. I don't need a man to complete me'. But it never lasts does it.
I've always known, that before anything else, you must be after God's heart. Then he will set your paths straight. However I find it hard to follow through with that. To know him, you must study his word, have a time set apart just for him. But sometimes in order to do that, we need that passion, that desire to do so. And I sadly, sometimes do not. I find that I draw closer to him when I'm in times of trouble- when I feel empty. She wrote that when Adam and Eve fell, God cursed her with loneliness. When I first read that, I was thinking "That sucks like nothing else" but the good thing that comes from that is that in that pit of darkness, we hunger to find God. He did it in order to corner us, so that we'd give him a chance to lavish his love upon us. A curse turned blessing. I can't explain things. The book does it a lot better.
It's a good book that explains why we hurt and feel lonely due to childhood problems that were established by our parents from verbal/sexual abuse to not feeling wanted, to alcoholism to favouritism and how we've become such cold women who trust no one and believe vulnerability is a negative characteristic.
The funny (and ironic) thing is that Andrew recommended it to me. Haha.
I was walking around One's today at Market Village looking at Japanese pottery (I like the colours and designs) and I remembered one conversation I had with Tania. I had been wondering why being 'girly' is perceived as such a horrendous thing. Why is pink associated with females and breast cancer (and pepto bismol). To be girly- to love having our hair braided and whatnot, to wanting pretty clothes to having 'girl talks' to whatever a 'girly' act is... why is it almost a taboo? I don't understand. Perhaps it is because we now want to see that confident, independent teenager who can attain perfect grades, look at least decently 'pretty', have a good social life, as well as a good family relationships too. She has to be independent and confident- like a man. But, I thought, we already have so many men already. We don't need women to pretend/act like men. Of course some may argue that we need women up there who can do just as well as men in terms of careers and whatever. But then I don't see anything wrong with being 'girly' either. Sorry I have no point to this. I'm getting confused in my own thoughts.
But I found this to be so true. We think we're not thin enough, not pretty enough, not outgoing enough but TOO emotional, too much of a worry wart too vulnerable etc. But I guess women exude a different side of God's character: his relational, deep, complex part of his soul that wants to be wooed, pursued and loved. Just like any woman.
-Moonlight
-A sunset across the vast Canadian sky (deprived for so long living in skyscrapered cities like HK and NY. That goes for the above too)
-A good song on the radio
-The sound of gravel underneath my feet
-The coolness of the sand between my toes (providing it's a nice beach)
-The sound and feel of a good top spin in tennis
-A clear blue sky (they're so rare now)
-The tingly sensation on your skin from the cold sheets before going to sleep
-Waking up to a sun-kissed room
-Shoveling snow (hahaha I enjoy that)
-Taking walks by myself
-A good & meaningful conversation
-The sound of water
-A good joke
-Snow flurries
-An honest, expressive email
-A compliment
-A hug
So I've read half of the book I bought called 'Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul' and it reminded me of my days as a little girl twirling around our living room in my mom's apron singing to some song I made up. It reminded me of the times I'd go to Jenny's house and we'd play dress up in her play room. You know that's how I stopped drooling? My mom told me I drooled longer than most kids. I finally kicked the habit when we had to attend a wedding and she had bought me this pretty dress and told me that I couldn't wear a bib because it'd look ridiculous, so I just had to keep it in me. And that's how I stopped. Hahaha. I think it's pretty funny. I remember playing 'restaurant' with my then little brother and our parents were our customers. I played that well until I was 13. We had a vast array of plastic foods. Want a slice of pizza? We had it. TV dinner? Yup, in its own carton and tray. Whatever meal you could think of, we had, served in all its faded plastic splendour.
Of course then we had a large collection of plastic Hot Wheels and town mat to play on. I had purchased my own antique ice cream truck toy to counteract all his sports cars and monster trucks. I also had a hot dog vendor truck with a little man inside waiting to serve his next hungry customer (blame it on my cousin for getting me into food).
