I just dug up my old back up file cd with a ton of songs on it... they are so incredibly old.. from Savage Garden to like Britney Spears (Not yet a woman.. blah blah) and a torrent of memories just came running back.. How these songs have shaped my ideologies and views in life to just simple events that have taken place.
Am I not pretty enough? Is my heart too broken? Do I cry too much? Am I too soft spoken? Don't I make you laugh? Should I try it harder? Why do you see right through me?
I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me. I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break.
I crave, I love, I've waited long enough. I try as hard as I can.
Not Pretty Enough, Kasey Chambers
I remember the first time hearing this on the radio and it's a really... small song that no one really knows it. I felt that this song perfectly described me: my insecurities and uncertainties of how people felt or thought about me. I think especially my self-esteem. I remember in grade 9 and 10 whenever my school bus came across another bus, I'd hide my face because I was so ashamed. I remember in bethel, we had to write something to God and I compared myself with this girl from my school with dirt and cherry blossoms and my mom found it. And she asked me if I wrote it a long time ago, and I lied and said yes when in fact I wrote it just that night.
But I think my self-esteem has strengthened over time... I think with the help of a friend who's always been telling me how beautiful I am. And I guess over time, you see those people who you thought at first glance was extremely pretty, but as you get to know them more, their physical beauty fades because of their arrogance and ignorance.
But I guess besides my physical attributes, I've always wondered if I laughed too much or in a conversation, should I have made a comment or said something... or whether or not I was too soft spoken or just too loud. I'm always so uncertain, so afraid of what other people think. I think especially with guys because I have no idea how their brains work and how they react to incidents.
I'm already there. Take a look around. I'm the sunshine in your hair. I'm the shadow on the ground. I'm the whisper in the wind. I'm your imaginary friend. And I know I'm in your prayers. I'm already there.
-Already There, Lonestar
I don't think this has any relevance in my life but I was quite touched by the song. It was really sweet since it was a father speaking to his little boy on the phone and it's comforting to hear.
Never knew I could feel like this, like I’ve never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside your kiss. Everyday I love you more and more. Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing? Telling me to give you everything. Seasons may change, winter to spring. But I love you, until the end of time. Come what may. Come what may. I will love you until my dying day.
-Come What May, Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor
Hehe. This song... I remember falling in love with this song because of the lovely harmonization and just the sheer beauty of the lyrics and melody. And then of course there was the summer retreat where Karen, Andrew and I stayed up till 3-4am to rehearse just the first stanza and the chorus part for the musical we did. Our musical was awesome! haha... And that was the first time I ever sang in front of people by myself... yech.
I have other songs.. such as Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata... that is one of my favourite pieces because I can imagine soft diffused moonlight cast upon into a large open window and onto the frosted wooden floor. The sheer curtains billowing softly in the evening breeze... All is quiet. All is still save the lake outside, water quivers and bobs sleepily under the inky sky. I love that imagery... The beauty of non-vocal pieces is that you can interpret what the melody is saying and you can imagine different things that you take out from the piece.
Somewhere there's a river looking for a stream. Somewhere there's a dreamer looking for a dream. Somewhere there's a drifter trying to find his way. Somewhere someone's waiting to hear somebody say I believe in you. I can't even count the ways that I believe in you. And all I want to do is help you to believe in you.
-Believe in you, Amanda Marshall
Dang I can't find this song and I want it back! But I really like this song because it encourages me and reassures me that I'm not alone.
I'm so tired.. bleh... I can't believe it's only 1:30 and I feel so sleepy. This March Break I hope to get a bunch of stuff done as well as hang out with my friends.. woow... I remember last March Break was incredibly boring because there was nothing to do... ergh.. I wish it was like that now!
To do list (academics):
-Finish portfolio
-Finish Design Test (both for Ryerson. Done by Sunday/Monday and Purolated)
-Do Political Ideology essay (Monday....)
-Start and do half of World Issues Environmental Case Study essay (Wednesday)
-THINK about the two isps (all week)
-Get next illustration transferred onto board (puahaha.. this is never gonna happen)
-Study for the Europe map test which is on the following Thursday (All week when I have time and just want to put off other work)
To do list (social):
Philly game and Eatons with Raps crew(sunday)
Yorkdale Mall with AY crew (tuesday)
Fashion show with AY crew again (wednesday)
Crepes and Queen's street shopping (thursday)
Watch 'Les Choristes' avec ma mere (one of the days)
Do something with tania hopefully depending on academic situation on friday
Yup.. so busy schedule.. just like everyone else I suppose. :P Goodnight.
