Grasping for the Past

I feel like there's so little time left to do anything with anybody. Last night I was lying in bed trying to remember what it was like when I was in New York after Tania left... When I was up by myself decorating and arranging things in my new apartment, blasting music, making baptism card and just talking to people on MSN because I was going to be home soon! And it's slipping through my fingers like turquoise beads. I can't grasp onto them any longer because I'm being pulled back to the present. I want it to be then- to feel that excitement and anticipation of going home. An adventure! Oh what would three months of summer have in store for me?


And it feels like it was way too short. Like I scraped the surface of all my church relationships that I've barely established and they all feel like they're standing on shaky foundations. How will I pick up the threads when I return in 3.5 months during Christmas? Who did I get to know well?
When I get back to New York, it's square one for me again. I have to find a church there. Start again.