An unnecessary rant by a failed 'artist' (reading is not necessary):
*shudder* Why is it so cold in the basement? My fingers are freezing, and my headache is getting a bit worse from inhaling gold leaf paint fumes (imagine inhaling permanent marker for three hours.. yech.) Remind me next time to start my projects earlier and to stop procrastinating all the time. I spend more time worrying about doing the project than the actual doing. How pathetic. I hate my golf project. Die golf project. It looks like crap (I mean crap. Not artist crap but crap crap. Why am I in AY Art again? I suck at art. How am I gonna get into Pratt???!!)
My top choices for uni (cuz I am so tipsy from the stupid fumes):
1. Pratt Institute
2. Parsons School of Design
3. Ryerson (unless I apply for RHIS.. rhode island something something)
4.Sheridan
Wait.. is that it? 4 universities?! No way... this is a joke, I can't apply to only four or five unis... what if I don't get accepted into any of them?! Omg...(why can I hear 'Faint' in my head? It's annoying. Shut up) Oh wait. Maybe I'll apply for FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology.. it's mainly fashion but offers other design degrees too). Oh New York New York! I don't know. I don't wanna go to university and go out into this 'real world' (what a cliche. It's pretty stupid. What is 'real world' anyway? Aren't we all living in it already? Don't bother arguing with me). Call me a romanticist, but after reading so many novels and watching so many movies on how these girls have all these hopes and dreams of becoming this or that and doing this or that.... all to find that everything didn't turn out as expected... they never reached that dream of being this or doing that and ended up with relatively 'crummy' lives: shattered dreams? Sigh. I'm scared of breaking out of that cocoon though. Say.. what if I did get accepted into Pratt? Or my initial dream uni of Parsons? Do I go in? Is that my sign from God that I should go cuz I got accepted? Would He close specific doors and open others so that I may go on the right path? I feel like life is like a tightrope, take one false step and you fall. How do you know whether or not your decision in life is what God wants and not what you want? I don't know. I don't know whether or not my choices I make are God directed or man directed. Sigh, I wish we got visions too like Joseph and all those Bible characters. And it's called Waiting for God: when man cannot stand still and be patient to wait for directions. SO! Must not worry must not worry.. must do my best... oh you know what happened yesterday? I had finished timing for swim team tryouts and the two twins (the Iranian ones. Aleka and Elena? Sorry if I spelt their names wrong) came gushing over my painted purse. Which was nice. You know that black dude? Um, don't know his name but whatever (there aren't many black pple in our school. I think six).. he told me "Yo you should sell those, seriously man. Use your talent to the max." And it stuck to me I guess. Whatever. If you're still reading my post.. okay... I don't think it made any sense whatsoever and had no particular organized-logical-structure to it... See, I'm even struggling for words now. Must get off. I'll be back on Monday before dinner.
*shudder* Why is it so cold in the basement? My fingers are freezing, and my headache is getting a bit worse from inhaling gold leaf paint fumes (imagine inhaling permanent marker for three hours.. yech.) Remind me next time to start my projects earlier and to stop procrastinating all the time. I spend more time worrying about doing the project than the actual doing. How pathetic. I hate my golf project. Die golf project. It looks like crap (I mean crap. Not artist crap but crap crap. Why am I in AY Art again? I suck at art. How am I gonna get into Pratt???!!)
My top choices for uni (cuz I am so tipsy from the stupid fumes):
1. Pratt Institute
2. Parsons School of Design
3. Ryerson (unless I apply for RHIS.. rhode island something something)
4.Sheridan
Wait.. is that it? 4 universities?! No way... this is a joke, I can't apply to only four or five unis... what if I don't get accepted into any of them?! Omg...(why can I hear 'Faint' in my head? It's annoying. Shut up) Oh wait. Maybe I'll apply for FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology.. it's mainly fashion but offers other design degrees too). Oh New York New York! I don't know. I don't wanna go to university and go out into this 'real world' (what a cliche. It's pretty stupid. What is 'real world' anyway? Aren't we all living in it already? Don't bother arguing with me). Call me a romanticist, but after reading so many novels and watching so many movies on how these girls have all these hopes and dreams of becoming this or that and doing this or that.... all to find that everything didn't turn out as expected... they never reached that dream of being this or doing that and ended up with relatively 'crummy' lives: shattered dreams? Sigh. I'm scared of breaking out of that cocoon though. Say.. what if I did get accepted into Pratt? Or my initial dream uni of Parsons? Do I go in? Is that my sign from God that I should go cuz I got accepted? Would He close specific doors and open others so that I may go on the right path? I feel like life is like a tightrope, take one false step and you fall. How do you know whether or not your decision in life is what God wants and not what you want? I don't know. I don't know whether or not my choices I make are God directed or man directed. Sigh, I wish we got visions too like Joseph and all those Bible characters. And it's called Waiting for God: when man cannot stand still and be patient to wait for directions. SO! Must not worry must not worry.. must do my best... oh you know what happened yesterday? I had finished timing for swim team tryouts and the two twins (the Iranian ones. Aleka and Elena? Sorry if I spelt their names wrong) came gushing over my painted purse. Which was nice. You know that black dude? Um, don't know his name but whatever (there aren't many black pple in our school. I think six).. he told me "Yo you should sell those, seriously man. Use your talent to the max." And it stuck to me I guess. Whatever. If you're still reading my post.. okay... I don't think it made any sense whatsoever and had no particular organized-logical-structure to it... See, I'm even struggling for words now. Must get off. I'll be back on Monday before dinner.
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