Beverly Hills, Beauty and Burdens
Listening to: Shinee> Replay MV
A new Korean boyband created by SM... stumbled upon the piano version of this song that I really love and now I really like their dance that goes with it. The song is quite typical.. but catchy. It talks about a younger guy and his 'noona' (title for an older girl) and his 'love' for her. Not like you'd understand it but here you go.
Watch the full version of the dance: here. It's really impressive- very smooth. If I could do that I'd be a happy camper.
I'll find the piano version of it for next entry. It sounds a little sadder but it's a good anime-ish song to listen to.
Getty Museum. Unfortunately people got in the pic. My third time here
Welcome to California. Doesn't this picture look so familiar? lol. I took it at the Huntington Library where they also filmed Memoirs of a Geisha (the cherry blossom viewing party where they had to stick fake rose petals on a tree because they wouldn't allow the crew to fly in a real tree. lol. Yes I watch my movies with commentary
Guess whose back.. back again...
ME
After six days in LA with my roomie, I'm once again back in the dismal jungle of concrete that is New York. Then again going to LA made me appreciate New York more- I've ruled out LA as a place I'd live.. too much driving and things are so spread apart.
So what did Sam do in LA?
The question ought to be.. do YOU really want to know. lol
Day 1= arrived in LA. There was a delay on Jet blue but as awesome as they are, they gave us a $25 voucher. We just perched ourselves on the bar and drank orange juice out of wine glasses and shared a panini. Bumped into fellow Parsons kid there too. When we arrived, we went for a drive to the gas station and the bakery because my roomie wanted to get me a mini fondant cake. Turns out they didn't sell them in individual sizes so we ordered a honking large made-to-order one just to see what fondant tastes like (fondant is the dough like stuff they put on wedding cakes). Roomie's mom made me galbitang for dinner.... yumyumyum At night we went on a drive to downtown where we went to a lounge called 'Standard'. It's a rooftop bar overlooking downtown... but the BEST part of it were the three circular waterbeds housed in red cocoon-esque structures. My roomie and I just sat inside bouncing around and realized how retarded we looked because we werent there to drink or socialize but to play on their waterbeds. :S There were some weird guys who asked if they could join in which resulted in me freezing up and looking at my roommate to tell them to go away. One guy started talking about a previous experience with a leaking waterbed and I had no idea what he was saying because I was too busy trying to figure out how to get out because his entire body was blocking the entrance. :S Yeah we left when the party started (aka when there were a ton of people) because we're old women who need our sleep after an additional three hours on our sched with the time difference. Plus we needed our energy for Day 2 because....
Day 2= Disney. LOL. Yes, my first full day in LA and we go to Disney. We got the tickets via a person on Craigslist. I felt like we were dealing drugs cuz we had to find a silver lexus at the back of a restaurant and the cash was placed in an envelope and he would give us the ticket in exchange. Sketch. Anyway, we were surprised to see TONS of people at Disney on a Thursday.. turns out Disney was really clever in handling the recession: they had a birthday special where every person who registered their birthday date online could go to the park in for free on the day of. Of course that means kids had parents and friends in tow.. so you could imagine how much money they made. The lines were ridiculous. Even waiting to get a parking ticket was ridiculous so we rolled down the windows and blasted our music (yeah we were acting like high school kids). Yo Lady Gaga's 'Just Dance' sounds SO GOOD on speakers with a good bass! The contrast which is lost on a mere laptop and earphones flattens the music out. If you use carspeakers, the depth of the bass contrasts so well with the higher notes, giving the song a lot more translucency and fullness. DANG. I want car speakers now!
'Just Dance' was the theme song of my trip in Cali. The song is so addicting.
We rode on the majority of the big rides and saw Fantasmic and the fireworks but alas, Indiana Jones ride was closed so I didn't get to go on it :( Space Mountain was closed for maintenance most of the day so by the time the fireworks were done, there was a huge lineup for all the lost time. However to compensate for the surge of guests, they had to speed up the ride which really killed my stomach since my body was slamming against the bar and my roomie's neck was hurting from all the jolting. I've never been on such a spazztic Space Mountain ride before. Oh and the Aladdin musical was really cool.
