For the Love of Blog
Puahha... Coby is the darlingest little kid I have ever met. Robyn told me the following story:
So elaine was playing 'Open the Eyes of my Heart' in the car one day and didnt think the kids were really listening.. so the song got to the part where it repeats "open the eyes of my heart, Lord" over and over... and then out of nowhere coby screams and says, "i already DID!!!"
Psycho kid. haha.
Today I got to spend the afternoon with my dear friend the Concert Master, Lois Chung and Tania down at Loiser's new apartment at Yonge and Finch- very nice. Hahaha.. We went to eat then went to chill at her house by watching 'She's the Man'. I must admit it was pretty funny for an Amanda Bynes movie. And then Lois and I kicked Tania's butt in pool (lies!)- she did teach me how to get the balls in. hahaha.. and I got THREE OF THEM DOWN IN A ROW! Genius! Hahaha.. Lois cheated our way to win the second round. Oh Lois. Then we proceeded to go out for bubble tea at this really pretty restaurant/ bubble tea cafe.
I took the Viva home with Tania and decided to keep the New Yorker me in shape by walking home. It was so freaking hot outside. Yuck. It was only 15 minutes but I took a shower as soon as I got back. And them my dad was the 'cook' of the day and made us all bbq steaks and shrimp. It was so yummy.
Boys seem to stare as if they've never seen a pair of female legs before yet they're all over the billboards and magazines and tv shows. What is with their endless fascination?
Yesterday I read someone's blog which examined the reasons for people who blog. He wrote that some people blog to guilt trip others and some blog to tell people something indirectly and some people blog for attention and some (supposedly like him) blog for personal reasons and hopefully connect with others.
I blog for several reasons. Honestly, I blog for attention (only partially though). I can't lie. I like it that you're reading this right now. Hahaha. See, I'm also truthful. But that's how I get people to see deeper than what they see in person. No, it's not because I have some kind of facade to show but I don't find it natural to just reveal one's self at any given moment. This blog is a record of my self-talk (haha guess where I got that from) and my self reflection and was also written for someone to read (hence the reason I publish in the first place). But really I don't think any of the church people would have gotten any closer or deeper with me if it wasn't for this blog. Sad I know, but it's true. Yet what can you do with kids who are always moving/changing/living from one place to the next?
But I also use this blog to 'guilt trip' people. When I'm angry or sad, repulsed or furious, I know that I can't really argue or yell at specific people because I'm really irrational in those times. So by recording my thoughts on 'paper' I can figure out all the issues before I say something I'd regret later on. For me 'Anatomy of an Artist' is to find faults in others but also to find weaknesses in myself (haha I have found so many).
It's also a place for me to write different ideas, theories and issues down that I may not necessarily be able to say in person but can write down quite well. I have issues with remembering and regurgitating things so writing gives me the time I need to think things over and edit.
But I want to connect with people- and I think that's the fundamental reason for Anatomy of An Artist's existence. I want you to know me beyond the everyday; that Sam is a person who cares for things beyond appearances and all the wishy washy things we speak of every time. And hopefully through my efforts, be able to touch something within you and create deeper friendships. If all these things cannot be said in person, well then I'd rather do them over here. Some may say that it is sad that this generation of kids cannot talk one on one so this is my way of working around that. I strongly believe that if it wasn't for this site, I would not have had some of these friendships in the first place. Or at least as developed as they have come to be. If you ever came up to me and discussed these things, I would be more than happy to but conversations like these don't usually just come out of nowhere at any random occasion. So why wait when I can write them all down here? The past few weeks, a million thoughts have been flying through my head and I have to write them down because I keep forgetting.
I've come to love this blog very much because I can always go back into my archives and read into my past entries and remember the me when I was 17 back in UHS. It is literally like my diary- a journal (doesnt that sound more 'masculine' or gender neutral. Hahaha.. 'diary' has its feminine connotations. Funny).
You know what- I think I ultimately write for some human connection with others- the attention is much more of a side note thing. Do not be misled to think that the reason for my blog is for needy purposes.
Anyway, I'd like to write the maximum number of entries possible and print them all out for record. That'll kill a forest right there. Haha. I remember reading about this new book that just came out- a group of four girls passed around notebooks recording their experiences with guys, drugs, alcohol, sex etc and created a book. Why can't I do that with my blog? Oh yeah, because my experiences are not exactly the most exciting and are more reflective than adventurous in that sense. I'm not your average teenager, that's for sure.
