% Introspection-ettes

% So Valentine's Day reminders are popping up everywhere thanks to good ol' Hallmark, Walmart and just about every cookie cutter corporation in every cookie cutter suburbian mall here in Toronto. They're painting the town in bloody red.
Anyway, Teen Vogue decide to celebrate via a 'Valentines Day' photo spread featuring an actor with some unknown model and as usual the clothes are tailored to girls which are extremely quirky and I know when guys see this shoot, they must draw a blank. I like the menswear they feature in the editorial except if I ever saw a guy wear that in reality- that'd probably mean he's gay.
Then again the following hoodie/tie/vest/shirt combo looks good in the many shades of red:
Psst I also like her glasses with hat. :P


% So trying to make best of my situation as of now, I got a new pair of glasses: because if I'm stuck with glasses at least for the next while, I need another pair to work with (also as a spare if I break the first). Though I am not really a logical person, my approach in design is a little more on the rational side. Since my existing pair was in the style of last season's (yeah I know that sounds frivolous) thick plastic fob rims, I wanted something that obstructed my eyes less but maintained a certain shape.
I ended up with a pair of Dolce and Gabbana's (Can you spell gabbana?)<- devil wears prada reference :P:
Frameless: because my other pair has a dark frame, frameless would allow less obstruction on the face and eyes (and eye makeup if I choose to apply)
Thin 'arms': These had really cool aerodynamic-esque arms in silver and black. The arms look like swoops and since it doesn't hug the ears, it looks like some futuristic design element. Yeah, I'm a sucker for these things and so is my dad since he liked that pair over all the rest.
Rectangular lenses: I think the most important feature for glasses since my face looks like a horse, meaning that it's really long, therefore to counteract the verticality of my face, a horizontal line must be 'drawn' across my face to balance it out: this is also the reason why I have bangs which was to divide my face in half to make it appear shorter than it really is and these glasses make my face look wider than it really is. It's all about optical illusions and making people see what you don't have. hahaha. See, I told you my thought process in design was extremely rational. :P

% I want some colour in my wardrobe, except all the stores are still in their grey/black/white phase so it's becoming a little depressing. I saw a pair of neon pink heels in HK and I wanted them so bad despite my usual distaste for neons, but thanks to those puny HK girls, they only went up to size 8. I shake my fist at you all.
Btw, cobalt blue and paintbox colours are coming in (if you're interested. :P No I don't study trends, there are actual professional fashion trend forecasting sites up).

% The suburbian cookie cutter stores are driving me up the wall: don't people get bored of Home Depot, Canadian Tire, Walmart, Guess, Le Chateau and Aldo??? It's like when a new strip mall pops up, these are the constants in the equation. Perhaps it's because I've been in HK and NY too long to notice the mundanity of the stores here. But it baffles me to see that people don't get bored because when people get together, they either go eat or shop: and if the shopping is all the same, how is that not boring? Also the prices are psychotic here (cuz there's also tax to consider which is not a problem in HK and slightly in NY if I ever buy anything over $110 which is really rare). I was at Le Chateau today, saw a blue shirt with this really neat back cut but dropped it at the sight of the $60 price tag: $60 for a frickin JERSEY shirt?? I may have bought it if I wasn't in fashion since I would be ignorant to the fact that jersey is crap material and wears easily.
I must retreat into my Value Village sanctuary, mothballs and all. :P

% What hurts the most was being so close,
And having so much to say and watching you walk away,
And never knowing what could have been.

% I was hanging out with Rin the other day who asked me about the seeming disparity between who I am on my blog and who I am in person. Ironically my closest friends are the ones who I am the most disconnected with and who have hung out with me the least. The reason why my blog sounds so doom and gloom at times while I, in person, seem really happy, is not because I'm depressed or mentally ill or have split personalities, but because being the unconfrontational person I am, I use my blog to channel all my anger and hurt into as well as record all abstracted secrets. It's not healthy in a way but it helps me to deal with resentment without blathering out nonsense in a fit of rage to the other person or saying something I'd regret later on. For me to angrily tell someone to 'shut up' is pretty extreme already: my mom once told me in grade five that I shouldn't bottle up my emotions because I'd explode one day. So what I've become is a bottle stuffed with a sponge soaked in water: when someone hurts me, I soak it in and let it slowly desaturate until it becomes almost nothing. The blog is a sponge, my words the water which allow me to digest and analyze the situation without having to talk to anyone.
It's probably why, growing up, I was always the one being bullied.
I'm not trying to make a victim out of myself but I've been made fun of many times and since people say I'm 'sensitive', it's even more of a reason why I DON'T confront the person in my fear that it's actually my fault for taking things too seriously.

Also I'm slightly a people-pleaser therefore I try not to anger them though they may really annoy me. I told this to Andrew before, but I hate shopping with people who don't shop and when walking through stores or malls, if I see something I like, I'll mentally take note of it and return later alone. I rarely shop with my parents because I hate people following me. I hate having people to wait for me therefore I'd rather accomodate them than accomodate myself.

So when you see me in person, all smiles, it's not because I'm putting up a front, it's because I am extremely happy to see you. Since I don't see many of you that often, to see friends who I only talk to over the internet, makes me extremely giddy.