Day 3= Roomie and I met up with my cousin who is working in LA at a restaurant called Milk (ironically she's lactose intolerant.. lol) and had lunch together. Afterwards drove to her house where we carpooled to the Getty Museum (stunning modern art gallery with equally beautiful architecture). Wandered around the gardens and then sat down for coffee. Afterwards we hung out at my cousin's place for a bit and then Bon drove me around Beverly Hills to see the stunning houses and Rodeo Drive (so cute, a mini version of the fancy Fifth Ave of NY). Went to Old Pasadena for mexican food (SO GOOD.. it's dai pai dong style but SO GOOD) and then wandered around the area. It reminds me of NY with all the stores and restaurants tightly packed next to each other.
Day 4= Drive to Hollywood Ranch and went horseback riding under the Hollywood sign! The horses would ride at the edge of the cliffs- kinda freaky because they like to get a hold of their bearings and the width of the road via the edge. I fulfilled my fantasy by wearing my Darth Vader coat and got a picture with my hood on. XD I'm now a Sith Elf lost in Lothlorien! Lololol
Went to the famous In and Out for burgers... Just drove around the rich Americana (it looks like people were in denial of reality= it's essentially a shopping/residential complex- ultra ritzy with a Bellagio-like fountain and valet parking and lights and flowers everywhere... if you lived there, you'd probably start to forget that world hunger existed) and I finally got to go to Target to see what it was like. She also took me to see a cemetary. I know it sounds really bizarre but I have never been to such a nice cemetary: marble sculptures, tombstones embedded on the ground so they didn't jut out like regular ones. Fountains, flowers, shrubs, small quiet churches... we visited Walt Disney's grave too which was surrounded by a tiny tiny garden and a golden plaque on the wall engraved with the names of his family.
I want to be buried there. It was so peaceful and beautiful especially with the setting sun.
At night her friend in Cali came over. BF broke up with her so essentially the last few days of my holiday in Cali was concerning this issue. We sat at the Cheesecake Factory while she talked to my roomie. I felt so awkward because I didn't know her and I didn't want to say anything because, well, I didn't know her. I don't know... it was just really emotionally tiring on my part to see her constantly crying, it drained me out. Initially I sulked because I didn't like the fact she was dampening my holiday with her issues. Selfish, I know, yet I didn't want the rest of my trip having to concern myself with someone else's boy issues. Particularly because I also felt like I should act in a manner of sobriety to fit her ill mood however I just wanted to smile and bounced around in the car with sunglasses on and take a lot of pictures of stuff in LA. I just wanted to be the happy tourist.
I know, I sound like a selfish unChristian jerk who wants to hoard my roomie to myself. But this past year I've had to shoulder the burdens of my roomie's issues with her bf and that in itself was difficult. Especially because my advice only stems from theory and observation and not experience.
Anyway, she slept over at my roomie's house too that night.
Day 5= Early in the morning the three of us went to tea at a place near my roomie's house. It was really relaxing- garden in the back, splashes of yellow sunlight spilling across the green cushions and cream wicker. Ergh their watercress cucumber sandwiches were friggin good- I'm going to attempt to recreate them back here. They were really 'shiwon he' compared to the rather heavy stuff I've been consuming the past few days. Oh 'shiwon he' means 'refreshing' in korean. LOL.
Anyway, her friend was still in a really ill mood but we decided to go to Huntington Library to walk around (see the first pic). It was really relaxing there too to just wander around the park- we also brought slices of fondant cake and fruit and sat in the Chinese garden to eat. Afterwards my roomie's friend recommended us a patisserie but we were too full to eat so we drove to the Ritz Carlton to nose around their interiors and had mohjitos and passion fruit ice tea by the poolside under the pink flowers blooming above and suspended on trees. The hotel even offers nectarines for you to eat, on the house. yumm. Sadly they weren't really sweet, just nice to look at.
After, we fobbed it up and took sticker pics. The machines were just as complex as the ones in HK- the one we used had this guerilla war method of taking pics- there were six cameras and you had to run to the one that was lit. Obviously the pics didn't turn out that well- we just looked confused in all of them. There were even ladders surrounding the wall so you could do tricks on them... I guess. :S
Wandered around the chinese plaza a bit before going back home and had another yummy dinner of... galbijim!!!! And then sat around and talked for a bit and got to know my roomie's friend better. She found out that night she also got accepted into Cal Arts as a transfer student. Man, just looking at the events that took place in her life this past week has made me realize how unpredictable it all is. One minute, God takes away your most cherished relationship and the next thing you know it, you get accepted into a prestigious college that has ties with Pixar and Disney. Amazing. I was hoping that that would cheer her up and she'd forget the pains of her relationships. Anyway she stayed the night.
