Chuen
It's officially Friday which marks the next two weeks of bliss.
I'll be on probation for eight months in total. It's a little ludicrous if you ask me- I feel like Jacob after realizing Leah wasn't Rachel, having to work another seven years for her hand in marriage.
This time last year girls from my small group came around, we had take out drunk man noodles and pad thai from Spice and watched Passion of Christ before going for Good Friday service. It seems only a fragile memory now.
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It's funny how everything works on God's timing. As Hybels puts it, if you write down the things that you pray for and look back upon it, you start to see ways in which God answers those requests.
I asked for a better job situation and two month later, received it. I get to travel to Korea every two to four months which I love because it's not excessive but enough to give me a change of scenery and a breath of fresh air once in a while without disrupting my social/church life.
I wanted to see sakura in Japan before I die (one of those silly lists you make for fun), and I will be going this Monday. However I am sad I won't be able to spend it with my cousin in Brooklyn Botanicals. Those are memories to be cherished.
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One of my favourite spaces in my apartment is the floor in the kitchen. It's tight but I can sit down and stretch my legs out until my feet hit the oven door. When waiting for cookies to melt, cakes to rise and crusts to solidify, my friend and I would sit to watch the oven work its magic and talk with our backs leaned against the fridge.
Yesterday while I was making cookies, a friend suddenly asked if I ever dated and concluded that I wasn't in a relationship because I look very 'chuen' in addition to my height which apparently makes one intimidating package.
This isn't the first time someone has called me 'chuen'. 'Chuen' kind of means stuck up without the snobbery. A month ago I was talking with a guy from church who mused at the end of our conversation that he didn't think I was interested in talking to him when we first met because I just looked "indifferent". I said maybe because I was just trying to gauge my surroundings rather than jumping in to avoid appearing overly eager. That same night, my aunt suddenly said I looked very "chuen" when I don't smile. I blame it on four years in NYC.
I am aware that I may have that unapproachable look partially because I don't like making eye contact with people especially when I'm trying to barrel down the sidewalk to get to a destination.
I really wonder how God will work in this area of my life. It's funny how He brings certain people who seem so much like the 'one' (I don't believe in that but for lack of a better word just take it as a brief social connection as opposed to the many possibilities of Mr.X) but there's always a big glaring 'NO' somewhere down the line.
I've always wondered why God doesn't just place the contentedness and fullness of being single in our lives and awaken the desire to be married when the right person comes along instead of all the wishful thinking, the confusion and stupid ideas. I mean, if He wants our total devotion, it would be A LOT easier if I wasn't thinking about so-and-so.
I thought what I did 1.5 years ago would make me lose all hope in order to place that hope in God (as opposed to people) yet to this day, I can't say that that has worked the way I thought it would. Dreams began surfacing lately, startling me enough to force myself awake. Initially I thought it was perhaps a sign from God that there'd be a future but after reflecting on the nature of the dreams, realized it was probably the work of the devil. At the same time I can't help but hope that we will someday meet again. I only dare to recall our introductions and trust God that if it pleases Him, to place us together, otherwise, to cease false hopes.
Anyway, tomorrow I will wake up 'late', watch 'Coco Avant Chanel on dvd, have lunch at home and laze until Good Friday service. It's 3am... I haven't been up at this hour for a very long time. Man I miss college.
I'll be on probation for eight months in total. It's a little ludicrous if you ask me- I feel like Jacob after realizing Leah wasn't Rachel, having to work another seven years for her hand in marriage.
This time last year girls from my small group came around, we had take out drunk man noodles and pad thai from Spice and watched Passion of Christ before going for Good Friday service. It seems only a fragile memory now.
------------------------------------------------
It's funny how everything works on God's timing. As Hybels puts it, if you write down the things that you pray for and look back upon it, you start to see ways in which God answers those requests.
I asked for a better job situation and two month later, received it. I get to travel to Korea every two to four months which I love because it's not excessive but enough to give me a change of scenery and a breath of fresh air once in a while without disrupting my social/church life.
I wanted to see sakura in Japan before I die (one of those silly lists you make for fun), and I will be going this Monday. However I am sad I won't be able to spend it with my cousin in Brooklyn Botanicals. Those are memories to be cherished.
------------------------------------------------
One of my favourite spaces in my apartment is the floor in the kitchen. It's tight but I can sit down and stretch my legs out until my feet hit the oven door. When waiting for cookies to melt, cakes to rise and crusts to solidify, my friend and I would sit to watch the oven work its magic and talk with our backs leaned against the fridge.
Yesterday while I was making cookies, a friend suddenly asked if I ever dated and concluded that I wasn't in a relationship because I look very 'chuen' in addition to my height which apparently makes one intimidating package.
This isn't the first time someone has called me 'chuen'. 'Chuen' kind of means stuck up without the snobbery. A month ago I was talking with a guy from church who mused at the end of our conversation that he didn't think I was interested in talking to him when we first met because I just looked "indifferent". I said maybe because I was just trying to gauge my surroundings rather than jumping in to avoid appearing overly eager. That same night, my aunt suddenly said I looked very "chuen" when I don't smile. I blame it on four years in NYC.
I am aware that I may have that unapproachable look partially because I don't like making eye contact with people especially when I'm trying to barrel down the sidewalk to get to a destination.
I really wonder how God will work in this area of my life. It's funny how He brings certain people who seem so much like the 'one' (I don't believe in that but for lack of a better word just take it as a brief social connection as opposed to the many possibilities of Mr.X) but there's always a big glaring 'NO' somewhere down the line.
I've always wondered why God doesn't just place the contentedness and fullness of being single in our lives and awaken the desire to be married when the right person comes along instead of all the wishful thinking, the confusion and stupid ideas. I mean, if He wants our total devotion, it would be A LOT easier if I wasn't thinking about so-and-so.
I thought what I did 1.5 years ago would make me lose all hope in order to place that hope in God (as opposed to people) yet to this day, I can't say that that has worked the way I thought it would. Dreams began surfacing lately, startling me enough to force myself awake. Initially I thought it was perhaps a sign from God that there'd be a future but after reflecting on the nature of the dreams, realized it was probably the work of the devil. At the same time I can't help but hope that we will someday meet again. I only dare to recall our introductions and trust God that if it pleases Him, to place us together, otherwise, to cease false hopes.
Anyway, tomorrow I will wake up 'late', watch 'Coco Avant Chanel on dvd, have lunch at home and laze until Good Friday service. It's 3am... I haven't been up at this hour for a very long time. Man I miss college.
1 Comments:
sometimes i really wonder how you can write so much in one blog.....
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