Gifts, Lovers and Desires
The gift of writing is such an ordinary gift yet so powerful. Each word we choose to use can have the slightest impact on how others perceive our thoughts, our character etc. It can set tone or convey some kind of impression. So choose your words wisely.
Allie told me the other day she went to class with sneakers on, and this French guy called Constantine spoke in french to his friend and told her to look at allie's shoes... sacre bleu! They were sneakers! Who wears sneakers at Parsons? She knows french. Then they had a nerve to ask for a pen later on. Bonnie and I told Allie she should have said 'Pardonez moi, je n'ai pas une stylo' (oh crap I've forgotten all my french too. Is meant to translate into 'sorry, I do not have a pen'). Hahaha
Yay did updates on my deviant art and imagestation again. I found a couple of old grade 8 grad pics... so old... I also found one of Robyn too. :P
Update on my dad: the doctor said he should be fine by the time he comes to new york... he still can't see through his right eye though.
I'm excited for my next Critical Reading and Writing paper in which we have to focus on a gender and racial object/issue. He told us today that we needed an object that preferably was:
1) from our family
2) personal object
3) showed some kind of gender/racial perception
Which is so perfect because on the first day of class, I read the syllabus and I instantly thought of doing my grandmother's wedding garment. So I am really excited for this next essay. So nerdy eh? But I like to write.
There's something about that garment which makes it so personally special to me. Because I can't really communicate with my grandmother verbally, this way of looking through her old clothes, sort of forged some kind of connection between her and I. My mother said she was very happy that I'd wear her clothes and that they had been put to good use instead of lying around in bags at their old house.
There's also this desire within me to scrounge up what I can of my family tree. I wish more than anything to see that family tree book that traces my lineage back to the Song Dynasty in which my uncle was the Emperor. But sadly, it may have been lost when the Cultural Revolution took place. Sigh. I wish they kept all their old things so I could keep them as heirlooms. I remember my grandmother also told me one of my ancestors was the Prime Minister and was rescuing a boy or something and fleeing a certain part of China.. he became so stressed that all his hair turned white.hahaa...
Sometimes it's hard to be strong for others. like my roommates who so dearly want boyfriends. There's not one day when they're wistfully saying how much they want another person in their life.. bonnie mentioned yesterday at dinner that whenever she sees that japanese guy with his new girlfriend (he asked her out on valentines' day.. please if I ever have a future boyfriend.. do not ask me out on Valentine's day), she becomes bitter and 'jealous' (not in the entirely negative way). I want to tell them all that they're beautiful and talented and incredibly smart- that they can be whole without that someone in their life. But I usually don't say anything when they're talking to each other about it. But it's hard for me to encourage them sometimes because I know whatever I say, will not really 'help' their situation. I don't want them to rush into relationships as one has already done. I think he was a jerk. But one thing that separates them from me, is that I have never been liked by someone (that I am aware of) yet Allie has had four boyfriends before she came here and Bonnie had an interest in someone who liked her and a few other guys too.
I want to let every girl know that she's beautiful just as she is. It saddens me to hear that Bonnie wants a nose and eyebrow job... to hear that Stacy diets and works out to be skinny when I can tell you, she's extremely slender.. To hear Tania question why she isn't beautiful...I think their physical features are already perfect. But who am I to say all of this when I complain about myself? Nevertheless..
Haha.. I was watching a show today and the guy said "why can't I be beautiful like so many people? Oh well if I was, I'd probably have died from AIDS by now. And I'd probably be really shallow with a lot of hot and shallow friends. And I'd probably wouldn't have the brain I'd have today to have gotten into the fashion industry. Yet why do I envy beautiful people?"
I've probably mentioned this before, but I've always wanted to be Caucasian (before). Now I am happy with my ethnicity because it's so incredibly rich and wonderful- unlike American history which is shallow in comparison. hahaha... I'm enchanted by our culture and traditions. I'm sorry that I probably will not be able to pass on such traditions to my children one day.
I can't stand touchy-feely couples such as that Japanese guy and his girlfriend, who ever since made it official, cannot keep their hands off each other... they're always holding hands- even at class as Bonnie told me and at the caf when we're all down there eating. Public displays of affection....
Today at Critical reading and writing, I had to analyze a Cosmopolitan magazine. When I was about 13/14 I was fascinated by that magazine (no I never read it save the embarrassing moments articles). But today I was leafing through the hilary duff and EVERYTHING has sexual connotations and how to get a guy, satisfy a guy etc. Even in the fashion section 'Ruffles: want to give your guy whiplash' or 'floaty summer dresses which by the way, show l-o-t-s of skin'. What a disgusting magazine: the entire thing is centered around sex. On the front it said 'topless guys: you've never seen before!!!! (because only cosmo would do this)'. How sad. Mb it's because I do life drawing which makes a difference. Then again, go to any beach or pool and you can see an array of topless men there. In such magazine, women are portrayed as active persons rather than passive in how they go about luring guys.
