Cambridge//Loo Revisited

Oh fashion couples- how you ooze awesomeness. LOL jk. Well, not really.


Wo xihuan! XD


Not something I particularly like but it's quirky






I really want to cut my hair short now.
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Brown sugar tuiles- made these for New Years. Made to be accompanied by ice cream

From Thurs to Sat I went to Cambridge with my accountability partner
Sat to Sun I was in Waterloo.

It was fun.
I've realized that there is more fear than pleasure in my relationships with people. In NY I'm used to playing the role of the host/leader- I find stability in knowing that my role is rather indispensable despite how much I may dislike it. However when it came time to play 'visitor' I am quite at a loss as to how to be a friend as a taker in the most passive sense where you trust in people to organize and initiate.
I am one of those people who can't sit still. If nothing is happening, I will go out of my way to make something happen.
I'd rather take the scenic route if it means going at 100km although it takes longer to arrive to destination than to take the local road at 60km and arrive two minutes earlier. I'm just like that- it came out of having to live alone in a huge city. I guess it's the fear of the unknown that makes me just want to do something just to force some certainty and control in there.

Anyway.
So to play Guest was a little daunting because I am used to being Host.
But before playing, I decided to plan some of the outcomes- to take control of some of the unknown.
I decided to bake.
It's my way of communicating to the general public- my mouth is in the stomach.
1) William Sonoma cappuccino cheesecake with a brownie base for one of the archi students who came to NY who loves cheesecake.
2) Strawberry tart for one of my models/stylist for my previous amateur photoshoot. He insisted on "some form of berry tart minus all the christmas crap, ginger and pears". Simple and straightforward- nothing 'fancy'.
3) Tiramisu for one of the guys since it was his birthday that Friday. He doesn't like dessert but I decided to make it because they mentioned the only celebratory thing they have time for are $4 cakes that sometimes are already expired. Anyway, another archi friend tried it and loved it so even if the birthday boy didn't like it, at least someone else does.
4) Inside out carrot cake cookies for the boys at Macdougall house where I was staying at in Waterloo

The hardest thing about making these items wasn't the actual creation of the desserts. Rather it was figuring out how to transport them from my kitchen to downtown Greyhound to Cambridge. Initially my mom gave me a crate to carry them all in since the cheesecake and tiramisu were extremely heavy and the tart was extremely delicate. Except I was also carrying a purse and a large bag as luggage.
Clever me remembered there was a Japanese method of tying fabric around any given object to make a 'bag'. Looked it up on the net, furoshiki, and then eliminated the huge clumsy crate by carrying the cheesecake in fabric. Everything else was placed in the largest bag I had. Go me. And everything arrived in tact.

So we arrived in Lamebridge at 6:30. No taxi, had to call for one. Prior to our arrival there was a long Facebook msg going on about what was to happen. I was particularly grateful for one friend who I've only met once yet he took initiative of what was to happen upon our arrival.
So we arrive at Josh's place (I'm just going to start using names to make life easier), mull around until he came back from BS and then walked in -30 degrees to Joon and Richard's place. THE CUTEST APARTMENT EVER. I'd love to have one of those in NY.
Anyway, Richard, the organizer of this whole trip, was in the kitchen (picture him with black chef apron. LOL) while we sat and talked and listened to his jazz music, made sauteed shrimp as an appetizer, mixed us some sweet cocktail drink and prepped his signature mussels dish with lightly pan-fried bread. It was soooo good washed down with sips of red wine.
Richard cut Josh's hair- the rest of us watched (yes I find it entertaining).
Dessert time- strawberry tart appropriated from two different recipes- orange zest shortbread crust with mascarpone filling and my own strawberry design. It was pretty good.

We then headed off back to Josh's place where we met up with Dion who got his cheesecake which was then divided between all the housemates.
Day 2- we went to Iconography class with them from 10-1. Break time- Richard treated us to hot chocolate. The first person he introduced me to actually lives a two minute drive from me. WEIRD. I read my accountability partner's book on worship for the audience of one until the prof started talking about fashion in the Rococo period to the time of Napolean.
We then had lunch at Viet restaurant, went to the studio and hung around for a few hours before dinner at 6 for Josh's birthday. Table of 14 at Thai restaurant. We then split- we went home to watch Deathnote (LOL) and skyped with a mutual friend from NY. Everyone congregates again to have the tiramisu for Josh and one of his housemates whose birthday they missed the week before. It was a huge success- even the ones who didn't like dessert liked the tiramisu and those who sampled the other ones prefered the tiramisu above the rest.
I was then introduced to the game of Mafia.
SO MUCH FUN.
The line of the day with Josh as the narrator, my accountability partner and I as the two remaining Mafia members trying to kill off one of the guys and Josh forgets who we picked: "On 106th street, Yolanda was walking on the street when a truck ran her over... and.... then she was saved by the manhole." *turns around to face the eliminated people while my partner in crime and I were in a state of confusion* "Wait, I messed up didn't I?"
And I can't forget "So can the Mafia please put their heads down. OH wait.. heads back up, I can't remember who the Mafia people are!"
We played till 4am.
And then friend wanted to finish Deathnote so we were up till 7am and slept for two hours before heading off to a round robin brunch with diff archi people. Then went back home to wait for our ride to come to pick us up. He came really late so we sat around with AY, Han and Karen and just talked. It was lovely. So simple but so much fun.

