Nothingness
Listening to: Only One, Yellow Card (best song ever but overplayed it. It's the only song I like from them so far)
It appears that so many people I know, have found their 'passion'.
Bonnie is passionate about Disney.
Tania is passionate about the environment and basketball
Julia is passionate about dance and modelling and New York City
Sam C. is passionate for God (in which I admire) and linguistics/teaching
Although some of the things above may seem trivial, the love for that particular thing spreads like wildfire when one person tells another. I think I've said this before, but Bonnie adores Disney. The best day of her life was when she got to enter private buildings where they housed original art from old animation films. And when she speaks of Disney, she gets excited, and something about how she describes Disney, draws everyone in. And that is what I want. To be so in love and enthralled in something, and having the ability to rub it off on people. My biggest fear is taking a wrong step. See, this thing I am doing at Parsons, I'm afraid that it's a 'twisted' sort of passion... like I dont know everything about the industry and I'm afraid that when I start studying it, it would lose that sense of magic and mystery and become dull and boring. I lose interest in things easily. I go crazy about something (ask tania) and then it dies down. Such an ENFP I am.
If I don't succeed here, I want to study photography. Or writing. One thing I love, is to write. However only when it comes to writing the things I want to talk about... more personal things. So I guess that's gotta go out the window in terms of careers.
I guess my love for personal 'deep' conversations is reflected in the way I take my photographs.
I love close up shots... like REALLY close up- capturing the texture and light/shadows of the object. I recently had to do a series of photographs on 'implied motion' so I took pictures of Bonnie with a mascara brush, about to apply lip gloss, abou to put on fake eyelashes.. and they turned out beautifully.. that tension and space between the instrument and a body part. I find close up shots draws a person in more just because we don't usually see life in that kind of 'lens'. Up close and personal: that's how I like my relationships to be.
Anyway I showed my digital design teacher the images, and he loved them: said they 'sexy' (which I found just a tad creepy?). So now I have to take more shots.
We are told to put God first in our life because we love him. But what if we don't love him to begin with. We are told to follow and obey his commands because we love him. But can we follow and obey his commands to find love in him? I dont know. We are told to do things out of our love for him. But what if you don't find that much 'love' in the first place? Or the discipline. I struggle with disciplining myself with devos. I don't want to rely on Christian books like Captivating to feed me information. And I've seen so many Christians fall... and it's discouraging to see that- especially those you remember being deeply committed to God. Like a good friend of mine in HK... we went church hunting and ended up at this canadian/chinese church together. When we parted ways, we kept in touch but slowly drifted. However she sent her friends a mass email and in the email she wrote 'fuck'. So I emailed her back to question her choice of diction and she told me that through hardships, she became discouraged, and doubted the existence of God.
And then there was this guy who I was friends with in Island School. I had planted the seed, and someone else watered it and harvested (according to his testimony to me). Well now I found out he's gay and off in Japan somewhere.
It's discouraging to find good friends fall away from God.
All three of my roommates have done so too. perhaps not Allie but Liz and Bonnie especially considering one was a pastor's daughter and the other a passionate Christian who slowly stopped going to church.
It's discouraging when people claim to be Christian and swear and bad mouth people... and there seems to be a lot of those around.
I forgot where I read this from, but there was a quote that went 'Going through crisis isn't hard. That's easy. It's the everyday life that pulls you down'. Oh yes I remember. I got it from 'Captivating'. Isn't it true? Parsons is making me really tired. I counted... five more weeks until Spring Break. Well I have been here for three weeks now so it shouldn't be so bad right?
Oh I remember glancing over the reading list at our church and one I could see was titled 'WANT TO WALK ON WATER?' and I was thinking "yes!" and in fine print it said "then get out of the boat". Touche.
It appears that so many people I know, have found their 'passion'.
Bonnie is passionate about Disney.
Tania is passionate about the environment and basketball
Julia is passionate about dance and modelling and New York City
Sam C. is passionate for God (in which I admire) and linguistics/teaching
Although some of the things above may seem trivial, the love for that particular thing spreads like wildfire when one person tells another. I think I've said this before, but Bonnie adores Disney. The best day of her life was when she got to enter private buildings where they housed original art from old animation films. And when she speaks of Disney, she gets excited, and something about how she describes Disney, draws everyone in. And that is what I want. To be so in love and enthralled in something, and having the ability to rub it off on people. My biggest fear is taking a wrong step. See, this thing I am doing at Parsons, I'm afraid that it's a 'twisted' sort of passion... like I dont know everything about the industry and I'm afraid that when I start studying it, it would lose that sense of magic and mystery and become dull and boring. I lose interest in things easily. I go crazy about something (ask tania) and then it dies down. Such an ENFP I am.
If I don't succeed here, I want to study photography. Or writing. One thing I love, is to write. However only when it comes to writing the things I want to talk about... more personal things. So I guess that's gotta go out the window in terms of careers.
I guess my love for personal 'deep' conversations is reflected in the way I take my photographs.
I love close up shots... like REALLY close up- capturing the texture and light/shadows of the object. I recently had to do a series of photographs on 'implied motion' so I took pictures of Bonnie with a mascara brush, about to apply lip gloss, abou to put on fake eyelashes.. and they turned out beautifully.. that tension and space between the instrument and a body part. I find close up shots draws a person in more just because we don't usually see life in that kind of 'lens'. Up close and personal: that's how I like my relationships to be.
Anyway I showed my digital design teacher the images, and he loved them: said they 'sexy' (which I found just a tad creepy?). So now I have to take more shots.
We are told to put God first in our life because we love him. But what if we don't love him to begin with. We are told to follow and obey his commands because we love him. But can we follow and obey his commands to find love in him? I dont know. We are told to do things out of our love for him. But what if you don't find that much 'love' in the first place? Or the discipline. I struggle with disciplining myself with devos. I don't want to rely on Christian books like Captivating to feed me information. And I've seen so many Christians fall... and it's discouraging to see that- especially those you remember being deeply committed to God. Like a good friend of mine in HK... we went church hunting and ended up at this canadian/chinese church together. When we parted ways, we kept in touch but slowly drifted. However she sent her friends a mass email and in the email she wrote 'fuck'. So I emailed her back to question her choice of diction and she told me that through hardships, she became discouraged, and doubted the existence of God.
And then there was this guy who I was friends with in Island School. I had planted the seed, and someone else watered it and harvested (according to his testimony to me). Well now I found out he's gay and off in Japan somewhere.
It's discouraging to find good friends fall away from God.
All three of my roommates have done so too. perhaps not Allie but Liz and Bonnie especially considering one was a pastor's daughter and the other a passionate Christian who slowly stopped going to church.
It's discouraging when people claim to be Christian and swear and bad mouth people... and there seems to be a lot of those around.
I forgot where I read this from, but there was a quote that went 'Going through crisis isn't hard. That's easy. It's the everyday life that pulls you down'. Oh yes I remember. I got it from 'Captivating'. Isn't it true? Parsons is making me really tired. I counted... five more weeks until Spring Break. Well I have been here for three weeks now so it shouldn't be so bad right?
Oh I remember glancing over the reading list at our church and one I could see was titled 'WANT TO WALK ON WATER?' and I was thinking "yes!" and in fine print it said "then get out of the boat". Touche.
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