A Week of Events// Trust Based on Touch

Kevin and Angie at Edwards Garden. I love this picture for the saturated colour, the silence and space and nothingness beyond the relationship between these two people which is highlighted by the silhouette faces- stark contrast between the whiteness of the pavement.

Hello, blog.
It's been ten days since I've written here.
So much has happened and it's all a blur.
But today marks one week since I've been back.

The reason why I stopped blogging for a period of ten days was because I wanted to write a thank you email to everyone who showed up/helped at my surprise party yet someone still hasn't given me their email addresses so I can't 'resist' writing in here before my memory slips away.

Just when I thought the festivities ended that Sunday- little did I know something big was going to happen on the Thursday- a day after my arrival.
The surprise party was pretty funny- partially of my own doing. In my eagerness to go to FMP and drink bubble tea, there was no resistance on my behalf when my mom took me out to distract me while the 'executive team' snuck in to inflate balloons and festoon the staircase with streamers.
To sum it up I was extremely surprised (note the beet red face in 80% of the pictures) and yet again humbled to the ground. The little things do truly speak volumes to me: from Robyn and Bobby who were washing all the dishes to Steve and Joseph cooking (awwwww) to Alex Chow who conceived of the idea and Angie who actually realized the event to Alex who baked cookies to the girls who gave me gifts and cards to Will and Matt who took out the big guns (aka their SLRs) and gave me a cd of the pictures.
What a great way to start my summer holiday back at home. :)

I got to see my entire family on Sunday evening for dinner at the Metropolitan Hotel where we crassly spoke really loudly as if we were in any other Chinese restaurant with $35/bowl shark fin soup. For dessert we basically ordered one of everything and decided to share the last raspberry mousse cake which we decided to screw the dividing and everyone had their forks up and massacred the entire thing. I'm not sure if it was because we hadnt seen each other in a while but it was one of the most fun times I've had with them in a while. We've planned to see the last installment of POTC together (it has become a tradition), go to Spencers by the water- a rather nice glass restaurant overlooking the lake in Burlington, have afternoon tea at the Old Mill Inn this Saturday (and then watch POTC) and celebrate my 10 year old cousin's birthday with an anime night and tiramisu (yes the one I make).

Then I got to see my best friend and watch Shrek 3 which I personally thought was the best out of the three. And had a productive afternoon since I learned the hirigama alphabet orally and my numbers from 1-10. :P
My gift to Angie.


And then there was Phantom and Angie's Photoshoot yesterday. I have little to say on the first partially because that has become somewhat of a blur to me- Colm Wilkinson still makes the best phantom and I will try to erase memories of Raoul's warbling.
The photoshoot- I believe- was quite a success. I slept till 1pm today- I think the second time I've ever done this having to recuperate from the 1.5 days of making a tiramisu and mango pudding, scrapbooking a card, wrapping the gift, taking pictures, uploading and editing pictures and sending pictures.
I am very much drained out but quite happy with the results of the photographs. I guess it was interesting trying to orchestrate a shoot with about five people in it which becomes difficult if one person grimaces- the shot automatically fails. It was also great to experiment with men in the picture- I've only photographed females- this shoot being the sixth I've done.
Angie and Ayrine


When I can sit somewhere with someone, be comfortable in utter silence and be fulfilled- it's those friendships I cherish. So at Pacific Mall, I didn't need to have to say anything- I just trusted that all that was said in the past would suffice and words could just dissipate.
I talk a lot on msn- I mean, you can't sit there in silence and develop a relationship online based on nothingness. I always have to constantly be saying something to nurture the friendship to replace the absence of my physical presence- that physical presence I try to make up for with photographs. Yet photographs are a mere shadow of the living body.
And now when I meet up with them again, all I want to know and establish is of my physical being; being through eye contact, smiling (not the emoticon or LOL) or hugging, I do not feel the necessity to speak- for long is the message history and blog entries where trust is built on words and thoughts and ideas- but trust is also built on touch. 'Touch is about trust, allowing someone to care for you.'- I don't know why that one line in a newspaper article some four years ago has been imprinted into my head, but I think this year's theme really has been on trust in the physical sense- because I lack that so.
When you watch dramas based on lovers or couples, little is said between the two and a sense of the physical presence is heightened in the absence of dialogue. I guess that's why I love that first picture in this entry of the two of them- it expresses a sense of relation in silence. Silence often has negative connotations yet I think silence taken willingly and not by default, whoever said this, really is golden.

You said, "at the party [I was] all over people", and yet there were some people I've only talked to- they were only limited to ideas, intangible things and thoughts and I felt the need to have to hug them as a way of expressing gratitude for being there and to establish some sort of physical presence. Many of my relationships are horribly imbalanced where I trust the person based on what I say yet I can hardly look at that very same person in the eye when I meet them. Whenever I am introduced to someone new, I can't say a verbal "hi"- I have to either shake their hand or give them a hug for it implies a sense of affirmation and mutual trust which breaks down any walls of distance and instantly creates a bond between the person and I.

But it was a great conversation- 40% speaking and 60% silence- both thoughts realized verbally and the act of just sitting there watching people pass by, just knowing physical presence based on trust, was enough.