Day 6= Went to an all american soda fountain for lunch and sundaes. We wanted to recreate this Norman Rockwell painting however we were unsuccessful (ok that made no sense unless you know the artist- we were trying to recreate the painting of a boy and his prom date who was happily showing her corsage to the soda shop keeper and the guy was looking mighty proud at his date).
Then her friend took us for a tour of UCLA since I wanted to see a typical college in Cali.
I mentioned to my roomie that if I had an extra day, I'd go to Disney again.. and she took me seriously and we drove there. It took us two friggin hours to get there but we enjoyed six hours there. Since we weren't bound down by particular rides, we rode the Matterhorn- a rollercoaster- while the disney fireworks were going on. It was stunning because we were swinging round and round and catching glimpses of the sparkling lights bursting in the inky sky. It was a Wed night and the line for Indian was 75 minutes. Friggin ridiculous so we did Single Rider which allows you to bypass everyone in groups, but you have to sit alone in the random seats they have left over. Whatever. We saved an hour's worth of time. We did Space Mountain AGAIN, lol, and it was a lot slower and smoother.
Yeah that was my trip. Not that you're interested in knowing, but so I can record it all down lest I forget (guaranteed to happen) because I know people don't want to hear me babbling about mundane details that only I really appreciate since I was the one who experienced it.
Her parents were ultra nice- the funniest thing was the drive from the airport to her house. Her dad was telling us how his wife dragged him to couple's aerobics. He did this gesture of clapping and pointing that if any person who knows korean culture would definitely understand... because it's a dance move in WonderGirl's 'Nobody' song. Go to 2:00 to see the dance move. LOL.
Anyway as the conversation unfolded, my roomie said her parents would dance to Korean pop songs to which I asked her dad if they danced to Wonder Girls (equivalent of Spice Girls but of 2009). He resounded a loud yes and I burst out into laughter when my roomie asked who Wonder Girls were.
It's sad and funny because her dad (previous generation) knows Wonder Girls and I know (current generation), as a chinese person, who Wonder Girls is. Anyway, later on that evening we decided to pop in on them to see their aerobics dance classes. So jokes. So sad.
The other day a Chinese woman insisted that I was Korean. Am I starting to look like one after merely hanging out with Koreans? :S The same thing is happening to my roomie except people say she looks Chinese.
I'm also starting to pick up more Korean. The day we arrived my roomie was worried that the car would stop in the middle of the road because the 'empty gas' signal was going off. Her parents say something to her in Korean and motion towards me to which I said to her "I am not pushing the car up the hill" She looked at me with a mixture of both amusement and surprise that I guessed what they were saying as if I understood them. Lol.
I also bought a pair of shoes.. the coolest pair of sneakers ever! Actually there was a pair of patent high tops with spectator details I wanted but alas no size!
ARE THEY NOT THE COOLEST PAIR OF SNEAKERS EVER?!
(and the most useless)
They're SHEER. Sheer sneakers! I love them.
They have so many colours too: http://www.pfflyers.com/womens/vere.php
I like buying useless things. I mean, cleaning them is going to be hell.
Cuteee... I think I just appreciate the whiteness of the photograph than what she is actually wearing..
Oh I love this pic: short and long hair with similar style of clothing. I really want to cut my hair T-T. But patience.. patience, my love. Patience for what? I want to grow it another three inches and then... iono. I want to dye it but I dislike the idea of doing my roots every six weeks and getting chemicals in my brains. Plus I like the idea of virgin hair especially since mine is ultra black
Love this quirk of a style. Not a male style pleaser but I love it. Love the colour of the tights with the nerd glasses, streamlined blazer jacket, touch of gold and the Edna Mode hair.. argh... EDNA MODE HAIR
Sometimes, um yeah. At times I'll say really shallow things because I know I'd burn with embarrassment to actually say these things aloud. On one hand I want people to know these silly selfish things because deep down it goes beyond just surface material. Yet at the same time I hate myself for worrying about such trivial things. Honestly, would the world stop turning if I didn't wear something cute to the restaurant? No but I still want to look good.
And lately my self esteem has been pretty next to nil due to stupid things like physical appearance. I hate how my bangs are now at that awkward length where they cover my eyes but are too short to be swept to the side. Cut it? I'm tired of bangs- but now looking at myself in the mirror with my entire face showing makes me wants to hide behind that familiar curtain.