I also can't stand it when Vogue or some style magazine says 'white is the new black'. Today I was reading an article which I thought was going to be about the effects of global warming on the fashion industry (psh it was just an intro. it was disappointing) and the writer said 'fall is the new spring'. I despise it when they say things like that. It sounds really cheesy.
There's this guy I dislike in my class. At a glance he is good looking in a way but he's very egoistical and rude. No one in my class likes him either. The other week, my friend and I were examining someone's work and he just snatches it from us while we were still looking at it. Another day, I was waiting in line to talk to the teacher, and he just butts in. He boasts that he works out and watches his diet when it doesn't even show (whenever he lifts his arms up, his shirt goes up, giving us all an eyeful of his torso area... ahhhh). So yeah. Now I feel mean for saying all this but it's true.
I am proud to say I know how to work a scroll saw- from taking the blade out to controlling and maneuvering the machine. Yay. I really like the bandsaw though.. it's my favourite although it's extremely loud and just the other day, our neighbour sliced a part of her finger and had to go to the hospital. It gives a lot of control though.
I think this following passage explains some of the feminist issue and others concerning beauty.
1 corinthians 10:11-12
10Don't, by the way, read too much into the differences here between men and women. 11Neither man nor woman can go it alone or claim priority. Man was created first, as a beautiful shining reflection of God--that is true. But the head on a woman's body clearly outshines in beauty the head of her "head," her husband. 12The first woman came from man, true--but ever since then, every man comes from a woman! And since virtually everything comes from God anyway, let's quit going through these "who's first" routines.
This famous passage, translated into the Message, is always a constant reminder especially for someone like me who is so driven by aesthetic beauty. Matthew 6:
27"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? 28All this time and money wasted on fashion--do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, 29but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best--dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them...33Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
Another reason for my decision to go into fashion and sustainability is because I've read so many passages within the bible that warns us not to 'suppress' others. I have no idea how this is going to work but when producing textiles, I'd want them from fair trade organizations.... perhaps one day visiting a third world country and setting up a factory there which pays fairly and produces organic materials. Sigh. You see, I have vision. It's just that I don't feel as if I am skilled enough to do all of this. I am also afraid that this is just something that I want, and not a God-given desire. I don't want this to be a pursuit of self interest although it is for the better good of others. I want this to be a God-given passion because then I have His blessing and can go far in this life. You see, it is so true in what the book says about women. One of their fundamental desires is to be part of some grand adventure in which they play an important role. And I want to find mine.
Allie told me the other day she went to class with sneakers on, and this French guy called Constantine spoke in french to his friend and told her to look at allie's shoes... sacre bleu! They were sneakers! Who wears sneakers at Parsons? She knows french. Then they had a nerve to ask for a pen later on. Bonnie and I told Allie she should have said 'Pardonez moi, je n'ai pas une stylo' (oh crap I've forgotten all my french too. Is meant to translate into 'sorry, I do not have a pen'). Hahaha
Yay did updates on my deviant art and imagestation again. I found a couple of old grade 8 grad pics... so old... I also found one of Robyn too. :P
Update on my dad: the doctor said he should be fine by the time he comes to new york... he still can't see through his right eye though.
I'm excited for my next Critical Reading and Writing paper in which we have to focus on a gender and racial object/issue. He told us today that we needed an object that preferably was:
1) from our family
2) personal object
3) showed some kind of gender/racial perception
Which is so perfect because on the first day of class, I read the syllabus and I instantly thought of doing my grandmother's wedding garment. So I am really excited for this next essay. So nerdy eh? But I like to write.
There's something about that garment which makes it so personally special to me. Because I can't really communicate with my grandmother verbally, this way of looking through her old clothes, sort of forged some kind of connection between her and I. My mother said she was very happy that I'd wear her clothes and that they had been put to good use instead of lying around in bags at their old house.
There's also this desire within me to scrounge up what I can of my family tree. I wish more than anything to see that family tree book that traces my lineage back to the Song Dynasty in which my uncle was the Emperor. But sadly, it may have been lost when the Cultural Revolution took place. Sigh. I wish they kept all their old things so I could keep them as heirlooms. I remember my grandmother also told me one of my ancestors was the Prime Minister and was rescuing a boy or something and fleeing a certain part of China.. he became so stressed that all his hair turned white.hahaa...
Sometimes it's hard to be strong for others. like my roommates who so dearly want boyfriends. There's not one day when they're wistfully saying how much they want another person in their life.. bonnie mentioned yesterday at dinner that whenever she sees that japanese guy with his new girlfriend (he asked her out on valentines' day.. please if I ever have a future boyfriend.. do not ask me out on Valentine's day), she becomes bitter and 'jealous' (not in the entirely negative way). I want to tell them all that they're beautiful and talented and incredibly smart- that they can be whole without that someone in their life. But I usually don't say anything when they're talking to each other about it. But it's hard for me to encourage them sometimes because I know whatever I say, will not really 'help' their situation. I don't want them to rush into relationships as one has already done. I think he was a jerk. But one thing that separates them from me, is that I have never been liked by someone (that I am aware of) yet Allie has had four boyfriends before she came here and Bonnie had an interest in someone who liked her and a few other guys too.