So elaine was playing 'Open the Eyes of my Heart' in the car one day and didnt think the kids were really listening.. so the song got to the part where it repeats "open the eyes of my heart, Lord" over and over... and then out of nowhere coby screams and says, "i already DID!!!"
Psycho kid. haha.
Today I got to spend the afternoon with my dear friend the Concert Master, Lois Chung and Tania down at Loiser's new apartment at Yonge and Finch- very nice. Hahaha.. We went to eat then went to chill at her house by watching 'She's the Man'. I must admit it was pretty funny for an Amanda Bynes movie. And then Lois and I kicked Tania's butt in pool (lies!)- she did teach me how to get the balls in. hahaha.. and I got THREE OF THEM DOWN IN A ROW! Genius! Hahaha.. Lois cheated our way to win the second round. Oh Lois. Then we proceeded to go out for bubble tea at this really pretty restaurant/ bubble tea cafe.
I took the Viva home with Tania and decided to keep the New Yorker me in shape by walking home. It was so freaking hot outside. Yuck. It was only 15 minutes but I took a shower as soon as I got back. And them my dad was the 'cook' of the day and made us all bbq steaks and shrimp. It was so yummy.
Boys seem to stare as if they've never seen a pair of female legs before yet they're all over the billboards and magazines and tv shows. What is with their endless fascination?
Yesterday I read someone's blog which examined the reasons for people who blog. He wrote that some people blog to guilt trip others and some blog to tell people something indirectly and some people blog for attention and some (supposedly like him) blog for personal reasons and hopefully connect with others.
I blog for several reasons. Honestly, I blog for attention (only partially though). I can't lie. I like it that you're reading this right now. Hahaha. See, I'm also truthful. But that's how I get people to see deeper than what they see in person. No, it's not because I have some kind of facade to show but I don't find it natural to just reveal one's self at any given moment. This blog is a record of my self-talk (haha guess where I got that from) and my self reflection and was also written for someone to read (hence the reason I publish in the first place). But really I don't think any of the church people would have gotten any closer or deeper with me if it wasn't for this blog. Sad I know, but it's true. Yet what can you do with kids who are always moving/changing/living from one place to the next?
But I also use this blog to 'guilt trip' people. When I'm angry or sad, repulsed or furious, I know that I can't really argue or yell at specific people because I'm really irrational in those times. So by recording my thoughts on 'paper' I can figure out all the issues before I say something I'd regret later on. For me 'Anatomy of an Artist' is to find faults in others but also to find weaknesses in myself (haha I have found so many).
It's also a place for me to write different ideas, theories and issues down that I may not necessarily be able to say in person but can write down quite well. I have issues with remembering and regurgitating things so writing gives me the time I need to think things over and edit.
But I want to connect with people- and I think that's the fundamental reason for Anatomy of An Artist's existence. I want you to know me beyond the everyday; that Sam is a person who cares for things beyond appearances and all the wishy washy things we speak of every time. And hopefully through my efforts, be able to touch something within you and create deeper friendships. If all these things cannot be said in person, well then I'd rather do them over here. Some may say that it is sad that this generation of kids cannot talk one on one so this is my way of working around that. I strongly believe that if it wasn't for this site, I would not have had some of these friendships in the first place. Or at least as developed as they have come to be. If you ever came up to me and discussed these things, I would be more than happy to but conversations like these don't usually just come out of nowhere at any random occasion. So why wait when I can write them all down here? The past few weeks, a million thoughts have been flying through my head and I have to write them down because I keep forgetting.
I've come to love this blog very much because I can always go back into my archives and read into my past entries and remember the me when I was 17 back in UHS. It is literally like my diary- a journal (doesnt that sound more 'masculine' or gender neutral. Hahaha.. 'diary' has its feminine connotations. Funny).
You know what- I think I ultimately write for some human connection with others- the attention is much more of a side note thing. Do not be misled to think that the reason for my blog is for needy purposes.
Anyway, I'd like to write the maximum number of entries possible and print them all out for record. That'll kill a forest right there. Haha. I remember reading about this new book that just came out- a group of four girls passed around notebooks recording their experiences with guys, drugs, alcohol, sex etc and created a book. Why can't I do that with my blog? Oh yeah, because my experiences are not exactly the most exciting and are more reflective than adventurous in that sense. I'm not your average teenager, that's for sure.
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