I gained five pounds back in Toronto. It's really affecting how I see myself. I stand in front of the mirror chiding at my lack of self discipline, how no one is going to be attracted to someone who has gone soft around the edges.
Then I look closely in the mirror and I hate the bone structure of my face since my bangs now reveal everything. That sounds really retarded but as someone who is more visually keen, I critique every jut of a cheekbone, every receding line of my jawline. How my face is too long- it looks like a jellybean. How it doesn't look like a typically pretty girl with the eyes that go wide at the center (mine start immediately wide and then taper) and how my extremely arched eyebrows look rather awkward on such a long face. I like thin lips that curve up- mine are full and point down. I like heart shaped faces that start wide and then taper sharply at the jawline to a point. Mine is just long, kinda juts out at the cheekbones and then tapers in softly to a round.
A part of me cannot deny these feelings of.. 'self pity' because I often try to push them away and not voice them out. Because a part of me tells me to be grateful for the way I was made yet internally I struggle with taking ahold of these issues. I feel like.. they shouldn't be issues- that outsiders would regard these things as trivial and foolish but they are not the ones who have to dwell in this body day to day. I'm sorry for people who have to read this yet I write it all here because it is this foolishness and 'idle talk' that I want to save their ears from hearing. Because I know this sounds illogical, I ought not to express it in words yet because I feel like these concerns are not worth being verbally uttered, I should write them. Yet writing them makes me seem even more foolish.
The logical, the Christian part of me knows that beauty is fleeting. That the clay ought not to challenge the potter (yes it says that in Isaiah somewhere). That the time spent worrying about these things could be used in prayer and shouldering the burdens of others.
You know what, I'm just venting. Yet my SG group was discussing two weeks ago, that we often go to our peers and friends first to confide in... yet when do we ever take our problems first to God so He could be the first one to hear them? So I shall stop venting here and go talk to God about it.
I slipped in my devos the past days in LA... perhaps that's why my mind has started wandering away to the really trivial things in life rather than trying to grasp God's vision in all its totality.
Dang it, why is my mind so limited?
Picture taken at the Orchid Show three weeks ago. The most obscure flowers I have ever seen. They look like some flowers Miyazaki or Murakami would draw and come to life
A new Korean boyband created by SM... stumbled upon the piano version of this song that I really love and now I really like their dance that goes with it. The song is quite typical.. but catchy. It talks about a younger guy and his 'noona' (title for an older girl) and his 'love' for her. Not like you'd understand it but here you go.
Watch the full version of the dance: here. It's really impressive- very smooth. If I could do that I'd be a happy camper.
I'll find the piano version of it for next entry. It sounds a little sadder but it's a good anime-ish song to listen to.
Getty Museum. Unfortunately people got in the pic. My third time here
Welcome to California. Doesn't this picture look so familiar? lol. I took it at the Huntington Library where they also filmed Memoirs of a Geisha (the cherry blossom viewing party where they had to stick fake rose petals on a tree because they wouldn't allow the crew to fly in a real tree. lol. Yes I watch my movies with commentary
Guess whose back.. back again...
ME
After six days in LA with my roomie, I'm once again back in the dismal jungle of concrete that is New York. Then again going to LA made me appreciate New York more- I've ruled out LA as a place I'd live.. too much driving and things are so spread apart.
So what did Sam do in LA?
The question ought to be.. do YOU really want to know. lol
Day 1= arrived in LA. There was a delay on Jet blue but as awesome as they are, they gave us a $25 voucher. We just perched ourselves on the bar and drank orange juice out of wine glasses and shared a panini. Bumped into fellow Parsons kid there too. When we arrived, we went for a drive to the gas station and the bakery because my roomie wanted to get me a mini fondant cake. Turns out they didn't sell them in individual sizes so we ordered a honking large made-to-order one just to see what fondant tastes like (fondant is the dough like stuff they put on wedding cakes). Roomie's mom made me galbitang for dinner.... yumyumyum At night we went on a drive to downtown where we went to a lounge called 'Standard'. It's a rooftop bar overlooking downtown... but the BEST part of it were the three circular waterbeds housed in red cocoon-esque structures. My roomie and I just sat inside bouncing around and realized how retarded we looked because we werent there to drink or socialize but to play on their waterbeds. :S There were some weird guys who asked if they could join in which resulted in me freezing up and looking at my roommate to tell them to go away. One guy started talking about a previous experience with a leaking waterbed and I had no idea what he was saying because I was too busy trying to figure out how to get out because his entire body was blocking the entrance. :S Yeah we left when the party started (aka when there were a ton of people) because we're old women who need our sleep after an additional three hours on our sched with the time difference. Plus we needed our energy for Day 2 because....
