I Can't Think of a Title.

Monday:
-Sam woke up to go to eye doctor
-Picked up Robyn and ate at Tim Hortons- her second breakfast of the day which consisted of a donut and a carton of milk
-Then went to Bayview Village and and bought my mom $160 shoes at Davids. I brought one of the Value Village Salvatore Ferragamo red shoes to the store and told them this particular shoe was too big for my mom and the guy said it was a great quality classic and the new version retails at $360. He then gave us a free pair of insoles and 'ripped' out the sole and stuffed that padding in. Yay.
-Went to church to wait for dad to 'take a look at the expansion site' at RHCCC.
-Went to McD's to eat lunch and ended up giving mom the present because exchanges only within seven days of purchase (dumb).
-Went home and dealt with a ton of Parsons financial aid stuff and tax forms.
-Had photoshoot.
-Driving lesson on highway (For left turns: look left, left blindspot, look right, look left again. For right turns: look left, look right, right blindspot, left again. I can't look at so many things while turning. I just started flailing my head everywhere and started edging into the wrong lane).
-Had dinner at home and Robyn was still there because I had her cell phone hostage.
-Went to Walmart and got another pattern
-Kenny's. Dessert. (my mom just came in to lecture me about self control)


So today was a full day. When I wasn't taking pictures, I was eating. Hahaha.. seriously. Or driving.


Anyway I had Robyn as my model today and Grace did her make up (which you can see progressively fading as the day went on). I made her climb a six foot tree in her prom dress. HAHAHA. My parents were scared and Robyn was scared when she got up the tree via a tall wooden ladder I brought with me in the SUV. And she had to change in the car which was pretty funny. We did some pretty cool shots with a hula hoop, her Bunny and a few tennis balls. There was a dad and his daughter playing tennis and the dad was really verbally abusive.
We had some pretty good laughs though- funny shots of Robyn jumping in the air, trying to get some good air time shots and Grace trying to blow bubbles in the direction of Robyn but the wind decided to do the exact opposite and blow all the bubbles into the precious lens of my camera.

I'm finding fashion photography to be extremely fascinating but difficult as well. While portraiture focuses on making the person look 'nice' and it's very still and 'rigid' and sports photography is more about knowing the sport and knowing when to take the perfect shot (and not being afraid of getting hit whilst on the job), fashion photography focuses more on the exaggeration of the body, movement and the dynamic relationship between model and clothing. If you think getting a jump shot is easy, think again. In order to get a perfect shot of someone jumping in the air, the dress has to 'float' and 'fly' properly while the model cannot scrunch her face up, the hair can't get in the way nor the jewelry and each body part must be perfectly positioned right down to the fingertips. Not to mention the perfect angle, depth, composition, lighting etc.
Lighting I find is what sets one photograph from another. If you look at different advertisements you'll see one photograph with hazy diffused lighting and another with a black background and dramatic high contrast lighting (like many basketball ads with a player standing in the middle glaring at you). It sets the mood and the overall feel. It shapes perspective and how you see the object in a-well- different light (no pun intended).
Maybe it's difficult because I'm not a professional and have had no previous photography training. I'm just applying my fine art skills to create decent compositions. I've also noticed that you understand how confident a person is when a camera is stuck right in front of her face. I, the photographer, see the tiniest twitches to the tensing of muscles. And often I have to remind the person to relax their face because you'll see the knitting of the brows or the tense mouth. Fashion photography feels extremely awkward because everything is dramatized by weird and wacked poses and limbs must be stretched out in every direction to create a really great photo. It doesn't feel good but it looks awesome.
My next goal is to do group shots which are even more difficult because you have to be aware of the positions and gestures of each person and how they flow together to create a unifying composition.