I want to let every girl know that she's beautiful just as she is. It saddens me to hear that Bonnie wants a nose and eyebrow job... to hear that Stacy diets and works out to be skinny when I can tell you, she's extremely slender.. To hear Tania question why she isn't beautiful...I think their physical features are already perfect. But who am I to say all of this when I complain about myself? Nevertheless..
Haha.. I was watching a show today and the guy said "why can't I be beautiful like so many people? Oh well if I was, I'd probably have died from AIDS by now. And I'd probably be really shallow with a lot of hot and shallow friends. And I'd probably wouldn't have the brain I'd have today to have gotten into the fashion industry. Yet why do I envy beautiful people?"
I've probably mentioned this before, but I've always wanted to be Caucasian (before). Now I am happy with my ethnicity because it's so incredibly rich and wonderful- unlike American history which is shallow in comparison. hahaha... I'm enchanted by our culture and traditions. I'm sorry that I probably will not be able to pass on such traditions to my children one day.
I can't stand touchy-feely couples such as that Japanese guy and his girlfriend, who ever since made it official, cannot keep their hands off each other... they're always holding hands- even at class as Bonnie told me and at the caf when we're all down there eating. Public displays of affection....
Today at Critical reading and writing, I had to analyze a Cosmopolitan magazine. When I was about 13/14 I was fascinated by that magazine (no I never read it save the embarrassing moments articles). But today I was leafing through the hilary duff and EVERYTHING has sexual connotations and how to get a guy, satisfy a guy etc. Even in the fashion section 'Ruffles: want to give your guy whiplash' or 'floaty summer dresses which by the way, show l-o-t-s of skin'. What a disgusting magazine: the entire thing is centered around sex. On the front it said 'topless guys: you've never seen before!!!! (because only cosmo would do this)'. How sad. Mb it's because I do life drawing which makes a difference. Then again, go to any beach or pool and you can see an array of topless men there. In such magazine, women are portrayed as active persons rather than passive in how they go about luring guys.
I also can't stand it when Vogue or some style magazine says 'white is the new black'. Today I was reading an article which I thought was going to be about the effects of global warming on the fashion industry (psh it was just an intro. it was disappointing) and the writer said 'fall is the new spring'. I despise it when they say things like that. It sounds really cheesy.
There's this guy I dislike in my class. At a glance he is good looking in a way but he's very egoistical and rude. No one in my class likes him either. The other week, my friend and I were examining someone's work and he just snatches it from us while we were still looking at it. Another day, I was waiting in line to talk to the teacher, and he just butts in. He boasts that he works out and watches his diet when it doesn't even show (whenever he lifts his arms up, his shirt goes up, giving us all an eyeful of his torso area... ahhhh). So yeah. Now I feel mean for saying all this but it's true.
I am proud to say I know how to work a scroll saw- from taking the blade out to controlling and maneuvering the machine. Yay. I really like the bandsaw though.. it's my favourite although it's extremely loud and just the other day, our neighbour sliced a part of her finger and had to go to the hospital. It gives a lot of control though.
I think this following passage explains some of the feminist issue and others concerning beauty.
1 corinthians 10:11-12
10Don't, by the way, read too much into the differences here between men and women. 11Neither man nor woman can go it alone or claim priority. Man was created first, as a beautiful shining reflection of God--that is true. But the head on a woman's body clearly outshines in beauty the head of her "head," her husband. 12The first woman came from man, true--but ever since then, every man comes from a woman! And since virtually everything comes from God anyway, let's quit going through these "who's first" routines.
This famous passage, translated into the Message, is always a constant reminder especially for someone like me who is so driven by aesthetic beauty. Matthew 6:
27"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? 28All this time and money wasted on fashion--do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, 29but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best--dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them...33Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
Another reason for my decision to go into fashion and sustainability is because I've read so many passages within the bible that warns us not to 'suppress' others. I have no idea how this is going to work but when producing textiles, I'd want them from fair trade organizations.... perhaps one day visiting a third world country and setting up a factory there which pays fairly and produces organic materials. Sigh. You see, I have vision. It's just that I don't feel as if I am skilled enough to do all of this. I am also afraid that this is just something that I want, and not a God-given desire. I don't want this to be a pursuit of self interest although it is for the better good of others. I want this to be a God-given passion because then I have His blessing and can go far in this life. You see, it is so true in what the book says about women. One of their fundamental desires is to be part of some grand adventure in which they play an important role. And I want to find mine.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home