Day 2= Disney. LOL. Yes, my first full day in LA and we go to Disney. We got the tickets via a person on Craigslist. I felt like we were dealing drugs cuz we had to find a silver lexus at the back of a restaurant and the cash was placed in an envelope and he would give us the ticket in exchange. Sketch. Anyway, we were surprised to see TONS of people at Disney on a Thursday.. turns out Disney was really clever in handling the recession: they had a birthday special where every person who registered their birthday date online could go to the park in for free on the day of. Of course that means kids had parents and friends in tow.. so you could imagine how much money they made. The lines were ridiculous. Even waiting to get a parking ticket was ridiculous so we rolled down the windows and blasted our music (yeah we were acting like high school kids). Yo Lady Gaga's 'Just Dance' sounds SO GOOD on speakers with a good bass! The contrast which is lost on a mere laptop and earphones flattens the music out. If you use carspeakers, the depth of the bass contrasts so well with the higher notes, giving the song a lot more translucency and fullness. DANG. I want car speakers now!
'Just Dance' was the theme song of my trip in Cali. The song is so addicting.
We rode on the majority of the big rides and saw Fantasmic and the fireworks but alas, Indiana Jones ride was closed so I didn't get to go on it :( Space Mountain was closed for maintenance most of the day so by the time the fireworks were done, there was a huge lineup for all the lost time. However to compensate for the surge of guests, they had to speed up the ride which really killed my stomach since my body was slamming against the bar and my roomie's neck was hurting from all the jolting. I've never been on such a spazztic Space Mountain ride before. Oh and the Aladdin musical was really cool.
Day 3= Roomie and I met up with my cousin who is working in LA at a restaurant called Milk (ironically she's lactose intolerant.. lol) and had lunch together. Afterwards drove to her house where we carpooled to the Getty Museum (stunning modern art gallery with equally beautiful architecture). Wandered around the gardens and then sat down for coffee. Afterwards we hung out at my cousin's place for a bit and then Bon drove me around Beverly Hills to see the stunning houses and Rodeo Drive (so cute, a mini version of the fancy Fifth Ave of NY). Went to Old Pasadena for mexican food (SO GOOD.. it's dai pai dong style but SO GOOD) and then wandered around the area. It reminds me of NY with all the stores and restaurants tightly packed next to each other.
Day 4= Drive to Hollywood Ranch and went horseback riding under the Hollywood sign! The horses would ride at the edge of the cliffs- kinda freaky because they like to get a hold of their bearings and the width of the road via the edge. I fulfilled my fantasy by wearing my Darth Vader coat and got a picture with my hood on. XD I'm now a Sith Elf lost in Lothlorien! Lololol
Went to the famous In and Out for burgers... Just drove around the rich Americana (it looks like people were in denial of reality= it's essentially a shopping/residential complex- ultra ritzy with a Bellagio-like fountain and valet parking and lights and flowers everywhere... if you lived there, you'd probably start to forget that world hunger existed) and I finally got to go to Target to see what it was like. She also took me to see a cemetary. I know it sounds really bizarre but I have never been to such a nice cemetary: marble sculptures, tombstones embedded on the ground so they didn't jut out like regular ones. Fountains, flowers, shrubs, small quiet churches... we visited Walt Disney's grave too which was surrounded by a tiny tiny garden and a golden plaque on the wall engraved with the names of his family.
I want to be buried there. It was so peaceful and beautiful especially with the setting sun.
At night her friend in Cali came over. BF broke up with her so essentially the last few days of my holiday in Cali was concerning this issue. We sat at the Cheesecake Factory while she talked to my roomie. I felt so awkward because I didn't know her and I didn't want to say anything because, well, I didn't know her. I don't know... it was just really emotionally tiring on my part to see her constantly crying, it drained me out. Initially I sulked because I didn't like the fact she was dampening my holiday with her issues. Selfish, I know, yet I didn't want the rest of my trip having to concern myself with someone else's boy issues. Particularly because I also felt like I should act in a manner of sobriety to fit her ill mood however I just wanted to smile and bounced around in the car with sunglasses on and take a lot of pictures of stuff in LA. I just wanted to be the happy tourist.
