ANTM// The Factor of Physical Appearance// Good Quote

I bumped into my old roomie a few weeks ago and she asked me if I watched America's Next Top Model. I haven't watched the past few seasons because I'm not really interested in the drama as I am in the actual photoshoot and end result of the photography. Anyway I decided to tune in again. It is something I would not admit back in grade 12 but now my idea is that if people don't like it or think it's stupid, oh well.
Anyway the photoshoot this week required the contestants to be photographed as men while assistant male models were transformed into women. The two above were my absolute favourites- the left one looks like a poetic, wistful Sinbad. The other had the challenge of looking 'gangster' and added her own 'grill' with tin foil and had the funniest series of poses. The contestant herself has an accent when she spoke English but she still made the effort to ask the more Americanized girls to teach her the whole 'gangster style/attitude' type of thing.

The Factor of Physical Appearance
My roomie sent me the following link on dating relationships. If you're not christian, it's pretty funny in a disgusting sense:
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html
It basically breaks down the female/male brain in terms of desired attributes and all this crap. It really is a piece of stupid 'ideology' that mocks the idea of purity. Why I posted it if it's full of crap? I don't know why I thought but after seeing the Male pie chart it struck me that looks really do matter. Lately I realized through reading material and talking to some, that the former is true. I always had this utopian ideal that physical appearance didn't matter. I know that sounds really weird considering it's me but I think it's because I've read so many books on how inner beauty is so important and how outward beauty is so temporary and fleeting, that I seem to think that's what people really believe. Haha I had some idea that real, spiritual men did not really look at exteriors and went straight into the heart. Shallow men= appearances.
I know it seems the complete opposite of what people believe and it sounds a little incredulous coming from someone who is studying to make surface decor for the body but I think it's because of the overdose in Christian 'inner beauty' mantra that has made me believe that people actually saw that first. I have written a post in defense of how you first make an impression with your appearance but I don't think I really fully 'understood' it until now. When they said men were more 'visual' than females I didn't really weigh that in because I am an artist thus am just as visually stimulated as men. However I realized it was a different viewpoint- I think a lot of females don't fully understand that either. Or they do and use it to their own advantage. Short shorts to us are nothing- although I don't fully understand the mind of the male I guess it's different.. I think. Not sure.
With that I realize I do have to be a little more sensitive in terms of not causing others to stumble and what I post up verbally and visually. I think what I wear is not really an issue- I think.
I think another reason why I rejected the idea of physical attraction actually having some major playing time in the court, is that the people around me are constantly harping on it. As someone who is always seeking an equilibrium, I hear my roommate saying how she's fat and how she has to stop eating and all that.. and it tires me like no other. I hate hearing it because it's a bunch of self-made poison that's just killing her on the inside. No one likes to be around a negative person and listening to all her self criticism that really is not a big factor in the terms of beauty. I think she's pretty, I think she's attractive. You know what, I think Parsons has some of the most gorgeous girls I have ever seen in my entire life. With a 90% female pop, it's hard not to have some of the finest females in our school especially since we're a fashion school. The roomies had a talk once about this: NY vs LA and yeah, Manhattan really does have an overwhelming population of gorgeous (skinny) femmes. Okay I've sidetracked. Point is is that I don't think there are many hideous females. :P

Fall 2007
My initial reason for posting was to vent about the upcoming semester. I'm having a lot of trouble signing up for classes because I'm sure the good ones will be closed indefinitely to us IDC students. Sigh. I'm just really frustrated about everything and I feel like I'm being forced to take certain classes that I clearly do not want to take (yes I did give the course a chance- twice that is and both times sucked so I don't want to waste my $20k on a lame course for a third time). Someone mentioned something today which kind of pissed me off. I think it's okay if I criticize the major I'm in or if my roomie does because we are both expressing our frustrations in this experimental-like program. However when someone else puts it down and laughs at it, it really annoys me because they're basically laughing at my entire major plus everything that I have worked on thus far.
In the end, I don't think education will really teach us anything about the intended industry that we are all going into however I do believe experience is the real teacher.

Good Quote
Andrew just sent me this quote by the notorious Henry Cloud (and company) which holds true for me personally:

adults who grow up in military families often report this dynamic. they'll move twelve times in as many years, and htey quickly realize that they probably won't see their classmates ever again after each school year. to survive, they simply construct an adaptive front that lets them make a few acquaintances and not get rejected by the class, and that's it. no one gets close. they stay self-sufficient to keep form experiencing overwhelming loss and abandonment. and they often hold it together until they grow up and try to pull off a marriage - at which time disaster erupts.
make friends with your needs. welcome them. they are a gift from god, designed to draw you into relationship with him and with his safe people. your needs are the cure to the sin of self-sufficiency.

I don't think I've noticed it until lately when trying to get to know people. I realized that I have this natural reflex to just not feel anything when around people who are clearly inviting me to places or trying to initiate something. Last year I never felt this because I didn't talk to anyone at church- well anything more than a "hi my name is Samantha, nice to meet you." type of thing. This year I am trying to get into the loop of things however I don't get excited when people ask me out for lunch (well a little) but in my head it's like "get this over and done with" idea. I think I've semi recognized this and now it's pretty concrete with this Henry Cloud excerpt. I'm one of those moving, constant traveler with a wealth of culture/knowledge who has become quite independent due to the 'need' to move. However I have to figure out a way to go from independent to interdependent. I want to be interdependent. I do want to be able to rely on someone, perhaps in the dating/marriage realm, but when it comes into practice, I have difficulty actually accepting it.
You know what, the reason why I turn to MSN is because the internet, as much as I'd hate to admit, has the ability to continue relationships despite the criticisms of the lack of physical presence. However people like me, cannot afford to be choosy so I find MSN to be one of the driving forces in continuing, maintaining and even creating new relationships. It allows me to continue those short lived and shallow friendships and gives me the ability to dig deeper. Of course this has its downfalls but I can't complain. I do have friendships that are still up and running and flourishing due to the primary fact that MSN is allowing me to stay connected with those people.

Sooner or later I'll have to apply for Bloggers Anonymous or start my own club of one.
I honestly believe no one is following this anymore.