Just the Way You Are
Bruno Mars Just the Way You Are
This is such a good song to drive to on the highway... I can picture myself on the 401 (or was it 404?) to Newmarket for a sewing class... the sun setting as the tarmac gets dim.
This is probably a song that all girls would want to hear cuz I do.
Life is so strange. Last night I said goodbye to my cousins- exactly a year ago we met up in SF for our other cousin's wedding and we roadtripped all the way to Vegas. This year we met up in HK and chilled in Macau (wannabe Vegas). I just said goodbye to Jeannie, I will say hello to Betty in a few hours (she's on the plane from Shanghai as I write).
I don't know if life is just small or too big to comprehend. I was thinking about another friend in HK cuz I took Jeannie to this dessert place that friend and I usually order delivery. And on the way back to the subway we bumped into her. Small world. I can see all of Hong Kong from where I'm sitting and it feels so... conquerable. It doesn't feel big at all from a distance- you don't get sucked into the cavities of buildings or the maze of roads.
I'm indulging in the fact that I can be so... transient. It's settled (sort of) that I'm now officially going to LA. They messed up writing my name down (figures everyone spells it 'Samatha' at work) so I have to scan my passport in for them to get it changed. America, Canada and China. When I hear friends trying to get jobs sans visa or citizenship I can't help but feel a sense of... satisfaction that my job market search isn't confined to one place. Now I ought to register for an HK passport so I can get a China visa.
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So one of my fears came true- not for myself but a prediction I made of a friend if she lacked Christian support. It's one of the reasons why I had a falling out with another 'friend'- because I stood up for this particular one...in other words I 'foresaw' the future of what would occur if she didn't have a strong network of friends.. and after I spoke to her on the phone last night I can't help but feel like...'wise' in being able to understand human relationships.
I can't help but still feel... used. I don't think the friends really know because they were the ones who were taking and to them, everything is back to normal. Yet I as the giver, I can gauge the difference in the way we interact. Although they all came back, i don't know if I want to be a part of their lives anymore. One even told me that... that God told her to reconcile our friendship but she said she already did.
Apparently I wasn't informed? I forgave her but I'm not ready to really deal with where we left it off.
I must be the dumbest friend ever.
This is such a good song to drive to on the highway... I can picture myself on the 401 (or was it 404?) to Newmarket for a sewing class... the sun setting as the tarmac gets dim.
This is probably a song that all girls would want to hear cuz I do.
Life is so strange. Last night I said goodbye to my cousins- exactly a year ago we met up in SF for our other cousin's wedding and we roadtripped all the way to Vegas. This year we met up in HK and chilled in Macau (wannabe Vegas). I just said goodbye to Jeannie, I will say hello to Betty in a few hours (she's on the plane from Shanghai as I write).
I don't know if life is just small or too big to comprehend. I was thinking about another friend in HK cuz I took Jeannie to this dessert place that friend and I usually order delivery. And on the way back to the subway we bumped into her. Small world. I can see all of Hong Kong from where I'm sitting and it feels so... conquerable. It doesn't feel big at all from a distance- you don't get sucked into the cavities of buildings or the maze of roads.
I'm indulging in the fact that I can be so... transient. It's settled (sort of) that I'm now officially going to LA. They messed up writing my name down (figures everyone spells it 'Samatha' at work) so I have to scan my passport in for them to get it changed. America, Canada and China. When I hear friends trying to get jobs sans visa or citizenship I can't help but feel a sense of... satisfaction that my job market search isn't confined to one place. Now I ought to register for an HK passport so I can get a China visa.
----------------------------------------
So one of my fears came true- not for myself but a prediction I made of a friend if she lacked Christian support. It's one of the reasons why I had a falling out with another 'friend'- because I stood up for this particular one...in other words I 'foresaw' the future of what would occur if she didn't have a strong network of friends.. and after I spoke to her on the phone last night I can't help but feel like...'wise' in being able to understand human relationships.
I can't help but still feel... used. I don't think the friends really know because they were the ones who were taking and to them, everything is back to normal. Yet I as the giver, I can gauge the difference in the way we interact. Although they all came back, i don't know if I want to be a part of their lives anymore. One even told me that... that God told her to reconcile our friendship but she said she already did.
Apparently I wasn't informed? I forgave her but I'm not ready to really deal with where we left it off.
I must be the dumbest friend ever.
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