I know, I sound like a selfish unChristian jerk who wants to hoard my roomie to myself. But this past year I've had to shoulder the burdens of my roomie's issues with her bf and that in itself was difficult. Especially because my advice only stems from theory and observation and not experience.
Anyway, she slept over at my roomie's house too that night.
Day 5= Early in the morning the three of us went to tea at a place near my roomie's house. It was really relaxing- garden in the back, splashes of yellow sunlight spilling across the green cushions and cream wicker. Ergh their watercress cucumber sandwiches were friggin good- I'm going to attempt to recreate them back here. They were really 'shiwon he' compared to the rather heavy stuff I've been consuming the past few days. Oh 'shiwon he' means 'refreshing' in korean. LOL.
Anyway, her friend was still in a really ill mood but we decided to go to Huntington Library to walk around (see the first pic). It was really relaxing there too to just wander around the park- we also brought slices of fondant cake and fruit and sat in the Chinese garden to eat. Afterwards my roomie's friend recommended us a patisserie but we were too full to eat so we drove to the Ritz Carlton to nose around their interiors and had mohjitos and passion fruit ice tea by the poolside under the pink flowers blooming above and suspended on trees. The hotel even offers nectarines for you to eat, on the house. yumm. Sadly they weren't really sweet, just nice to look at.
After, we fobbed it up and took sticker pics. The machines were just as complex as the ones in HK- the one we used had this guerilla war method of taking pics- there were six cameras and you had to run to the one that was lit. Obviously the pics didn't turn out that well- we just looked confused in all of them. There were even ladders surrounding the wall so you could do tricks on them... I guess. :S
Wandered around the chinese plaza a bit before going back home and had another yummy dinner of... galbijim!!!! And then sat around and talked for a bit and got to know my roomie's friend better. She found out that night she also got accepted into Cal Arts as a transfer student. Man, just looking at the events that took place in her life this past week has made me realize how unpredictable it all is. One minute, God takes away your most cherished relationship and the next thing you know it, you get accepted into a prestigious college that has ties with Pixar and Disney. Amazing. I was hoping that that would cheer her up and she'd forget the pains of her relationships. Anyway she stayed the night.
Day 6= Went to an all american soda fountain for lunch and sundaes. We wanted to recreate this Norman Rockwell painting however we were unsuccessful (ok that made no sense unless you know the artist- we were trying to recreate the painting of a boy and his prom date who was happily showing her corsage to the soda shop keeper and the guy was looking mighty proud at his date).
Then her friend took us for a tour of UCLA since I wanted to see a typical college in Cali.
I mentioned to my roomie that if I had an extra day, I'd go to Disney again.. and she took me seriously and we drove there. It took us two friggin hours to get there but we enjoyed six hours there. Since we weren't bound down by particular rides, we rode the Matterhorn- a rollercoaster- while the disney fireworks were going on. It was stunning because we were swinging round and round and catching glimpses of the sparkling lights bursting in the inky sky. It was a Wed night and the line for Indian was 75 minutes. Friggin ridiculous so we did Single Rider which allows you to bypass everyone in groups, but you have to sit alone in the random seats they have left over. Whatever. We saved an hour's worth of time. We did Space Mountain AGAIN, lol, and it was a lot slower and smoother.
Yeah that was my trip. Not that you're interested in knowing, but so I can record it all down lest I forget (guaranteed to happen) because I know people don't want to hear me babbling about mundane details that only I really appreciate since I was the one who experienced it.
Her parents were ultra nice- the funniest thing was the drive from the airport to her house. Her dad was telling us how his wife dragged him to couple's aerobics. He did this gesture of clapping and pointing that if any person who knows korean culture would definitely understand... because it's a dance move in WonderGirl's 'Nobody' song. Go to 2:00 to see the dance move. LOL.
Anyway as the conversation unfolded, my roomie said her parents would dance to Korean pop songs to which I asked her dad if they danced to Wonder Girls (equivalent of Spice Girls but of 2009). He resounded a loud yes and I burst out into laughter when my roomie asked who Wonder Girls were.
It's sad and funny because her dad (previous generation) knows Wonder Girls and I know (current generation), as a chinese person, who Wonder Girls is. Anyway, later on that evening we decided to pop in on them to see their aerobics dance classes. So jokes. So sad.