I don't like telling people I'm going to be studying fashion design and sustainability. It's nice when people say they'd buy my clothes and all that stuff, but I really do not know much about the business or anything about it and I'm afraid of disappointing people. I've been reading a few articles and I dislike the fact that the media has much to do about how successful a designer is despite talent. If Anna Wintour, the most powerful fashion editor (Vogue), likes you OR your stuff, you'll be sure to get lots of the limelight. But if she doesn't, suck it up, you gotta make some pretty darn good stuff. That turns me off from the design aspect. But being a photographer means standing in a mosh pit of other photographers at the end of a runway all trying to get a great shot. And the fashion journalists must follow closely what the designers are doing and analyze it. And the designers must rely on media to get their stuff out. It's a power cycle.
So maybe fashion photography is for me but I like the art direction aspect too and I like writing but I'd like to give designing a shot.
-Art Director
-Fashion Photographer
-Fashion Designer
-Fashion Journalism
If one doesn't go well, I'm going to explore the next. I'm trying to examine what I love doing leisurely which seems to be more photography than the design aspect. Perhaps I wasn't built to design but make other people's designs look extraordinary in print. I think photos really make or break a piece of work.


Okay I know what Pastor Francis said the other day about going out and making friends with other church people and not sitting alone crying "I have no friends. I am so lonely." seemed very directed to me and as I sat there and squirmed because I knew some or someone would think of me. That's the negative side of personal blogging- people know your faults and when they're brought up in some indirect way they think of you.
I'm extremly passive when it comes to making church friends. I don't initiate anything- well I did before. I used to love going to Bethel and looked forward to it every Friday and going to CD Team. But I've realized Fridays and Sundays aren't enough to establish really great friendships at church. And if you've moved from church to church you get disheartened and don't really want to try anymore. So you just sit and watch and hope someone would talk to you or initiate something.
Sometimes when people initiate or try, it can be the best thing ever.
On Sunday I went inside and said hello to Pui Wing when he suddenly asked me about New York and school and what I thought of it. I spoke to him for a good ten minutes before Auntie Jo came and took over the conversation. It was nice though.
And I got to see Ruby which was great- in UHs I never really talked to her that much but now since we're all in university, it was interesting to see what everyone's been up to. I admire the fact that she wants to go into industrial design to create medical equipment- something that takes much research and being able to think in the shoes of the patient and medical team. I think that's extremely difficult after doing 3D design and listening to lectures of established graphic and product designers at Parsons. Very cool though. She gets much respect from me. :P
Anyway off on a tangent- I would not have attended any games if Andrew initially did not invite me to the practices. I think I feel more comfortable with the younger kids in some aspects- they're really dorky in a positive aspect. They don't try to look cool and all that and it makes me feel comfortable. I feel really awkward, uptight and tense around the university/college group. I'm not talented at taking sports photos like that professional softball photographer but I do really love taking pictures of the players on the stands because it captures the spirit of the team.
Yes there was no point to what I just said.


When people ask what I've been doing this entire summer- my mind seems to go blank. I didn't really do anything that stood out. I went to Quebec, hung out with friends, took photos, did this and did a little that. But all my days are filled. That's the advantage of being an art nerd- when you're bored you indulge in your creative whims which you never got to express back at school.


I really dislike it when girls seek affirmation from other girls or within their male counterparts. It's annoying and the reason I hate it is because I see much of that in myself. I don't want to care what other people think about me. Most of the time I'm not afraid of people judging me via my blog but I am when it comes to judging me through appearance. Not like I'd care if you thought my skirt was horrendous but I fear people making assumptions based on how people dress. Honestly, we all do that. We all have this pre-made idea of what a 'nerd' looks like or what a 'bimbo' looks like or what a 'jock' looks like. Sometimes we see someone who's well dressed, face caked with makeup or whatever and assume that the person isn't really academically smart and only focuses on appearance when she is actually really book smart.
And I just don't want appearances to hinder or allow people to make some false ideas of what I am like. You may say "oh I don't judge people by outer appearance. I like to get to know them before I make any assumptions." Everyone does and no one is exempted. They may be quick and fleeting thoughts, but they're still first impressions. It's hard to explain without sounding really self centred and without saying the f-word.
Hhaha I meant 'fashion'. I'm tired of writing it down and I'm sure everyone else is tired of hearing it. Now why do I even care if you're tired of it in the first place if I said I didn't care what people thought about what I wrote. I'm just trying to be considerate. :S


I think I overthink.