Spring Break with Mothers// Maturity is not Derived from Concept

Shoe shopping with the moms early in the morning

My mom left today after a three day stay here in Manhattan and so did Auntie Jo. It was very good- overall my spring break was excellent. I wish I could do it all over again. Three days spent with family are gone. The first day my mom's plane arrived late so when she got here she unpacked all the goodies she brought with her to New York including two boxes of yeung chow fried rice (hehe- my dad told the waitress that it was a very important bowl of rice since it would be heading south), Maltesers (they don't sell them here), a huge stack of Toronto Star fashion newspapers, and other randomness. We then went up to Central Park and strolled around and had overpriced drumsticks. We subbed back down and I showed her the stores I liked and bought a teacup and towel and went to City Bakery to buy a couple of tarts. For dinner, New York pizza with Robyn and chocolate galore at Max Brenners (hazelnut praline crepe and fondue. :P)
Yesterday was a total... food tour where we structured the day according to where we wanted to eat. Auntie Jo arrived at 9am in the morning- we had a light breakfast of tea and croissants and sat at Union Square to eat them. Auntie Jo mentioned she wanted to get shoes so we ended up at a shoe store across the park. Four women/girls and two hours later, we emerged with six pairs of shoes. lol. It was great. My mom bought two pairs of Converse (to make her look younger she says), Auntie Jo with boots and work shoes, Robyn with a pair of plaid Converse and I with a pair of sneakers.

I reserved a table for us at a famous restaurant called Balthazar down in the Soho district- a French bohemian restaurant which was packed with a lot of Woody Allen art types and rich women with their boyfriends. Duck shepherd's pie, banana ricotta tart, flaky apple tart, lobster bisque, salad.... I haven't eaten so well since Christmas. Expensive lunch but lovely.
Fast forwarding, we ended up at the Museum of Modern Art (MOMA) and saw a huge line snaking outside and around the periphery of the building- there were at least 150 people outside. We realized it was 'Free Fridays' so basically everyone was trying to get in without paying the $7. I had a family pass (because we're doing a lame assignment in 'collaboration' with the MOMA) and got to skip the lines.
It pays to be a Parsons student... -_-
Anyway the whole point of going there was so that my mom could eat the pear tart at the caf so after seeing some not so inspiring photography and a comic exhibit, we ended up snacking at 4pm. Robyn reserved a table for us at Cafe Mozart- a Viennese cafe for 7pm and I underestimated the distance between the museum and the cafe by about 20 blocks so we basically crawled up there with jelly legs. Food fest it was.
Both our moms decided to treat us to a night at a hotel so we basically chilled there afterwards.
Today we took it slow- went back and I tried to stuff as many things into my mom's suitcase that I didn't really need here. Then we went around Union Square and had breakfast at Tisserie, perused the children's book section at Barnes and Nobles and I showed her the Farmer's Market where we purchased some pear cider and tulips to 'brighten' up my room and fresh peanut butter and blackberries at Whole Foods. I decided to take her around the 6th ave area and popped into J.Crew- a preppy, higher end version of American Eagle. For some reason, Parsons students get 10% discount on any purchases there so I managed to persuade my mom to buy herself a cropped trench coat. Upon asking why I was trying to make her get it, I replied "because you never get anything yourself," and she said "because I came here to spend money on you." -_- We met up with Auntie Jo and Robyn later on and had a late lunch at Le Pain Quotidien. Finding a taxi that would take my mom to the airport was difficult- everyone was off duty and about to change shifts so in the end, I was trying to get one before this other girl and stood in front of a taxi whose passengers were still paying and knocked on his glass to ask if he'd take my mom to the airport. It took 15 minutes- mind you this is New York where yellow cabs inhabit every street. -_-
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Maturity is not Derived from Concept
Whenever someone comes to visit me in New York, I am very hesitant to see them because I know when their trip comes to a close, I will feel an impending sense of loneliness. In a way I have the 'Will Hunting' defense mechanism- pushing people away to avoid having to acknowledge the loss of their presence.

Half an hour prior to the time my mom would have to take a taxi to the airport, she offered to peel an orange for me to eat. When she said that my eyes started to well up and I had to shut myself in the bathroom to fight the tears away. As I said in my previous post, I have become so independent, gestures like this, makes me happy. When my mom was over she helped vaccuum the floor, put away a few things and paid for things and I felt so extremely grateful to have her around for a while. I miss being able to rely on someone at times.
I considered asking my cousin to bring her homework and sleepover to numb that loneliness since my mom flew back to Toronto. In this case, I choose loneliness because I know it is critical for me in order to mature is to understand loneliness chosen.

While trying to find a better cell phone plan online, I recalled the first two months of my freshmen year at Parsons. When my cell phone bill arrived in my mailbox, I didn't understand how to read the bill and why it was over $100, when I hardly talked on the phone and when I visited the store to ask they gave me a lot of attitude and confused me even more and made me pay a $5 service charge to pay my bill. I cried out of frustration because I didn't understand anything.

You do not truly understand nor mature until you live away from home. Though I am not independent from my parents' financially, I am in the other areas of life. I pay my own electric/gas/internet/tv/cell phone bills, deal with rent and property management, school tuition fees, clean and maintain the apartment, laundry, buy groceries, and cook. I keep a record of the money I spend on food per semester- I told my mom today and she seemed a little surprised. And I do not think I will really learn the value of a dollar until I start working.

In the past, people gave me advice on how to deal with loneliness, dating, living independently,connecting with other Christians and church. They quoted books yet somehow cannot themselves, apply this material to their own lives that they so freely give to others. All they have are concepts and little experience. They boldly declare what OTHERS say yet when it comes to application, have little personal stories to back it up. They are like cooks reading recipe books and recommending a fellow colleague to try the 'butternut squash soup' without having tried it themselves. Would you not follow a recipe unless someone tested it and said it was good? Personally since I'm living on my own, I have been asking my mom and a few of my friends who like to cook to recommend me certain tried and true recipes that are easy to make but good to taste. I do not try recipes that people tell me are good which have not been tried because I can easily go on kraftcanada.com and pick any random recipe and it would be the same.
Although I do not read as many self help/Christian/theology books because let's face it, I am just not interested and don't have the time. However my blog consists mostly of what I myself have experienced and little of what others say. I do not want a blog that consists of endless quotes of what others say and I admittedly at times, dislike reading people's blogs that are full of endless italicized quotes by published works. Because if I wanted to know what the author said pertaining to that certain subject, I would go and read what he/she wrote. Give me your side of the story, what you thought of it, how it transformed your life. I want to know how you feel about it, what you think about it, how it applies to your own story. Testimonies are not built upon what a certain author said on a certain concept. They are built upon real life experiences and personal stories. Reading the Bible cannot be replaced by Christian books because books can only give you a certain viewpoint on a certain topic. The Bible is open for interpretation- five people can read the same passage and get five totally different viewpoints from it.
I do, on the other hand, try not to overlook the importance of a foundation which can be built by books in order to give me guidance. The dating book was most interesting and I actually tried doing what he recommended. And now when I look back in meeting Sammy, the more I admire him for his understanding of self worth despite having very little to show for it- he was not afraid of rejection.
I see many Will Huntings in people- they can give a clever, bulls*** answer to anything and everything in life and the universe yet are too scared themselves to do anything. They can spew out advice and guidance without understanding what the other person is going through because they themselves have not experienced it. They cling to their books and give their two cents according to what an esteemed author writes yet refuse to listen to the advice of others. They know formulas yet are too afraid to test them. All they know is what other people have written on similar experiences yet have not gone out and lived it.

I'm waiting.