Then proceeded to go to Waterloo thanks to one guy driving me from Loo and back. I was so dead that day but they hosted a huge hot pot dinner at their house. Anyway, I don't really care to reiterate what happened there. Church was interesting. I was just plain awkward the whole time with the Loo kids and I was too tired to make small talk with every person there. Everyone knew each other except me. I baked an apple galette for them.




I no longer know what to think, feel or how to react to friends and budding friendships.
I read a book my dad recently purchased called 'Grown up Digital' concerning how our generation is influenced by the internet. We no longer want companies feeding us new products or the latest gadgets- we want to be prosumers that are actively involved in the process of making, innovating and product enhancement. If companies want to become successful, as the author advises, you must make friends with the consumer.

Yet the definition of 'friend' is rapidly changing. I'd like to say it's diluting. For as sociologists, according to the book, have observed that prior to the internet phase, the average person would maintain a circle of 150 friends, now we each have about 700 'friends' all available through the click of a mouse, a message on a wall or a video conference away. What was a world that was defined through six degrees of separation has now become, scarily enough, two degrees.
Disagree?
Let's use me as a case study:

So I know Josh through Robyn.
Through Josh I got to know Joon in NY who saw me on Facebook before he got Facebook through Richard.
I got to know Richard because of the photoshoot this past summer- this visit to Cambridge marks only the second time I've seen him yet we've conversed quite a few times through Josh's MSN or via Facebook.
Richard knows of Tommy because his piano teacher knew him really well.
Betty introduced me to Tommy. Betty went to the same HS as me but I didn't get to know her until this year.
Robyn introduced me to Betty who she knew from HS
I introduced her to Josh, Richard, Joon etc.
Richard also now knows of David, a friend of Dion/Karen/Joon because I constantly mention about the two that they've become friends on facebook.
Joon is Richard's roommate, and I know Dion and Karen through Joon.
Karen and Josh's housemate, AY, is a high school friend's best friend's boyfriend.
Tim, Josh's roommate is old friends with Rebecca.
Rebecca is one of my Arts York friend's classmate at Ryerson. I met Rebecca a year ago in Hong Kong.
Rebecca went to LA to visit Tim and she met Josh and Richard there for the first time. She added them on facebook later only to realize we were all mutual friends.






Whenever someone asks me "how did you meet Joon/Karen/Richard/Dion?" it becomes a really complex story that really makes no sense unless you were acquainted with our network of friends. So yes, the two degrees of separation exists.
Yet I've realized that despite MSN/Facebook and all the communication technology that exists to help us connect with one another easier, the options have made us into fickle consumers the leave once the tough gets going. The sheer amount of options and the opportunities to meet more and more new people have allowed us the ability to discard what friendships that seem to dwindle for more exciting new ones. This has created very shallow, fickle consumers out of us looking for the next relationship derived from emotional pleasure and ignoring withering ones. 'Speed dating' for friendships is a daily activity. In the past, when you made a friend, you had to commit to them through face to face visits, written letters and phone calls. Nowadays it becomes so easy you have to do little to maintain a 'friendship' Perhaps we are all now overexposed with Facebook and instant messengers of sorts. As one of the guys said "I don't have a cell phone. I can reach people when I want to but they can't get to me unless I call them. It's great." Perhaps I should eliminate some stuff.
I've noticed my friendships have about a two year 'lifespan' where they peak approximately the second year and then fade to the back.

At Cambridge, my friend explains to me that they made a schedule where two people are put in charge of cooking dinner and they rotate. This is the only time they all sit down together as a house to chill and eat. We thought that was so cute- like a mini family.
It came as a surprise to me when I was saying goodbye to one of the girls, she began to talk to me about her relationship issues. She said I reminded her of her friends back at home so she found it easy to open up to me. Funnily enough I got caught in her frustrations with her relationships as a third party only looking for friends when in NY. Oops.

"Omg, wow I can't believe you actually made me something. I was actually just kidding! No one has ever baked for me before! Omg is it strawberry? OMGGG camera, camera, camera!"
I told him that I take what people say seriously (depending on the context obviously). It's not that I'm not having fun doing and planning things but I guess my levels of commitment in certain friendships is very different to how others view and give back. This game we call 'maintaining social status' is getting tiresome.
Perhaps it is time to narrow down friendships- to really see who takes it seriously. Life is too short to play around. Really, my view on most friendships is out of cynicism. I don't really believe in friends anymore. It's not an emo statement, it's basically a reiteration of why I will never put hope in people. It's why I've ceased to initiate in Toronto, why I'm pseudo hibernating. I used to cherish the ephemeral because it was the sheer fragility of friendships that I found so attractive. Yet I was loving and admiring them with a will to make them permanent which is basically futile.


It's very silly but Richard cooking and hosting dinner at his house for us really touched me. He has only met me once and has never even met my accountability partner yet he graciously invited us over. Dinner was complete with good music and Shiraz. I think that's a perfect little event- being invited over, having dinner in the company of a small group of friends over good food and conversation. It's nice to be the Guest. Am I the only one who gets so... touched by these really simple gestures?

I have no nice conclusion to all this. I wish I could say everything is fine and dandy, and give a nice ending to sum it up with some wise words but I have none. I am very grateful for the Cambridge trip, don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about the trip itself, I'm just speculating beyond the past four days. What the future holds for these friendships, I believe very little would due to sheer distance and their busy schedules. Seeing how those brief Loo friendships came and went makes me wonder how these archi ones will hold. But, for now, I miss them very much.



All eyes are on You, God.



Funny enough, if we all went through our Facebook list of 'friends' and shared the Gospel to them, imagine the impact we'd have on people.