I Miss You.

Click to enlarge.

I knew how to say this in Mandarin, ironically, but couldn't remember the Canto translation till I asked my parents. Whether or not I spelled it out correctly is not really an issue, but I just found the analogy amusing: to miss someone in Canto is to 'hook' them 'up' almost like a jacket on a coat hanger hence this is the outcome of my one hour flight from Toronto to Manhattan.

I do miss you. Wo shang ni.

But I guess, it's time to move on and look ahead at relationships here, setting aside all those I've just temporarily left.
You've probably gone ahead while I'm still trailing behind.
I want to be free of you as you are of me, Count of Monte Cristo.
But I gather that all that I miss is just an idea of a person who does not physically exist.
As Aragorn said, it is but a shadow and a thought that you love.

I know this formula too well: caring more than I ought to for someone, realizing nothing will happen, pack my bags both in the disappointment and hopes that my companions, Time and Distance, would sever these ties so that when we meet again, I'll feel nothing.
I know that it'll never be the same as before.

He asked me while we were hanging out last week, why I seem to have so many problems with moving because he had friends who loved the nomadic lifestyle and didn't have any qualms about it. I don't know, I wish I did: I've never loved it but at the same time, I don't hate it either. Though I say I don't feel like I belong to any country, at the same time I am proud to say that I am a citizen of three.
I didn't shed any tears this time to my relief.


Sorry for all the vagueness, I talk in 'code' when I don't want people to know exactly what I'm saying in the fear of either being too vulnerable and others taking advantage, or people being afraid of what I truly want to say.