The other day a Chinese woman insisted that I was Korean. Am I starting to look like one after merely hanging out with Koreans? :S The same thing is happening to my roomie except people say she looks Chinese.
I'm also starting to pick up more Korean. The day we arrived my roomie was worried that the car would stop in the middle of the road because the 'empty gas' signal was going off. Her parents say something to her in Korean and motion towards me to which I said to her "I am not pushing the car up the hill" She looked at me with a mixture of both amusement and surprise that I guessed what they were saying as if I understood them. Lol.
I also bought a pair of shoes.. the coolest pair of sneakers ever! Actually there was a pair of patent high tops with spectator details I wanted but alas no size!
ARE THEY NOT THE COOLEST PAIR OF SNEAKERS EVER?!
(and the most useless)
They're SHEER. Sheer sneakers! I love them.
They have so many colours too: http://www.pfflyers.com/womens/vere.php
I like buying useless things. I mean, cleaning them is going to be hell.
Cuteee... I think I just appreciate the whiteness of the photograph than what she is actually wearing..
Oh I love this pic: short and long hair with similar style of clothing. I really want to cut my hair T-T. But patience.. patience, my love. Patience for what? I want to grow it another three inches and then... iono. I want to dye it but I dislike the idea of doing my roots every six weeks and getting chemicals in my brains. Plus I like the idea of virgin hair especially since mine is ultra black
Love this quirk of a style. Not a male style pleaser but I love it. Love the colour of the tights with the nerd glasses, streamlined blazer jacket, touch of gold and the Edna Mode hair.. argh... EDNA MODE HAIR
Sometimes, um yeah. At times I'll say really shallow things because I know I'd burn with embarrassment to actually say these things aloud. On one hand I want people to know these silly selfish things because deep down it goes beyond just surface material. Yet at the same time I hate myself for worrying about such trivial things. Honestly, would the world stop turning if I didn't wear something cute to the restaurant? No but I still want to look good.
And lately my self esteem has been pretty next to nil due to stupid things like physical appearance. I hate how my bangs are now at that awkward length where they cover my eyes but are too short to be swept to the side. Cut it? I'm tired of bangs- but now looking at myself in the mirror with my entire face showing makes me wants to hide behind that familiar curtain.
I gained five pounds back in Toronto. It's really affecting how I see myself. I stand in front of the mirror chiding at my lack of self discipline, how no one is going to be attracted to someone who has gone soft around the edges.
Then I look closely in the mirror and I hate the bone structure of my face since my bangs now reveal everything. That sounds really retarded but as someone who is more visually keen, I critique every jut of a cheekbone, every receding line of my jawline. How my face is too long- it looks like a jellybean. How it doesn't look like a typically pretty girl with the eyes that go wide at the center (mine start immediately wide and then taper) and how my extremely arched eyebrows look rather awkward on such a long face. I like thin lips that curve up- mine are full and point down. I like heart shaped faces that start wide and then taper sharply at the jawline to a point. Mine is just long, kinda juts out at the cheekbones and then tapers in softly to a round.
A part of me cannot deny these feelings of.. 'self pity' because I often try to push them away and not voice them out. Because a part of me tells me to be grateful for the way I was made yet internally I struggle with taking ahold of these issues. I feel like.. they shouldn't be issues- that outsiders would regard these things as trivial and foolish but they are not the ones who have to dwell in this body day to day. I'm sorry for people who have to read this yet I write it all here because it is this foolishness and 'idle talk' that I want to save their ears from hearing. Because I know this sounds illogical, I ought not to express it in words yet because I feel like these concerns are not worth being verbally uttered, I should write them. Yet writing them makes me seem even more foolish.
The logical, the Christian part of me knows that beauty is fleeting. That the clay ought not to challenge the potter (yes it says that in Isaiah somewhere). That the time spent worrying about these things could be used in prayer and shouldering the burdens of others.
You know what, I'm just venting. Yet my SG group was discussing two weeks ago, that we often go to our peers and friends first to confide in... yet when do we ever take our problems first to God so He could be the first one to hear them? So I shall stop venting here and go talk to God about it.
I slipped in my devos the past days in LA... perhaps that's why my mind has started wandering away to the really trivial things in life rather than trying to grasp God's vision in all its totality.
Dang it, why is my mind so limited?
Picture taken at the Orchid Show three weeks ago. The most obscure flowers I have ever seen. They look like some flowers Miyazaki or Murakami would draw and come to life
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