Then there were my days where I'd just bring out any toy I had from little plastic doll figurines to a snow globe (which I caused to roll off my bed and smash into a million glass pieces and alarmed my parents) to cake statuettes-basically anything I could find, and made up some story with all of them. We'd take chess pieces and make up little battles and whatnot.
I remember going to Silver Stream Farms, which is now closed because of stupid housing projects, where my cousins and I would go to pick strawberries. We'd then gather back at my house and have whipped cream with them. Those were the days.
My cousins and I used to have sleepovers and that's when they introduced me to Fimo. I got pretty good at it and I can make some darn good miniature roses the size of a pea. We used to go to Toys R Us and my aunt would let me pick something to buy. Once I wanted this Barbie popsicle stand where you can make these popsicles if you stick water inside it and put the stick through after it froze. She said it was too expensive and I sulked. I still remember that. She ended up buying it for me. I felt bad after. Haha.
But one of the things I remember the most were my times with a sheet of paper and a pencil/pen. I used to draw on anything. I used church announcement paper to draw my Sleeping Beautys celebrating their 16th birthday (prior to her prick of the finger) in her castle with cake and presents. That was inspired by Tchaikovsky (we listened to all these tapes with a composer and children... beethoven.. mozart) to restaurant paper placemats in Hong Kong in which my mom told me that I drew my best drawings on at that time.
When I was little, I used to love the sound of high heels clicking on the surface of the floor. I still like it.
So there were many ways in which I was able to relate with the authors of the book. I had my 'horse' stage to my 'twirling skirts' stage (hm come to think of it, I don't think I ever got out of that stage. hahaha).
And I guess it's come down through the years to this stage in which we all come to believe like the typical Bridget Jones 'I don't need anyone, I can be an independent, confident woman. I don't need a man to complete me'. But it never lasts does it.
I've always known, that before anything else, you must be after God's heart. Then he will set your paths straight. However I find it hard to follow through with that. To know him, you must study his word, have a time set apart just for him. But sometimes in order to do that, we need that passion, that desire to do so. And I sadly, sometimes do not. I find that I draw closer to him when I'm in times of trouble- when I feel empty. She wrote that when Adam and Eve fell, God cursed her with loneliness. When I first read that, I was thinking "That sucks like nothing else" but the good thing that comes from that is that in that pit of darkness, we hunger to find God. He did it in order to corner us, so that we'd give him a chance to lavish his love upon us. A curse turned blessing. I can't explain things. The book does it a lot better.
It's a good book that explains why we hurt and feel lonely due to childhood problems that were established by our parents from verbal/sexual abuse to not feeling wanted, to alcoholism to favouritism and how we've become such cold women who trust no one and believe vulnerability is a negative characteristic.
The funny (and ironic) thing is that Andrew recommended it to me. Haha.
I was walking around One's today at Market Village looking at Japanese pottery (I like the colours and designs) and I remembered one conversation I had with Tania. I had been wondering why being 'girly' is perceived as such a horrendous thing. Why is pink associated with females and breast cancer (and pepto bismol). To be girly- to love having our hair braided and whatnot, to wanting pretty clothes to having 'girl talks' to whatever a 'girly' act is... why is it almost a taboo? I don't understand. Perhaps it is because we now want to see that confident, independent teenager who can attain perfect grades, look at least decently 'pretty', have a good social life, as well as a good family relationships too. She has to be independent and confident- like a man. But, I thought, we already have so many men already. We don't need women to pretend/act like men. Of course some may argue that we need women up there who can do just as well as men in terms of careers and whatever. But then I don't see anything wrong with being 'girly' either. Sorry I have no point to this. I'm getting confused in my own thoughts.
But I found this to be so true. We think we're not thin enough, not pretty enough, not outgoing enough but TOO emotional, too much of a worry wart too vulnerable etc. But I guess women exude a different side of God's character: his relational, deep, complex part of his soul that wants to be wooed, pursued and loved. Just like any woman.
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