Lean Wit it// Rin vs Sam// The Heart of the Matter// Dressing for the Masculine

Lean Wit It

The most awesome history of hip hop dance by Jabba (episode 7). Yes, I'm obsessed.

The other day I was about to leave the gym after jogging when 'Lean Wit it Rock Wit it' came on one of the television screens playing rap music.. so I just had to stay to run for another five minutes because Jabba danced to them in Ep 3. XD Yeah I'm a sucker for music to movies or dance hence my love for soundtracks.

My preferred music to listen to while working out is rap and hip hop. I know I resemble nothing like the urban, Bape-wearing person associated with this genre of music but I find it pumps up my adrenaline and makes me want to move with its strong beat. Unlike Jer who likes to listen to well written lyrics, I really don't care what they talk/sing about... it all ends up being the same stuff and their MVs are even worse.
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Rin vs. Sam

A conversation with Rin this Sunday evening as we talked about summer plans; I was trying to persuade her to come visit me:

§am: come to hk and ny!
Rin: hahaha i would LOVE to, but i'm booked haha
§am: oh puhlease 'booked': just cancel! so easy.
Rin:HAHAHA right....
§am: there will be some consequences but you know.. just deal with it
Rin: right right so if i made plans with you and then cancelled them, that would be okay? just for future reference
§am:HAR HAR
of course not beucase I am a real human being with thoughts and feelings. I'm not like a course which is a non entity and has no feelings. And no matter how hard you love this course, it will never love you back
Rin:....wow...that ACTUALLY has logic to it haha

XD
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The Heart of the Matter

I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I feel like I'm going through the motions of these lyrics.
I really thought I understood and grasped the concept but have I really?
I was able to move on once and twice and I can do it again.
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Dressing for the Masculine

I think I ought to talk about fashion since I rarely do.

I find myself, every year, going through a change/transition in my 'beliefs' and how I perceive the relations between the world and I. There's a saying that some people wear their "heart on their sleeve." I, in a similar fashion, wear what I believe through my wardrobe.
Looking back at what I wore last year, I was in love with the extreme feminine: Rococo, lace, frills, ruffles, high neck collars, Louis Vuitton Spring 08, early 19th century menswear, 1950's New Look in soft muted greys, creams and pastels.
I lived for myself, so to speak, in the idea that I dressed to please myself. I lived in my own bubble. My goal was to dress modestly in the most fashionable way possible that showed enough skin to look good without looking frumpy. Along the way, I impressed a bunch of girls, got featured in a couple fashionista blogs and got into Elle magazine.
That was great. That was exactly a year ago.

Now looking ahead, perhaps also from certain ideas I picked up along the road, my focus has turned elsewhere. During Spring Break I decided to clean out my closet. I realized last year during my Rococo phase, I discovered the greatness of thrift shopping but have now realized that the age of glorious excess really was just a lot of excess. A lot of stuff and all that stuff was making me stressed. Ever since I transitioned from this period of experimentation and feminine dressing, I've stopped buying so many clothes. Just looking at a bulging wardrobe, I realized, doesn't make me happy, it just makes me really stressed. Paradoxically, having that little space and that extra room to breathe makes me happier than having an extra four pairs of jeans. That empty space suggests to be filled and it pleases my imagination to know that there are possibilities which I have now noticed, do not have to be realized through the consumption of the tangible. It's why I have a blank white wall in front of my bed. It suggests the idea of being filled with pictures, a clothing rack or whatever I please, but the idea of blankness and the idea of limitless possibilities is even more exciting. Okay this is sounding like some philosophy on design and consumption. I've obviously been in Parsons too long. Back to my main point:

So with the articles of clothing I could not bear to donate because of the quality or some sentimental reason, I asked my cousin if she wanted them. It just so happened that she was going to her boyfriend's place for dinner so we had fun picking out an outfit that was more 'girly' since her boyfriend like girly girls while my cousin's a hippie/boho type of gal. She reported to me after the event that his eyes widened when he saw her and said "wow". Hahah I was as giddy and proud as a mother sending her daughter off to prom. Sad.

So as of this year, my focus in dressing is to dress more for the male audience.
I know what immediately must pop into your mind are bikinis, stilettos, mini skirts, booty shorts, midriff baring tops and bras. I know how you think. And obviously I don't want my head on the slaughtering plate. So I have my reasons.
I've been talking to a few guy friends who have told me they don't like frilly dresses- they like body skimming ones (for the obvious reasons). I noticed that how I dressed the last two years must be impossible to comprehend by male terms: suspender dresses, ruffled dresses, poet blouses, Louis heels. Not sexy that's for sure- nor was it my goal to look like any other girl in Toronto anyway. I remember Syd coming up to Robyn and I during Christmas Dinner 2006 and after looking at us, said, "why do girls who come back from New York look so weird?"
Looking back I know what he meant; I was wearing something inspired by Lemony Snicketts. Not the most normal thing.

I told my cousin this, she just said that she loves it when a girl dresses with modesty- with her own personal style.
Okay.. well I got that. My style last year was very theatrical.
So I told her that I was going to start dressing for guys.
She told me girls shouldn't dress to impress guys.
I told her that I already know I can dress for girls. That's really easy. The idea of dressing to impress guys is an interesting design challenge that I'd like to work with.
She somewhat agreed.

If you understand my argument, the fusion of my past style (the feminine) with elements that the male audience respond to, to create some sort of hybrid that pleases both while still retaining that air of modesty, is a fun sort of challenge. To streamline my way of dress without compromising style and individuality(aka American Eagle zombie). I like it. Just because I'm in this hip hop phase, I've become more interested in sportswear- actually because of both hip hop and the upcoming Olympics. I've developed somewhat of a sixth sense in trend forecasting (yep, what I wrote a few entries ago about asymmetrical dresses, art themed garments and bright colours... it was confirmed in this month's Harpers Bazaar.. I'm happy to know that I was right but sad to know that what I like is essentially what everyone now likes).
Anyway, yeah, this is the general direction that my wardrobe is headed for this year, keeping in mind that I have not closed off my aesthetic of the past. Right now I'm in a stage where I'm just wearing old clothes from high school/pre-New York... I've become a little tired of the drama. Denim, converse/boots and something with a hood will do me just fine.

The only problem I see in this realm are skirts and shorts. Due to my height which is not your average Asian girl, and my build which is not your average Asian waif/boy body, I always feel like I'm being scrutinized by the older generation.
I hate to say this but I have to pull the whole "but mom, everyone else is doing it" reason into play. When I was in HK I noticed all girls were wearing shorts and short skirts. It was a cultural fashion way of dress. The fob style entails cropped denim skirts and shorts with a t shirt on top. I know my explanation seems like a cop out, but this past Christmas I purchased a flippy wool skirt that when my mother saw on me was worried about its length (though I had tights underneath) until my grandmother walked in and said in Chinese "that skirt is cute" and then my mom didn't mention about the length after that.
Since this summer is not going to be a ballpark sweating in 35 degrees plus humidity, I actually want to wear shorts out of practicality's sake.

Okay it's 2:46am. This was a really shallow post at the same time not so. I dissected the entire direction of my closet. Yeah I think about how I dress- it's just a sample of how fashion history works. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be experimental. Oh well, it's been in my head for the past couple of days.