Am I not pretty enough? Is my heart too broken? Do I cry too much? Am I too soft spoken? Don't I make you laugh? Should I try it harder? Why do you see right through me?
I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me. I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break.
I crave, I love, I've waited long enough. I try as hard as I can.
Not Pretty Enough, Kasey Chambers
I remember the first time hearing this on the radio and it's a really... small song that no one really knows it. I felt that this song perfectly described me: my insecurities and uncertainties of how people felt or thought about me. I think especially my self-esteem. I remember in grade 9 and 10 whenever my school bus came across another bus, I'd hide my face because I was so ashamed. I remember in bethel, we had to write something to God and I compared myself with this girl from my school with dirt and cherry blossoms and my mom found it. And she asked me if I wrote it a long time ago, and I lied and said yes when in fact I wrote it just that night.
But I think my self-esteem has strengthened over time... I think with the help of a friend who's always been telling me how beautiful I am. And I guess over time, you see those people who you thought at first glance was extremely pretty, but as you get to know them more, their physical beauty fades because of their arrogance and ignorance.
But I guess besides my physical attributes, I've always wondered if I laughed too much or in a conversation, should I have made a comment or said something... or whether or not I was too soft spoken or just too loud. I'm always so uncertain, so afraid of what other people think. I think especially with guys because I have no idea how their brains work and how they react to incidents.
I'm already there. Take a look around. I'm the sunshine in your hair. I'm the shadow on the ground. I'm the whisper in the wind. I'm your imaginary friend. And I know I'm in your prayers. I'm already there.
-Already There, Lonestar
I don't think this has any relevance in my life but I was quite touched by the song. It was really sweet since it was a father speaking to his little boy on the phone and it's comforting to hear.
Never knew I could feel like this, like I’ve never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside your kiss. Everyday I love you more and more. Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing? Telling me to give you everything. Seasons may change, winter to spring. But I love you, until the end of time. Come what may. Come what may. I will love you until my dying day.
-Come What May, Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor
Hehe. This song... I remember falling in love with this song because of the lovely harmonization and just the sheer beauty of the lyrics and melody. And then of course there was the summer retreat where Karen, Andrew and I stayed up till 3-4am to rehearse just the first stanza and the chorus part for the musical we did. Our musical was awesome! haha... And that was the first time I ever sang in front of people by myself... yech.
I have other songs.. such as Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata... that is one of my favourite pieces because I can imagine soft diffused moonlight cast upon into a large open window and onto the frosted wooden floor. The sheer curtains billowing softly in the evening breeze... All is quiet. All is still save the lake outside, water quivers and bobs sleepily under the inky sky. I love that imagery... The beauty of non-vocal pieces is that you can interpret what the melody is saying and you can imagine different things that you take out from the piece.
Somewhere there's a river looking for a stream. Somewhere there's a dreamer looking for a dream. Somewhere there's a drifter trying to find his way. Somewhere someone's waiting to hear somebody say I believe in you. I can't even count the ways that I believe in you. And all I want to do is help you to believe in you.
-Believe in you, Amanda Marshall
Dang I can't find this song and I want it back! But I really like this song because it encourages me and reassures me that I'm not alone.
I'm so tired.. bleh... I can't believe it's only 1:30 and I feel so sleepy. This March Break I hope to get a bunch of stuff done as well as hang out with my friends.. woow... I remember last March Break was incredibly boring because there was nothing to do... ergh.. I wish it was like that now!
To do list (academics):
-Finish portfolio
-Finish Design Test (both for Ryerson. Done by Sunday/Monday and Purolated)
-Do Political Ideology essay (Monday....)
-Start and do half of World Issues Environmental Case Study essay (Wednesday)
-THINK about the two isps (all week)
-Get next illustration transferred onto board (puahaha.. this is never gonna happen)
-Study for the Europe map test which is on the following Thursday (All week when I have time and just want to put off other work)
To do list (social):
Philly game and Eatons with Raps crew(sunday)
Yorkdale Mall with AY crew (tuesday)
Fashion show with AY crew again (wednesday)
Crepes and Queen's street shopping (thursday)
Watch 'Les Choristes' avec ma mere (one of the days)
Do something with tania hopefully depending on academic situation on friday
Yup.. so busy schedule.. just like everyone else I suppose. :P Goodnight.
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